It's a meditation for challenging times.
When you have a lot of anxiety and you have enough of awareness to notice that anxiety.
When things are feeling spinning too fast in directions that you not necessarily want or there are events happen that you cannot control and you cannot change but you must deal with the outcomes of those events.
And you feel this spinning wheel in your mind of thoughts and it goes down as a like disturbing thoughts and it goes down as a hot wave of anxiety.
And it takes all your body and you feel like you need to run somewhere but you don't know where to run or you're not sure what to do.
Very uncomfortable feeling.
I offer you to sit with your back straight hands rested on your lap.
Here you go.
That's a good start of you sitting in one place.
No need to run at this moment.
Naturally comes deep breath.
It just seems to be a very logical next step.
You're taking a deep breath in and out.
As many as you need.
Sitting yourself in this chair or whatever you're sitting on.
Let your body be as it is.
If you feel that hot wave of stress,
Anxiety if your heart is beating fast and thoughts are coming those specific thoughts that bring you anxiety that's okay.
Now it's okay.
Release all the tensions if there is any in your body.
Let the energy of stress freely move through you.
Release control of anything.
Feel your body from the inside.
Your eyes are closed.
No movements.
Right now I notice some disturbing thoughts coming to my mind about a current situation that I'm dealing with that is involving other people and there are decisions that I need to make and there is discomfort involved.
There is old trauma involved.
My body.
.
.
So I notice that my body has like at the moment has strong reaction.
Heart is pounding.
Fear feels like a knot in my stomach.
That's a heat wave all over my body.
And then immediately when I pay attention to this what's happening in my body I'm asking where is this from?
And I realize that all these sensations caused by my thoughts about future I project future situation imagine this and that's happening calculating,
Speculating my mind is on what might happen and how it will affect me and how possibly I will feel when that's happening.
And that's future does not exist.
And here I am creating a picture of the future and my body reacts strongly to that to the phantom.
As I speak about it I feel release.
I feel that some things inside me processed.
They are not clinging anymore on me.
I realize that all what I have is this moment of me sitting my body sitting and talking.
Nothing else is happening right now.
I ask is there anything that should be done by me about this situation that I keep thinking about?
And I just received a phone call and I just made a decision and it was right decision some other people will be affected by that and I just right now realizing that it is really right decision in this situation and what the body reaction is when I think of the whole situation is simply fear.
Fear of being attacked.
Fear for my own life.
It's not that extreme in this situation but that's what's the type of fear my body feels.
The survival is threatened.
It's liberating to understand that.
It's like standing face to face to your fear and recognize it and see it for what it is.
I also realize that there is no straight direct threat to my survival.
It's mostly imagination and instinctive thoughts of what might and might not happen.
Now when I recognize my fear or this fear it's not even mine it happens in the body.
Now I can understand deeply that there is nothing threatening my life right now and that heat wave is gone.
The knot in my stomach is gone.
I will not let my mind to overanalyze what's happening.
I just let myself feel it.
Feel the movement of these emotions inside and sensations.
At some point it was very uncomfortable now it's almost complete peace.
I will just be with it.
And now I feel an urge to continue living my life continue with my day.
I feel like the work is done and I don't need to sit in meditation anymore.
That sounds like a good point to finish up.
I hope you had an opportunity to feel your own disturbing thoughts and sensations in the body and become aware of them and to see what's behind it and what exactly that is.
And I hope you were able to feel how it got processed when you sit still with it and when you don't hold it in you let it transform.
Thank you for being here.
