Hello,
Friends.
This is Marian.
Today we practice building equanimity.
This is about making space,
Space for emotions,
For sensations,
For people and ideas.
Those that we are attracted to and those that repel us.
It's easy for us to make room in our lives for the things that we are attracted to.
They seep into us,
Becoming deeply embedded.
Sometimes it becomes difficult to let them go,
Even though it may be time to move on.
Likewise,
We close the door on things that don't appear to be attractive.
Equanimity,
The capacity to be with what is without judgment,
Opens the door.
It is fundamental for building trust,
For leadership,
For developing relationships and for compassion.
To build it,
We practice.
And so we begin.
Align your posture such that you are sitting up straight and tall.
You exude an air of confidence.
You belong here.
Feel the support beneath you.
Now take a breath and feel your spine extending.
See if you can feel the entire length of your body,
From the tips of your toes to the top of your head.
Gracious,
Dignified.
Feel the length of your body.
Now breathe deep into the abdomen and notice your body extending with each breath.
And now notice the width of your body,
From side to side.
Feel yourself commanding this space.
Notice the space between your ears,
Between your shoulders,
Space between your hips,
Your knees and your feet.
And now see if you can feel the energy surrounding you.
This is the energy that supports us connecting with each other.
And now notice your depth,
The space between your front and your back.
Draw your attention to your back,
Noticing the back of your legs,
Your spine.
And as you breathe,
Just notice how the spine extends.
With your attention on your back,
Bring to mind all of your loved ones that have gone ahead of you.
And all of those that are here with you today.
Those that love you,
That support you.
They're here.
They're right here behind you.
Feel their presence.
If this is challenging for you,
Know that many of us are here with you right now.
We are here.
Feel the support of all of us behind you.
Now bring your attention to the front of your body.
Go through the body,
Through the muscles,
The tissues,
The bones.
Come through to the front and focus on your heart.
Open your chest.
See if you can feel your breath passing through you.
And now remind yourself of why you're here today.
What matters most to you?
See if you can center around this.
Picture what is most important to you.
Just allow yourself to breathe with this for a moment.
In this place where we feel centered,
We move to the next stage of our practice.
Imagine yourself as a place.
A place of safety and refuge.
Your sense of presence provides a sturdy,
Secure roof.
Your limbs are the walls that protect everyone inside.
Your eyes allow the sunlight,
The moonlight to enter.
The embers of your heart give warmth and comfort.
Your lungs breathe life into all that come into this space.
All are welcome here.
There is no judgment,
No rejection.
There is spaciousness and acceptance.
Breathe in this space.
Just breathe.
Just breathe.
Everything is welcome here.
Listen.
Do you hear?
Can you hear the gentle tapping at the door?
Your heart opens wide,
Inviting in the sweet child.
Virtuous.
Pure.
Notice where she takes up residence in your body.
Where do you feel her?
What does this feel like?
Perhaps you feel an attachment.
Maybe you're drawn to the warmth and the comfort.
And you desire more.
If this is the case,
See if you can let this desire pass,
Allowing the child some space of her own.
With equanimity,
We allow things to be,
Neither attaching nor detaching,
Allowing whatever is here to be here.
We are not ignoring or suppressing what is here.
We acknowledge what is here,
And we let it be.
Give space to the child.
Notice what is here for you,
And allow yourself to be with whatever is here.
The next tap at the door is louder.
A slight tremor moves through you.
A strength and raw power evade the room.
As this stranger moves past,
Do you desire to take charge,
To take the power?
Or perhaps your tendency is to cower,
To make yourself smaller,
To acquiesce?
Is it possible for you to do neither,
To maintain your own presence and your own space,
And to also allow this guest his own room?
Give space.
Notice what is here.
Allow yourself to be with this,
With whatever is here.
Over the course of the next few hours,
The door continues to swing back and forth.
A rush of cold,
Chilling air accompanies grief.
Sadness settles deep into your bones.
You acknowledge this presence,
This sadness,
This grief.
You acknowledge it,
And you give it space.
Notice what is here,
And allow yourself to be with whatever is here.
A mother's gentle touch fills the corners of the room with love,
With joy.
There's a light,
Pleasant scent,
Clean,
Fresh.
You acknowledge her presence and give her space.
Notice what is here now,
And allow yourself to be with this.
Musty,
Damp shame wraps itself around you.
It smells like mildew.
It's hard to breathe.
It enters the house,
Seeping through the window cracks.
You feel it here.
You acknowledge its presence and give it space.
Notice what is here.
Allow yourself to be here with whatever is here.
Bright,
Yellow laughter comes bouncing down the path,
Bringing lightness and cheer.
You acknowledge its presence and give it space.
Notice what is here.
Allow yourself to be here with whatever is here.
There's one final knock at the door,
And you find yourself immediately on edge.
A bone-chilling sensation runs down the length of your spine.
Your jaw locks.
Your breath quickens,
And your shoulders rise.
On high alert,
You reluctantly open the door.
Bile fills your throat.
You're repulsed by the image,
Grotesque,
Hateful.
You muster all of your strength,
Resisting the impulse to turn away.
For a moment,
You cannot move.
You're paralyzed.
It's hard to look at this abomination.
It represents everything you detest.
Notice what's here.
Where do you feel this in your body?
And from somewhere deep inside,
The sweet child,
Virtuous and pure,
Radiates warm,
Unconditional love,
Allowing you to make way for your final guest.
Acknowledge its presence and give it space.
Notice what is here.
Allow yourself to be with whatever is here.
What do you notice?
Breathe with the space.
Notice how the house settles.
Breathing in.
Breathing out.
The floorboards creak.
The windows rattle.
We let it be.
Breathe into the space with whatever is here.
Just breathe.
Notice whatever is here.
Just breathe.
Just breathe.
Just breathe.
Learning to not attach to the things that bring us pleasure allows us to be present with the pleasure in the moment in a very gentle and non-clinging way.
It respects that everything is temporary.
This enables us to let go of possessions that no longer serve us.
It enables us to let our children move on to make their own decisions.
It prepares us to let go of our old and decrepit bodies when they are no longer able to function.
Detaching from things that agonize us also brings great benefit.
When we are repulsed,
We look away,
Or at best,
We look at the surface.
We miss the depth.
We miss the opportunity to engage with a completely different way of thinking.
We close the door on growth and on compassion.
Just breathe with whatever is here.
Just notice and be with whatever is here.
As we come to a close with our practice,
We set an intention.
Today,
Give me the strength and the courage to open the door,
To allow space for whomever or whatever is on the other side.
Today,
Give me the strength and the courage to be with all of me.
If you would like to experiment with cultivating equanimity outside of your meditation practice,
I offer the following exercise.
Over the course of the day,
Pay attention to your reactions to different individuals and situations.
Notice when you are automatically feeling warmth and acceptance,
When you feel ambivalence,
And when there is a level of disdain.
Pay attention to what you notice.
Don't judge yourself for this.
Instead,
Try to be curious.
The second step in the practice is to bring everyone you meet throughout the day a gift,
A wish for happiness,
Joy,
And laughter.
This allows us to make space for everyone and can also bring great peace.
This is the end of today's practice.
Thank you for joining me.
I'm grateful for your presence.
