How Meditation & Mindfulness Can Work For You.

The words mindfulness and meditation are thrown everywhere. Seemingly to be the cure-all to all human problems, health issues and promising that they are the latest panacea. People are left disappointed when they try it out on their own with limited results, believing that these practices "do not work". Dr. Gina explains how to get better results with your meditation and mindfulness practices.

Transcript

Welcome to Living Simply,

A guide to mindful living and mindful parenting with your host,

Dr.

Gina.

Hey,

Everybody.

Welcome to Living Simply with Dr.

Gina.

Dr.

Gina,

There you are.

How are you today?

I'm good.

How have you been this afternoon?

I'm wonderful.

Thanks.

And let's also bring on Crystal,

One of our other producers.

Hey,

Crystal.

How's it going?

It's going really well.

Gina,

What are we talking about today?

We're talking about mindfulness and meditation and why they don't always work.

And why is that?

The big question.

Yeah,

I thought it'd be an interesting conversation to have because mindfulness and meditation have existed for thousands of years,

At least 2000.

And right now it's super,

Super popular.

And you can get a course of mindfulness meditation a bit everywhere.

And a lot of people say it doesn't work,

But it's because they're not guided often by a teacher.

So there's a lot of misconceptions and promises that it's the cure all to everything,

But people are missing the information that goes around it to make it more effective.

So,

What is some of the stuff that they're missing that's going around it that isn't usually encapsulated in all of this?

Well,

I usually compare,

There's two components.

So there's meditation,

Which is basically taking time away from your regular routines to sit,

Close your eyes and stay still for a few moments from five minutes to 45 minutes if you want.

And it's literally exercise for the brain.

And mindfulness is more a way of being which is being present to what is happening inside and outside of you without judgment.

So,

Those are practices similar to example,

Going to the gym,

Going to yoga,

Practicing sports that they need to be applied within a bigger context.

So I thought it guided with your questions or I could go on and on how we can make these work.

So how do we apply the principles of mindfulness and meditation in real life,

As opposed to thinking,

Okay,

I'm going to sit 30 minutes and meditate,

And all my problems are going to go away.

It doesn't work that way.

In the same way that gratitude,

A lot of people now have gratitude journals.

So,

You can practice gratitude first thing in the morning,

Last thing at night,

And be totally ungrateful all day.

So again,

They'll go,

It doesn't work.

I'm not happier,

Even if I'm grateful.

And again,

It's because they're missing a few elements that they need to add to it to make it work.

So it kind of sounds like these are maybe the foundation that you need to lay,

But not the end of the road.

What are the kind of things that we need to build on top of that foundation then?

Yeah,

So example,

If we use meditation,

There are tons of different kinds of meditation,

But the ultimate goal of meditation is to be the observer of your thoughts instead of participating in them.

Noticing,

Let's say your meditation is focusing on your breath,

You get distracted with your thoughts,

You come back to your breath.

So when you're not sitting to meditate,

What you want to do is in your day to day,

Let's say,

I don't know,

Let's say you're gardening,

And suddenly your mind drifts to all your problems.

And suddenly you notice you feel anxious.

Well,

It's to notice before you get into a state of anxiousness,

My mind is drifting,

I need to get back to my gardening and just focus on the act of gardening and let go my thoughts because these are thoughts that are not useful,

They'll get me anxious.

And it's the dance of always coming back to the present moment.

So applying it,

That strategy throughout your day.

And the mindfulness component of that is,

Well,

You need to be present to let's say gardening,

To notice you're drifting.

So if you're not present,

You can't notice you're drifting.

And the meditation builds that the brain muscle to be able to come back.

So when you're not used to it,

You get hooked by your thoughts and you go on and on for an hour.

And when you're better at it,

You catch yourself sooner.

So you don't get lost in a frenzy in your mind and get anxious and angry and bent out of shape because you catch yourself soon enough.

That's one example.

All right.

Silence.

No,

I liked the example.

Why do you think that there is such a big tendency to rely on things as a catch all?

I mean,

You know,

The mindfulness and meditation are things that clearly work when used properly and used as a baseline,

As you both said.

But what is the thing about us that wants everything to be the magic bullet?

Well,

Because we're hedonistic beings,

We search pleasure and avoid pain.

So naturally,

We want a quick fix and mixed into that marketing practices and people get caught up with marketing,

Right?

Just like quick diet pills because it's a lot more painful to watch your meals,

Go exercise.

It takes a lot more efforts.

So I think that's why people want a quick fix because it is easier.

So then,

I mean,

Obviously nothing.

There's no such thing as a,

You know,

Cure for everything.

So maybe the question is,

How do we develop this for kind of long term use and do that?

So the way I start my clients,

Some are easy and they really want to do it and practice,

But people are more resistant.

I start with two minutes of meditation a day.

Research,

I don't remember what university,

But they saw that even two minutes when they were looking at brain scans already made a difference in the frontal lobe of the brain.

So I tell them,

Don't tell me you don't have two minutes to close your eyes and practice and we make it a daily thing.

So a bit like exercise,

It's discipline and schedule it at a time that you're more likely to do it.

So example,

Just before you get up in the morning or just before you fall asleep at night,

You pick anchor days and times where you're more likely to do it and you just do it in the same way you choose to brush your teeth,

Not necessarily because it's fun and you like it,

But for prevention purposes.

So I think the key is to schedule it,

But most important,

If you want to stick to it,

Like any habit is to know your why.

Why do you want to do it and hang on to the why versus expecting to be motivated to do it.

So that's the first step to start that,

At least the practice of meditation.

It looks like you have something.

So yeah,

I mean,

My big question is about the why.

Can we explore that a little bit more because I think that that kind of sums up everything in regards to this.

If you don't know the why,

Then you're going to probably go for the quick fix more or you're going to buy the marketing and not use it right.

You know what I mean?

So how do you match the why to the how to with these tools that do work,

But they're such buzzwords now that they become,

You know,

Like it's exactly like you said earlier with the working out thing.

You know,

If you do yoga every day,

But then you also still eat cheeseburgers and junk food and it doesn't really do much.

How do you marry your why with your how to make these more than just buzzwords?

So if a bit like exercise,

Let's say someone needs to exercise because they're overweight.

Someone needs to exercise because they're too sedentary and they're getting back problems.

There could be a million reasons why people exercise,

But the common thing is exercising is good for you.

So meditation and mindfulness are good for everything.

It's good for physical issues.

It's good for whether lowering blood pressure,

Managing emotions.

So whatever your problem is.

So let's say you find you're too quick to anger.

Meditation will help you slow down.

So develop the brain muscle to train yourself to keep coming back to the present moment and slow down.

And then practices of mindfulness allows you to notice when you're triggered,

Let's say,

And not be so knee jerk reaction.

So your why,

For example,

Could be if you're too quick to anger and you're constantly screaming at your child and verbally abusing them and it's ruining the relationship,

Your why could be,

If I practice this,

I'm doing it so that my relationship with my child remains positive and close.

So when we understand the end result that we want,

That becomes our why.

I'm just curious how,

Say your life is good.

Everything's okay.

Relationships are good.

What are kind of the benefits of starting this practice anyway?

Even if your life is good.

All of us have busy minds,

Mind chatter.

It doesn't have to be that your life is bad.

It might just be that it's good to just slow you down,

Builds resilience.

But it's also,

If you don't feel the need for it,

You don't have to do it.

Some people never meditate and they'll be fine because their whole life is pretty healthy and others prefer to use prayer as a form of mentation and centering themselves.

So for some,

If like you say,

Everything's good,

It could simply be,

It's me time to slow down and slow down the mind and thinking so much and getting grounded.

It could simply be for those reasons.

Do the reasons matter?

I know the why matters.

Do the reasons that lead you to it matter to begin with?

What do you mean the difference between the why and the reasons?

For me they're kind of the same.

Right.

But the why is something that you need to gain clarity on,

I feel like.

What do you get from a reason to,

You know what I'm saying?

If you come into it for one reason,

But then you find out why you're really there.

Because it's such a,

Mindfulness and meditation have almost become cliches now in today's world.

And so the reason you might've started doing it is that all of your friends do it or that people tell you to do it or that you've stumbled across a podcast that told you that it would help you clear your mind.

So those are the reasons why you might've started.

And so that's my clarification on that is,

You know,

You go from the reason that you were interested into the why would it be valuable to your life,

Right?

Okay.

Yeah.

So example,

I started meditate.

I was too busy in my head to even do meditation.

I was like,

Oh,

That's not for me until like,

You know,

When my daughter got sick,

My anxiety was so high.

I was willing to try anything.

And I knew it was the fear,

The fear.

And I was just like,

Just give me something.

And I used it honestly out of faith because I had no idea if it would work.

And it not only calm my anxiety,

Suddenly it,

I started,

Started to see an impact in every area of my life.

So now I,

When I get ungrounded,

I'm like,

Okay,

Maybe I should do it a bit more.

So yeah,

My reason did change because I notice because I'm a bit ADD when I'm too in my head,

It's okay,

I need to get back in my body and meditation helps me with that and it helps me be more present.

So yeah,

Your reasons can change just like exercising.

You could start for one reason that the doctor told you and you notice benefits on your mood or just you like it for the social aspects and you just keep doing it.

So you're right.

The reason doesn't always matter and it can change.

What about the fact that sometimes people treat these sorts of things as like an axe behind the glass,

Like breaking case of emergency.

You know what I mean?

Like,

Oh,

I'm feeling anxious today,

So I'm going to go meditate versus making it an actual part of your everyday routine and your life.

Like,

Is it as helpful,

Is it as applicable if you use it as an in case of emergency only type situation?

Well,

I found with people who've never meditated with my clients,

That's how they use it and they say it doesn't work and I'm like,

Of course it doesn't work because you haven't honed the skill yet.

So they're like,

People assume,

Okay,

I'm going to meditate,

It'll calm me down.

Not always.

Sometimes you'll meditate and your mind won't stop during that meditation and you keep coming back a hundred times and there'll be other meditations where it's so peaceful and quiet and it's not one worked and one didn't work.

It just is.

So every meditation session can change.

So we have to be detached from what it's going to look like.

If there is a side effect that it calms you down,

Awesome,

But it's not always guaranteed.

So if you use it like an axe in the window,

Chances,

It won't work.

Do you think,

Go ahead.

Oh,

I was saying,

Do you think that there is any,

Like one form of meditation that's better than another?

I know there's like diehard fans of say,

Transcendental,

Mindfulness.

Does it matter what kind of meditation we do as long as we're meditating?

Yeah,

I don't think just like exercise,

I think it's not one size fits all.

There's so many different kinds.

I don't know them all,

Obviously.

I'm not an expert by all means,

But it's what you resonate more with,

Right?

So some people like transcendental meditation.

Some people like just to focus on their breath.

Some people like to focus on an image,

Some on a thought.

So I first learned ascension meditation,

Which has multiple spheres,

And it's basically different sayings that you repeat.

So yeah,

I don't,

I don't necessarily think one is better than the other,

But I do think it's better to have a guide and a teacher the same way I have teachers.

And I'm more in fact than the beginners,

But there are so many meditators that are way more ahead than I am.

Like I've never been in a one week silent retreat,

For example.

But I can't speak of that experience.

My question was about sort of,

And I know that most of these live shows have gone back to this,

But we are where we are.

With the state of the world right now,

People are needing anxiety relievers and stress relievers and ways to clear their mind and to not think about the awful things that are happening every day.

So I feel like there's a lot more people that are coming to mindfulness and meditation for that.

And so what would be some advice that you have for people who are stumbling across this because they are searching for it to deal with the pandemic and the race wars that are happening right now,

All of the things that are going on in our society today.

They're coming to mindfulness and meditation.

What's your advice for them?

Well,

What comes to mind firsthand,

Because people are going to shop around and they don't know what's good,

What's not good.

But what comes to mind quickly is there's an app called Insight Timer,

Which I find is amazing.

That's how that's what I used when I first started.

And within this app,

There are many talks and teachers that have beginner courses on meditation.

So I think that's a good place to start where they can just by doing a search,

They'll see a whole bunch of different teachers.

They can listen what voice they prefer and who they resonate most with and get educated about mindfulness and meditation by real teachers.

So not someone who just took a weekend course and that way they'll know really what to expect of the practice,

How it works,

Because a lot of people think meditation means you don't think anymore.

The only way you stop thinking is if you're dead.

Absolutely.

So I'd like to take a minute to ask both of you how,

If Crystal came back in.

Hey,

There you are.

So I'd like to take a moment to ask both of you how mindfulness and meditation has positively impacted your life.

Crystal,

Can you hear us?

Crystal?

Yeah.

Sorry,

I'm having some internet issues.

Can you hear me okay?

Yep.

How has mindfulness and meditation affected your life?

How has mindfulness and meditation have helped.

.

.

I would say help me notice this when I need to slow down,

Like when I'm doing too much.

And I need to take a moment and step back and just reassess what I'm doing and how I'm doing it.

That makes a lot of sense.

And that's great.

Gina,

How has mindfulness and meditation helped you throughout the years?

I mean,

You talked about turning towards it once your daughter got sick.

Well,

It helps me in many different ways if there's a challenge that pops up,

Whether it's an intense emotion.

.

.

.

.

.

Come out on something else and notice,

Pay attention,

And problem solve,

And don't spin out of control.

So regardless of what it is,

It's helped me be more present and it's helped me with anxiety a lot.

Awesome.

How about you?

Has it helped you?

Yeah,

It definitely has.

I think I don't do it enough to.

.

.

But when I have regularly,

It's helped.

But I've never gotten into a full-on groove with it,

Where it's become an absolute necessity in my routine.

And I need to fix that because I think it would really help with stuff.

But yeah,

It's something that I don't make time for enough.

Well,

I think if people are not ready to meditate,

I always tell them start with guided meditations.

So they're listening to someone talk about whatever,

And it's less intimidating.

Absolutely.

I agree with that completely.

And Insight Timer has a ton of wonderful guided meditations.

Also,

An app called Headspace is really wonderful.

So those were definitely my two favorite.

But yeah,

I just need to get into it more.

I would say,

While meditation hasn't been a huge factor,

I do think that mindfulness and being mindful is something that I do practice a lot.

And just in the moment,

Just bringing yourself back to the current moment and really thinking about what you're doing.

So that's been really nice.

Hey,

If people just practice mindfulness,

Just that a lot of things would change in the world.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

They make better choices.

They'd slow down and reassess before reacting.

They definitely would.

Before we move on to our moment of gratitude,

Is there something else?

Is there another point that you'd like to hammer home or some final words on mindfulness and meditation?

Well,

I wanted to say that I'm planning to start a Zoom mindfulness meditation mini course.

I'm thinking probably launching it around mid-June,

Third week of June.

So if ever people are interested,

It might be a good way to get introduced to it.

Awesome.

That's great.

So we end every episode with a moment of gratitude.

Crystal had to drop out because of her internet issues.

So we'll do that.

I'll start because it's your show.

If that's okay with you.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Sure.

I just want to end with you.

So for me,

The thing that I'm grateful for today is my best friend's son was here for two months straight because of the pandemic.

And he went back and he stayed at his dad's house for a little over a week.

And I'm really happy that he's back now and on a fairly normal schedule again,

Hopefully.

But I'm just grateful that he's back and to have that.

You really missed him just being gone eight days.

And also,

I really feel for the other side of the family for whom he was not with for two months because a week was hard.

You know,

So I'm grateful every day for the large amount of time that I get to spend with him.

Yeah,

He's pretty sweet.

He is.

But that's that.

So that's what I was thinking about today.

Gina,

What are you grateful for?

I've been I hit a little bump in the road.

So I'm very grateful for a good friend who was there for me this week and for you as well.

And Crystal.

Thank you.

And thank you on behalf of Crystal,

I assume.

Yeah.

That's awesome.

And yeah,

Friends that are there for you when you need them are really important.

And I think we could all use a lot more of that right now.

I just want to let everybody know,

If you want to check out Crystal's stuff,

Go to braveandboldwriter.

Com so that you can see all of that and everything that she has to offer.

And Dr.

Gina,

Can you tell people where they can find you if they would like some help?

Yeah,

Dr.

Madrigrano.

Com or dr.

Gina.

Ca and on Facebook.

Awesome.

Also,

The piece in the pandemic piece in a pandemic course is available now.

You can get that on Dr.

Gina's website.

Thank you so much.

We we sort of this was a this was a weird time frame for when we just put in and,

You know,

615 to 645 when we recorded this live.

So thank you if you're watching it live.

Thank you if you're watching it on the replay and you can check out these videos live every Monday,

Usually at 6 p.

M.

Eastern time.

And you can check them out on the podcast,

Living Simply and on Insight Timer.

So thank you so much,

Gina.

And we'll talk to you soon.

OK,

Thank you.

Reviews

Very interesting! Meditation has helped me but mindfulness has been life altering for me. I'm not sure where I would be now if I hadn't learned about it. Thank you!