May I Be At Peace With The Changes In Life

There are laws of nature that we can learn to live in alignment with, and when we do, bring ourselves greater ease and well-being. Not all changes in our lives are personal challenges. This talk and companion meditation on working with change helps integrate the idea into our daily life, allowing us to be more at peace with the changes in life.

Transcript

So today our topic and meditation are centered around the idea of working with change.

So there are laws of nature that we can learn to live in alignment with and when we do bring ourselves greater ease and well-being.

Take for example gravity.

If you think of a toddler sitting at a high chair and they drop their food on one side and notice that it goes straight down.

Maybe they do it on the other side.

It goes straight down on that side.

They drop it on the floor and gravity pulls it down to the floor.

Maybe they turn their head away and they're not watching it.

Does it still happen?

As a matter of fact it does.

So a toddler very quickly learns that there's something going on here.

That they may not understand who's running the gravity or how it's working or the mathematical formula behind it.

But they do know that if they don't want to lose their treat or their favorite toy not to place it in midair because it will fall on the ground and break.

So this is an example of learning to live in alignment with a law of nature.

So even as a toddler they may not understand gravity but they know how to work with it in their lives to make their lives easier.

So similarly even as an adult if something falls and breaks we know why that happened and the important thing here is that we don't take it personally.

In the sense that gravity is not happening to us.

It's happening and if we don't live in alignment with it we place things in midair things break.

Right?

So we might be sad that something breaks but we're not blaming it on you know gravity's out to get me or why did this happen now.

In other words we don't take it personally.

Right?

Gravity happens if you don't work with it you're going to create suffering for yourself.

So there are similar laws of nature that we know but we just haven't fully integrated them into our lives.

And one is working with change.

So we all know that the human condition brings a lot of change over a lifetime.

Things come together in our lives.

They fall apart.

They come back together again.

Change is guaranteed in our lives and we know this but we often don't behave like we know this.

We're often clinging to things because we don't want a good thing to go away.

Or pushing away things that we don't want to happen in our lives as if we have control over these things.

And we often get frustrated and sometimes overwhelmed when something changes that's not to our liking.

So things change and many times we're not in control of how they change or when they change and they're not always to our liking.

However,

And this is the key point,

Most of the time it's not personal to us.

It's simply a mix of causes and conditions that led things to change and be a certain way and we were there when it happened and we were affected.

So developing a deeper sense of acceptance of this can help steady ourselves and not be swept away as easily by life's changes.

And notice that I use the word changes here not challenges.

You know we may perceive a lot of these things that happen to us as challenges to us or things happening to us.

A canceled flight,

A flat tire,

The flu.

But really these are just changes.

Changes that we expect to come along in our life that we will face.

They are just causes and conditions that led to something and we were there and we were affected.

But almost always it's not personal to us.

And why is this important?

Why is this important?

Because when we see every single thing happening to us as personally happening to us,

We create a lot of added suffering or unhappiness for ourselves.

You know back to the beginning of our story,

Imagine being mad at gravity for breaking something.

It's the same.

Things change and we're often affected and it's not always personal.

It's just like living in alignment with gravity.

We can also live in alignment with change and recognize that usually it's not personal.

And this brings about a lot less suffering and frustration in our lives.

So how do we make this sink in?

You know the same way that we're just used to working with gravity.

How do we make this idea sink in?

So let's do a short meditation to kind of help integrate this idea.

So I invite you to find a comfortable posture.

You're just looking to be relaxed and alert at the same time.

So if you're sitting in a chair,

It can be comfortable but try to have your spine in an upright dignified posture.

If it's comfortable for you,

You can close your eyes or just leave them with a low gaze in front of you.

And you might begin by noticing your feet.

What are your feet touching?

Maybe they're resting on the ground at the end of a sofa.

Just noticing that contact point between your feet and what they're resting on.

And then bring your attention to your back,

Your seat,

The contact point of the chair with your body.

You might even lift one of your hands.

Notice that space under the hand.

Place the hand back where it was.

Notice that contact point between the hand and what it was resting on.

What it's resting on now.

Just feeling into your body.

How do you know you're sitting and not floating?

What are the contact points of your body with whatever you're sitting on or lying on?

I'm going to offer a few phrases and after I say them,

You can silently repeat them in your mind back to yourself.

As causes and conditions change,

May I be at peace with the changes in life.

As causes and conditions change,

May I be at peace with the changes in life.

As life's circumstances change,

May I be at peace with the changes in life.

As life's circumstances change,

May I be at peace with the changes in life.

If you're having trouble with this kind of practice,

It's totally okay.

Just try saying the phrases back to yourself anyway.

Or just focus on your body and the connection points with whatever it's resting on.

Or if you're more comfortable using the breath as a focal point,

You can focus on the breath going in and out of the body.

We're just remembering that just like gravity,

If you drop something important to you on the floor and it breaks,

You might be upset that it happened.

But gravity is not personal.

It's not something that happened to you.

It's just a law of nature that you are not living in alignment with.

Not everything that happens to us is personal.

Sometimes things happen and we're just there.

So we'll just do one last round of phrases.

If you can repeat this to yourself.

Not every challenge in life is personal.

May I be at peace with the changes in life.

Not every challenge in life is personal.

May I be at peace with the changes in life.

Notice where your attention is.

If your mind has wandered,

It's not a problem.

Just gently redirect your attention using your ability to focus your attention on this phrase.

And repeat to yourself,

May I be at peace with the changes in life.

Just one more time giving yourself this wisdom.

May I be at peace with the changes in life.

And as we begin to close this practice,

Notice how you feel right now.

You can tap into this clarity or this intention.

Anytime throughout your day,

Whenever you need to,

Simply stop and feel your feet on the ground or the contact points of your body touching whatever it's touching and say to yourself,

May I be at peace with the changes in life.

Let's be patient and kind with ourselves as we work with this principle.

I'm going to bring our session to a close with ringing of bell three times.

And you're invited to focus your attention on the sound of the bell ringing all the way out.

If you want to begin to wiggle your fingers and maybe tilt your head from side to side,

Move your head in whatever way feels comfortable for you.

And if your eyes were closed,

You can slowly open them with a low gaze in front of you and begin to become reoriented with your space.

Thank you for your practice and I look forward to practicing with you again next time.

Reviews

This practice harmonize with one of my most helpful mantras: This is it. All is well. There's nothing wrong here. Life is perfect. THIS is what life looks like when it's working.

This has reduced reactivity and upset helping me relax and be present time after time.

Gentle reminder about change and being at peace with it simple but effective

Accepting and moving with change is truly liberating. Thank you for sharing this meditation so we can all live our lives with a little more ease.

Lovely meditation and guidance, Madelyne. Your calm presence comes through beautifully. Thank you, this is a gift for me today.
Many blessings,
Don

Thank you so much, Madelyne, for your wise words. There are so many changes in my life and the world at the moment I do struggle at times. I appreciate you. 🙏💖🦋

Definitely more a talk than meditation- but good and timely. 💐

Great intro talk, short meditation and reminder to be at peace with the changes in life & not take it personal 🙏🏼