Finding Loving-Kindness Phrases | Metta For Yourself

A guided reflection and journaling practice where we will find our own loving-kindness phrases that speak directly from and to our heart. We will then use these phrases in a Metta meditation to cultivate a sense of care and well wishing to ourselves. This is part 2 of a recorded talk which follows the short talk 'An Attitude of Metta (Loving Kindness)'.

Transcript

Maybe grab a notebook and pen,

Or something that you use to make notes might be something else.

If you need to pause the video,

Please do so now and come back.

And the first part of this practice,

We're going to be part guided reflection,

Maybe partly making notes to see what's being revealed in the heart.

And then we're going to finish with a meditation where we use these phrases.

So firstly,

Just have a stretch of the body.

Now,

Before you settle into your posture,

Please make your body as comfortable as possible.

Once again,

Any posture that you feel drawn to at the moment,

It doesn't have to look a particular way.

But if you could feel as comfortable as you can in this moment,

That's always helpful with a kindness practice.

And once again,

Eyes open,

Eyes closed.

Sometimes people like to have their eyes open,

But casting a soft downward gaze.

Some people enjoy having their eyes closed.

Maybe it's something else.

It might be looking out of a beautiful window,

Just sensing into what feels good for you.

If helpful,

We can start again with those few deeper breaths.

Once again,

Feeling that support,

Stability from beneath the body.

Maybe with each out breath,

Just allowing the body to release a little bit more into the earth.

And if you like,

We're going to get a bit curious about the heart space.

So in the area of the chest,

If touch feels accessible for you,

You can even place a hand or two over the heart space.

And if you like,

Inviting you now to visualise or imagine the heart as a beautiful flower bud.

So imagining the heart as a flower bud.

And as we bring our awareness to the heart,

It's almost like the warm sunshine just embracing this flower bud of the heart.

And as this bud of the heart receives this warm kind of awareness,

It's gently encouraged to become a bit more receptive,

To soften,

To maybe open a little.

And as you connect with the flower bud of the heart,

I'm going to invite you to just drop in this question gently,

Almost like a drop of water into the centre of this flower bud.

Just asking yourself,

What do I need?

What do I,

As a person,

Really need?

What this means is that at the end of the day,

If this hasn't happened,

Then the day doesn't feel complete.

Something still needs to happen.

Something that you need every day.

So what do I really need?

Just taking a moment to listen and allowing any answers to be universal needs.

So,

For example,

The need to feel connected for peace,

Kindness,

Freedom.

So what do you need to feel fulfilled?

What is it?

And let the answer be very simple.

And if any words come up,

You can take a moment to note that down somewhere.

And if you need more time,

Feel welcome to pause the video.

And with the later meditation,

You can use these words as they are,

As they are direct wishes from the heart.

Or you can also convert them into a loving kindness phrase.

So if your need is for kindness,

Maybe your phrase is,

May I begin to be kind to myself?

So if you want,

You can convert your words into a loving kindness phrase.

If your need is to feel connected,

The phrase might be,

May I feel connected to others?

So just taking a moment to jot that down.

Once again,

Giving yourself more time if you need more time.

But otherwise,

Just taking a moment once again to reconnect with the heart space.

If you find it helpful,

You can place a hand over the heart.

Maybe feeling that gentle warmth or pressure from the hand.

Once again,

Imagining the warm,

Kind sunshine of your awareness.

Gently embracing,

Enveloping the beautiful flower bud of your heart.

Gently encouraging it to soften,

To become more receptive.

And we've got one more question to drop in now.

So considering this question,

When you're ready.

What do I long to hear from others?

What words do I long to hear?

Because as a person,

I really need to hear words like this.

Let your body keep breathing.

You don't need an answer straight away.

Sometimes answers take time to emerge.

If I could,

What words could I hear every day for the rest of my life?

Words that either soften me or fill me with gratitude.

Or let me know I'm welcome every time I hear them.

Letting your body breathe.

And if any words appear,

Feeling welcome to make a note of them now.

It may be,

I love you.

I'm here for you.

You're good and I see that you're good.

And don't get into whether it's likely or not.

Words that we want to hear are often qualities that we wish to know deeply about ourselves.

And once again,

You can use these phrases as they are.

Or you can convert them into loving kindness phrases.

So if you heard,

I love you.

Maybe your phrase is,

May I learn to love myself exactly as I am.

If you heard,

I'm here for you.

It might be,

May I remember to come home to myself.

If you heard,

You're a good person.

It might be,

May I trust in my goodness.

So feeling welcome if you wish to change them into loving kindness phrases.

Okay.

This may be to be continued.

Or you're really welcome to give yourself more time now.

For this next part of the practice,

I'm just going to invite you to look over what you've noted.

And choosing two,

Maybe three phrases that are really speaking to your heart right now.

It might just be one phrase even,

But one to three phrases that you feel,

Ah,

Yeah,

This feels like what the heart is yearning for in this moment.

And you're really welcome to keep those in front of you in case you need to refer to it during the practice.

And if no words have come up yet,

That's completely welcome.

Sometimes answers,

You know,

They really need a bit of time and space to emerge.

So in that case,

I'm going to offer some of the phrases I use and you're really welcome to use my phrases.

So I'm going to guide us in a loving kindness practice where we offer ourselves these phrases.

And yeah,

We also have the option to look at ourselves as as a younger self.

But if that feels inappropriate or uncomfortable,

Really just look at yourself,

You know,

At this age you are now.

So you're really giving yourself permission.

Inviting us to have a little stretch,

If you wish,

And then settling into our posture.

Once again,

A few deeper in-breaths,

A few longer out-breaths.

Connecting with our heart space,

Whether that's through visualisation,

Being with the sensations.

Might be touch.

And inviting us now to bring up an image of yourself in your mind's eye as you are here in this moment.

So it's almost like seeing a mirror image of yourself,

Just sitting together in silence.

And as you look at yourself,

You realise that this being,

Just like all other beings in this world,

Just wants to feel safe,

Happy.

Wants to feel well and connected.

Wants to be free from suffering.

And maybe with a gentle smile to yourself,

Just sending yourself these well-wishes.

Beginning to say any words of kindness to yourself.

So using your own words and phrases,

Or feel welcome to use these.

And going slow,

So it's almost like dropping a drop of water onto the surface of a pond or a lake.

But once you've shared the words,

You just allow some time for any ripples to extend outwards.

So it might be,

May I know that I am enough.

May I accept myself exactly as I am.

May I be gentle with myself.

May I know that I am enough.

May I accept myself exactly as I am.

May I be gentle with myself.

If you're finding it difficult to receive these words,

Some people find it helpful to imagine themselves as a young child.

Maybe seven years old or any age.

Only if that feels comfortable,

You can picture yourself as this young innocent child.

And begin to offer them any words that they need to hear.

Feeling very welcome to continue to offer your words of kindness to them.

May I know it's okay to be seen.

May I learn to express my needs.

May I learn to love myself just like this.

And just checking in if there are any final words that your heart really needs to hear right now.

And if so,

Just taking these last few moments to offer them to yourselves.

And whenever you're ready,

Gently releasing any images or words.

Once again,

Feeling the points of contact between the body and the chair or cushions or the earth.

Perhaps taking in one more deep embodied inhale.

Gently releasing this practice with the out breath.

And really taking your time.

Maybe seeing if the body wants to stretch or move.

Maybe taking a moment to look around your space.

And yeah,

Continuing to hold yourselves with gentleness.

Feeling really welcome to explore these phrases again.

If there was a particular phrase that really spoke to you.

You can even just drop it in into your day to day.

So maybe you walk past a mirror at home and you can just pause and look at yourself.

And just offer that good intention to yourself.

Maybe when you wake up,

You might place a hand on the heart.

Or you just might bring an awareness to your body.

Might just say those words,

May I know that I am enough.

Or whatever words that come to you.

And yeah,

Really thanking you for your presence and your practice for this practice session.

And I look forward to seeing you either later today or tomorrow.

Many warm wishes.

Reviews

ThankyouandBless…So helpful to clarify and establish personal Metta phrases for me…Marvellous…Bless you…🧸❤️🙂🐝