So the theme for today's session is coming home.
And I could have taken this theme in many different directions,
But I remembered a time that I heard the Dalai Lama speak.
And he was talking in front of thousands of people.
And not unusually for him,
He began with a period of silence.
And then he suddenly spoke,
So much confusion.
And then he went quiet again.
And eventually he spoke again and shared what he wanted to share.
And after this talk,
No one said,
Gosh,
That Dalai Lama doesn't know what he's talking about.
They loved it.
They loved his authenticity.
They loved how he could share his wisdom,
But also how he could share the times when he was feeling confused or unsure or when feeling challenged.
So this is the theme I really would like to bring for today.
How can we be truly authentic?
How can we allow ourselves to feel safe to show our vulnerability?
And I want to share this because this has almost been my practice for decades.
It's been my practice for a lifetime,
Even longer if I'm counting my ancestors.
So what's been helpful for me is to ask the question,
What are the obstacles to me being authentic?
And reflecting on the past.
In authenticity in myself,
It manifests as particular behaviours.
Perfectionism,
Always being the one who has the answer,
Being the competent one,
Being the strong one.
The one who always holds it together when everyone and everything is falling apart around me.
Does this sound familiar?
Great.
Good to know that I'm not the only one.
So digging a bit deeper,
Why does this behaviour manifest?
And I realised that there was an unconscious belief,
A conditioning that happened many years ago,
A conditioning that was out of control,
That led to the belief that this behaviour would in some way keep me safe.
So I realised,
Ah,
I'm needing safety to be authentic.
So for me at least,
My practice has been around creating inner safety,
Essentially a practice of non-fear.
And yeah,
A brief word about safety.
Safety for me is trusting that I have the capacity,
I have the ability to meet whatever is arising.
So I trust the capacity,
My ability to meet whatever is arising.
And this is essentially mindfulness.
Mindfulness is completely complementary to this,
To be with what's here,
Whether it's pleasant,
Unpleasant or neutral.
Whether it's an intense emotion,
A real difficulty,
A deep grief,
All of that,
Can I trust that I can meet this?
As ultimately,
Even as I sit in this comfortable home here,
Even in this stage of my life that I'm in where work is going well,
Ultimately there is never 100% safety or security.
If we looked a bit deeper,
We could even say maybe there is never any safety or security.
And I'm reminded by this quote by a social activist called Helen Keller.
She said,
Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature,
Nor do we as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
And really to say that this might not be the most compassionate thing to say to someone who is experiencing deep fear in the moment,
But perhaps something to reflect upon if we're not feeling a deep fear,
If we're not in a place of fear in the moment.
My question to you is,
If life is a daring adventure,
Can you dare to be yourself?
Can you dare to be yourself?
And some of you know that loving kindness was taught in the Buddhist tradition as a practice of non-fear.
So that's what we'll be practicing today.
And a reminder that kindness is not only soft and gentle,
But it has a strength to it.
A strength that says it's okay to take up space and I'm here and I'm wholeheartedly here.
