When You Feel Your Teen’s Pain

This meditation is for parents of teens and young adults who feel the pain of their child’s angst and suffering. Travel gently into the center of your luminescence, recognize and honour your own experience, the place from which you can honour and allow them their experience. Leave with a deep sense of peace.

Transcript

I invite you to begin settling in,

Breathing gently,

Allowing each breath to find the places in your body that need nourishment,

Expansion or relaxation,

And allowing the exhales to release whatever needs to be released,

Just letting it go.

And then I invite you to bring your attention and your awareness into your three centers of intelligence.

And so first into the belly center,

Breathing gently into your belly and noticing the sensation of your breath in your belly.

Notice with warm curiosity what areas are tight and what areas are relaxed.

What are you sensing within your belly?

And then moving your attention into your heart space.

How are you experiencing your breath in your chest?

What does your emotional landscape feel like in there?

What feelings are you in touch with right now?

And then shifting your attention into your head center.

Up in there.

How are you experiencing your breath moving through your head,

Within your head?

What sensations are you aware of?

A few more breaths.

There's lots of time.

Thoughts will creep in.

What happens when you shift your attention from those thoughts back to your breath,

Back to the space between the thoughts?

And then feeling the alignment of your belly,

Heart,

And head,

A column of light and love,

With energy circulating and swirling and connecting these brilliant parts of you.

See how this column of light connects you to the earth,

Like roots going down into the soil.

And the rocks below to the heart of the earth.

You are part of this life,

This amazing interwoven life.

You are connected to all of this.

Feel that knowing in your toes,

Your leg bones,

Your spine.

And you are anchored and connected.

And your column of light is connected to the sky.

Feel up through your skull,

Above the clouds,

And into the starry magical cosmos.

You are part of the heavens,

The big source of love.

And you are connected to all of that.

Feeling that connection,

That belonging,

Your place.

Feeling yourself right here.

Feel into your relationship with the young adult in your life.

Breathe gently.

There's something about it.

That feels hard right now.

You're watching them struggle and suffer and make choices that are going to impact them.

You see them angry,

Reckless,

Scared,

Anxious,

Hopeless.

You see in them the frustration of adolescence and young adulthood.

And every fiber of your body wants to make their pain go away.

If only you could kiss their boo-boo and make a funny face and make it all go away.

If only you could get them to see a different perspective or trust the wisdom that you've gained through your years.

If only you could do something,

Anything to ease their pain and release yourself from the pain of watching their suffering.

But it does hurt.

So allow yourself to feel the pain of watching them suffer.

Breathe into your heart space.

Create space for that pain,

That hurt.

Breathe,

Open the doors wider.

It's okay.

And let the pain flow through.

Your emotions are messengers.

Let the pain and worry be in your heart.

You're okay.

Let them be there and listen.

What emotions are present?

What do these feelings have to tell you?

Listen.

Breathe and listen.

What words or images are coming forth for you right now?

What is your pain trying to show you?

Breathe gently.

And listen.

This is your knowing.

This is your own experience,

Your life,

Your way of being in the world.

It is beautiful.

You are beautiful.

And it is sacred.

You are sacred.

And in the same way,

Your young adult child has their own way of being in the world.

It is beautiful and sacred as well.

And when you're trying to take their pain away and make them feel better,

You might be judging their emotions or dismissing their emotions or asking them to disconnect from their own experience.

But you want them to have their life experiences.

You know that they will learn.

Learn how to feel their emotions by feeling them.

And learn how to navigate uncomfortable,

Difficult,

Overwhelming feelings by navigating them.

You want them to become familiar and comfortable to be with all that goes on in their hearts.

And you,

You will be beside them as they do.

You will be a safe,

Abiding presence.

You won't need to rescue or fix things or change their mood.

You won't need to absorb their feelings and make them yours.

You will be there,

Loving them as they are in their own experience,

Walking beside them,

Supporting them,

Not carrying them.

It's not through making them feel better or changing their experience that you connect with them.

You are already connected through your thousands of shared experiences,

Your DNA,

Your lineage.

Your souls were brought together through the power of love and goodness to live and love and learn together.

You don't need to fix anything.

You don't need to change anything.

You can both feel your unique feelings and have your unique responses.

Can you feel the truth of this?

Yes,

You face uncertainty.

You don't know how it's going to go,

How big their emotions might be,

How much messy it might get,

How long they might yell or cry or stuff them down and say nothing at all.

You don't know what's going to happen and it's awkward and unnerving.

And when you feel that very natural discomfort facing the unknown,

Lean into what you do know.

Your guides and gods and ancestors,

The natural world,

The angels,

The cycle of life,

The great heart.

Feel around you right now for support.

Something,

Someone,

Some energy you can trust.

What do you feel?

What's holding you up?

Allow yourself to receive this support.

How do you lean in?

What's your way of leaning in?

Lean in right now and receive.

Breathe,

Breathe into your column of light,

Dear one.

Breathe in the support.

Another breath,

Surrendering,

Surrendering to your guides,

Sweet dedicated parent.

Surrendering to the great mystery.

All is well and as it should be.

Breathing again now into your belly,

And then into your heart,

And then into your head.

Feeling within you,

You are how the earth touches the sky.

You are a miraculous luminescent being.

You are a radiant loving presence in your big kid's life.

All is well.

Allow that truth,

That peace,

To infuse your being.

All is well.

Take it in and allow it to register within you.

Take note of where it lands in you,

Where it inhabits your being.

A place that you can always return to.

Breathing gently.

When you're ready and there's no rush,

Go slowly,

Slowly.

I invite you to begin returning slowly,

Gently.

Take your time,

Maybe touch your fingertips together,

Just slowly,

Lightly.

Put your hand on your heart and give a warm rub.

Move your shoulders a bit,

Your neck.

And your hips.

Let your ears begin taking in any other sounds.

And open your eyes just a tiny crack to begin letting in the light.

Enjoy the peace of it as you bring yourself back into the room and open your eyes.

Then let your hands massage your face,

Starting from the chin up beside your nose to your forehead in a heart shape and around and down the sides of your face back to your chin.

And again.

Give yourself a big hug.

And step gently into the rest of your day.

Bright blessings to you,

Dear one.

Reviews

This was so powerful, thank you. I ugly cried, and I felt so much peace by the end. Your gentle voice and wisdom were exactly what I needed to hear.