Being In The Contradictions Of Parenthood
This is an inward breath to ground, be nourished, and be with all of who you are, all of what it means to hold within you all the inconsistencies and paradoxes of being a parent. Feel tension release in the presence of the elements of nature as new space opens up for the new possibility. May this bring you peace on your parenting journey.
Transcript
Welcome,
Dear parent,
You who have taken on the role of raising the next generation,
This sacred role of tossing seeds into the future.
You amazing parent who gives so much,
Puts so much love and effort out into the world.
This is a time just for you,
An inward breath to ground yourself,
To nourish yourself,
And remember what it is to be with all of who you are and all of what it means to hold within you the inconsistencies and paradoxes of being a parent.
This is a time for you.
Please begin with a few gentle breaths to bring yourself present,
To shift from your thinking self to your sensing self,
Taking a moment to notice the rate of your breath,
Its depth and its sound.
And then bring your awareness to your body from the neck down and what you can feel there,
The sensation,
Temperature,
Texture.
There's no need to change anything,
Just noticing,
Noticing any pressure,
Noticing clothing,
Hugging your body,
Noticing the furniture you're on,
Noticing where there's tightness or flow within you.
Allow your breaths to be long and gentle.
Lower your eyelids and surrender into the rhythm of you.
Thoughts that arise can simply be noticed and released to the earth or to a cloud.
Allow your breaths slow and gentle,
Sinking further inwards,
Inwards to your heart,
Another breath and another step towards spirit.
And as you move towards spirit,
Feeling spirit moving towards you.
From the east,
New spring energy comes towards you,
The spirit of early morning breeze,
New babies and new beginnings,
The smell of spring rain on the awakening ground,
Hope and promise coming towards you.
And from the south,
Feeling the warmth of the noonday sun,
The fruitfulness of summer,
The crackling campfire and sizzling barbecue,
Life swiftly transforming from bud to fruit to harvest,
Power and radiance of the south.
The invitation here is to sense the end,
Spring and summer,
Meltwater and full streams,
Inspiration and transformation.
Welcome it all.
Allow it to mix and mingle in you and around you.
Maybe a few breaths here,
Expanding cells,
Illuminating corners,
Creating space within you.
And now from the west,
Take in the flow of water and emotion and intuition as the day cools to evening,
Summer releases into autumn,
Drifting in as the stars come out,
Streams of knowing and loving flowing towards you.
And again,
Sense the end,
Fire and water,
Expansion and contraction.
Allow your breath to show you the open spaces within yourself,
Space for more,
Space for more truth.
And from the north,
Welcome the quiet time,
Winter gestation,
Integrating what we've learned,
Fasting before springing forth,
This time of grounding and connecting with the earth.
All of these energies come toward you to support you,
Dear one.
The love seeps into you through your breath,
Through your pores,
Morning and evening,
Earth and sky.
You are surrounded and held by the cycle of life.
You,
Dear parent,
You are the cycle of life,
The parent,
The one who sacrifices their sleep,
The one who carries their young until they can walk and walks beside them until they can run.
The one who through your children shoots arrows of love and goodness into the future.
And as parents,
We find ourselves at times engaged in thoughts or actions that seem to pull us in different directions,
Seem to contradict each other like fire and water.
We are giving our young adult children space to make their own mistakes and we are hurting them away from dangers.
We do both.
So taking a moment here,
What contradiction or dilemma is calling for your attention today?
Not because it's a flaw needing repair,
Only that it's something to notice in yourself,
Something to explore.
Sense inward to a topic or behavior that feels like it's either or for you.
Your choosing is difficult because neither of them feels quite right.
Breathe here.
Notice what answers are offered in your head.
Thank you very much.
And then let's go deeper.
Bitter into your heart asking and being willing to be surprised by what arises.
Two opposite poles.
Allow these two things to be placed in front of you.
Their different shapes,
Temperatures,
Textures,
The energies that envelop them and radiate from them.
How do they contradict and repel each other?
What subtle energies are you aware of in the space between them?
Listening,
Sensing.
Do they tug at you?
Is it a clenching or more like being led on a cord?
Do they demand or do they lure you?
And how do they each tug at you?
Are you stretched between them?
Bounced around,
Swung,
Dangled?
Notice the feeling of it.
Where do you sense it?
Is it in your back,
Your lungs,
Your belly?
Feel the pull.
And now I invite you to lean toward one of them.
What feels good about that?
Where do you feel it?
What feels uncomfortable?
Where do you feel that?
Just lean toward it.
And now,
Writing yourself and when you're ready,
Leaning toward the other one.
What feels yes?
What feels no?
Just noticing the sensations and impressions as you lean that way.
And after feeling that push and pull,
Settle again here with your breath in the center.
Breathing in and making space.
Breathing out,
Releasing any tension.
Keeping your balance through your breath.
And another breath and opening.
Opening to what else there may be here for you.
Receptive,
Curious.
And allow yourself to wonder what if it's not either or?
What if there's something new waiting to emerge here in this space?
Venture farther.
Settle into what might be possible.
What might it mean to hold both of these ways,
Both of these values or options,
Both of these truths?
In what ways might they combine,
Not so much as reaching a compromise but forging something new?
Earth,
Water,
Fire and air creating a new combination.
A new wave in this new space.
Earth,
Water,
Fire and air creating a new combination.
Beautiful.
What if it's not about striving for perfect balance in the way you're parenting?
What if it's about making space?
Inhale more space.
We are worrying about their futures and we are full of faith in them and the life that they are creating.
Inhale.
We are irritable and impatient and we are approachable and trustworthy.
Exhale.
Inhale more space.
We are pushing them away and we are holding them close,
Soothing their doubts and letting them rest in our love.
Exhale.
Inhale.
We are connected to them and we are separate from them.
Exhale.
Spring and autumn,
Moving and resting.
Combined together.
You are light and love,
Every fiber of your being.
There is room,
So much room for all of who you are and all of what you're feeling.
There is room for all your doubts and contradictions.
You are a parent.
You are made for this beautiful,
Messy,
Sacred work.
You are love shining forward into the future in your own way,
A way that's wise and honest.
Sense that knowing of yourself as a parent in your heart and in your belly.
And allow yourself to register right in your cells and bones the support and inspiration and love you have received in this meditation,
In these days and weeks and in the days and weeks and years to come.
Support,
Inspiration,
And love for you,
Dear parent.
Slowly and gently let your senses begin to turn outward again.
Begin by sensing your physical body,
Perhaps the soles of your feet or the ridges of your fingertips.
The rise and fall of your chest,
Your organs and bones.
Take your time here.
When you are ready,
Open your eyes bit by bit and take in your immediate surroundings,
Your hands,
Your clothing.
Touch your arms or legs.
Feel your face.
Run your fingers through your hair.
Wiggle your toes.
Take in a little more of your surroundings,
The light and the dark,
The wet and the dry,
Green and the red.
Smile at the coexistence of it all.
And then,
Dear parent,
Step lightly into the rest of your day.
Enjoy blessings.
