So,
My friend and colleague Lish and I are guiding you through what are known as the Ten Paramis and these are characteristics that we develop in our daily life,
Qualities that are within that we access and express in the world and in relationship.
And,
I guess,
Just to say that it's not like I've arrived at a different state of being,
You know,
Based on these Paramis.
We're developing these qualities within us.
It's ongoing and it's kind of like a wholesome inclination of the mind,
You know.
We started last week with generosity and ethics,
You know,
Accessing our goodness and bringing it forward in our action.
And today is the Parami that has been central to my path of practice and perhaps yours.
It is the perfection of renunciation and,
You know,
It's not very popular that framing renunciation.
You know,
Our entire culture is actually about acquisition,
Not renunciation.
And,
On some level,
People are put off by the concept of renunciation because the belief is that we have to let go of things that maybe we don't want to let go of.
That somehow letting go gets mixed up with becoming less of a person,
Less equal to everybody else on the planet.
A similar word that people associate with renunciation is sacrifice.
You know,
In sacrifice,
It can be painful giving up something that we don't want to give up.
It's often seen as kind of a misfortune to have to sacrifice something.
But,
In Latin,
Sacrifice means to make sacred,
To make sacred.
So that's something to consider,
Right?
The way that renunciation is described in the ancient Buddhist text is that it has more to do with what is gained than what is lost.
And of course,
There's a certain amount of letting go in renunciation.
You know,
In my internal experience,
Working with habit patterns and beliefs about myself,
You know,
It's not so much letting go as it is letting be.
You know,
These parts,
These parts of ourselves,
You know,
Renunciation,
It's not pushing away.
It's not pushing away.
That's aversion.
It's like what we're letting go into is the truth of our experience.
That's more what renunciation is pointing to.
We're letting go into,
Like,
We're stepping into something else.
You know,
We're stepping into,
Maybe stepping away from a habit pattern and stepping into something else.
Mainly,
We're stepping away from the story about that thing.
Renunciation is a kind of going forward in a different direction to leave the confines of patterns and beliefs and fixed views that were established in early childhood for many of us.
But those views,
Those patterns,
They limit us now.
Like,
If we want to be truly free,
I feel like renouncing something is more like making an announcement,
You know?
It's like,
This is how it was,
And now it's not that.
And then we're moving into something beautiful and opening.
This is the idea of renunciation.
It's deeply internal.
It's related to letting go,
But from this perspective of what we're letting go into,
You know,
I have patterns that I've had for 50 years.
They're such limiting beliefs.
And I see them clearly most of the time.
And I choose,
I choose to let go in another direction every time I see them.
Towards something sacred,
Something beautiful.
We're letting go of these painful movements of the mind,
Painful movements that are so deeply ingrained in the heart that keeps us,
These patterns,
They keep us from what's sacred.
They keep us from what is best in us.
Keep us from peace,
Keep us from happiness.
And what we're letting go into as we let them be,
As we put them down,
Is these beautiful qualities within ourselves.
These parmis,
These ten perfections.
This is the intention.
And there is a degree of satisfaction that we experience,
A kind of rightness in the practice of letting go.
Last week,
Last week,
I had a friend and a contractor who was working in our house and he was reaching for a paper towel on the counter in the kitchen and he didn't see that my favorite cup was next to the paper towel holder.
And he knocked it over and it broke.
And I've been using this cup for 10 years.
The man who made the cup was a young man and he died in a car accident.
And my husband knew him well.
I didn't,
I love the cup.
You know,
I love that cup.
And when that happened,
I immediately remembered the story that Ajahn Chah,
The Thai forest teacher,
To many of my teachers,
He told to his students,
He actually had a cup from the Ming dynasty and he said,
You know,
He held it up and he said,
I love this cup and I use it every day.
And what he said is he sees the cup as already broken.
So when things are already broken,
We can let them go much more easily.
So I remembered this teaching with my broken cup.
But I was sad and I didn't need to say anything about it to my friend,
This contractor.
There was a degree of rightness that,
Oh yeah,
The cup has always already been broken.
So we can experience this satisfaction,
You know,
Of letting go.
Sometimes we have to let go for the sake of other people,
The sake of our children.
You know,
If we have a kid that's sick or a friend who is ill and we,
We let go of our plans for the day in order to take them to the emergency room or the doctor,
We let go of ourselves,
Our plans.
And maybe it's unfortunate,
But it feels so right to care for our friend,
Our child.
It's the right place to be.
So renunciation,
It's not obligatory.
It's actually inspired by generosity.
Generosity informs letting go,
Seeing that there's value to,
To giving up something.
It's the same with kind of the restraint involved in sila and the ethical conduct that we also looked at last week.
When we act from our goodness,
That our ethical behavior doesn't cause harm,
It really frees up our integrity,
You know,
By restraining ourselves in our conduct,
We gain something in the process.
So this is an inward movement,
Renunciation,
Renunciation of those things in the mind where the,
The heart and mind are holding on.
The things in the mind that the heart has valued,
But has valued for from the standpoint of a habit pattern,
You know,
They may hinder our freedom.
So that's the movement of,
Of,
Of letting go.
What we do here,
You know,
Is really the,
The courage of the Buddha to keep focusing on what ends suffering and what brings happiness.
This is the ultimate concern.
And our life begins to move on a different track when we navigate in this way.
And when we get to really experience and see our patterns,
We're letting go of certain patterns or behaviors and letting go into,
Letting go into our goodness,
Into our beauty,
The willingness to no longer lead a life that is prompted and driven by fears and stories and our fragile,
Our fragile sense of self,
You know.
To renounce these things and to let go into our beauty is truly an act of courage,
It truly is.
I'll close with a poem that I really love by Mary Oliver.
She writes,
I worried a lot.
Will the garden grow?
Will the rivers flow in the right direction?
Will the earth turn as it was taught?
And if not,
How shall I correct it?
Was I right?
Was I wrong?
Will I be forgiven?
Can I do better?
Will I ever be able to sing?
Even the sparrows can do it and I am,
Well,
Hopeless.
Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it?
Am I going to get rheumatism,
Lockjaw,
Dementia?
Finally,
Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing and gave it up and took my old body and went outside into the morning and sang.
