There was so much that Lily brought in her reflection on the teaching of non-self.
It was wonderful and my intention is that by the end of this month,
We will have a clear understanding and perhaps a direct experience of these teachings of non-self.
I think it's important for me to say that my direct experience with anatta,
Non-self awareness is as a mindfulness practice.
I like maybe some of you get it,
Like get it intellectually.
It's good fodder for conversation.
I personally love exploring the ego and non-duality.
You know,
These are topics that are interesting and I can usually find one person at a party who will kind of go into the dark with me on this.
But in direct experience,
In daily life,
It's remembering.
Not self equals not personal.
And that's a pithy way of saying it.
But what really landed for me in Lily's reflection is how not self is the path.
In my direct experience,
That feels very true.
You know,
Over these years of practice,
The solid I,
Me,
Mine,
That identity of Lisa has really thinned.
It's thinned out the thinning of our identity,
The thinning of egoic clinging,
The thinning of views,
The thinning of opinions,
The observation of perspectives that arise without having to put it forward as the right perspective.
What happens more often is what the teacher Joseph Goldstein coined,
Empty phenomena rolling on.
Empty phenomena rolling on.
Empty.
Emptiness.
In Zen,
The concept of emptiness,
It doesn't imply void,
But rather the interconnection and the interdependence of all things.
Emptiness suggests that the boundaries we perceive between self and other,
Subject and object,
Are ultimately an illusion.
One of the ways that I experience this directly,
I get to see this illusion fall away regularly is in practice discussion.
You know,
We have these practice discussions periodically in our group,
And particularly in this last fall retreat that we had,
You know,
Every person who comes to practice discussion is a mirror without,
Like,
Without any distinction.
It's just,
We're all mirrors for each other.
I get to see myself in every person that comes to practice discussion.
Sure,
The content of our life,
You know,
It's different,
But we're the same,
The same mind.
It is so beautiful and affirming in these teachings of Anatta.
It's really beautiful.
So just to stay with this one teaching that not self is the path,
I just love this,
To really understand this directly,
I think it's helpful to look at how the self is constructed.
So we have to look at the scaffolding and understand what is the ego?
You know,
In psychology,
The ego refers to the way that we function,
You know,
A healthy ego allows us to navigate life,
To set appropriate boundaries and to relate to other people.
And we need a healthy self image,
You know,
Just to get dressed every day and take care of our families or ourselves to make decisions and act responsibly in the world.
And a healthy ego is expressed through adaptability,
Resilience,
And caring.
That's the expression.
So that's in the psychological context.
And Buddhism isn't denying the need for this.
A healthy ego in the Buddhist sense would be a really flexible identity.
The Buddha taught that what we call ego or self is not fixed,
Not permanent.
It's a mental construct.
In Buddhism,
The term ego usually points to the habit of identifying with experience,
Identifying with views or roles that we take on as who we truly are.
And when we cling to these views and these identities as me,
As mine,
Guess what happens?
Suffering,
Suffering arises.
The ego clings to views for its identity.
And fixed views,
The more fixed the views,
Strengthen the illusion of a fixed and permanent self.
And how this is experienced in daily life is the way that we get defensive when our views are challenged.
Like,
Check it out.
Defensiveness can show up in all kinds of ways,
You know,
It can show up as anger and fear and pride and righteousness.
And when my strong views are operating,
What is in the forefront of the mind is the sense of self,
This permanent self,
Versus other.
Separation just happens.
When I'm clinging to my views,
It actually strengthens dualistic thinking,
Which completely obstructs wisdom in the moment.
So as we begin to really see how we've constructed our sense of self,
You know,
My understanding of the spiritual path is that it involves deconstructing and reconstructing how we experience the world,
Including this sense of self.
So how we are holding our opinions,
Our views,
Our possessions,
Our emotions.
What I,
Me,
And mine am I defending?
Like,
Check that out.
There's an important teaching from years ago,
And it's not in the,
It's in the Hindu tradition,
Not the Buddhist tradition.
It's by the Indian sage Nisargadatta,
Who said,
When I look inside and see that I am nothing,
That is wisdom.
When I look outside and see that I am everything,
That is love.
Between these two,
My life flows.
Between these two,
My life flows.
Our basic delusion of separation,
Like the sense that there is an I that is inside and the world is outside,
Is probably the most fundamental problematic duality that there is.
It's the cause of most of our suffering.
So,
As we continue this exploration for this month into not self as the path,
I find it helpful to remember that the freedom of self and no self is seen as part of this ever-present expansion and contraction.
Self and no self appear and disappear all the time.
You know,
We have a self that we use to stay oriented in the world,
Like we know our zip code,
We know our phone number,
And we can hold to an experience that we are also part of this mystery of human incarnation,
Right?
Pure consciousness.
So we can experience that and continue to drive on the right side of the road and pay our taxes.
Both of these things are happening.
And what Buddhism points to is that our nature is temporary.
It's fleeting and changing,
Which means we are in constant physical and mental process.
We are a human process.
And when we experience non-duality with those processes,
The past is not something that falls away and the future is not something that's coming.
We're just living in what has been called the eternal present.
So I'll stop here today.
Please take what you find is useful and I invite you to stay curious.
Perhaps start paying attention to the way in which you have constructed the world with your views and ideas.
And remember,
Remember that compassion softens the ego's hard boundaries,
Connecting us with what is beyond me and mine.
