So this is from the poet philosopher David White.
Lonely human beings are lonely because they are made to belong.
Loneliness is a single malt taste of the very essentiality that makes conscious belonging possible.
The doorway is closer than we think.
I am alone,
Therefore I belong.
I think this is worth reading again.
Lonely human beings are lonely because they are made to belong.
Loneliness is a single malt taste of the very essentiality that makes conscious belonging possible.
The doorway is closer than we think.
I am alone,
Therefore I belong.
So on Tuesday I brought to the group something that I had read which was the Surgeon General who was presenting at the Ideas Festival here in Aspen said that the epidemic of our country,
One in two people experiencing this epidemic of loneliness is happening.
And they wrote an 85 page report on this epidemic of loneliness.
And so I really want to address it from the perspective of our practice,
Of Buddhist practice.
Solitude is embedded in Buddhism.
It's actually part of the tradition.
After all,
The practice is yours alone.
No one sits on the cushion for you.
No one gives you the answers.
No one faces your past or makes your choices for you.
It's not always easy,
But if what we really want is deep understanding,
We have to go there into our own struggles alone.
No one can reveal my heart to myself,
But myself.
No one's going to fix me,
But me.
So in this crucial way,
We're alone.
You know,
Only I could make my vows.
Only I knew what was in my heart.
And alone at times in practice was a relief.
And alone could be painful.
But alone is where I had to find myself,
Had to find my way.
And alone is where all of us will find our way.
And in some ways,
Just reflecting on my own path,
I had to begin with my loneliness,
My separation from others.
I was anxious in relationships,
Always a little bit guarded.
I was taught not to trust people.
In some way,
People were dangerous and wanting something from me.
So when I was alone in practice,
It was kind of a relief.
You know,
Meditation practice was a way to avoid conversation.
I couldn't say the wrong thing when I was alone.
I didn't have to worry about rejection or whether I was good enough.
When I was alone,
I relaxed in a way I never did with other people.
So part of my own practice,
My own exploration,
Was to ask myself,
Well,
Why other people seem so necessary and at the same time so dangerous to be around?
Loneliness is the feeling that we're not complete if we're alone.
We're not complete if we're alone,
You know?
So in practice,
I cultivated being just simply alone and curious about these questions of,
Okay,
Why are people dangerous?
And curious about,
Well,
What if it turns out that I am complete,
That nothing is missing at all?
Discovering that I can be aware of myself as whole and missing nothing.
So alone and relaxed.
Part of the struggle of knowing this,
That nothing is missing,
Is it's the same struggle that all of us are having.
You know,
Getting to that place.
Our true struggle is the same,
To find our way to oneness,
To non-separation.
I was taught early on that Sangha community is one of the three treasures of this Buddhist path.
You know,
The monastic community,
Even though they practice alone for,
And this is hundreds of years in their own body,
In their own mind,
They're still practicing as community.
They lived in community,
Worked in community,
Ate in community,
Argued in community,
Slept in community,
Were able to survive because of community.
Even going out for their alms round with their begging bowls to get food,
That's a reliance on community.
So maybe you struggle with loneliness,
And the encouragement is to look again,
To see that loneliness may be a false view.
Loneliness is a sense of being separated and cut off from others,
And this is not truly possible.
We're entangled.
We're shared.
So feeling lonesome is different than our aloneness.
Many of us are lonesome,
Obvious,
Like the Surgeon General said,
One out of two people are lonesome now.
And as David White is pointing to,
This is only noticing that you need others,
That you miss their presence.
I want to read something from his book,
Consolations.
Again,
David White.
To allow ourselves to feel fully alone is to allow ourselves to understand the particular nature of our solitary incarnation.
To make aloneness a friend is to apprentice ourselves to the foundation from which we make our invitation to others.
To feel alone is to face the truth of our irredeemable and unutterable singularity,
But a singularity that can kiss,
Create a conversation,
Make a vow or forge a shared life.
In the world or community,
This essential singularity joins with others through vision,
Intellect and ideas to make a society.
There's a lot of both and in that reading.
So I'll stop here and we can explore this topic together.
And getting to nothing is missing.
Getting to our entanglement with each other,
Regardless of our feelings of loneliness.
Thank you for your kind attention,
Your consideration.
