Let's Talk About Death_3

We have been practicing mindfulness of death. Traditionally this is called Maranasati and it’s located in the Satipatthana Sutta in the ancient text. So there are many benefits to practicing mindfulness of death. When we reflect on death regularly there may be a deeper appreciation for every aspect of life. And paradoxically keeping death close, recognizing that it is always sitting on our shoulders, lessens the anxiety that death can come at any time.

Trigger Warning: This practice includes references to death, dying, and the departed.

Transcript

So we have been exploring the practice of mindfulness of death and I just want to to point out that some honest self-assessment about how this lands for you is important.

Like how does it land in the body to talk about death?

Where do you feel it?

Traditionally this practice is called the Marana Sati and if you're interested in a deeper exploration it's located in the Satipatthana Sutta and that's in the ancient text,

The middle length discourses.

And there are many benefits to practicing mindfulness of death.

For me when I reflect on death regularly I have a deeper appreciation for every aspect of my life and paradoxically keeping death close,

Recognizing that it's always just sitting on my left shoulder,

It lessens the anxiety that death can come at any time.

It's certain and the time of my death,

The location,

How it happens,

All that is uncertain.

So what I have,

The only bit of control is how I meet it.

And I'd like to meet it like Mary Oliver's poem,

You know,

Where she writes,

When it's over I want to say that all my life I was a bride married to amazement.

I was a bridegroom taking the world into my arms.

Yes please,

That sounds great,

Right?

That sounds great.

But what if it doesn't go down that way?

What if it doesn't go down that way?

Roshi Joan Halifax talks about what she calls fictions that hinder.

So what that looks like is we sit down with a loving family member or a good friend and now we have access to death doulas and you know we can kind of map out our good death,

How we want it to happen,

The music,

The people,

You know,

Who we want in the room,

The drugs or the lack of drugs,

Like all of it we can map it.

And what Halifax says in her books,

She has a book called Being with Dying.

And she writes that the concept of a good death can put unbearable pressure on dying people and caregivers and can take away from death's mystery and the richness of knowing.

Just a moment I need to ask that person to mute themselves please.

Thank you.

So again she writes that the concept of a good death can put unbearable pressure on dying people and caregivers and can take away from death's mystery and the richness of knowing.

Our expectations on how we should die or how someone else should die gives rise to subtle or direct coerciveness and no one wants to be judged for how well she dies.

So the expectation,

Another term that can set out an unintended like negative trajectory is the idea of death with dignity.

I've sat with many many people who were dying and it's not always dignified.

So the stories that we tell of a good death or a dying with dignity it can be a misguided fabrication that are attempting to protect us from something that's really raw and unknown.

It's our practice of not knowing,

The perspective that just opening,

Keep opening,

That's deeper than the story,

Deeper than the expectation,

Deeper than our wishes and our personality.

Just opening,

Just opening.

Last week I left I left you with the encouragement to really start to look at your notions,

The unconscious conditioning you have about living and dying and the question that I asked you to reflect on is what is your notion about a complete life,

A fulfilling life.

You know is a complete life longevity?

Is a complete life having as many peak experiences as possible?

Is a complete life living with less anxiety?

Like what is it for you?

To bring the question is to bring into light the notions that you have about living and dying,

Not with judgment.

I want to be very clear about that.

These notions aren't to be like criticized as wrong,

They're just important to see.

So in monastic communities primarily in Southeast Asia,

Mindfulness of death is a very common practice and sometimes monastics they'll sit in the charnel grounds,

In the grounds where there's lots of dead bodies waiting to be burned,

Meditating for days,

You know as bodies around them are burning.

And in some monasteries they actually have human skeletons on display in the meditation hall.

So as we explore we're going to do a practice on mindfulness of death and I just want to point out that some again this honest assessment about your readiness for this practice is useful.

So for many people thinking and talking about death evokes a range of uncomfortable feelings.

So I'd like you to check in with how your body feels.

Sometimes what can happen is you just feel a little tightness in your chest or belly or the ego sort of checks out you know because the ego has no interest in dying so you might find yourself spacing out on you know what's for breakfast or what's happening later today.

It's okay.

Sometimes people experience anxiety or there's a fear or despair even terror.

So the invitation is that if this isn't helpful to reflect on for you today then by all means don't do it.

You can just drop off the call now.

You can listen to it later when you feel more resourced.

And this guided meditation that I'll be offering is adapted from a meditation on dying by Stephen Levine who is no longer with us but wrote this really powerful book called A Year to Live and he's done most of his work has been on death and dying when he was alive.

Phenomenal teacher.

So I'm going to ask you to collect yourself again.

Collect yourself again.

Close your eyes and bring your attention inward on the level of sensation.

Noticing the sensation in your chest and belly and relaxing.

Feel the body relaxing.

If you need to adjust for relaxation to occur by all means adjust.

And begin by feeling the solidity of the body.

Feel the weight and how gravity pulls on on the substance of the body.

Receive the quality of solidity.

Feel the weight of the head resting on your neck.

The long bones of the shoulders supporting the weight of your arms.

Feel your heavy hands.

Feel the earthen quality of the body.

The density.

The breath.

The pull of gravity as the buttocks is drawn into the cushion or the chair.

The feet pressing against the floor.

Noticing gravity's action on the body.

The pull.

And tuning into sensation.

The pulsing,

Tingling,

Heat or cold.

Soft or hard.

Explore this container for the life force.

Where do you experience the life force?

And exploring it arising and passing.

Within this heavy body of awareness is a light body.

Which is experienced as hearing.

As seeing.

Touching and smell.

Tasting.

The light body is often received through the outer body.

So feel the body of awareness,

This inner body.

And the light body perfectly nestled within the heavy form.

Receiving experience.

Sensing the lighter body.

The body of awareness that experiences all that enters the senses.

Recognizing sound as hearing.

Experiencing images as seeing.

The light body knows it's alive.

And observe how each breath drawn in through the nostrils.

As it comes in the heavy body,

It's experienced as sensation.

By the light body.

Noticing how the breath connects the heavy body.

The density that you feel with the light body.

The sensation of breathing in.

The tingling.

Experiencing each breath.

And take each breath as though it were the last.

Experience each inhalation as though it were never to be followed by another.

Each breath the last.

Let the breath come.

Let the breath go.

The last breath of life leaving the heavy body behind.

Each breath ending.

The connection severed between the heavy body and the light body.

The end of a lifetime.

The final breath.

Let go.

Don't hold on to it.

Let each breath go finally and forever.

Don't attach to the next breath.

As the last breath leaves,

Go with it.

Don't hold on.

Let yourself die.

Let the light body float free now.

Gently let it all go.

Leave the body behind and follow the light into luminous space.

Each breath vanishing.

Each thought dissolving into space.

Don't hold on.

Open to the wonder.

Let yourself die.

Nothing to hold on to.

That is all past.

Die gently into this moment.

Holding on to nothing.

Let go of your name,

Your face,

Your reputation.

Float free into the vastness.

Light dissolving into light.

Let go of your knowing.

Let go of your not knowing.

All that comes to mind is old.

Any thought that comes is old thought.

Nothing to hold on to.

Just the simple fact of dying and the fact of the clear light.

Just the light entering the light.

Space within space.

No inside,

No outside.

Dissolve into it.

Floating free.

Free of the body.

Free of the mind.

And from across vast space,

Notice now something gently approaches.

It is the first breath of life.

Watch the breath approaching as if it were from far away.

Experiencing it entering the body.

Each breath the first.

Each inhalation the first breath of life,

Completely new.

Each breath bringing us back into the body,

Taking birth once again.

Born back into the body.

Taking birth again to serve,

To be served,

To learn,

To teach,

To care and be cared for.

Awareness once again entering the body as consciousness.

Birth,

Born again into the body,

Born again to bring mercy and healing to the injured world.

May all beings coming and going know the peace of their own great nature.

May all beings be free of suffering.

Let your eyes gently open.

Look around.

Here you are.