Know The Self, Let Go Of The Self -2

The Buddha neither affirmed nor denied the existence of a self. He did talk about the process by which the mind creates many senses of self—what he called “I-making” and “my-making.”
The focus was on the karma of selfing. Because clinging, holding on, lies at the heart of our suffering, and because there’s clinging to my views, my perceptions, my opinions; he advised us to use the perception of not-self as a strategy to dismantle that clinging.

Transcript

So we are exploring the teachings of non-self,

Not to be confused with no-self.

The Buddha never expressed a view on if there is or isn't a self.

So the teachings we've been exploring,

What we're mindful of is the way in which we construct a self.

And in the last talk I was sharing a little bit about how we become aware of selfing,

All the ways in which we construct a self or we assert ourselves and defend ourselves and attach ideas to this is my self,

This is my view,

Acquiring ideas of self.

It's almost like we wake up in the morning and we put on our coat of self with all our ideas and views and perceptions.

And for some of us there's many many layers of coats that we're wearing,

All the different selves that we're presenting.

So often what happens is we've had some experience in our life where we've either hurt someone or we've made a mistake and that becomes the coat that we wear.

That's now I am this terrible person.

And that one event then becomes this heavy coat and we apply it everywhere.

We wear it everywhere.

We go around with this idea that I'm this terrible person.

Or maybe,

Maybe we were raised with a lot of self-esteem and we're told how great we are.

And so then we put on this coat of look how good I am.

And then we end up as an adult in situations,

You know,

Often at work in a work environment or at school where there's something that's difficult for us and we fail and we do poorly and then that challenges this idea of a self that's great,

This high self-esteem.

Suddenly,

You know,

Who we thought we were turns out that maybe we're not that way at all.

So these are,

You know,

Some of the coats that we put on and they're heavy and they're hard to take off.

So we have this this idea of selfing and we have all of these ways in which we attach to to me,

Myself and mine.

And in the teachings of the Buddha,

The idea of self,

Any kind of idea of self is seen as a concept.

The Pali word for that is sanya.

And it usually translate translates into English as perception.

But the word sanya apply like it implies not just the sensory perception,

But also there is a label,

An idea,

A concept of what that is.

And sometimes it's accurate and sometimes it's not.

So for example,

You know,

Maybe we're out hiking on a trail and all of a sudden you come across a root poking out of the ground.

And it's kind of curved like a snake.

And at first the perception,

The first seeing of it is as a snake.

Now the mind has made this concept of a snake.

So this idea and all along it's just a stick in the ground.

So the idea,

This conceptualization,

This projection,

We put all of that on to what is just a root in the ground.

And that's just kind of a pithy idea or pithy example.

But what we perceive innocently or not even innocently,

You know,

Everything is through these filters of ideas and projections.

And it's helpful to remember this.

We project self onto things,

Onto ourselves,

Onto other people.

You can see this a little if you go to a dinner party and it's time to go sit down at the dinner table and you take a seat and then maybe you excuse yourself to use the bathroom and you come back maybe three minutes later and then there's somebody in your seat.

And there are other chairs around and you hadn't touched the plate or anything on the seat.

You hadn't used anything.

But something happens and you are clear that this was your seat and that person is in your seat.

And there might be a little bit of anger or self-righteousness or possessiveness.

Wait a minute,

Like that's my chair.

And maybe you go over and you tell that person,

Excuse me,

But this is my chair,

This is my seat.

But before you even entered the house,

The chair was not your chair,

You know.

But somehow the mind makes it into mine.

Our minds make it into mine in that very,

Very simple way.

And that making is a projection.

What's interesting is if someone hadn't taken the chair and you sat there for some time and then you left and some weeks later you came back to the house and the person that owns the house says,

Well,

Which one was your chair?

You might be like,

I don't know.

I don't really even care.

So these are just the ideas of and the illustration of projection.

You know,

We project onto ourselves,

You know,

Some profession that we were doing for our life,

Some role,

Some idea,

Or a kind of person that we aspire toward.

And again,

These teachings of the Buddha is that the idea of self is a projection.

And what it tends to do is it limits us.

It can be a magnet for all kinds of suffering,

All kinds of stress.

We glom onto and associate with what a good self looks like and a bad self looks like.

And then it gets even more complicated as other selves,

Other forms,

Other people enter into our world and then our projections get heightened.

With a comparing mind,

We can become an inadequate self,

You know,

And then more and more layers enter in.

You know,

We can project that we're supposed to have certain attributes at this age,

You know,

That's a projection,

Certain accomplishments.

And these projections are deeply internalized.

You know,

And when people say things around us,

Or they treat us in a particular way,

Then those projections,

How they perceive us is also being acquired and internalized.

So in the spirit of these teachings,

What's so important to remember,

And to,

I guess,

To discover is,

You know,

It doesn't matter,

Like,

It's important to see what are the ideas,

The projections that I've called myself?

What is the activity of my mind that has created a self?

And this is where meditation becomes really important.

Because when we meditate,

We get calmer and quieter.

And we start to see this activity of the building up of the self.

More and more,

We see our thoughts,

And we see our ideas and our judgments.

And how we latch on to our ideas and our judgments,

Or how we push things away.

So a lot of what we work with in starting to see the activity of the mind that projects and creates ideas and concepts,

Is we start to see how we create this identity of ourselves.

And you know,

It's so subtle.

We don't see selfing.

If you have a full and busy life,

We don't see it so often.

We just are kind of moving through with it as our companion.

And again,

There's nothing inherently wrong with the creation and the concept of self.

It's in how we identify and hold it.

But when our minds get quiet enough,

And we start to see more clearly,

You can start to see the movements of the mind,

And how views are born,

And how they appear,

And how they go away.

And to be able to watch the projections and the ideas and the concepts of self kind of appearing out of nothing.

Like,

You can start to maybe even ask,

Where did this come from?

And is this true?

That thought of who I am,

If I don't use that thought,

Then who am I?

So again,

The seeing through these projections of self,

And seeing them clearly,

We start to see some of them are useful.

Some of them are useful coats that we put on for circumstances.

And some of them are more provisional,

You know,

Seeing them as being kind of contextual.

Seeing them as something that we have a choice.

We have a choice of what we're putting on and taking off.

That's part of the the freedom of this Buddhist path.

And also part of the freedom of this path is that we can put them down completely.

So projections of self.

I think it's a good topic of exploration.

My projection of all of you is that you're all pretty wonderful.

You know,

I,

As a facilitator and teacher of this practice,

I get to meet a lot of people in all kinds of ways.

And it's wonderful when you can discover for yourself that you can put down and take off some of the projections and some of the coats that you know,

Have been overlaid on top of your,

Your wonderful nature.

And I've,

I've seen that in this group,

And I thank you for it.

And I thank you for your kind attention.

Reviews

A little more confusing

Thank you for this thoughtful talk 🌟

i loved this talk. victim mentality is the part of me that sneaks up. using the chair analogy i’d think, how can this person not know this is my seat? why didn’t anyone else speak up and say that’s alice’s seat? 🙃🙃🙃

I enjoyed this 💜