So as many of you know,
I've been on retreat.
And this is the second week.
And I've been kind of dropping in and out of the practice periods while still being in my life with my family life and teaching life,
Grocery shopping and gardening.
And stepping into and out of that sort of liminal space of practice has been so incredibly rewarding to organize my life around these practice periods where I just stop and I sit throughout the day.
And something that I was reflecting on,
The first Dharma talk of this retreat,
My teacher Gil Franzdal talked a little bit about humility.
And he didn't really expand on it,
But he mentioned it as a way of practicing.
So this week I want to explore this with you because it's not something that's often spoken about in this Buddhist meditation practice,
Being humble.
You know,
It doesn't get talked about much and so I was kind of surprised that Gil mentioned it.
And then,
You know,
I haven't seen really any teachings on humility.
But in the cultures of Buddhism,
I'm thinking particularly in the Thai forest tradition,
Burma,
Vietnam,
Japan,
I think it's fairly safe to say that in Buddhist culture,
Humility is held up strongly.
In one of the most famous discourses of the Buddha,
The Metta Sutta,
His discourse on loving kindness,
It begins this way.
One skilled in the good should be capable and upright,
Straightforward and easy to speak to,
Gentle and not proud,
Contented and easily supported,
Living with few duties,
Wise and calm,
Not arrogant,
And without greed for supporters,
And should not do the least thing that the wise would criticize.
So this beginning really illustrates ethics.
How do we have ethical nature?
How do we cultivate the character of someone who would conventionally be called humble?
Because you can hear humility in that Sutta.
You know,
They're easy to speak to.
I think that this means,
In my perception,
That they're open to feedback.
Open to feedback.
Gentle and not proud.
You know,
Humility is often associated with being gentle,
Not arrogant,
And without greed for supporters,
Not trying to get something from someone else.
So there's a deep sufficiency.
And these are qualities we identify as being humble,
And they're held up in just this one Sutta.
But the word humility,
It isn't used,
And that's sort of interesting to me.
You know,
The Western idea of being humble is said to be virtuous.
You know,
Humble people don't draw attention to themselves.
If someone says,
I'm humble,
It's kind of odd because it's sort of like tooting your own horn in identity,
Right?
There's something in humility that is actually linked to the teachings of not-self.
And in considering this,
You know,
The opposite of humble is being uncomfortable.
Not uncomfortable for you,
But uncomfortable for others,
Because the opposite would be arrogance,
Or a sense of superiority over other people,
Or a need for attention,
Or a sense of entitlement,
Somehow seeking approval and recognition or taking credit.
So for us who do awareness practice,
There's a heightened sensitivity,
I believe,
To the cost of how we behave.
It becomes clear that there's a cost to taking on the opposite of humility,
That arrogance and entitlement are experienced as these contracted states.
They're tight,
And they hurt in some way.
You have to feel your way into that,
How that may work for you.
But even if there's some kind of joy in receiving all the credit,
You know,
When you really pay attention carefully,
There's something underneath,
Some uncomfortable suffering that lives under this sort of superficial joy.
I know some people that can actually come out and say that they're being arrogant.
Like,
I'm one of them.
And it's a relief,
You know,
To hear.
It's like knowing that they've made the arrogance,
And they're trying to name it.
And what that message is for me is,
You know,
I'm working on this.
This is part of my practice.
I have arrogance.
And I can see the beauty in that,
That clear recognition of this particular mind state.
So when there's clear recognition,
The felt sense is that the arrogance is not imposing itself.
It's just a habit pattern and a struggle to evolve.
So how is it when we see other people being humble?
You know,
Sometimes it's very inspiring.
Sometimes it can evoke a comparing mind.
I think sometimes we can even see humble people as groveling.
We may see them as belittling themselves.
Like their humility is sort of a false humility.
You know,
Like,
Oh,
I'm worthless,
Or I'm a terrible person.
And so in a way,
They lower themselves and keep lowering themselves because of a very strong negative self-image.
You know,
Attitudes that are self-limiting.
Many people struggle with self-criticism and self-hatred.
They don't like themselves.
So they can kind of beat themselves down and limit what's possible.
I like to think that healthy humility,
It doesn't limit us.
It actually frees us.
It allows for possibility and flow and receptivity.
And ultimately,
Letting go.
Sometimes humility can be a form of self-protection.
You know,
As a way of lowering expectations.
So that,
You know,
I can say,
Oh,
I'm not so special.
I really don't know what I'm doing.
And then I'm not accountable,
Right?
Then there's no accountability when things go poorly.
So it can be a way of sort of bowing out and protecting ourselves.
Another way people try to be humble is so that they can be holy.
You know,
There's a strong association with humility,
Humbleness and being a spiritual person.
To walk around,
You know,
Sort of being nobody.
It's an aspiration,
Right?
So there's a joke I heard in these Buddhist circles.
Two Buddhist teachers were hanging out in the temple.
And one of them said,
I realized that I'm nobody.
I'm nothing.
And the other one says,
Yes,
Me too.
I've seen through the attachment of self.
And I've seen through all self-identity and I am nobody.
And then a junior monk comes into the temple and says,
Me too.
I'm nobody.
And the first teacher says to the second teacher,
Look who thinks they're nobody.
So,
Yeah.
So I think I'll pause here today and open it up for reflection and discussion.
And we can pick this back up on Thursday.
Thank you for your consideration of this topic of humility,
Spiritual humility.
