Brahma Vihara: Metta

To close out the year we will explore what are known as the four immeasurables. They are loving-kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity. These four are called the Four Immeasurables because they are directed to an immeasurable number of beings, and because the wholesome karma produced through practicing them is immeasurable. Boundless.

Transcript

So,

To start our practice this morning I just want to speak in memory of the great Desmond Tutu who passed away on the 26th of December.

He was a great man.

I was reading a little bit about him and he said something that really spoke to me and speaks to this practice which is my humanity is bound up in yours for we can only be human together.

My humanity is bound up in yours for we can only be human together.

He did a lot of extraordinary work in the world and he was a joyful being and was influenced by his being the way he moved through the world.

My humanity is bound up in yours and we can only be human together.

So I'm happy to be sitting with you this last week of 2021 and I thought to close out this year we would explore what are known as the four immeasurables.

These are qualities that we cultivate and really have the potential to live into them.

They become where we dwell.

I think to some extent that Desmond Tutu dwelled in these four immeasurable states.

They are loving kindness,

Compassion,

Appreciative joy and equanimity.

And these four are called the four immeasurables because they are directed to an immeasurable number of beings.

Immeasurable.

Boundless and because the whole karma,

The wholesome karma produced through these practices is also immeasurable.

It's boundless.

The four are also called the Brahma Viharas in the Pali which translate as divine abodes.

So in the Buddhist mythology Brahma is a powerful god.

It refers to a supreme deity in the Buddhist pantheon of deities.

Some people are kind of surprised to learn that Buddhism has deities or gods.

They think of it more as an atheistic belief.

But Buddhism has lots of gods.

But what I find is that Buddhists just don't think that highly of them.

And Vihara,

Vihara means home,

Dwelling.

So these are the abodes of Brahma.

This is where you live in your god-like nature.

And these four Brahma Viharas are associated with strength.

To develop them we must become strong and courageous.

They're powerful aids at resolving conflict,

Promoting healing and creating social harmony.

Something again that is so strongly represented in the work of Desmond Tutu.

And so as strengths they contribute to confidence in all areas of our life.

In their simplest form the Brahma Viharas are attitudes experienced in really ordinary ways in everyday life.

Like seeing a small puppy can evoke loving kindness,

A feeling of appreciation and friendliness.

And if the puppy gets hurt we may feel compassion,

A sense of caring,

A sincere wish for the puppy not to suffer.

And if the puppy is frolicking around in the snow we may feel appreciative joy,

Delighting in the happiness of the dog.

And when the puppy is overeager to run after a squirrel and then gets deflated when the squirrel runs away we can feel the Brahma Vihara of equanimity.

We can see clearly love for the dog with the stability that keeps us from becoming entangled by its ups and its downs.

So these divine homes,

Loving kindness is the first or love with wisdom.

The Pali word is metta,

Metta.

And this is so fundamental to our existence.

It's considered to be the first of the Brahma Viharas,

The primary one as the foundation for the other three,

Metta.

And the background story for the metta sutta is that a group of monks were frightened by the spirits in the forest where the Buddha had sent them to meditate.

And when the monks sought the Buddha to deal with these spirits the Buddha taught the monks the metta sutta as an antidote for their fear.

And so the monks recited the sutta and they felt better.

Their good well wishes,

Their good cheer quieted the spirits.

So metta is really friendliness and basic goodwill that we cultivate towards other beings.

Meaning we want them to be well.

We want to see them be happy.

It's a basic intention or wish for someone else's welfare and happiness or our welfare and happiness as we practiced a little bit at the end of meditation.

The metta practice is a practice of intention and we use words to evoke a quality of care.

We create phrases to point the mind in the direction of metta.

Words are very powerful,

You know,

Thoughts are very powerful.

So what this practice is doing is using thoughts to evoke this sort of beautiful and wholesome quality of loving kindness,

Expressing wishes of kindness.

And in the practice there are really three parts to it.

The first part is the person we're sending it to.

This morning we practice with ourselves.

Or you could work with an easy being like a pet or a really good friend.

So the first part is we hold the image of the person we're sending it to,

Ourselves or others.

And sometimes people have an easy time holding an image of a person in mind.

And for others sometimes the image comes and goes.

Whichever way it happens is fine.

But staying connected to the person we're sending it to.

So it's not just abstracts,

You know,

Abstract words going out into space.

And the second part is the words that we use,

The phrases.

And I shared pretty simple,

Somewhat traditional phrases in the meditation.

But there's a lot of room for personalizing the phrases.

So I strongly encourage you to come up with your own phrases.

Something that's meaningful that you can connect to,

And that you can remember.

Knowing what the words mean to you.

So the image of the person repeating the phrases like a mantra.

And it's really about taking time like the key to it is to take time with the phrases and feel what it's like,

May I be happy.

Concentrating on the meaning of the words.

May I be healthy.

May I be safe.

Like what does that mean to you?

The third part is the feeling of metta.

The feeling of goodwill,

The feeling of kindness.

You know,

How did that wish?

How did that thought resonate in the heart?

Did it have any kind of impact at all?

You know,

At first it might not.

Metta is really an embodied practice,

Not a mental practice.

So asking the question,

How is my heart right now with it?

And even if it's closed,

Like,

Can you be okay with that?

Part of the way that metta works is we bring a person to mind and send wishes that they'd be happy.

And sometimes all the mind produces is all the things that they have done that irritate us.

All the ways in which we don't measure up.

And we feel that.

We feel annoyance,

We feel that frustration.

And this is the metta practice at work.

It's designed to work this way.

It draws to the surface what is not metta.

So the effort of saying the phrases is like massaging those wishes through the mind,

Or like kneading it like bread.

You know,

If you're kneading dough,

Massaging it in.

And as we do that,

We attract everything that's not metta.

It's not a mistake.

You know,

It's not a mistake that we have those thoughts.

The practice is working.

And we just keep coming back to whatever phrases we create.

Sometimes what I've experienced is that my mind feels so compressed and so contracted.

It's almost physically painful at times to try to orientate towards metta.

My heart's very closed at times.

And my mind,

I know my mind pretty well,

It has a lot of aversion.

It has an aversive nature to it.

And although metta is an antidote to aversion,

It also creates a kind of challenge to it.

And what my teachers have suggested during those times is to actually switch to compassion practice for myself or forgiveness practice.

Like I felt like I could do that.

I felt more capable of doing that having compassion for my inability to feel goodwill.

So practice suggestions to help you with this practice.

Notice when something arises that is not metta and keep going with it.

Knowing that's how it works.

You don't have to stop or shift to a forgiveness practice or a compassion practice or an easier being.

You know,

Shift to that bounding puppy or a grandchild or a loved one.

Shift back to mindfulness practice,

Compassion practice.

Metta isn't a grim duty.

I felt like it was for many years for me,

But it's not.

It's flexible.

And so too is our practice with it.

So thank you.

These are my reflections on this first Brahma Vihara.

Thank you.

Reviews

A very good talk. The author shares her experience in kind thinking and intentions. Thank you

Thank you for this 💜