Brahma Vihara: Loving Kindness (Metta)

We are beginning our exploration of the Brahma Viharas. These are considered sublime and virtuous attitudes that we cultivate. It is said that whatever we think about frequently becomes the inclination of our minds. This has such huge significance for us.

The practice of loving-kindness is a practice of intention. What are your intentions for yourself? And can we have those same intentions for others?

Transcript

So we're beginning our exploration of the Brahma Viharas.

These are considered sublime virtuous attitudes that we cultivate and it's an important word cultivation.

I'd like to speak about that for a moment.

You know the definition of cultivation is a it's considered a process of tilling and loosening soil in preparation for planting.

So when we take that definition we can also look at these qualities in the same way.

You can you know imagine what it's like to till and loosen the soil of the mind.

You know we have fixed ways of being so often in the world but through this cultivation through this sort of tilling it's a process of nourishment.

In a sense our practice is a as a cultivation and what happens for practice anyway is that the the nourishment happens in stillness.

You know we're cultivating these qualities and what we're seeing is the mind in the mind that sometimes the the earth of the mind is quite hard and it doesn't penetrate easily but with practice you know of being still of seeing what's there of being with what we see we're we're watering the soil and feeding it with mindfulness.

I grew up farming and so I sort of see us in this analogy of farmers you know and farmers are continually in the process of cultivation in all seasons.

So in all seasons of our lives we are in this practice of cultivation.

In the suttas there's a saying that's throughout but it's pretty specific in the in the Dhammapada it says that whatever we think about frequently becomes the inclination of the mind and this has just huge significance for us and really you know there's a lot of neuroscience now that speaks to this which has been very powerful in bringing mindfulness to the mainstream.

So you know if I send well-wishers to you know let's say a contractor who dropped something and damaged the wood floor in our house but didn't take responsibility in fact blamed us.

If I wish him well and wish his family well knowing that he's doing the best that he can like knowing oh his body too is subject to the same aches and pains as mine maybe even more so because he works in this hard physical labor every day.

If I wish him well then he too just like me you know he's just like me this man every day you know getting in the car and facing the potential of not seeing his loved ones again.

Let's all of us seeing we're the same when I can do that all of the divine qualities that is part of this cultivation on this path really begin to drop in and nourish my whole being.

So the first of these divine states of being that I'd like to speak about is loving kindness and loving kindness is a practice that's very closely related to intention.

So whatever the intentions you have for yourself can we offer those same intentions to others?

You know it could be as simple as may I be grateful for this life.

May I be grateful for all of those in my life.

May I be grateful for the lessons given to me including my own errors and my own faults.

May I be grateful that I have a heart to serve.

I have the heart to serve.

Each of us in some way are serving our communities and our families and friends through our practice and in spiritual communities like this we get to see our hearts that serve.

You know in sharing the happenings after you know we practice together and sometimes we share what prevents our heart from service.

Sometimes we we share our gratitude and love that pours out in serving others.

So may I be grateful that I have a heart to serve.

So the Brahma vihara of metta loving kindness the way that it works is we're using words and phrases to evoke these qualities of friendliness and it supports directing the mind towards care.

As you know words are very powerful and our thoughts are very powerful and you may notice in particular in your practice that a thought can arise and then just as soon as the thought arises an emotion is born in relationship to that thought.

So what this practice of metta of loving kindness is doing is that we're using our thoughts to evoke qualities of wholesomeness.

Something that I use to this end is there's an old it's an anonymous samurai poem that I heard many years ago and I've shared it with you but I find that it's useful and it's simple.

It's just I make my mind my friend.

I make my mind my friend.

And loving kindness is like that.

It's like making your mind your friend.

You know we have all experienced people who have made their mind their friends who radiate goodwill and loving care to people that they meet like the Dalai Lama is an excellent example.

Mother Teresa when she was alive and Nelson Mandela.

We have these kind of iconic people that we see they have this loving capacity for care and it's it's really inspiring but it doesn't just end with these these famous folks that we know.

There may be teachers that we've had that really manifest this kind of care.

I know that some of my Dharma teachers certainly inspire me in this way.

I'm so grateful for the teachers that I have.

And then there's people ordinary people the people that I practice with you all you know these are people like you are the people in my life that have this quality of care of showing up with benevolence and goodwill.

It's astonishing to see the development of our Sangha and the care that is manifesting the loving kindness for our community.

And in the same vein of making the mind our friend you know the Dalai Lama has said you know I try to meet everyone as an old friend.

Can you imagine?

Like I've tried this.

It's a fantastic way to go into the world.

It's so generous and it's not easy but we can play with it.

You know that level of goodwill and loving kindness you know simply because we're all just human beings.

Going through this you know I think of myself as a spiritual being going through a human experience and that's all of us.

It's so simple to wish all beings to be happy or at the very least just to be at ease at peace in their life.

So these meta phrases that there's traditional phrases but my my take on meta and loving kindness is it's all about flexibility.

You know it to be supportive of our practice.

You know it's it's quite possible just to in having experiences in our life just to say may I be grateful for this lesson given to me.

May I be grateful for my own errors and faults that helped me grow.

It's just treating our experience our inner experience with goodwill.

We certainly can try that.

It doesn't have to be formalized by phrases that are originally spoken of in the suttas which I'll share with you if you're interested but I encourage you to try on what works for you.

This quality of loving kindness has the power to make our minds and hearts more flexible.

I think that's really it more flexible.

We become more patient with ourselves when we can offer ourselves care and then because of that we're more able and more patient with others in our lives.

The near enemy so we talked a little bit about the near and far enemies of these divine states so the near enemy the one that's similar but different is sentimentality.

Being sentimental.

It's sort of carried by emotions and a far enemy of loving kindness the opposite of goodwill is ill will and just to say that you may have people in your life that you choose not to be in relationship with but you can certainly offer them goodwill because ill will the heart can't be free if there's ill will.

It's impossible.

So the power of these teachings is that they're not something to be admired in others although we can but there it's really this practice of cultivating them within ourselves like the farmer cultivating crops you know we're going to learn a little bit by trial and error.

Sometimes we plant something in soil that may have like it's the near enemy of loving kindness so we're we're cultivating in soil that hasn't been tilled and so it may not grow may come out sideways so I find it very helpful to just make make our mind our friend and see how that goes.

So thank you for your your kind attention this morning

Reviews

Clearly delivered with loving kindness. Thank you.