So this will be the last talk on the exploration of what is this deeply layered teaching of the Angulimala Sutta.
And when we hear the story of Angulimala,
You know,
A violent serial killer,
So lost,
So deluded,
Who becomes a monk,
A healer,
It's hard to believe,
You know.
Yet as we explored on Tuesday,
The power of this story lies in how it mirrors our own life.
You know,
We might not wear a garland of fingers,
But we do carry the weight of our own unskillful actions.
We do carry that weight.
So after Angulimala puts down his weapons and he enters the path of the Buddha,
The weight of his past,
It didn't disappear.
Even after he ordained as a monk,
Angulimala was stoned by villagers who remembered his crimes.
And what did he do?
Like,
How did he respond?
He endured it without anger.
He didn't strike back.
He held his karma with patience.
Transformation,
The ability to transform our actions and our life is real,
But it doesn't mean we can escape the natural law of cause and effect.
The harm we've caused,
It just has ripples,
It ripples out.
And sometimes those ripples may be returned as blame,
Or they may be returned as mistrust.
We can't always undo the harm that we've caused,
But we can meet the consequences with patience,
With restraint,
And a heart that is turned towards wisdom.
Angulimala's life illustrates for us that holding our karma,
Bearing our karma at times,
Doesn't mean that we're crushed by it.
We're just holding it.
We're the holders of our karma.
We can't erase what's been done,
But we can choose how to meet its results.
The sutra reminds us that the human heart,
No matter how dark the past actions,
Can turn towards compassion and liberation.
Our wounds and how we wounded others,
They become scars,
Scars that inform our practice,
And they heal through this salve of compassion.
Like Angulimala,
He didn't erase his past,
He carried it.
But he no longer let it define his future actions.
His freedom was not escaping into monastic life.
His freedom was being patient with what he had done,
And he had to suffer the blows from stones thrown by those who remembered his crimes and didn't forgive him.
He was meeting that violence with his birth name.
He was born Ahimsaka,
Not Angulimala.
Ahimsaka means harmlessness.
He was born harmless.
His nature was not to harm.
So our practice is to remember that we're not trapped by our mistakes or our reactivity.
To remember his story is also our story.
Healing is possible when we can stay with the consequences of our actions without bitterness towards ourselves.
Meet our regrets with compassion.
Oh,
I was so deluded,
I couldn't see.
And choose again and again and again not to harm anymore.
So I would like to end this series,
Actually,
With a reflection.
This story,
It has great personal meaning for me.
I see myself in it.
And maybe you do.
Or maybe you don't.
Maybe it's just been an interesting inquiry.
And there isn't a lot of relatedness to Angulimala and the harm that he caused.
But there are some themes that are universal in practice.
And I would like to kind of guide you in those themes.
So coming back to your body and letting your eyes soften or close,
Sitting comfortably.
Coming back to yourself from this story that we've been exploring for the last couple of weeks.
And recalling the Buddha's words to Angulimala.
I have stopped.
You stop too.
Where can you stop in your life?
Where in your life are you running?
Are you chasing?
Where is there no restraint?
Seeing this for yourself and then pausing with this question.
Breathing with this question.
Stopping.
Allow yourself to rest just as Angulimala stopped.
I can stop too.
Noticing how when touching regret or areas in your life where you were unrestrained,
Unskillful.
Where harm was caused by your actions.
Just as Angulimala forgave himself enough to begin again.
I too can remember that I am still worthy of healing.
Still worthy of transformation.
Breathing that in.
Staying with your direct experience right now.
Your body sitting here.
I too am worthy of healing.
And just like Angulimala had to bear the results of his actions.
His karma.
With patience.
I too can bear the consequences of my past.
I too can patiently hold what has occurred with dignity.
Connecting with your breath.
Adjusting your posture so you are sitting upright.
Even if you're reclined.
Even if you're lying down.
Extend the spine.
Connecting with your dignity and your worthiness.
Oh nobly born,
Said the Buddha,
Remember who you really are.
The sons and the daughters of the awakened one.
This story illuminates the path that we're on.
Just as Angulimala walked this path 2,
500 years ago.
I too am walking this path.
Step by step.
With the knowledge that awakening is possible.
That compassion is about not leaving myself in this moment.
When we digest this story of Angulimala.
Remember the thread of compassion runs through the whole story.
Compassion is what allowed the Buddha to approach him.
Compassion is what broke open Angulimala's heart.
Compassion is what turned a killer into a healer.
Compassion is our teacher and the medicine to transform our lives.
