01.01.2026 : Begin Again

I want to start this first talk of the year with a simple invitation: to begin again. That’s really what this path is about. Beginning again. Over and over. This practice isn’t a straight line. It doesn’t move neatly from effort to progress to some final arrival. It’s much more like a loop. Or maybe a spiral.

If we believe practice should look like: practice, improvement, practice, more improvement, then when we inevitably fall short, we can feel discouraged or even ashamed. Sometimes enough to stop practicing altogether. That linear story doesn’t match real life.

Transcript

The indigenous people of the Great Lakes region are known as the Ojibwe and they have a saying and the saying goes, Sometimes I go about pitting myself and all along my soul is being blown by great winds across the sky. Isn't that beautiful? All along my soul is being blown by great winds across the sky. So I want to start this first talk of the year with a simple invitation. It's what I suggested in the meditation and that is to begin again. That's really what this path is about, Beginning again over and over. This practice is not a straight line and it doesn't move neatly from effort to progress at some sort of arrival. It's much more like a loop or maybe a spiral. A friend of mine, The teacher Matthew Brensilver once said, If you can't begin again on this path, It can become humiliating. And that really landed for me because if we're secretly believing practice should look like, You know, Practice, Improvement, Practice, And more improvement, Then we inevitably fall short and we can feel really discouraged or even ashamed and sometimes enough to stop practicing altogether. But that linear story of practice improvement, It doesn't match real life. There are periods when practice feels really steady and nourishing and concentration. It deepens and the mind settles and our life off the cushion feels a little more workable. And then sometimes without warning, Our motivation disappears and we skip a sitting and we convince ourselves that the walk that we're taking is actually our practice. And later, We'll get back to it later, You know, And that's okay. Because we're actually learning that it's not how this practice is not about how to be consistent as so much as how to begin again, To begin again. And of course, You know, We make messes along the way in our life. We say things we wish we hadn't. We act from greed, And we act from fear. And we act from confusion. And sometimes we can get really embarrassed by the messes that we make. And it's really humbling when that happens. So we can learn from those moments when we make big messes. And we can take in the lesson as deeply as possible. And, And then and this is the part that really really matters. Then we forgive ourselves completely. And we begin again. We forgive ourselves completely. In relationship, There is often a strong urge to tie everything up neatly, To resolve every conflict, And explain every misunderstanding. And sometimes that's necessary. But sometimes the loose ends remain loose ends. Things stay unresolved. And instead of forcing closure, We learn to simply let them be. And we begin again anyway. I love these words from my first teacher, My first Zen teacher, Norman Fisher. He, He gave a Dharma talk and he said, And I wrote down, This is what he said, It's hard being a human being. There is a lot to it. There really is. So I want to say in conclusion, Let's all agree to accept the reality that we're not going to do a very good job of this. There's too much to do. Isn't it a relief to know that it's not going to work out? And you just forget this to start with. You're not going to get it right. Don't worry. Just remember that there's no hope. But the important thing, Despite this, Is to start to start and continue. That will be enough. That will be enough to start and to continue. You know, Our original intentions for this practice, They may change, You know, What brought us here years ago, Might not be what sustains us now. So part of beginning again, Is asking gently and honestly, What is practice now? What does it mean in this moment of my life? Mindfulness, Remembering, It keeps us from missing our lives, You know. As the poet David White reminds us, He says in one of his poems, I turned my face for a moment, And it became my life. So I invite you to close your eyes or let your body come into rest again. And I'd like to offer a little bit more guidance in practice. Collect your attention, Maybe take a couple of full breaths to connect with your body. Fill the lungs, The chest, And let out a nice slow breath. Another full breath in. And again, Slowly, So you can really feel the sensations of letting go. Exhale deeply, Relaxing through the body. And as the breath moves in its natural rhythm, Just know that you're here. You might want to even say to yourself here. Listen to the sounds around you. Beginning again. Thank you for your kind attention.