Welcome to this meditation,
Forgiving yourself when you've hurt another.
In life,
It's inevitable that our actions,
Reactions,
And interactions may be the cause of hurt or suffering to another person.
And when this happens,
The after effect on us can be any number of feelings including guilt,
Shame,
Regret,
Or remorse.
And if we wallow in any of these feelings for too long,
We lose sight of the opportunity to learn something about our self and the nature of our relating to others.
Why did we do what we did?
What was the underlying reason for the action that caused us to hurt someone else?
How has it served us to stay in a state of denial,
Judgment,
And self-pity?
In this meditation,
You'll take the first step in uncovering the answer to these questions so that you can forgive yourself for the hurt you caused another.
I recommend doing this meditation for every relationship in which you still carry feelings of guilt,
Shame,
Or regret about something you did to purposely or accidentally hurt someone else.
So if you're ready,
Let's begin our meditation.
Just allowing yourself to get settled in your chair or in meditation position on the floor.
In either case,
Be sure that you're sitting upright,
Ideally your back is a bit away from the back of the chair so that your spine can be held upright.
And just dropping your chin slightly so that it's parallel to the floor and the crown of your head is extended upward.
Now just noticing all the different places where your body meets the surface underneath you.
Feeling the support of the chair or the floor underneath you and noticing all the ways in which you feel supported.
And as you do,
Just bringing your awareness to your breath.
Noticing as you breathe in where your breath goes and as you breathe out where your breath goes.
And now just noticing how your breath is almost like a bridge between your outer world and your inner world.
And noticing how with each breath you can draw a little more closely into your inner world and into that place where everything that you've ever known or sensed or felt or imagined or dreamed or experienced is recorded.
And as you come into this place,
Just allow all of your inner senses to begin to open.
Your senses of sight and sound,
Smell,
Taste and touch.
But especially allowing your sixth sense,
Your intuitive sense of just knowing to begin to open quite widely now.
As you bring to mind a time when you did something that hurt or caused pain to someone else.
Perhaps it was something that you said or did that caused pain to another person.
Maybe it was someone that you love or someone that you don't love that you feel animosity towards and you just felt in the moment justified in your actions.
And just beginning to recall this incident,
Perhaps even remembering all the specifics about this incident.
Noticing all of your inner senses.
And as you recall this incident,
Notice how you hurt or caused pain to this other person.
Now as you're recalling this incident and remembering the specifics of this incident,
Ask yourself,
Why is it that I reacted or acted so harshly towards this person?
What was the unmet need that I was trying to fulfill when I acted or reacted in this way?
Maybe if you lost your temper,
You perhaps had the need to feel respected but felt disrespected by this person.
Or maybe you needed to feel heard but felt unheard.
Whatever it was for you,
Whatever you needed in this moment,
Just stay with this inquiry.
What was the unmet need that I was trying to fulfill when I acted so harshly?
And allow yourself to feel the feelings that come up around this incident and the unmet need that you had in that moment.
And recognize that although what you did and how you acted was unskillful in that moment,
The underlying need that you had that prompted your action was in fact legitimate.
Although what you did was unskillful and hurtful to another,
There was an underlying need and that need was in fact legitimate.
This awareness doesn't let you off of the hook for your action but it does bring the light of awareness onto it.
So with this awareness,
Allow yourself now to experience whatever feelings are arising in you,
Whether it's sadness,
Disappointment,
Embarrassment,
Whatever the feelings are,
Just letting those feelings arise without trying to avoid them or do anything other than just feel them.
And as you feel these feelings,
Notice where you may be holding them in your body.
Just do a scan over your whole body.
Notice where you might be holding these feelings,
Scanning your face and jaw,
Your neck and shoulders,
Arms and hands,
Scanning your spine,
Your back,
Your torso and hips,
Your legs,
Your lower legs and feet.
And using your sixth sense,
Your intuitive sense of just knowing to locate where you might be holding these feelings in your body.
And as you become aware of where these feelings or this feeling is located in your body,
Just noticing if it has a shape or a form or if there's a word or an image associated with it or even if it's a certain color.
And knowing that it's safe to just feel this feeling or feelings in your body.
You can begin to use your breath to bring the light of awareness into this area of your body.
You can begin to dislodge or dissolve any tension,
Tightness or contraction that these feelings may be causing in your physical body.
You're going to use your breath to bring healing energy into these feelings.
And as you bring this healing breath into these feelings that are held in this location in your body in whatever image or form or shape they may be taking or just a feeling,
Just silently saying to yourself,
I forgive myself for my actions,
For hurting this person.
I recognize that I was trying to fulfill an unmet need and I wasn't very skillful in doing so.
I forgive myself for holding on to feelings of regret,
Remorse,
Guilt or shame because I recognize that they don't serve me.
These feelings don't heal the pain I caused the other person and they don't help me to grow or heal.
They've kept me contracted and put a wedge between me and others and so it's time for me to let them go.
I give myself permission to forgive myself and I choose to forgive myself now.
And just allowing yourself to feel a healing taking place.
Allow yourself to feel your life force,
Your energy,
Your prana and power flow into this place that you've held contraction and tightness in to heal this place in your body at a cellular and molecular level physically,
Mentally,
Emotionally and spiritually.
Allow yourself to breathe in this healing light and allow this forgiveness,
This practice,
This healing practice of forgiveness to take root in your life.
And just knowing that this healing will affect every relationship that you have but most importantly the relationship that you have with yourself.
And just feel yourself being filled with your own power now.
And allow that power to take root deep in your consciousness.
And just feeling a deep sense of freedom and expansiveness in this forgiveness practice as you slowly bring your awareness back to your breath,
Allowing your breath to be the bridge between your inner world and your outer world.
And bringing with you this healing that will take effect on all levels of your being physically mentally emotionally and spiritually.
And knowing that this forgiveness practice will affect all of your relationships over the coming days and weeks and even months ahead as you come back into your everyday life filled with power and love and compassion.
And just slowly beginning to feel the surface underneath you once again,
Perhaps wiggling your toes and fingers,
Coming back closer to the surface and whenever you're ready,
Opening your eyes and finding yourself back in the room once again.
Namaste.
