Why You Feel Stuck: Confronting Negative Inner Self Talk

Do you feel stuck, overwhelmed, and disillusioned because no matter how hard you have tried, your life never turns out the way you had hoped? If you are beginning to ask yourself why you are not happy, you are some of the few people who are starting to break through the veil of consciousness. Until one understands that inner self talk shapes our life moment by moment.

In this episode, Lisa A. Romano shares timeless wisdom regarding the power of our internal self-talk. She explains that even the word spelling reveals a mystical truth in the root word, spell. Every word we speak to ourselves is casting a spell upon us, and until we awaken and recognize the predictable self-sabotaging patterns of our inner self-talk, we all remain stuck repeating our pasts, no matter how often we hear our conscious minds begging for something different.

Transcript

Welcome to Breakdown to Breakthrough,

The podcast that empowers you to transform your life by awakening to your true,

Authentic self.

I'm Lisa A.

Romano,

Your host.

As an award-winning author and certified life coach,

I've dedicated my life to helping others understand the incredible power of an organized mind.

I believe that true empowerment begins with awakening to our false self.

My mission is to support you on your journey toward mental and emotional regeneration through conscious and deliberate awakening.

In this podcast,

I'll share insights,

Tools,

And transformative stories that illuminate the path to healing and self-discovery.

Namaste,

Everybody.

So today,

I wanted to address why it is that so many of us have a difficult time ascending and transcending,

Why so many of us feel stuck,

Why so many of us feel overwhelmed,

And what are some of the things that we can do in the now to help us heal and start living a fulfilled life.

So many of my clients are in their 50s,

60s,

70s,

And some are even in their 80s.

These are men and women who have played by the rules.

They thought they were doing everything right.

They kept a job two or three.

They put food on the table.

They took care of their wives.

They took care of their husbands.

They took care of their children.

And around the age of 40,

50,

Things start to heat up,

And their life begins to fall apart.

They start to experience different things like chronic diseases,

IBS.

Many of them have suffered from migraine headaches.

And they start to ask themselves,

Like,

What is going on?

Why aren't I happy?

And why,

If I'm doing everything right in my life where I think I am,

I go to church.

I go to temple.

I say my prayers.

I fear my God.

Why isn't my life moving forward?

And it's a very fair question.

And I think those of us who are asking those questions,

Those are the people in our society that are breaking through.

Even though it's a really painful experience,

The people who are asking,

Why am I stuck?

The people who are seeking knowledge and information via podcasts,

YouTube videos,

Insight Timer,

Wherever you are seeking knowledge,

You,

Dear one,

Should know you're breaking through.

It is so important that we recognize that our inner self-talk is shaping our reality.

When you think about language,

Think about the word spelling.

The word spell is in the word spelling.

Language casts a spell.

It's an invisible spell.

From childhood,

If you were taught that you were bad,

If you felt like you were not good enough,

That language of emotion is casting a spell on you.

Your brain is actually being wired to associate pain with feeling.

And the recticular activating system of the brain is very sensitive,

But it can only work with the information and the data that the central processing system gives it,

Which is our focus.

And it doesn't matter if you're two or three,

23,

53,

Or 73,

Or 103.

Whatever your inner self-talk is,

Is literally programming and wiring your brain at the subconscious level.

And we think about the word sub.

Okay,

Think about the word subconscious.

Got it,

Sub,

Below.

And what about subatomic?

Oh,

Okay,

It's below.

It's the energy of the atoms.

And it's all intertwined.

I personally believe that our society and the cultures that we live in,

I believe someone knows this.

And I believe that there's a reason it's not added to a kindergarten curriculum.

There's a reason first-graders,

Second-graders,

Tenth-graders,

We're not taught about this even in college or at a university level.

We're not taught that spelling is a spell.

We're not taught that the universe means one and verse means word.

So here,

The universe is being completely fabricated through this concept of words.

And although we tend to associate words with things that we can hear,

At the subatomic level,

The universe is responding to your word through your vibration.

And I think the movies like The Secret kind of mystified the quantum level and kind of made a lot of people think,

Oh,

It's a bunch of hokey pokey.

The law of attraction doesn't work.

And I think that's really sad because there is only quantum energy.

That's all there is.

And these laws are absolute and they're always working.

It's the reason that the earth doesn't fall out of the cosmos.

It's because of attraction and repulsion.

It's because of electromagnetic fields that we cannot see,

But yet they influence us like gravity.

It's the reason why trees grow up towards the sky.

And when they hit a certain age,

They start to become brittle.

Their limbs become very rigid.

Their limbs start to rot and they die,

Just like humans.

I don't mean to sound gross to anyone,

But eventually you will age and you will start to feel your body lean forward.

It's because the energy that your body was,

It's not so vibrant anymore.

And as a result,

We start to hunch as we get older and we're being pulled towards the center of our body and the center of the earth.

We're all being pulled,

So it's gravity.

My point is that if we can think about our emotions as energy,

Think about the word emotion,

E-motion.

Think about e equals mc squared.

It's the same thing.

And I really think that if we,

As the adults in life,

Can start recognizing emotions and expression of emotions as simply energy and motion,

And we understand that what we suppress,

What we resist,

Is actually gaining momentum,

What we try to control,

What we coerce in a child is going to get worse.

It goes underground,

Sub,

Subconscious ground,

But whatever's in the subconscious must be made manifest.

It is the law.

And so the reason why so many of us get stuck is because from the time we're little tiny beings,

We're beings of light,

Even the word human,

You,

Man,

You,

Light.

Man is light,

And man is a universal term.

Don't want to offend anybody.

That's not necessary.

It's a universal term.

You,

Man.

We are beings of light,

Even human being.

It's right there in front of us,

But we're taught to make money.

We're taught to compete.

We're taught to indoctrinate our children.

And so we're stuck in patterns and programs that we're not even aware of.

And the ultimate tyranny is to be unaware that the pattern and program is within you now.

And that's why with all of my work,

I'm trying to help people awaken to their inner childhood programming,

Their inner subconscious world.

I'm trying to teach them how to access that world.

And once you start to access that world,

You start to see it all outside of you.

Television programming is programming you.

The government is governing men programming you.

Not a big conspiracy theorist,

But I want people to recognize that the entire reason that we are born into cultures,

It seems as if our religions program us.

From before we can speak,

We're told who and what we are,

What we should find important.

We're told what to study in school.

We're told what to do for our careers.

We're just constantly being corralled.

And we need that to some degree in a civilized society.

But I think that it's important that we recognize when we're not as free as we think we are.

They call the television the boob tube for a reason,

Because whatever is flashed across the screen is programming you through the word,

Through vibrations.

And so it's important that as you begin to awaken and you recognize what is going on,

How you were programmed as a child,

And how now you have been infected at the subconscious level.

And when you devote yourself to understanding,

Wait,

It's not me.

It's just my programming.

It can be a little wonky at first.

It can be destabilizing,

Because you start to feel this separation within yourself.

And that's why it's so important that you start off.

The ground foundational thought is I am enough.

That within me,

There is a sacred self.

And the sacred self is helping me expand my awareness so that I can be more objective about my universe,

My inner word,

My inner world.

And I can be more objective about how in the beginning of every manifestation,

There is the word,

There is vibration.

When you start to see the world as pure vibration and you start to see yourself as vibration,

You start to develop this incredible keen awareness within yourself where hopefully that will happen to you,

Where you start to pay more attention to how you feel.

Now,

As children,

We're often taught that our feelings are bad.

Just last night,

I was watching an episode of Yellowstone,

Very popular series these days.

Everybody's talking about it,

Or at least many of the people that I know were talking about it.

And I finally said,

You know what?

Let me just see what this is all about.

There's this incredible scene,

Maybe you remember it,

Where Casey's little boy says to his dad while he's riding a horse that's difficult to break,

He says,

Our house sucks.

I don't want to go back to our house,

Or something like that.

And what does the father say?

He becomes very demonstrative,

Aggressive,

And he says,

Hey,

Your mother and I work really hard for that house.

Don't you ever say that again.

The little boy wells up with tears and he runs away.

And he says,

I don't want to talk to you.

So that's a classic scene.

And that happens every day where a child comes forth and says to the mother and the father in a vulnerable moment,

Expresses a negative emotion,

And the parents can't handle it.

In that scene,

Casey made his little boy's feelings all about him.

He taught him,

You don't have a right to feel.

You don't have a right to your inner reality.

You don't have a right.

And I can't handle it because your needs are in conflict with my needs.

Now,

In that moment,

It was a very narcissistic moment for Casey,

Who was the main character in the show.

And it's really important that we become more aware of how often we do that to other people,

How often we do it to our spouse,

How often we do it to our children,

How often we do it to coworkers,

How often we do it to the self,

Where we have this feeling of,

I'm not happy here,

And we do not know how to express it.

We do not know how to feel it.

We do not know how to process it.

And so the reason we get stuck is because since we're children,

We receive messages that some emotions are okay,

And the emotions that line up with what mommy and daddy want you to feel and what mommy and daddy want you to think,

They're acceptable.

The emotions that do not line up with mommy and daddy are unacceptable.

So your inner-verse,

Your universe,

Your inner world is being programmed and conditioned to accept some feelings and to not accept other feelings.

As a little girl,

I was called Negative Nelly.

And if you go back to Little House on the Prairie,

That was a very common term to use against scapegoat daughters,

Against scapegoat children,

Against a family member that was very honest and said,

I don't like Uncle Mickey.

He smells like alcohol.

I don't like the way he talks to me.

And being shut down by family members that can't handle your reality of Uncle Mickey,

Even though everyone has the same reality.

This is so classic in toxic families with white picket fences,

With green lawns,

With a couple of dogs.

It's just such a normal way of being.

And yet it is hurting us at the level of the subconscious mind,

At our spirits.

And so many of us get stuck because before we are born,

We are taught that some of what we have to say is good.

And some of us,

Some of what we have to say is not good.

And we're looking to the external world for that evidence.

And that's what we have to transcend.

We have to be able to stop for a moment and give ourselves permission to feel whatever we feel.

Whatever it is that you're afraid of.

If your son is out doing things he shouldn't be doing and you're terrified,

You have to accept that.

If your daughter is involved in things that might land her in prison,

You have to accept that that's how you feel.

If you have a diagnosis and you're terrified,

You have to accept the terror.

That is the first step.

If you're angry with other people,

If you hold resentment,

If there's feelings from the past that you're having a hard time processing,

The first step is acknowledging that there is something happening within you that's uncomfortable.

Now,

There are so many other steps,

But for this session,

I just wanted to help people recognize that we feel stuck when we prevent ourselves from feeling what we feel,

From acknowledging how we feel.

Let's go back to that scene with Casey and his young son.

So if Casey had said to his son,

Why do you feel that way?

That would have been a tremendous healing,

Teachable moment for that little boy.

Tell me why you think our home sucks.

Well,

My aunt just ended her life.

My uncle's life was cut short.

You and mom are not on the same page,

And grandpa lives in a beautiful house.

So why would I go back to living day-to-day where things are so hard when grandpa's offering us all of this lifestyle,

This luxury?

It makes sense,

Right?

So if the father would have just taken the moment to say,

Tell me how you feel,

What's going on,

And just validate that this little boy felt the way he felt without making it about the father.

Children don't need to know why you're struggling.

They really don't.

Not when they're trying to tell you why they're struggling.

That's for a later conversation.

Children are not supposed to worry about their parents' emotions.

They will do that naturally.

But when parents aren't really careful about how they're presenting their emotions to their children,

They oftentimes induce shame.

They induce guilt.

And they begin to program them for an internal dialogue that will trap them on an invisible level within the structures of their own mind.

And yet the subconscious mind is more powerful than the conscious mind by 500,

000 times,

Up to a million times stronger.

And so we have to start really thinking about how we were raised,

What is our inner self-talk?

Do I allow myself to simply feel what I feel?

Am I shutting down my inner child?

Am I repeating the patterns from the past?

If you wanna know how you're doing,

Then simply look at your life.

Are you happy with the direction your life is going?

Because it's not that there's this big conspiracy against you,

It's just that you don't understand how your inner words,

How your language is a spell.

And the exciting thing is,

Is that the minute you become more conscious of how you're speaking to yourself,

The minute you start paying attention to,

How do I feel?

And you just simply let yourself feel it.

Yeah,

That's how I feel today.

Yeah,

That's how I feel today.

Yeah,

That's how I feel today.

Yeah,

That's how I feel today.

It's not about being validated by someone on the outside.

That would be nice.

But it is about learning how to validate yourself on the inside.

It doesn't mean we go kick the dog.

It doesn't mean that we harass people at Target.

It doesn't mean we take all our anger out on our spouse.

Quite the contrary.

It means that we level up,

We mature,

Because codependency is immaturity.

We're stuck.

We're stuck.

We're stuck at the level of trauma we were as children when we began to learn that we were not acceptable unless we were making other people happy.

So codependency is all about immaturity.

And so we can start today by deciding to take responsibility for how we feel.

Now,

Taking responsibility for how we feel doesn't mean I'm the reason I feel this way.

No,

How you feel is generally a product of the outside.

It's the effect of a particular cause that has wired you at the subconscious level.

What's really exciting is that the more you awaken and develop awareness,

The more control you have over how you speak to yourself.

And that,

Dear one,

Changes the game.

So today,

I hope that you just,

From time to time,

You walk throughout the day and you ask yourself how you feel,

And you don't look to anyone to validate.

You say,

Yeah,

You have a right to feel that way.

That's codependency.

It would be nice,

But when you're trying to recover,

When you're trying to become an empowered individual,

An autonomous individual,

Someone whose inner peace is not dependent upon what's happening outside of them,

We have to stop seeking that validation on the outside.

We must go through the fire of letting all that go and become our own best friend,

Become our own coach,

And become our own divine parent to the inner child that was shut down even before we can speak.

I hope this has been helpful.

Until next time,

Dear one,

Here's to living above the veil of consciousness,

Dear one,

In control of our inner universe.

Bye for now.

Reviews

So much clarity provided in such a short time. I thank you. 🕉

Exactly what I needed right now. Self acceptance starts with accepting any and every emotion. Thank you.

Good talk. Lots of clarity here! Thanks Lisa. Many blessings for the new year! 🤍🤍

Some excellent content to reflect upon. Thankyou Lisa. 🙏🏼💖

All good.

This is so spot on as to how I feel. Change is good. Even though my family doesn’t believe in it, I see the difference in my life and I will continue on this path I have initiated. Thank you!😊