Managing The People And Relationships That Drain Your Energy

Do you leave certain conversations feeling drained, anxious, or foggy? Do you notice that some people you speak to have a way of causing you to feel dread? If so, you may have just encountered an energy vampire, someone who literally survives through controlling your consciousness through language, tone, body movements, innuendos, and comments that cause you to wonder what their true intentions are.

In this deep and practical episode, Lisa A. Romano, trauma-informed life coach and codependency recovery expert, reveals how to recognize, neutralize, and heal from energetic drain in relationships.

You’ll learn how energy vampires operate, how trauma wires your nervous system to attract them, and—most importantly—how to stop giving your energy away. Lisa also explores the shadow side of codependency, showing how even caring, selfless people can unknowingly drain others when they haven’t healed their inner wounds

Transcript

Welcome to Breakdown to Breakthrough,

The podcast that empowers you to transform your life by awakening to your true,

Authentic self.

I'm Lisa A.

Romano,

Your host.

As an award-winning author and certified life coach,

I've dedicated my life to helping others understand the incredible power of an organized mind.

I believe that true empowerment begins with awakening to our false self.

My mission is to support you on your journey toward mental and emotional regeneration through conscious and deliberate awakening.

In this podcast,

I'll share insights,

Tools,

And transformative stories that illuminate the path to healing and self-discovery.

Today we're talking about energy vampires,

And we're going to approach this from different angles.

The angles that we're going to approach it from are,

One side is that we know people who are energy vampires,

And we need to really get clearer about where we stand,

Where other people stand,

How to set boundaries,

How to identify energy vampires in our life,

And some of the symptoms that we have to recognize in ourself that signal,

Hey,

I think I've just spent way too much time with an energy vampire.

We're going to look at this or observe this from that angle where we have energy vampires in our life,

And then we're going to switch,

And we are going to contemplate and ponder as to whether or not we have been energy vampires along our path,

And we're going to become more observant and more humble and more aware about how and when we have been the negative people in the relationship,

When we have played the martyr,

When we have consistently blamed other people for what is going on in our life and where we are and why we can't succeed and all that jazz.

And this is the accountability part of every recovery journey.

Without accountability,

There is no recovery.

Without self-awareness,

There is no recovery.

Without bending the knee and being humble,

Without integrity,

Without recognizing when and if we are someone who speaks out of both sides of our mouth,

So,

So important,

And this is for people who are very serious about their emotional recovery,

Their mental clarity,

And their ability to heal from being a codependent person,

From being someone who was raised in a home that was unpredictable and unstable.

So this is not a session for somebody who is just mildly interested in emotional recovery.

This session is for people who take their mental health and their emotional health,

Their relationship health,

Their relationship with the self very seriously.

And if that's you,

Then you're going to appreciate today's session.

And to start off,

We're going to identify six different types of energy vampires.

And I would like to just say that many energy vampires are those who have narcissistic tendencies or a pervasive pattern of narcissism,

Which means that these are people who are entitled,

Who lack empathy,

And who exploit the emotions of other people.

This is a pervasive pattern of selfishness,

Self-preoccupation,

Always blaming other people for what's going on.

They have to be the best.

Their kids have to be the best.

They're just draining,

Really draining people to be around.

And what you won't hear is compassion for others.

You'll hear a lot of judgment about others,

And this again is a pervasive pattern.

People that have borderline personality,

People who have severe abandonment traumas and who are very triggered by any hint that there could be an abandonment,

And they will oftentimes see abandonment when it's not even there because of their childhood programming.

And this is somebody whose emotions,

They're very reactive,

And they are really tortured by their trauma,

And their ego is so defensive and so reactive that they feel safe by playing out this narrative and never releasing this narrative that people have always abandoned them or they don't do enough for them.

So there's a lot of guilt in their language,

Sociopaths,

Psychopaths,

Obviously.

And so these are generally people that will potentially be an energy vampire in your life,

Just generally,

Broad stroke.

And then we want to remember that codependents who take on martyrdom,

Codependents who,

I do everything for everybody else,

And nobody ever cares about me the way that I care about them.

Look at everything I do for everybody else,

And look,

Look,

Look,

Look,

They just forget about me.

Like I'm just,

I'm just constantly passed over.

We can become energy vampires to our friends or to our spouses,

Codependent parents who have always consistently put the needs of everyone else before them,

And now their children are at an age where they don't need them anymore,

And the codependent parent just feels completely lost without this identity.

And now they're leaning on their spouse in unhealthy ways,

And they become an energy vampire to their spouse.

And always wanting the spouse to agree with them and say,

Oh yes,

These rotten children that we have,

You were such a great mom,

Or you were such a great dad.

Yes,

I don't know why,

You know,

They just don't do everything you want them to do.

And so that's why they say like with codependency and narcissism,

Right in the middle,

There is some overlap there.

You want to really be careful.

And without this awareness,

You can't change it.

If you don't know that as a codependent,

You can be an energy vampire to maybe not your partner who is highly narcissistic because they're draining you,

But in your inability to,

Or your lack of healing the self,

You run the danger of being an energy vampire to someone else.

And we want to know this about ourselves,

Right?

So that we can fix it.

It's going to be a lot easier for somebody who is codependent to stop being an energy vampire because when it comes to cluster B personalities,

They are,

They are not likely to change.

They are not likely to stick with any program long enough to actually develop the wherewithal,

The self-awareness to change.

There's a really difficult,

Um,

It's really difficult for somebody under the cluster B to actually change.

Whereas codependents can change.

And that's why I love working with codependents because they are wounded,

But they don't want to be,

They love people,

But they don't love themselves.

And once they begin to realize like,

Oh,

I have to love myself.

And then I begin to love others in a healthier way.

They're on board.

Most,

Most people that I work with,

I would say 99.

9% of the people that I work with are absolutely on board.

What do I have to do to fix this?

How can you help me when it comes to self-awareness?

How can you help me with self accountability?

What tool do I need?

Like where did I,

Where did I go wrong in that conversation?

What did I not see?

Where was I coming from?

What was the pattern?

And together we clear,

We clear the blocks that are keeping them stuck and it works beautifully.

So let's talk about six energy vampires or types of energy vampires and some of the things that you can do.

And one of the tactics that I do in my own life,

Well,

A couple,

There's two that I like really,

Really like a lot that I do actually three,

We'll talk about the three that I do when I'm dealing with somebody who I feel I really need to block and protect myself from and really hold onto my gen energy for.

So the first one is the emotional dumper.

Now,

This,

This type of energy vampire will flood every conversation with crisis,

Chaos and a complaint.

They rarely pause to breathe or ask how you are.

Their nervous system seeks co-regulation through constant unloading,

But because they lack emotional boundaries,

They transfer the pain onto others.

After talking to them,

You feel heavy,

Drained and anxious as if they're unprocessed emotions jumped into your energy field.

Now I want to offer you a healing insight here.

Emotional dumping is not intimacy.

It's emotional offloading practice,

Compassionate boundaries.

I care about you,

But I'm not in a space to process this right now.

So this is somebody who is unaware that they're unaware and highly emotionally dysregulated.

And all they want to do is talk about what's going on.

It's usually a lot all the time.

And it's always a cycle.

This person never comes out of this crisis.

There's always a crisis happening in their life and they need somebody and they are attracted to people who are more healed because you represent healing to them.

You have something that they desire.

And so they come to you with all of these emotions and think that you're going to be able to hold that,

Hold that for them.

And then they get to offloaded or basically offloaded.

And you walk away feeling anxious,

Feeling irritable,

Feeling drained,

And even feeling physically fatigued.

If that happens to you around certain people,

See and notice the pattern.

This is not intimacy.

This person isn't coming to you to connect.

This person is coming to you to like dump.

And that is not intimacy.

And I want you to be aware of that.

Now the second one is called what I refer to as a subtle saboteur.

This person cloaks jealousy and insecurity behind helpful comments or faint praise that cuts deep.

They might smile while saying,

You're so lucky things always work out for you.

They're really not happy for you.

Their energy drains because it confuses your nervous system.

One part registers approval and the another one,

Another part of you registers and feels like you've just been attacked.

This creates cognitive dissonance and that pulls your vibration down.

So think about the friend in your life that is jealous of your success in a relationship.

You're so lucky that you have somebody who can tolerate you.

We all know how you really are,

How you can be.

That type of a,

That type of a thing.

Someone who is,

Their vibration is very envious or a very coveting personality.

They're never really genuinely happy for anyone,

Not even you.

And so that's the subtle saboteur.

And a healing insight for that would be,

You have to trust how your body feels,

Not just what is said by the person.

Passive aggressive energy is still aggression.

It just wears lipstick sometimes.

So be aware of how you feel when you're around somebody who makes comments like that,

Because that will drain you.

You'll walk away feeling very confused.

You'll end up feeling foggy because of the backhanded compliment.

And you want to trust how it felt when it landed,

Right?

You want to gain a connection and trust that connection to your inner self because we want to reorient you to your being able to trust your guidance system and comments like this and energy vampires that dump on you,

That use passive aggressive comments.

They will confuse your ability to really anchor into your guidance system.

The third is the perpetual victim.

No matter what solution you offer,

They find a new reason that it won't work.

Their subconscious payoff for staying powerless is attention and your sympathy.

Over time,

They condition your empathy into servitude.

This dynamic hijacks your mirror neurons and pulls you into the narrative of helplessness.

Now this is a type of person who every time you talk to them,

It's a conversation where you know when the phone rings,

You're going to end up being their coach,

Their therapist,

Their nurse,

Everything.

You're going to be everything to them.

And they're really not calling,

Hey,

How are you?

How are you?

How's your husband?

How are your kids?

And if they do,

It's just pleasantries.

So they can get on talking about themselves so they can talk about who victimized them.

And when you try to offer a suggestion,

This person always has an excuse for why your perception of them is wrong.

Your perception of the situation is wrong.

You're just not understanding them.

You don't know how bad things are.

And when you get off the phone with this person,

You can be angry.

You can be annoyed.

You can,

Like I said,

Irritable,

Fatigued,

And spacey,

Like foggy.

You're so disconnected because you've taken on their energy and they've hijacked you.

Maybe your root chakra,

Maybe your heart chakra,

They've hijacked you.

They're in you,

Like this cord is in you.

And you,

Through your kindness,

Your compassion,

And your empathy,

And you've got to really be careful when you use empathy for others at the expense of empathy for the self.

That's when they've got you.

And so it's a really important thing to recognize that if you go into conversations,

Having more empathy for others,

Then your own time,

Then how this person causes you to feel,

You're in trouble,

Or you could be in trouble.

So be aware of that key idea.

Now the healing insight here is that you can empathize without enabling.

True compassion empowers others to rise,

Not remain dependent.

You also want to think about,

And I think about this a lot,

Is that if you've done a lot of healing work,

What you'll notice is that you tend to attract more and more people that need to be healed.

And they see something in you that they crave.

Maybe it's a sense of peace.

Maybe it's a sense of order in your life.

Maybe it's mental clarity.

Maybe it's the ease that you seem to have manifested in your life.

And certainly people who are energy vampires,

Oftentimes,

I would say most times,

That they're unconscious of just how energetically draining they are.

They're wounded.

They believe their narrative.

They are operating from their ego persona.

They have no idea that their persona is a story and that through their offloading,

Through their drama,

Through their playing the victim and really coming off like a martyr sometimes,

They are expressing these unhealed wounds.

And they have no clue that they are affecting other people.

I would say that,

But that doesn't,

You have to be aware.

And I,

Like I said,

I'm very aware that when we enable those situations and we enable those people,

We're not helping them.

You know,

Our hearts might be breaking because we see somebody who is having a toxic relationship and no matter what you offer them,

They're just making the relationship worse and worse and your heartstrings can get pulled.

You can feel so badly for this person,

But you really can't help somebody who cannot see how they are affecting other people.

And I think oftentimes the people that think they're awesome have the most blind spots.

The people that think that they're not doing anything wrong,

That everything is happening to them can become very unaware of how their story impacts other people.

Now,

Number four is the charismatic controller,

Charming,

Persuasive,

And magnetic.

They're skilled at reading energy and using it to dominate or subtly manipulate others.

Their approval becomes a drug.

Their withdrawal,

A punishment.

They feed on your need for validation.

Think about a narcissist here.

Over time,

Your energy becomes wired to their moods as your nervous system tries to earn their love again.

So you have the narcissistic,

Charismatic energy vampire who can sense your need for approval and will give you a bunch of approval when you first meet them and you'll feel so seen and you'll idealize them and they'll idealize you and now you're stuck and you now will feel like you need to,

You're drained by them because they're constantly withholding approval or they're changing the game or they're projecting or they're blame shifting or they're stonewalling or they're gaslighting and they're just offering the silent treatment.

That is draining your energy.

The cognitive dissonance when you are with an energetic vampire that has high narcissistic traits,

The cognitive dissonance will drain you.

You will never feel like you,

Both your feet are on solid ground.

You'll never feel good about yourself in a state of cognitive dissonance and this is absolutely draining your energy.

So remember that love,

Love that demands submission or is based on course of control isn't love.

It's control.

Real connection honors mutual sovereignty.

So if you don't feel safe in a relationship,

If you feel drained in a relationship,

It's time to really step back and really look at that and ask yourself,

What are the dynamics of play?

How did I get here and what do I need to start changing this up?

Sometimes you have to absolutely leave the relationship and that's really,

Really hard.

That's scary because your brain has no map for leaving this relationship and your brain would prefer that you stay in the familiarity of a predictable,

A predictable pattern,

Even if it sucks.

And that is where true courage comes from and true integrity comes from and true vulnerability comes from,

But you can do it.

I think once you see what's wrong and you understand what you need to break it or fix it,

That's when you can develop the courage to actually keep moving through the tough times and the challenges.

Number five is the helpless hero.

This one hides behind martyrdom.

They're always doing for others,

Yet they're exhausted and resentful and quietly judgmental of those who don't give back.

Their worth is tied to self-sacrifice and they unconsciously guilt others into feeding their role as the good one.

Their energy drain comes through emotional guilt transference.

So this is where I think we have where covert and vulnerable narcissism dips into the pool of unconscious codependency when someone in their head is the good one and now they set up someone to be their victim.

So I'm going to do for you,

I'm going to take care of you.

I'm going to see myself as the good one and I hold the litmus paper.

So if you don't do everything that I do,

Then that gives me the right to guilt you.

That gives me the right to judge you.

And now I'm persecuting you and now I feel like the victim.

And so we want to be careful of that,

What they call the drama triangle.

But think about the,

The little Italian grandma,

I'm sorry,

Little Italian grandmas,

This little Italian grandma whose whole identity is wrapped up in feeding her children and taking care of her children and taking care of her grandchildren.

And they start not wanting to come over for meatballs and pasta on a Sunday afternoon.

Now think about this grandma who gives these grandchildren and children everything that they want.

They want to go to college,

She pays for it.

They want a new car,

She gets them a new car.

They,

They want a new,

New football cleats to get new football cleats,

Whatever it is doing,

Doing,

Doing,

Oh,

Um,

The daughter-in-law is sick and grandma runs over there and cleans the house and whatever,

Whatever,

Whatever,

Whatever.

Like grandma is doing everything.

And now grandma's tired and she goes home and,

And she starts to complain to Nona about,

Um,

How bad and how ungrateful her children are and how ungrateful the daughter-in-laws are.

Right?

So the,

The husband is like,

Oh my God,

It'd be better if you did nothing for these kids,

Right?

What are you talking about?

They do,

They wouldn't take care of themselves.

You know what a slob my daughter-in-law is?

You know,

You know,

They,

They'd let these kids go to football with torn jerseys and they needed me to do this.

I had to do this.

What would they do without me?

That's what I'm talking about.

This is the helpless hero and everything is built on guilt.

So they're taking care of other people and behind the scene,

They're identifying with this self-sacrifice,

But they're really looking to gain from others,

A sense of approval and also obligation.

They want you to be obligated to them and,

And praise them and validate them for being this self-sacrificing per person.

And so that can be very,

Very draining and saying no to someone who's,

Who looks at least on the surface,

Who's trying to help you can be really hard because that it's so hard because that person really does think they're helping you.

And woe to you when you say,

No,

Grandma,

I don't want to come over on Sunday for pasta and meatballs.

Thank you very much for taking me to the dentist and buy and pay for my,

My orthodontic work,

But I don't want to come to come on Sunday or,

Um,

I don't like when you guilt me about these things or throw it up in my face.

You're going to be in trouble because the helpless hero is going to have a real issue with that.

Now,

It's important that you remember that you don't owe anyone your depletion serving from emptiness only creates more emptiness.

So when someone is doing something for you,

Because they're,

They're expecting you to be in servitude to them,

That's a really complicated situation.

Want to identify that energy vampire and start to put boundaries up,

But be prepared.

They're not going to understand it.

And I do think that this is where the covert vulnerable narcissist and the unaware codependent needy codependent.

That's where we start to see some overlap.

Now,

The last one is the drama conductor.

They create tension wherever they go,

Gossiping,

Exaggerating,

Or stirring conflict to feel alive.

So this is a person who no matter what's going on,

They have to turn the conversation to negative.

Chaos regulates their emptiness like a lightning rod.

They provoke others reactivity to feed on emotional electricity.

Their nervous system confuses calm with boredom.

So peace feels threatening.

This is somebody who you've just painted your house and they walk in and they know that you're super excited about it and they need to like jack you up.

And so this is an energy vampire.

So they're the person who likes to wind you up by saying,

Hey,

I think you missed a spot over,

But over behind that couch.

Yeah.

I see the socket over there.

What kind of a painter did you hire?

That kind of a person,

Somebody who walks into your house and has to say something negative or you're excited about your promotion and they have to talk about,

Yeah,

But how much,

How many vacation days do you get?

Like always dance.

The plane is always dipping,

You know,

That type of a person.

So don't audition for roles in someone else's drama.

When you refuse to react,

The show ends.

Why is it important to identify energy vampires in others as well as when you might be an energy vampire?

Because if you don't see the hole in the wall,

You can't fix it.

My famous phrase,

You cannot fix holes in the walls that you do not see.

And so as you begin to like separate yourself from these people and your emotions and you get on top of them,

On top of your emotions.

Now you're activating the neocortex and you're activating the prefrontal lobe.

Now you're activating metacognitive powers,

The ability to observe what's happening inside your own mind.

Think about a mechanic that opens up the hood to fix the engine.

That's what you have to learn how to do.

And when you're doing that,

You're identifying the people that drain you,

The people that infuriate you,

The people that you know are the complainers,

The people that are always gossiping,

The people that are talking out of both sides of the mouth.

And let's face it,

Sometimes that's you,

Sometimes that's me.

We have to become really super aware of it.

Now we can fix it.

What you want to do is you want to acknowledge this from a higher state of consciousness so you can start to put a hold yourself accountable for the people that are in your life and limit your time with them.

And if you are an energy vampire from time to time,

You can knock it off.

You can say,

I refuse to hijack that conversation.

I refuse to interrupt.

I refuse to constantly have a rigid opinion or to inflict my opinion.

I refuse to keep causing drama.

I refuse to keep complaining.

I don't want to be a complainer.

I don't want to be a complainer.

We can also learn to think about what is our intention?

When we are,

Is it a legitimate complaint?

Are we complaining to gain validation and sympathy so we feel more seen?

That's very destructive.

That that is us getting our ego need met through a very self-sabotaging lens.

And that is always going to keep us stuck.

It's not empowering us.

So we want to really be aware and conscious.

That's number one.

So when we stop the drama in ourselves and we put up boundaries with others who are dramatic,

The show ends.

Now,

We,

If we are the energy vampire,

Then we are looking for an emotional reaction from others.

So we stop seeking the emotional reaction from others and we start taking care of our own trauma.

We start coaching.

We go into therapy.

We do self-inquiry work.

We do inner child healing work.

We do energy clearing,

Whatever it is that we have to do.

We make a commitment to ourselves to not do this to other people.

When it's other people doing this to us,

We make a commitment to not react to this person.

So we,

We learn to become non-resistant.

We go very neutral.

So number one,

Practice non-reaction and anchor into presence.

Energy vampires feed on emotional reactivity.

When you get triggered,

They gain temporary energetic control because your nervous system syncs with theirs.

The moment you defend,

Justify,

Or explain,

You've entered their frequency.

Instead,

Stop,

Breathe.

Notice the tightening in your body.

That's your signal to pause.

Anchor your awareness in the present moment.

You might silently repeat to yourself,

This energy isn't mine.

This energy isn't mine.

This energy isn't mine.

By staying centered rather than reactive,

You interrupt the unconscious energetic exchange and reclaim your power.

That mantra,

This energy isn't mine.

I rebuke this energy.

This energy isn't mine.

I rebuke this energy.

It's really shielding you.

I call it the psychological condom.

You're actually putting up metaphoric hands and saying,

No,

You're not going to be able to enter my energetic field.

Like you're not hijacking my mind.

You're not hijacking a chakra.

Nope,

This is your stuff.

This is your stuff.

Number two is set clear,

Consistent boundaries without guilt.

Boundaries aren't walls.

They're filters that protect your emotional bandwidth.

Energy vampires thrive where there's no structure.

They interpret silence as permission and emotional availability as open access.

Communicate limits clearly and calmly.

I can listen for five minutes,

But I need to focus afterward or that's not something I'm able to discuss.

Consistency retrains both your nervous system and theirs.

Teaching them that your empathy no longer equals endless access is key.

Over time,

Your energy field becomes self-protecting rather than self-sacrificing.

So we're teaching the subconscious mind that we can sustain them being uncomfortable without having to fix it.

And we're not going to sacrifice ourselves and our own emotional state.

And we're not going to become ungrounded for someone else anymore.

So we start to teach our nervous system to associate pain with self abandonment.

And as we do that consistently over time,

We really,

We actually upgrade our nervous system and the brain map in our mind.

Number three is remember their behavior is about their regulation and not your worth.

When someone drains your energy,

It's rarely personal.

Sometimes,

Sometimes I would say it is personal.

Sometimes there are people who mark you like a narcissist or a sociopath.

And if you dig even deeper,

Deeper,

Deeper,

Deeper,

It will not be personal because it's projection and you don't even exist in their world,

Quite frankly.

But the average person that's draining you,

It's not personal.

They're so unconscious that they're doing it.

So they're over-talking,

They're complaining or controlling behavior is an unconscious attempt to self-soothe and feel better temporarily.

They're trying to borrow your calm,

Not destroy it.

Recognizing this softens judgment while keeping you awake and conscious.

You can hold compassion without taking responsibility for their emotional state.

This dear one is emotional intelligence and emotional maturity.

The balance between love and discernment.

So here's the final thought.

Every time you choose not to react,

Set a boundary or internalize someone else's pain,

You strengthen your energetic sovereignty.

Healing isn't about fixing energy vampires.

It's remembering that you are not their source for energy,

That they can absolutely take care of their own energy,

But you are part of that process for them by saying no more in whatever way that you need to say that.

Now,

Let's say that you've,

You're realizing that you've taken on someone else's energy and you want to block yourself from their energy.

A couple of quick things that you can do.

I know it sounds silly,

But I do it because it mentally prepares me.

So wear a zip up or wear a sweater that you can button up,

Keep your hands across your chest and turn a little bit to the left or a little bit to the right.

And why do you do that?

You block your heart chakra.

It's a way that you're,

You're letting yourself know that this energy is not allowed to enter your heart space.

It's not allowed to enter your,

Your aura,

If you will.

It's just not allowed.

You're,

You're very aware that this person is a draining person and you're just,

You're just conscious of it.

So wear a zip up,

Wear a button down,

Cross your arms,

Turn to the right,

Turn to the left,

Just shield your energetic space,

Shield your solar plexus from this person.

It'll help you mentally.

Another thing that I do after I get off the phone,

Although I have very few energy vampires in my life these days,

And I,

I don't really know that I,

I don't think I have any at this point because I'm very,

Very conscious about setting boundaries this day,

These days,

Which isn't easy because there are plenty of people that I'd love to rescue and heal,

But I know that I can't because what's wrong is a subconscious pattern.

And until they're willing to see that,

I really can't help them.

But when I've had a conversation with someone who is,

I have,

I perceive as an energy vampire,

Someone who I feel irritated after talking to,

I feel drained.

I feel pushed around by,

Sometimes even angry.

What I'll do is I'll shake my hands,

Just shake my hands,

Shake my hands,

Shake my hands.

And it's like,

I'm discharging their energy from me.

Like I'm saying,

Whoosh,

You know,

Just get out of here.

Like,

Get off of me.

You know,

Like fleas.

I don't want your fleas.

I'll do that.

Another thing that I'll do is I will close my eyes.

I will take a huge deep breath through my nose.

As big as I can,

I'll hold onto it and I'll blow the air out really hard.

And I imagine that I'm blowing out like gray smoke.

And the gray smoke represents any energy that,

That I have taken on from this person unconsciously that I can still feel.

And that is wonderful for resetting your nervous system,

For teaching your brain like,

Okay,

They're gone.

They're out of here.

Like,

I don't have to be on edge anymore.

Only a calm mind can take a deep breath.

And I will do that until I imagine that the gray smoke has turned to white smoke.

And that is like a mental game that I play with myself that represents that the dark energy or the emotional energy of this other person has now left my body.

And so I really hope that this has helped.

I hope that it has raised your ability to be a little bit more cognizant about maybe how you show up or about how other people show up in your life.

Remember,

Dear one,

Self-compassion is key.

If we come from trauma,

Then we're not bad people because we've got stuck complaining that we've got stuck feeling helpless and powerless.

And we have sought approval and validation in sacrificing the self.

Many adult children of alcoholics,

Adult children of narcissistic parents.

We do this.

We don't know any other way.

It could have been no other way.

And we're just trying to get our unconscious needs met.

However,

It's maladaptive.

We don't need to stay in that paradigm.

It's a matrix of childhood trauma.

It's a persona.

The persona is not us.

We are sovereign souls.

We are incarnations of a facet of the divine.

We're consciousness having a human experience.

We are not these stories.

And there is empowerment in emotional recovery,

As long as you intend to be a completely accountable,

Authentic,

Sovereign human being,

Uncontrolled by anything that's happening outside of you and completely controlled by your inner self,

By your authentic self.

And this is a journey that I am on.

I've been on for over 30 years now,

And it gets better and better and better.

But it takes years.

So stick with it.

If this information tugs at your heart,

Good for you.

Good for you.

Good for you.

Stick with it.

Love yourself.

It could be no other way.

There is a way out.

Cling to hope,

Trust,

And faith in your divine self.

Bye for now.

Reviews

This is so helpful for me to understand what is happening in my family 🙏🏽

Wow, Lisa - I'm so glad I found this track! It's so incredibly helpful. It brought me clarity on many points made in your talk & I appreciate the tools, as well as the encouragement. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom & lived experience! Namaste. 🙏🏻💜✨️

Great teaching. I like it that it can get better and it will take some time to learn this information. I need to listen again so I can identify my and my own energy sockers. Thank you for a well time topic.