2 Steps To Create Powerful Positive Mental Shifts

In this episode, Lisa A. Romano Life Coach and Bestselling Author share her 2 steps to creating positive and powerful mental shifts. Living in resistance to what one cannot control is a crazymaking and maddening life experience. Oftentimes, we are unaware we are resistance to many life experiences, which arrest our personal growth. Listen to Lisa help explain her two part system to creating more ease and peace in our lives.

Transcript

Welcome to the Breakdown to Breakthrough podcast.

My name is Lisa A.

Romano.

I am a life coach,

Bestselling author,

YouTube vlogger,

Meditation teacher,

And expert in the field of codependency and narcissistic abuse.

I am a believer in the power of an organized mind.

My aim is to help people learn what it means to live above the veil of consciousness rather than living a reactive life.

May your heart feel blessed,

Your mind feel expanded,

And your spirit find hope as you spend time with me here at the Breakdown to Breakthrough podcast.

So today we're going to be talking about how you can create happiness now.

So today we're talking about how to be happy now or how to be happier now.

And isn't that what all human beings strive for?

Many of us keep striving for the day where we will get the job,

We will get the girl,

We will get the guy,

We will get the house.

It seems like we're in a constant perpetual state of trying to achieve some level of happiness.

I think that before we begin this session,

We recognize that happiness shouldn't be put in a box.

Many of us think that happiness is about an experience.

So we hit the lottery or we get a raise or our girlfriend says,

Yes,

She's going to marry us and we feel happy in the moment.

And then something happens along the line.

Somehow we end up feeling a little bit less happy.

We end up feeling a little bit more empty.

And so our feeling of happiness is rather fleeting.

But when we expand this idea of happiness and we think about,

Well,

What if I associate happiness with something else and we think back to points in our life when we experienced happiness,

Lots of times happiness is tied to a change in our life.

Remember how happy you were when you learned how to read.

Remember how happy you were when you learned how to ride a bike.

So we can assume and presume that happiness is really tied to personal growth.

It's tied to learning something.

It's tied to overcoming something.

And if you can take a moment and just reflect back on your life to the points in your time when you were achieving and reaching and striving,

Maybe you were building a business and every new horizon that you met,

Every new challenge that you met was met with enthusiasm.

Like you didn't even care that this was hard.

You were just interested in achieving the goal.

Rather than look at happiness as just an experience of getting a raise or just an experience of getting a new car or just the experience of gaining validation during a conversation,

If we expand our idea of happiness to include this idea of overcoming challenges and growing,

That can really help us feel happier now because the word happiness isn't in a box.

The first idea that I want to share is this idea of becoming non-resistant to what is.

Essentially that means that I'm going to spend more time.

I'm not going to be mentally lazy.

You cannot live in a world like we live with so much negativity swirling around us and be mentally lazy because you will succumb to the faulty premise that has us believing that what happens to us is all there is.

So many of us don't realize that we can get out ahead of what's happening in our lives and not be mentally lazy and actually decide how we're going to respond to things,

What we're going to focus on on a daily basis,

What we're going to give our attention to,

And how we are going to present ourselves with a particular situation.

Becoming non-resistant to what is doesn't mean that I particularly like what is.

It just means that I have rationally and logically decided that I know what I can control and what I can't control and I'm going to make a conscious decision to release what I can't control and focus more on what I can control.

We lose our way emotionally within ourselves and in the world when we don't have a goal and most of us who are highly emotional,

Most of us who are reacting to triggers,

Most of us who have had difficult childhood upbringings,

Most of us don't realize how emotionally triggered we are and how we get lost in trying to control things that we can't control.

And as we begin to do this personal development work and we take our personal growth journey more seriously,

We realize that we are literally trying to control things that are outside our control.

If anything's maddening,

That's it.

If I try to control what you think about me,

If I try to control what you say about me,

If I try to control how you feel,

What you say,

What you do,

These are not things that I can control.

If you are upset with me and I try to change your opinion of how you feel about me,

It's not really within my control and I could get into a lot of emotional trouble if my focus is trying to convince you that I'm not who you think I am.

Rather than just accepting that you have a right to your perception,

You have a right to your belief,

So you have a right to feel the way you feel.

And my goal then is to surrender to what I can't control and become non-resistant to anything outside of me that is uncomfortable.

So learning to be more comfortable to that which is uncomfortable is really a sign of spiritual growth.

Not reacting or overreacting to what people say or do or how they feel or their life choices.

So you become non-resistant to what you can't control.

The second thing that is really really important is that you have to recognize when you're attaching your happiness to something outside of you and you're attaching then to an outcome.

So I'll be happy when,

I'll be happy if.

This is a very destructive way to live your life and I live my life that way at a level one consciousness,

Unaware that I was unaware,

Living out my childhood patterns,

Repetition,

Compulsion,

Unaware that I thought that when I received approval from particularly my parents or my ex-husband then everything would be wonderful in my world.

Or if I was able to fix someone else and they acknowledged that I was the one that fixed them then that meant that I had some worth in this world.

So my worth was tied to other people,

My worth was tied to how other people felt about me.

And so my enoughness,

My ability to feel integrated in my own skin,

To feel safe in my own skin was tied to something outside of me.

It was tied to an outcome that I could not control.

It was attached to an outcome.

So learning to be happier in the now really has to involve some mental thinking.

You cannot be mentally lazy.

If you are in a state of complete resistance to what's happening in your world at work and in the world and in your relationships in your home,

If you're in resistance you can't get to a state of peace and non-resistance from a place of resistance.

Somehow we'd have to help you develop the ability to become non-resistant to what has manifested and to then even maybe get excited about the potential,

A future goal that can happen as a result of you being in less resistance.

My life is proof.

When I was banging up against the walls trying to control everybody,

What everybody thought about me,

What I thought that my sister-in-law should do this and my ex-husband should do that,

And I was really upset when people didn't listen to me as a codependent trying to fix everyone's life and then feeling really defeated when people continue to make a mess out of their life,

When I below the veil of consciousness felt over responsible for people's irresponsibility,

I was banging into the walls.

I was in resistance to people making mistakes.

I was in resistance to people being in dysfunctional marriages.

I wanted to save everybody and when I was in resistance to what was happening around me,

All I felt was inflammation,

All I felt was stagnant,

All I felt was sick and diseased and when I began to understand the lesson of non-resistance,

Lisa,

In order for you to be happy,

In order for your body to relax,

You have to accept what you can't control.

Like this is none of your business and you don't have a right to tell people how to live their life.

Like live your own life,

Figure out your life before you tell everybody how to live their life and it really was a matter when I broke it down and I tried to figure out a step,

It was become non-resistant to what is.

Just become non-resistant,

Accept whatever beautiful mess is standing before you and know that this is temporary and the less you resist it,

The quicker you'll get out of it.

The second lesson was don't attach to an outcome.

So as you become more spiritually empowered,

As you become less codependent,

As you become more self-loving and less resistant to what you can't control,

As you become more logical and reasonable when it comes to where is the line between what you can control versus what you can't control,

Then you have to become non-resistant and non-attached to an outcome.

So that means that as you begin to find peace within your body,

You're not attaching your happiness outside of you anymore.

You're learning to be more happy now.

How do you do that?

That step involves waking up every day with the intention to complain less and to be grateful more.

So if you are in the habit of complaining,

You wake up and the minute your eyes open you start complaining,

What you want to do is you really want to look at that.

Some teachers will tell you ignore that I'm the type of teacher that I'm like no I want to know exactly what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it.

So get out a journal and start observing your thoughts and write down all the complaints that you have for the day.

See what comes up for you.

It will be very shaking for you when you realize that perhaps you complain 100 times a day.

Maybe you complain 200 times a day.

And when you start to look at your children and you think about what they're absorbing and then you go to work and you imagine how you speak and what your employees are absorbing and what your husband or your spouse,

Your wife is listening to you or your grandparents,

Your mother,

Your father,

Lion,

Tigers and bears,

You start to realize how you're showing up in the world and that's when you can take more accountability for what comes out of your mouth.

So at that point once you identify what's wrong now you've identified the hole in the wall now you can fix it.

So then you gently start working towards replacing those thoughts with more lovely thoughts,

More thoughts about gratitude.

So you wake up the next morning and rather than complain about the dog waking you up you decide to be appreciative that the dog is okay,

That the dog isn't sick anymore,

That the dog is so playful,

That the dog brings so much love and light into your life.

So you begin to change the negative thinking to more grateful thoughts and over time this will help you shift.

So to recap the goal for becoming happier in your life now is to become non-resistant and to figure out what you can control versus what you can't control and then to no longer attach your happiness to an external outcome.

Your goal is to become happier and more non-resistant and more full of gratitude in the now no matter what is happening you in the outer world.

That's how you take accountability and responsibility for how you show up in the world and as you shift from thinking less negatively and more positively you become a magnet for all the things that you desire that exist at the level of a higher frequency and as you change how you see the world energetically you shift and as you shift your world shifts right along with you.

So you really do have to become the change you want to see in the world and when you do that's when your world will shift and that's when you help to change the world.

That's how important you are.

Namaste dear ones until next time.

Bye for now.

Reviews

🙏🏽

I love Lisa's message. Always reaffirming. I relisten to her podcast repeatedly. I get something different from each episode depending on where I am in my recovery. She tells it straight and from a lived experience. ❤️🙏🌺

Inspirational!

I love Lisa’s talks!

Absolutely love your talks and so appreciate you. ❤️

So helpful! Thank you 🌸🙏🏻

Love this! Thank you! 🙏🏻🕉