Welcome to the Scanziety meditation.
Scanziety refers to the feelings of fear and anxiety that we can feel when there are scans and tests coming up,
And it can be a really debilitating thing.
We may feel fear,
Worry,
Stress,
Panic,
Or all of the above.
If you've heard any of my other cancer-related meditations,
You'll know I'm all about feeling our feelings and working with them rather than trying to push them away or drown them in toxic positivity.
The only way past it is through it.
So let's move through it together.
Before we start,
I need to say that if you are feeling extremely fearful or anxious,
Or maybe considering not having your scan or test,
Then I think you should talk to your nurse,
GP,
Oncologist,
A counsellor.
Anyone who has training in these responses can help if you think they are moving towards the extreme end of the spectrum.
Please seek help and please take very good care of yourself.
This meditation will be about an hour long.
I'll talk for the first part and you can finish up then,
Or you can carry on listening to the peaceful music for the rest of the hour.
It's entirely up to you.
Okay,
Let's begin.
Let's start by stretching arms up overhead,
Whether you're sitting or lying down.
If you don't have room above you,
Please stretch out to the side.
Yawn,
Stretch,
Wiggle.
Gently move from side to side.
Maybe sway like a tree in the breeze,
Or take a twist if you're lying down.
Ring out your organs with slow,
Easy movement.
If you're listening to this in a waiting room or even inside some kind of scanning machine,
You won't be able to do this,
But just go with what works.
Even taking gentle circles with your closed eyes could work.
Take some deep breaths.
If you're on your own,
Feel free to exhale with a whoosh out,
Pushing out the breath with a little bit of force behind it.
If you've just had notification of an upcoming scan and you're freaking out,
Then know I've got your back.
All of us who've been there have got your back.
It's so totally normal to have a negative response to scans and tests.
When going through treatment,
We have so many tests and pokes and sometimes it feels like our body isn't our own.
Even the gentlest and kindest nurse can still take multiple tries to find a vein,
And these painful memories can remain in the body.
Additionally,
The very act of receiving a cancer diagnosis is traumatic in itself,
And so facing the potential for more bad news is anxiety-inducing.
It can feel like being re-traumatized every time the scan or test comes around.
I'm always amazed at how quickly I feel triggered into fear if I feel a lump or when I get my mammogram call up.
So there's nothing wrong with feeling this way,
And hopefully with time the response will dull or soften.
But it might be something that is with us for a long time,
And we will learn to live with it if we acknowledge and understand it.
You may be able to speak with the medical team and let them know how you're feeling.
If they don't know,
They may assume you're fine with it.
There could be things they can do to help.
Provide a calm support person,
Give you a sedative,
Or perhaps send out scan notifications on a different time frame or via a different method.
Try and figure out where the triggers lie and if there's anything that can be done to help matters.
Maybe there's a different type of scan that doesn't involve a needle or a specific machine that is upsetting for you.
Counseling may help if you're able to access it,
Or talking to a support group.
Sometimes just saying that you feel this way and have understanding reflected back goes a long way.
But ultimately we care about our health and scans and tests are necessary to our long-term treatment.
So if you find yourself stressing about a scan,
Whether it's months out or you're literally in the machine right now,
Let's do some breathing together and start finding some peace and relaxation.
Make sure you're as comfortable as you can be.
If you've lost connection to your breath,
Reclaim it now.
Notice your breath,
Feel it or hear it,
Recognize it for the constant friend that it is.
Tune into your breath,
Deepen it,
And move your inhale into your belly and out slowly and calmly.
What we have already been through is pretty awful,
But we have made it through.
We can do hard things.
We want to have the best health possible no matter our situation and that means the medical team needs as much quality information as they can get.
It's not ideal but we can do this together.
When it's time for the test or scan,
Don't forget to breathe deeply and fully into your belly.
Speak your feelings,
Tell people you're scared or worried and ask them to support you.
It's okay to cry,
You don't have to staunch it out.
Sometimes strength is about acknowledging the fear and pain rather than pretending it's not happening.
Breathe,
Breathe.
Now it's time to relax and listen to the music.
I'm coming to the end of my guiding and we can either sign off here or stay and relax into the music.
I hope your scan or test goes smoothly and I hope you find it to be helpful.
I'm Dr.
Amy and I wish you comfort and peace.
Thank you for spending this time with me.
