Introverted And Extroverted Styles Of Charisma Explained

When we think of charisma, we often envision extroverts who radiate energy, sociability, and enthusiasm. But charisma doesn’t belong to extraverts alone—introverts have their own powerful style of influence, rooted in mystery, presence, depth, and calm authority. This audio will break down both unique styles of charisma equally.

In this audio, I break down:

- The psychology of charisma and how it shows up differently in extroverts vs. introverts
- Big 5 personality traits linked to extroversion (sociability, gregariousness, positive emotions, energy, assertiveness, and excitement-seeking) and how low scores of these traits (aka introversion) show up
- What makes extroverts shine in groups, leadership, and high-energy environments
- How introverts captivate through mystery, one-on-one intensity, silence, and grounded presence
- Why both introverted and extroverted charisma can be magnetic in their own ways

Transcript

Hey this is Ish and in today's talk I'll be going over the differences between how introverts display charismatic qualities versus how extroverts display charisma.

And first I want to go over what charisma is and this is the ability to influence and also captivate other people in social interactions and how an introvert does this and how an extrovert does this can differ.

So I'll first go over now the big five personality type test model and specifically one of the facets of that which is extroversion.

So the big five personality type test model has five different facets and those are openness,

Conscientiousness,

Extroversion which is what we'll focus on here,

Agreeableness and neuroticism.

Now for the trait of extroversion this is made up of different factors which I'll go over in a second and where you fall within the spectrum can basically label you as more of an extrovert or more of an introvert.

So an introvert in this model is basically someone with low extroversion.

So the traits of extroversion are sociability,

Gregariousness,

Displaying positive emotions,

Your energy levels and assertiveness and excitement seeking.

So if you score very high in these traits you can be labeled as an extrovert and if you score very low in these traits you'll be labeled as an introvert.

So let's go over now the groupings of sociability,

Gregariousness and positive emotions and how that kind of shows up in a person's charisma style.

So sociability is the tendency to enjoy being around other people,

To seek out social gatherings and to feel comfortable in groups and conversations.

Gregariousness is the desire for frequent social interactions so it actually gives you energy and the preference to be around other people rather than being alone.

And then positive emotions is the tendency to be really cheerful,

To be very excited,

To feel very upbeat and enthusiastic.

So when you take these together,

Crank it really high,

You have someone who's more extroverted and you can really see that in their communication style.

They always seem very happy,

Surrounded by other people,

Just laughing a lot and displaying a lot of positive emotions.

So the reason why this extroverted style of charisma works is due to the psychology principle known as the halo effect,

Also known as social proof,

Where we when we see other people that are that is part of a group that is well liked by other people,

That is surrounded by other people,

We will tend to ascribe to them positive qualities even if we don't know them too well.

And this is why when a person is surrounded by a lot of friends,

We just automatically think okay that this person is popular,

Well-liked,

We may think of them as more confident.

So we ascribe these qualities to them.

And when you look at gregariousness and positive emotions,

This is a really attractive quality because it's very contagious.

We want to be around people that are positive,

Upbeat,

And this can actually change the energy in the room.

You might have noticed this in highly extroverted people that are always really cheerful.

They kind of have this celebrity or star effect where when they walk into the room,

They light up the room.

And that's actually a very common analogy that's used or saying we say that okay that person lights up the room.

Basically what that means is that this person is so positive and bright that they actually shifted the energy of the entire room.

So how great is that?

But now let's look at the introverted side of this.

So if you score very low in sociability,

Low in gregariousness,

Low in positive emotions,

This may not be a disadvantage.

Actually there are some good qualities that come with introversions too.

And one of the things is that you can appear more mysterious if you're highly introverted.

And because you're not out interacting with people all the time and you don't need to be seen all the time,

Basically this creates this aura of mystery where people are like okay what is this person up to?

And they start to get curious because they don't really see you that often.

And we tend to value that which is scarce.

This is another psychology principle known as law of scarcity.

So when we don't see a person that often and their time is limited and we perceive their time as very valuable and we don't have many opportunities to interact with them,

They're not as available in the public,

We will tend to look for them a bit more,

Be more curious,

Start to wonder and also see them more of a prize essentially.

And we work a little bit harder to get their attention.

And I've also noticed that highly introverted people may not be as active on social media or maybe not post at all or not even have social media to begin with.

And this further adds to this curiosity effect where we start to wonder what they're up to.

So this is how introverts can have this quality of charisma also.

And I've noticed this in very highly charismatic introverted people.

They aren't out in the public but they're a little bit mysterious and you're just like what are they up to?

You're very curious about them.

Now when we look into the next facet of extroversion,

This is energy levels and essentially your level of energy.

So people who have very high energy levels,

Who are very extroverted,

Like to do a lot.

They're always doing things,

Always in your face.

And with this we can be drawn to really extroverted people that are very energetic because essentially what happens is in quieter environments that aren't as stimulating,

The extroverts can actually take the energy away from everyone else and actually bring it onto them.

Which is not something they do naturally.

Something that is unconscious.

But just because they're a bit louder,

They talk more,

They do more.

They're kind of like the shiny object in the room that simply pulls energy away to them.

Obviously you can also be very obnoxious and that's also another way to energy.

But if done in the right way,

Extroverts are really masters of naturally just taking the energy and drawing to them because they're simply just pushing this energy out so other people are reacting to them.

And this kind of has a spotlight effect on them.

And on the other side of things,

When you look at the introverted style of charisma,

When someone has very low levels of energy,

What they can do is they can actually pull the energy to them and have the certain sense of gravitas or groundedness,

Which I've also made other talks on,

On how to be more grounded.

So there's another secret to charisma and that is you can also learn to simply do less and have more.

So you can be the anchor of the conversation or you can be the grounding presence in the room without really doing that much or being much or doing more or talking more.

So you can actually sit back and just be.

And this is also another great way that introverts can draw people into them.

So instead of pushing out,

You're drawing in.

So again,

You can do this through grounding.

Another way to do this is through silence,

Taking pauses in conversations.

And introverts can also hold conversational vacuums where they take pauses and don't initiate all the time,

But sit back.

And this actually gets the other person to start to talk to them and start to open up a bit more.

And there's also something to be said about the power of listening as well.

And that's very powerful.

And something I should have added actually,

But it goes a long way for adding towards your charisma is the ability to listen to other people and make them feel that they're most important person in the room.

It's a very powerful trait right there that introverts do well naturally.

Now let's look at the next facet,

Which is assertiveness.

So this is a confident and dominant social style involving leadership,

Usually influence the tendency to want to speak up,

Take charge,

Control the social situation.

And as an extrovert myself,

And on the higher end of extroversion,

I definitely feel this natural,

Say inclination to want to make plans to be the leader of the group to make the plans to take charge.

Something I've always done,

Even since I was like five years old.

But some people don't like that.

And they prefer to kind of sit back and not push it out.

But I think why this works well in terms of the extroverted style of charisma is that you are seen as a leader because you're the ones making the plan you're initiating,

You are handling certain logistics.

So there's a lot of energy that is involved,

Which ties into the last point I've made.

If you do want to say be a because you have to account for other people,

Certain logistics,

If you're planning something,

You have to be involved with certain backup plans,

How to direct certain things to also communicate with other people,

There's a lot that goes into it.

And if you don't naturally have this inclination or the energy levels can be very difficult.

But if you do have this,

You can actually be an effective leader.

And through this extroverted style of communicating and rallying So highly charismatic people that are extroverted are also seen as leaders because they display very high levels of assertiveness,

Vision,

And leading people towards a certain goal.

Now for people that are less assertive,

Or just highly introverted,

Where they just have no need really to interact with groups,

And they prefer to do their own thing,

Not really get involved.

With this,

This can also be an advantage for them because they can be a bit more easygoing,

Less intense,

They're not like all over the place in your face,

Like a lot of extroverts.

And they're simply doing a lot,

Right?

They're not really controlling.

So they can sit back,

Relax.

And there's something magnetic to this quality too.

Because they're very chill,

Laid back,

They can go with the flow.

They're also easier to hang out with.

And also very good in one on one settings,

Because they're with another person and they can just simply just be as they are.

And they're also easygoing and accommodating towards plants as well.

So now going on to the next trait,

And that is excitement seeking.

So willingness to seek out thrills,

Novel experience,

Physical or social stimulation.

This is really related to the dopamine pathways.

And extroverts really thrive on dopamine.

We like to look outside into the world for rewards,

To go after things,

To be stimulated.

So we seek that outside ourselves.

And having very,

Very high scores of excitement seeking,

As I do,

I can definitely see this where you just want to do more,

Have fun,

Just seek out the thrills of life.

And one of the advantages of this extroverted style of communication is that you can be very fun.

And we again,

We want to be around fun people that light up the room and don't take themselves seriously and just have fun Yeah,

Let's have a good time.

And the reason why this charismatic style really works is that we want to be around this energy,

We want to let loose,

Life can be stressful,

Life can be hard,

And we just want to let loose.

And the extrovert can be this charismatic leader of having fun and spreading this out to other people.

I mean,

This is why a lot of concerts and clubs and bars and social gatherings are all you know,

Created is to have people come together and just let loose.

It's a very powerful thing that can uplift your mood.

And this is why extroverts really do well socially.

Now,

For introverts,

So someone who's very low in excitement seeking,

They tend to be very contented from within.

And actually,

There's a lot of wisdom here too,

Because,

You know,

I've also studied a lot of meditation,

Spirituality,

Yoga,

You know,

Also teach that here.

And all the spiritual texts and traditions actually point to this style where you're not seeking anything from outside yourself,

But rather looking in,

You're contented from within.

So again,

This draws back to this quality of drawing energy from within rather than seeking out.

And this can also be very powerful,

Because you can realize that you actually need less from the world to be happy,

If you're very highly introverted.

And you can also appear more stable,

Because one of the downsides of very high levels of excitement seeking is that you can also seem unreliable and scatterbrained.

Always moving from one thing,

Novelty seeking all the time,

Is constantly just distracted,

Moving around all the time.

You can be perceived as very flaky.

But when you have very low levels of this,

You can be contented from within,

You can have deeper relationships and actually grow the roots of the tree rather than kind of going out in the clouds.

So stability,

Reliability,

And being contented from within are all very powerful traits.

And actually contentment and enjoyment of the moment,

Just as it is,

Is actually a very predictable trait of leadership.

So if you're grateful for what you have,

This can be very powerful.

And this is why introverts have this natural charismatic style is because they don't need to go out to find it,

They can be sourced within.

And this can have a magnetic effect where it can pull people in.

So I hope you like this talk on how extroverts and introverts display charismatic qualities differently.

I guess if we can take one one takeaway from this,

It would be that the general mindset or method of which introverts display their charismatic qualities is through drawing energy within and kind of being this magnet that pulls people in,

It's kind of like gravity just kind of pulls it in without saying or doing as much.

So this grounding effect can be very powerful.

And on the other hand,

The extroverted style is more outwards,

It's it's kind of pushing energy out.

And this can also be very influential,

Because you are kind of directing attention outwards,

And gaining influence.

And you can visibly see these qualities out.

And it is a lot easier to spot.

So this is why extroverts can oftentimes have the upper hand initially,

Due to first impressions.

So this is just a different style.

But again,

There are pros and cons to both.

And you can learn as time goes on,

If you're very introverted,

Or very extroverted,

How to find the strengths within both.

So if you're highly introverted,

You can actually have this grounding quality,

Which can also be looked over.

And you can also just be ignored oftentimes.

And you can kind of balance this out by bringing on some of the outward expansion,

Kind of drawing energy out.

And for highly extroverted people,

You can learn how to ground yourself to be more stable.

So you can draw the energy from within,

Rather than kind of constantly chasing and that can also cause a lot of problems as well.

So I hope you like this talk.

Thank you.