Becoming The Calm In The Storm

In this talk, I discuss how to navigate the “storm” of chaotic emotions and life circumstances so you can become the calm, grounded presence that makes others feel safe. I’ll cover three key aspects of spiritual practice that help you embody this calmness, and explore how your personal practice can positively influence the world around you.

Transcript

Hey,

This is Ish,

And in today's talk I'll be going over how to find peace and inner calm,

Especially if you're currently in a lifestyle which is very chaotic.

And this is why I'll title this talk,

Becoming the Calm in the Storm.

So I'll be going over my starting point on my spiritual journey,

And this is where I'd probably describe myself as being the storm in my life and other people's lives.

And then over time,

As a result of practicing meditation in an overarching spiritual discipline,

I found different ways to experience calm both on my cushion and also some of the spillover effects it has on people all around me.

And this is something you'll also experience on your journey as well,

If you're committed to a longer path in your spiritual practice.

And lastly,

I'll be going over how when you're established in a particular practice,

This can actually provide peace for other people all around you.

And I think especially in today's modern world where everything is moving so fast and people are distracted definitely more than ever,

And people are reactive more than ever,

Your inner sense of peace can stand out a bit more and actually have a soothing effect on the world at large.

So I'll be describing that process.

So I can definitely say that when first starting out on my meditation journey,

I would describe myself more as the storm in my life and other people's lives,

Just because of a combination of various traits and things that were happening.

So I was definitely leading a very hedonistic lifestyle,

Definitely very high in ADHD traits,

Had a lot of addictions,

Past traumas.

I was very reactive,

Reckless,

Neurotic,

Distracted,

Volatile also,

And also just angry at the world and myself in general.

And my mindfulness at the time was very lacking.

So I was unable to really control my emotions.

I was constantly getting reactive over little things.

And I was not in control over my emotions.

And the emotional stability was something that I had to really work on and spend hours a day meditating because of just where I came from.

So naturally in the beginning,

I sought out various contemplative traditions and meditative disciplines to work on these aspects of my life.

And what is really great about all the major contemplative traditions,

No matter what you look,

Is that they're made up of three general categories of trainings.

So this would be a moral aspect where you're working on your ethics and how you conduct yourself,

And also how you observe your own actions and the things that you put out in the world.

And there's also a component of concentrating and calming the mind.

So this is meditation.

And there's also a wisdom aspect of a lot of these traditions as well.

And in the yogic and Buddhist traditions,

These trainings are pretty well laid out.

So in Buddhism,

For example,

The morality piece is known as shila.

And this involves taking ethical precepts,

For example.

And then there is the concentration aspect,

Which is the meditation,

Which I've talked about a lot in this channel,

And learning how to calm and concentrate the mind,

Focusing on an object,

Developing this inner collectedness.

And then there's obviously the wisdom aspect,

Which is in Buddhism,

Seeing the three marks of existence,

Noticing things like the changing conditions of the world of impermanence,

Of no self,

Of things that bring suffering,

Or at least unsatisfactoriness,

Because it is inherent in the nature.

And then finding a peace and stability in your own practice,

Where you become less pulled by the conditions of the world of attachments,

And you develop a different relationship to the objects in the world.

And as you continue to practice and actually uphold some of these trainings,

And see the results in your life,

You'll actually notice your overall lifestyle start to change from one that may have been a bit more chaotic,

Destructive,

And reckless,

To experiencing more and more peace and stability in your life.

And this is because of the effects that the three trainings will have on your life.

So as you clean up your lifestyle and work on not causing any harm through your actions in the world,

And you start to clean up your act,

This will actually create conditions of non-remorse in your mind,

Where you're not regretting something you've done,

Because you've obviously taken care of that beforehand,

And working on living a virtuous lifestyle.

And you find that when you do this,

It'll be easier to concentrate the mind,

Which is the next training.

It's easier to become still and peaceful,

Because the mind is not agitated.

And when you really focus in on meditation and calming the mind and finding pleasure from within,

Rather than the opposite,

Which is a lot of sensation seeking,

Which some of us may find pleasure with and stimulation with,

It's a different kind of way of operating.

Because when you find the pleasure within,

You'll simply need less and less stimulation from the outside world,

Because it is,

Again,

Generated from within.

And this will cause you to become more calm,

More centered within.

You lose that chasing quality out in the world,

Or this restlessness,

Where you constantly need to be doing the next thing.

And this will naturally lead to wisdom practices,

Where when the mind is and collected and equanimous,

You will find it easier to look into certain aspects of reality,

To look at the way your mind works,

How it's distracted,

Because it is obviously a lot easier to do this when you have a cooler mind that isn't agitated or restless.

So you can look into things like your lifestyle,

You can look into wisdom factors like impermanence,

Or no-self,

Or stressful nature of certain things from a Buddhist standpoint.

Or you can gain more discernment to look at everything in your life to see how it either produces a state of peace and well-being,

Or whether it takes away from your life and causes more harm in both yourself and other people.

You can see the fruits of your actions.

So these are just a few things I've mentioned here that come from the wisdom aspect of things.

And these different trainings of working on the ethical component,

Of concentrating the mind,

And the wisdom practices of non-attachment,

Of seeing things clearly,

Of looking into these different factors like I mentioned,

All work hand in hand and they're interconnected.

So as you develop in your concentration,

It'll be easier to develop wisdom.

And as you've developed the quality of wisdom,

You're more likely to make better ethical choices.

And you can obviously then see things with a clearer mind that isn't agitated,

And it works in a virtuous feedback loop going forward.

So as you continue to practice,

You'll notice some of these benefits in your life.

And you slowly,

Over time,

Become more centered within,

And more calm,

And less reactive and pulled by unconscious habits of things that you weren't really aware of,

Of things that have happened to you in the past,

And different things in the world as well.

Well,

You may ask,

Well,

How does this particular practice that I'm doing affect the world at large?

And how do I become the calm in the storm,

Like the title suggests?

Well,

When you learn to become well-established in your own meditation practice,

And you are centered from within,

And you are less attached to the things of the world,

You become your own focal point,

And you become like an anchor.

You are less swayed by the opinions of others,

Of different events going on in the world,

Of habitual and reactive patterns in your mind,

And you become more still and calm,

More on a day-to-day basis.

And this definitely stands out more in today's modern times,

As we have things like social media and TikTok nowadays,

Which has a lot of short-form content,

Where people's attention spans are actually getting shorter and shorter.

And people are more restless than ever,

Distracted,

They are unable to focus,

And they may be very reactive.

And of course,

You may have started off being very reactive,

Very distracted also.

But because of your practice,

You have learned certain qualities of how to embody calm,

Of presence,

Finding your inner peace,

And being contented from within,

Rather than chasing things outside yourself.

And as a result of this,

You become a safe person or an anchor in the room,

Or the calm and storm for other people.

Because with our fast-paced modern world,

Where work output is highly regarded and being competitive and being very ambitious,

It's all very prized.

And also this quality of distractibility and being very restless all the time can really be seen everywhere.

So your calm actually stands out in this type of environment.

And you can see this firsthand when you,

Say,

Go to a social gathering where people are fidgeting,

They're unable to rest in silence,

They constantly need to say something,

They're distracted,

They're not truly present with another person.

These are just a few ways you can notice this.

And you can be that one person in the room that is completely calm,

Centered within,

That isn't freaking out,

Is able to handle things just because you've developed your practice from within.

So this is one of the joys of your practice,

Is that you not only work on your own processes and things that you had to go through,

And in fact even face the fact that you may have been a chaotic person in the world or the storm in the room,

And learn to actually calm all these forces down,

These energies,

Learn to be calm from within,

But then also give that gift to other people.

So it can actually come full circle,

Where if you're coming up from a place of struggle,

Where you were completely chaotic,

Destructive,

And just causing chaos in the world,

And you had a person that was a safe person that guided you,

That mentored you,

You can actually become that person through the practice and actually help other people as well.

And you also learn this quality of empathy as well,

Because you have gone through a certain journey of struggle and you can then not want other people to go through the same thing you did,

So you can then be the source of inspiration for other people.

And this inspiring force will also then bleed out and make very positive changes in the world.

And this is how you can change the world at large,

Through being an inspiration,

Through your guidance,

And through showing a positive example to others that does not force or try to,

You know,

Advertise to other people like the modern world,

But just more through your quiet presence alone.

And that is a very powerful thing.