Let's do a foundational self-compassion practice together.
Self-compassion brings the two wings of mindfulness and compassion together to help us shift how we relate to the harder moments in life.
At its core,
Self-compassion is about opening your heart to your own direct experience,
Responding to yourself in the same way that you would to a friend who is in a similar situation.
We all have natural compassion,
And we can strengthen the compassion that we have as we direct it to our inner experience real time.
And remember,
Whatever we practice gets stronger.
Over time,
With practice,
It becomes easier to respond to ourselves with kindness.
Let's practice together.
Begin by sitting in a way that's relaxed,
Easy,
And alert.
Whatever is comfortable for you.
You may want to have your feet flat on the floor,
With your back straight,
But not stiff.
You can close your eyes if you like,
Or gaze down at the floor in front of you.
Whatever is comfortable for you.
You're just minimizing distractions,
Allowing yourself to arrive right here.
Now bring a gentle attention to your body breathing.
Take three easy breaths.
Bringing awareness to the world of sensation in your body.
Just seeing whatever you might notice.
Energy,
Tingling,
Pulsations,
Being aware of what it means to be human,
Right here,
Right now.
Now bring attention back to the breath,
Noticing your inhale and your exhale.
Just resting attention on breathing.
So now,
Think of a situation in your life that feels stressful,
Difficult,
Or maybe you're finding it hard to navigate.
There might be a situation at work with a coworker,
Colleague,
Or client.
Perhaps it's in a personal relationship,
Or you've received a challenging medical diagnosis.
Or maybe there's a situation in your life where you felt hurt,
Or left out,
Or treated unfairly.
Maybe you're dealing with change or uncertainty,
Or you're wrestling with something where there just seems to be no clear way forward.
Bring the situation to mind,
Almost as if it's a movie,
And you're stepping into the scene.
What do you notice?
Are there sounds you hear?
Maybe a breeze?
People around,
Or are you by yourself?
As you allow yourself to fully step into the situation,
Start to tune into any unease in the body.
You're observing your body from the inside out.
You might have sensations of heaviness,
Or tightness,
Or butterflies,
Or maybe your hands are sweaty,
Or your pulse is racing.
You're just tuning in.
Recognizing what you feel and where you feel it.
As you make contact with the felt sensations in your body,
You can begin with our first step in the self-compassion practice,
Mindfulness.
You're recognizing your direct experience.
You can say to yourself slowly and clearly,
This is hard,
Or this is difficult,
Or this is stressful,
Or this hurts.
You're recognizing,
Allowing,
And naming that this is difficult.
This is hard.
Next,
Connect with the idea that you're not alone.
That this is part of our common humanity,
Our shared experience of being human.
You can say to yourself slowly and clearly,
I'm not the only one who's experienced this.
This is part of being human.
Suffering is part of being alive.
Or others feel just like me in this or similar situations.
I'm not alone.
And for the third step in our self-compassion practice,
We access the natural compassion that's within and direct it inwardly to ourselves.
I like to place a hand on my heart.
Some people put it on the side of their face,
Or you can even take one hand and hold the wrist of the other.
We're using touch to release the soothing neurotransmitter of oxytocin.
So do that now.
And you can say to yourself,
What do you need?
What will help here?
Or I sometimes say,
It's okay,
Sweetheart.
You can also bring in loving kindness phrases.
May I be kind to myself.
May I give myself what I need right now.
May I accept myself as I am.
May I have the courage and strength to take effective action.
It can help to imagine a dear friend or loved one in the same situation as you.
What would you say to this person in your kindest,
Most open-hearted way without giving advice?
What words of kindness or encouragement come to mind?
If your friend were to hold just a phrase that you shared in their mind,
What would it be?
What message would you like to offer straight to the heart of this fellow human being?
Feeling the weight of your hand on your chest or wherever it feels supportive,
Now offer that same warm,
Caring message to yourself.
Allow the mind and body to settle into the space of self-compassion.
You can say to yourself,
May I feel safe in this moment.
May I be free of fear,
Stress,
Anxiety,
Worry.
May I accept myself just as I am,
Right here,
Right now.
May I know that I can be wise and skillful.
Deepen attention into this moment of calm,
Holding yourself and your experience,
Whatever it is,
With self-awareness and acceptance,
Breathing in a sense of calm,
Soothing and inner peace.
Finally,
Letting go and resting awareness on the breath.
From here,
You can take skillful action.
You might choose to do something that will help you feel a sense of movement in a good direction.
Thank you for practicing with me.
May you be well.
