Finding Real Freedom

There is a true, lasting freedom in the realization that nothing anyone says or does has anything to do with you. Moksha! My dear friend, Pierre Bensusan, has permitted me to use his track called ‘Sentimentales Pyromaniaques’ from the album 'Altiplanos'.

Transcript

Welcome to In the Flow,

A positivity-provoking podcast designed to lift us up to that higher place to live our best lives.

We will laugh,

Cry,

Meditate,

And discuss any and all things spiritual to learn and remove any stigma surrounding spiritual gifts,

Meditation,

Prayer,

And the afterlife.

So today I want to talk about why people take things so personally.

Okay?

Obviously,

Well I shouldn't say obviously because maybe some of you aren't familiar with it,

But there is a book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

If you've never heard of it and you want,

I mean,

It's just mind boggling and life changing.

First time I read it,

It just rocked my world.

And that's like a whole other conversation truly.

However,

The idea of how we take things so personally in our lives,

Down to the way that the checkout person at the grocery store doesn't respond when we say hello,

Right?

We take that personally.

Why didn't they respond?

Did they not hear me?

Did they just ignore me?

We make everything that everybody does in the world about us.

And isn't that when you say that out loud,

Or at least I feel that way,

When I say that out loud,

It sounds absurd,

Right?

It's like I instantly understand that,

Right?

I understand that it's absurd.

Everything that we do is about us,

Right?

And that sounds kind of,

I don't know if the word is arrogant or egotistical or whatever that is,

Right?

But the reality is that,

Because we're taught to be,

We're grown up,

A lot of us,

We're taught to be gracious and caring,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

Think about the other person in terms of that.

Our life is about us.

It's our experiences,

Right?

So when we go to the grocery store and that person doesn't respond,

We're like,

We take it about us.

What did I do?

Do I look bad?

Do I smell bad?

What's wrong with me?

But the reality is it's about them.

Maybe they just broke up with their partner or maybe,

I mean,

The scenarios are endless,

What it could be,

You know?

And to take that even further,

I take that to a place of like,

Another example is like road rage.

And you may have heard me talk about this before,

But road rage,

I try so hard to be patient and caring about road rage,

Right?

Or not about road rage,

But about a crazy driver on the road because you don't know.

Maybe they're trying to,

Oh,

I'm going to get emotional.

I don't know why.

They could be trying to get to the hospital to say goodbye to somebody.

You don't know,

But we take it personally.

We say,

What am I going too slow?

What really?

You know,

I mean,

We take it so personally,

So I can't help it.

But imagine a world,

And I have a feeling that Don Miguel Ruiz probably thought about this when he was writing that book.

Can you imagine a world where we don't take anything personally and we get compassionate towards the other person?

Look at me.

I'm just,

I'm all emotional.

I mean,

Imagine a world where we don't take anything personally and we consider,

Even just consider the other person on the other side and what they may be going through.

You know,

That checkout person at the grocery store.

You know,

Maybe they just got some devastating news.

We don't know.

Maybe it is about us.

So what at that point?

You know what I'm saying?

It's like at that point when you consider,

Oh,

Look at me crying.

Oh my gosh.

When you consider all of that,

Then you think,

Even if we know not to take it personally,

Even if they do think that it's about us,

You kind of end up then going to the place of so what?

That's their problem then at that point,

Right?

You know,

Even if we're right,

Oh,

This is so crazy.

I'm just like thinking this through and considering this,

Even if somebody is thinking,

She's just too happy.

I think that a lot.

You know,

Somebody will be like looking kind of grumpy and I'll be like,

Hi,

How are you?

And I'll get a look back and I'll think they think I'm too happy,

You know,

Because I take it personally.

Oh,

Well,

You know what?

I need to live my life the way I live my life,

Right?

It's so,

Isn't that an interesting concept?

This whole thing is just,

You know,

It's just,

They need to teach this in schools,

Don't you think?

They need to teach this in the schools not to take stuff so personally.

Can you imagine having a whole generation of kids getting that it's about the individual.

It's not about you.

You know what I mean?

Wow.

That would be crazy.

Kind of like,

Can you imagine if they taught meditation in schools?

I mean that goes right along with it too,

You know?

So that's what we're focusing on today.

So there you go.

Imagine that we're going to meditate on this.

Right?

Okay,

So let's get ourselves comfortable because yes,

It's a,

It's going to be a great day,

Right?

So,

Okay,

Let's close our eyes whenever you feel comfortable.

And let's take that beautiful,

Amazing deep breath in.

So take a deep breath in through your nose.

Hold it and release.

I know again,

I know I say this all the time,

But I love that first deep breath of the day.

It's just,

It's just amazing,

Right?

So let's do that again.

Let's take a nice deep breath in and release.

Perfect.

So before we sit in the stillness,

Let's go to our go-to and consider what are you grateful for today?

Just,

And it can be anything because this is about you,

Right?

This is about you.

You don't have to type anything in.

You don't have to tell anybody out loud.

You don't have to say anything.

It's all in your own head.

What are you grateful for?

It could be as simple as the cup of coffee,

Or it could be as significant as I'm thankful that my loved one is out of the hospital.

Whatever it is for you is the perfect thing.

So our mantra that we are going to sit with today.

Perfect,

Right?

The Sanskrit word moksha.

Moksha.

And what does that mean for those of you that don't know?

It means freedom.

Freedom couldn't be more perfect for today,

Right?

There is a freedom to not taking things personally and not making,

Not making everything everybody does about us.

It's our own personal journey.

Moksha.

So I will keep the time.

And if you lose the mantra in the middle of it,

That's absolutely okay.

If you forget it,

Just focus on your breath and breathing.

The space between the thoughts.

I will keep the time and let's begin.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Moksha.

Let's start bringing our awareness back to the chair we're sitting in,

Our bodies.

And let's take a nice deep breath in just to complete this beautiful meditation.

Breathe in and release.

Then you can open your eyes whenever you feel comfortable.

So I invite you to take this on today.

Not taking anything personally.

Because it has nothing to do with you.

And as you're doing that,

Understand that freedom.

That moksha.

So thank you so much for joining today.

I appreciate every single one of you.

Thank you so much.

From my heart to yours,

Namaste.

Reviews

I love your voice and the energy you bring when you speak. Love the topic, it was so perfect as my partner was beside me just previously taking things personally. One suggestion is that as an educator of 30 years I feel frustrated when people throw out "they should teach this in schools". We do, we try, it gets erased by social media messages, movies, books, video games that teach "you are only powerful if you get revenge". Us teachers are trying to teach stillness, peace, resilience and tolerance. Loved your talk. Just a thought.

Thank you much needed.