This episode is called the four immeasurables,
Kind heartedness and it's part of the Buddha Dharma series.
In this episode there's a kind heartedness meditation practice.
The second of the four immeasurables is kind heartedness.
This is not about how we feel but about how we relate to these feelings.
It invites us to drop our habitual patterns of reactivity and to free ourselves from emotional habits which serve neither ourselves nor anyone else.
Sometimes our goodwill towards people only covers the people that are useful,
Pleasing or amusing to us.
This is not how we should divide groups of people.
We have to see people through the eyes of kindness.
We must open our hearts to everyone and that includes the people who make us angry,
Politicians from a party we disagree with,
Religious leaders that have different beliefs than ours,
People who act and dress differently than us and those who just seem to have the knack of rubbing us up the wrong way.
All of these people deserved our kindness and so we have to train ourselves to think kind,
Helpful and positive thoughts about them.
If we just watch our thoughts for a few hours it becomes quite apparent that that isn't how we usually think.
Not every thought radiates kindness to others.
So how can we cultivate kind heartedness?
A great place to start is by doing the following kind heartedness meditation practice on a regular basis.
As with all the meditation practices in the four immeasurables,
We split the people into three parts.
People we care about,
Strangers or neutral people to us and people we're having difficulty with or we dislike.
So let's do the kind heartedness meditation practice.
Just sit nice and comfortably,
Lightly close your eyes and focus your awareness on your breath and just become aware that the breath is flowing in and flowing out.
Don't change it in any way,
Just allow it to find its own natural rhythm.
I want you to think about a person you care about,
Maybe a friend,
Family member or a loved one and when you think about this person feel gratitude and kindness for this person and then just sit there with those feelings for a moment.
Now I want you to repeat the following phrases to the person you care about and when you repeat these phrases remember to really engage with the meaning of the words.
So repeat each phrase three times.
May you be kind hearted to yourself and others.
May you be safe and secure.
May you have a peaceful mind.
Now just sit for a moment with these feelings of warmth and kindness for this person you care about.
Now think of a neutral person in your life,
Someone you never class as a friend or you dislike.
It may be someone you see every day when you're out walking your dog or standing at the bus stop or going to the shops.
Whoever it is just bring that person into the front of your mind and try to radiate feelings of kindness and warmth into your heart for this person and then just sit there with those feelings for a moment.
Now I want you to repeat these phrases to this neutral person and again remember to really engage with the meaning of the words.
So repeat each phrase three times.
May you be kind hearted to yourself and others.
May you be safe and secure.
May you have a peaceful mind.
Now sit with feelings of warmth and kindness for this neutral person in your life.
Now think of a person you're having difficulties with at the moment.
Try to feel kindness towards this person and remember they're just like you.
They don't want to suffer.
They want to be peaceful and secure.
Now sit for a moment with feelings of warmth and kindness to this person you're having problems with.
Now I want you to repeat these phrases to this person you're having difficulty with and really mean the words.
Don't just blindly repeat them.
So repeat each phrase three times.
May you be kind hearted to yourself and others.
May you be safe and secure.
May you have a peaceful mind.
Now sit with feelings of warmth and kindness for this person and just put your difficulties to one side just for a moment.
We're now coming to the end of this meditation practice.
So very slowly start to open your eyes and just sit there for a moment experiencing the warmth of kind heartedness.
So this meditation is a formal practice of trying to help you build kind heartedness.
And here is a practice you can use in your day to day life.
For me personally,
I find the best antidote to judging someone when we're not on our meditation cushion is to have the set phrase that resonates with you.
Something like,
May my mind be at ease.
May you be happy.
May everyone be free from suffering.
This phrase can be used when you feel negative and unhelpful thoughts arising in you.
So the next time you start to judge someone mentally recite your phrase and your judgment will start to dissolve.
Remember,
We all have to coexist on this planet and we all want to be happy.
So the best way to end our judgmental thoughts is to wish kind heartedness to everyone.
