Buddha Dharma Part Eleven - Compassion

Compassion is the third of the four immeasurables and it is an understanding that the world is full of suffering, and a heartfelt wish that this suffering will come to an end or at least lessen—for ourselves and others. Through compassion, the fact that everyone is suffering remains vivid in our minds. Everyone is suffering, so everyone deserves it. Keep in mind that compassion is for the person and not their behaviour. Thinking like this, we will be able to cultivate compassion for all beings.

Transcript

This episode is called The Four Immeasurables Compassion and it's part of the Buddha Dharma series.

In this podcast there's a guided meditation practice.

Compassion is the third of the four immeasurables and it's an understanding that the world is full of suffering and a heartfelt wish that this suffering will come to an end or at the very least lesson for ourselves and others.

Some people are so wrapped up in their own world of suffering that they forget to have compassion for other people suffering.

It can seem at times that we live in a selfish world in which people close their eyes and ears to the constant stream of tears.

Some people are even able to watch the news or read the newspapers in a dispassionate way.

Of course,

We all have our own problems to deal with,

But simply focusing on our own troubles is not a kind or helpful way of thinking.

This is not the type of world we should wish to live in or leave for our children.

If we don't have compassion for others,

Why should they have compassion for us?

Through focusing on compassion,

The fact that everyone is suffering remains vivid in our minds.

Sometimes we may feel that we're not suffering,

Even though on some level we probably are.

This should not stop us from having compassion for those who are suffering.

Compassion should be ever-present,

Not just for family and friends,

But for everyone,

Even people who are acting in an unhelpful way.

Once we start to discriminate who should have our compassion and who doesn't deserve it,

True compassion is lost.

Everyone is suffering,

So everyone deserves it.

Keep in mind that compassion is for the person and not their behavior.

I'll repeat that.

Compassion is for the person and not their behavior.

If we think like this,

We'll be able to cultivate compassion for all human beings.

I believe it's beneficial to see compassion as a verb,

Something we have to put into practice.

Having said that,

We do have to be intelligent with our compassion.

It's of no benefit to give money to drunk and homeless people.

They're just going to spend it on more drink,

Compounding their problems.

It's far better to give them food or to give your money to a homeless shelter that helps these people.

Compassion isn't just about giving.

It's about giving sensibly,

And that could include money,

Clothing,

Food,

Your time,

And so on.

In a nutshell,

Compassion is the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something to alleviate it.

The best way to ensure that compassion arises in us is to do a meditation practice such as this one,

Fostering a compassionate mind.

So sit comfortably on the floor or an unarmed chair with your back straight but not too rigid.

Now gently close your eyes and do the following breathing exercise.

I want you to breathe in deeply,

Hold,

And then breathe all the air out through your mouth.

So let's begin.

Breathe in through your nose,

Hold,

And breathe the air out through your mouth.

Breathe in,

Hold,

And breathe out.

One last time,

Breathe in,

Hold,

And breathe out.

Now breathe normally,

Just making sure your breath is slow and natural.

This will bring you comfortably into the present moment,

The here and now.

So rest there a moment while you watch your breath,

And I'll briefly explain about compassion.

Compassion is the wish that others do not suffer,

As well as having the aspiration to help end the suffering of others.

Compassion is a mind free from hatred and discrimination.

Cultivating compassion is a wonderful source of peace and harmony in your mind.

So keep yourself in a relaxed state and start to picture someone who is close to you,

Someone you care about and are very fond of.

Notice how this fondness feels in your heart.

Notice the sensations around your heart.

Perhaps you feel a sensation of warmth,

Tenderness,

Or tenderness.

Just focus on these feelings as you visualize the person you care about standing in front of you.

As you breathe out,

Imagine that you're sending light rays from your heart,

And these light rays hold your warm feelings of compassion.

Imagine the light reaches out to the person you care about,

Bringing happiness and relief from suffering.

And at the same time,

Silently recite these phrases three times.

May you have happiness.

May you be free from suffering.

Now sit for a moment with these feelings of compassion in your heart.

Don't visualize someone you neither like nor dislike,

But someone you may see in your everyday life,

Such as someone from work that you're not familiar with,

A shopkeeper,

Or a stranger you pass on the street.

Although you're not familiar with this person,

Think of how this person may suffer in his or her own life.

This person also may have conflicts with loved ones,

Or struggled with an addiction,

Or may have suffered an illness.

So imagine a situation in which this person may have suffered.

And now visualize this person standing in front of you,

And imagine that you're extending the light rays from your heart to them,

And that the light is easing his or her suffering.

Extend this light out to them while you exhale,

With the strong heartfelt wish that they be free from suffering,

And they experience happiness.

Silently recite three times these phrases to him or her.

May you be free from suffering.

May you have joy and happiness.

Now rest for a moment with the warmth of compassion in your heart.

Now I want you to visualize someone you're having difficulty with,

Or you dislike.

This may be a parent,

Ex-girlfriend or boyfriend,

A roommate,

Or a co-worker.

Although you may have negative feelings towards this person,

Think of how this person has suffered in his or her own life.

Maybe this person has also had conflicts with loved ones,

Or has dealt with failures,

Or suffered illness.

So think of a situation in which this person may have suffered.

Now visualize this person standing in front of you,

And imagine that you are extending the light rays from your heart to him or her,

And that the light is easing his or her suffering,

And bringing them happiness.

Extend this light out to them while exhaling,

With the strong heartfelt wish that they be free from suffering,

And they have happiness in their lives.

Now silently recite this three times to him or her.

May you be free from this suffering.

May you have joy and happiness.

If you have difficulty in wishing for this person's suffering to be relieved,

You may think of a positive interaction you've had with this person in the past that can help you to wish them joy and happiness.

Perhaps there were times when you got along,

Laughed together.

It's important to remember that they are just the same as you.

They want happiness,

And they don't want to suffer.

So silently recite this phrase three times again to this person.

May you be free from suffering.

May you have joy and happiness.

Now rest a moment with the warmth of compassion in your heart.

Now when you're ready,

Start to slowly open your eyes and gently introduce yourself back into the outside world.

Off the meditation cushion,

You can have a set phrase ready to mentally recite once you feel you're not caring for another person's suffering.

Something like,

May they be released from their suffering.

May all beings be released from suffering,

And may compassion arise in my heart.

But,

As before,

It's important that you decide on your own wording,

So it resonates with you.

This is just a suggestion.

Sometimes,

When we're being harassed by a homeless person,

Annoyance arises in us instead of compassion.

So next time that happens,

Mentally recite your set phrase.

It doesn't mean you're going to give that person all of your money out of compassion,

But it does mean you'll feel compassion towards them.

You should recite your phrase every time you feel that you're not being compassionate.

What these phrases do is connect us to others.

We appreciate that they are suffering just like us,

And once we have this connection,

It's easier to radiate compassion towards all human beings.

Reviews

May all the people I met in the past, am meeting today, and will meet in the future be free from suffering and be joyful and happy. Thank you. Namaste 🤓🙏🏻

Thanks for another great talk. I thought I would find the compassion towards someone I have conflict with difficult and I found reframing my thoughts to compassion for them as a person and not how they behave helped.

Very difficult to be compassionate when I am scared of what our lives and country will be under the new evil president. My heart is heavy with fear and frustration.

This is very good if you have someone you don't get on with. I was very surprised how difficult I found it to offer compassion to a former boss, but I was able to do it in the end by remembering a couple of positive interactions.

Exercising compassion for someone who was unkind to me in the past felt liberating. I could feel that there was a part of me that wasn't hurt and never could be hurt. After that, I truly felt forgiveness for them for the first time and sincerely wished that their suffering would end.
Thank you so much for this meditation and for the idea that compassion is for a person, not for their behaviour/actions.