Tonglen Practice: Taking Away the Pain

This meditation develops our compassion for others. It is the 1st in the Tonglen teaching - part of the early Tibetan Buddhism (Lo Jong). Recorded live.

Transcript

Before we go into meditation I want to say that in Tonglen we use the breath during meditation which may sound very innocent.

It may sound well so what?

Everybody is breathing all the time anyway,

Right?

Yes,

But we are using the breath in a very particular way which is really a very advanced practice and not all teachers will teach it with the breath.

Some teachers will not,

For beginners they will not teach it with the breath.

We do it anyway.

It's a very important preparation for much higher practices.

So Tonglen,

It's really a very high practice in this guise.

And the other thing that we will do before we go to the actual meditation is that we will do preliminaries to meditation.

And I will say a few words about it.

We say that for a meditation to be successful we need to prepare ourselves,

Get into the right energies into the meditation.

So you will see I'll do a little bit,

I'll do it briefly during this meditation.

So find the comfortable position.

Make sure that as you sit that your back is straight.

It's very important in meditation to keep a straight back.

You can close your eyes.

And then you can do the same thing.

And now pay attention to your chin.

It should be level,

Should not be raised,

Should not be dropped,

Should be level.

Your shoulders should be even.

You can put your hands in your lap.

We say put the left hand below the right hand and touch the thumbs lightly.

It's one way to sit.

Now pay attention to your face.

Your face should not be tense.

You should be relaxed.

Eyes should be relaxed.

Mouth should be relaxed.

You keep your mouth closed,

But relaxed.

Tongue is touching the upper teeth,

The top of the upper teeth.

And then your nose.

Tongue is touching the upper teeth,

The top of the upper teeth.

And now pay attention to your breath.

Focus on your breath.

And we will count ten breaths.

Just count ten breaths.

And you always start to count on the out breath.

So as the air goes out,

You count one,

Then the air comes in.

When it goes out again,

You count two,

Then let it come in like that.

And try to count ten breaths without losing the count.

Thank you.

If you lost the count,

Then go back to one and try to focus better.

Thank you.

So now the next thought that you bring up in your mind is your desire to take refuge in a spiritual path,

In a proper spiritual path,

In a path that will get you out of suffering,

That will develop your heart and your wisdom so that you can stop your own suffering and the suffering of other beings.

So create this desire in your heart to find such a path and to be able to practice this path.

And create a wish in your heart that as a result of your practice,

You will be able to reach a point where you can help other people to reach happiness and to stop suffering.

And to be able to accomplish that,

You're going to need help.

You're going to need a spiritual teacher to help you.

So invite a spiritual teacher,

A Lama,

To you in your imagination.

Imagine that the Holy Being,

A Holy Teacher,

Is coming to you to help you with this practice.

So whatever image you have in your mind of somebody that you maybe somebody you know or somebody that you imagine,

That to you is a Holy Being,

A very pure Being,

Somebody with very high qualities.

Then you invite them to come and sit in the air in front of you,

In your imagination.

Imagine them sitting there.

And as you're looking at them,

See them very beautiful,

Very radiant,

Shining.

And they look at you with the greatest love.

They are totally in love with you.

And they are very happy to be there for you.

And see as you're looking at them,

Look at their qualities.

Look at their love,

At their wisdom,

At their compassion,

And admire those qualities in your heart.

We call this mental prostration.

And the more you can do that,

The more you gain those qualities yourself.

So you prostrate to your teacher by admiring their very high spiritual qualities.

The next step,

You make offerings to this teacher.

You can think of something very beautiful in your life and offer it to them.

Or you can think of a beautiful thought that you had and make it as an offering to them.

Or even your sincere intention to practice to become a better person.

And you can offer that intention to them.

It's very beautiful.

The next step is designed to remove any obstacles you may have in your meditation.

So if there is any thought that is unpleasant,

If there is anything that you have done that you are regretting,

Then you can confess this thing now in front of the Lama and just let it go.

And then we do the opposite.

You remember,

Recall something beautiful that you have done,

Maybe today,

And rejoice in that.

Be happy in your goodness,

In your own goodness.

And now turn to your teacher in front of you and ask them for teachings.

If you need help with a particular thing that's bothering you,

You can ask them to help you with that.

If you know you have a fault in you that you've been trying to overcome unsuccessfully,

You can ask their help to help you with that.

Ask for their help,

Ask for their teachings.

And now pray for the long life of the Lama so that he can stay with you and not leave you.

So all these are preliminary steps that prepare us for the main meditation.

So maybe let's refocus and just focus again on the breath and try to count again ten breaths without losing count.

And always the count begins as the air goes out.

And now focus on a person that you know,

That you know well and that you love.

And see if they may have some problem that they are struggling with.

It could be a physical problem,

It could be a mental problem.

Maybe they have a financial problem,

Maybe they have a problem with relationships.

Whatever it is that's a problem for them and it is causing them discomfort or maybe suffering or maybe pain.

So think of such a person and then decide that you're going to help them take away their pain.

So start with very slow deep breath.

And focus on the person in front of you,

That person that you want to help.

And imagine that the problem that they have is like some black smoke in their whole body.

Their body is black because they have this problem.

And imagine where they are sitting,

Imagine maybe they are in their bedroom,

Sitting on the bed and see how the problem is affecting them.

Affecting their bodies,

Maybe their face,

Their expression.

And so you come into this bedroom and you sit in front of them.

Except you,

This angel,

They cannot see you.

You can see them but they cannot see you.

So you are sitting right in front of them,

Invisible to them.

And again,

Connect with this desire to remove their pain.

And you're going to do this using your breath.

So your breath now is acting like a pump and with each inhale that you're inhaling,

You are pulling this black smoke from their body into the center of their body.

So each time you breathe in,

It pulls the black smoke more and more towards the center of their body.

So take a few breaths like that until everything is concentrated in the center of their heart,

Like a small black ball or small black olive in the center of their heart.

And you are pulling everything in with your breath.

Once more.

Then you continue with your breath.

Now their body is white,

Clean,

And all the trouble that they have is concentrated in the little black ball in their heart.

And as you continue your breathing,

You're pumping this black ball out from their body through their breathing tube.

It goes up through the throat and out through the mouth like a black cloud of smoke that's now leaving their body and it's hanging like a black cloud in front of their face between you and them.

So take a few breaths to do this,

To pull it out of them.

Now focus on your own chest,

Your own heart.

So they are sitting in front of you,

There is a black cloud between you,

And you are focusing now on your own heart.

And in your own heart see a little flame,

Like not your physical heart,

In the center of your chest.

See a little flame,

Maybe two centimeters big,

It's red and yellow.

And this little flame,

It represents your own selfishness and your own ignorance.

So focus a little bit on your own selfishness,

On your own ignorance,

Your own misunderstanding of where things are coming from.

And in the next step,

When I will tell you go,

What you will do is in one breath,

One deep breath,

You will inhale the black cloud that is their pain and between you and them,

You will inhale it into you,

It will come down through your throat and as it will touch the flame,

It will be completely burned,

Consumed and disappear,

Just the flame will burn the whole thing and at the same time,

The flame will go out,

Which means your selfishness is gone,

Your ignorance is gone,

You are now loving and kind.

So you are burning away their pain and your own ignorance and selfishness.

So take a deep breath and do it now.

And now the flame is gone,

The black smoke is gone and your heart is filled with light,

Golden light,

Warm,

Beautiful.

Now enjoy this feeling that you have helped them and you are filled with light and you are a better person now.

And now focus on them,

See them,

See how all of a sudden this problem that was bothering them maybe for the longest time is gone,

How it affects their body,

How it affects their face,

How do they feel now?

They may feel light,

They may have a smile which they didn't have on their face for a long time.

So be happy,

Be happy with what you have done,

Rejoice.

You have to finish the meditation that way,

You are happy with what you have done.

Now focus on the Lama that's in front of you,

They've been with you all this time watching you.

Now you focus on them again,

Thank them for helping you with the meditation,

Ask them to come and stay in your heart.

Of course they agree,

They love you.

So they get smaller,

They are made of light,

Right,

They are little angels.

They are getting smaller,

They come and sit on your head,

They face the same direction you are facing and then they are sliding down gently,

Sweetly into this little chamber in your heart that you prepared for them and they sit on this beautiful flower in your heart and they stay there,

They are very happy with you.

And they are always there to help you for as long as you need them.

And just be aware that you have collected very,

Very good karma by doing this thing,

Very good,

Great kindness.

Just by through this exercise in your thought you have collected a lot of kindness.

So take now this kindness,

Take this goodness and send it as a blessing to the person that you have been working with.

Bless them with your kindness.

You can open your eyes.

Reviews

Powerfully transformational. Walking through the breathwork was also very helpful.
Many thanks to you, Lama, for sharing your time and guidance.

Great😍😍😍

Thank you Lama Debora Hla, good to hear your voice after all these years. Freehold ❤️

Amazing as always :) I keep returning to this meditation year after year after getting into rough spots in my life, and it's always exactly what's needed. It's amazing the congruence between taking away someone else's pain & extinguishing your own selfishness, this is why I love buddhist philosophy.

Very helpful in creating a form for my practice this coming year. Thank you 🙏🏻

Such grand guidance. Amazing. Gentle. Powerful.

Wonderful! Thank you 🙏🏼 so much!

Wonderful. Liberaring. Thank you

Beautiful, thank you 💙x

Thank you. It is a very powerful meditation.

Nice and clear guidance for starting a tonglen practice.

Great practice in living kindness. Thank you.

A wonderful and particular feeling I never had in my previous meditation. Connexion with our lama and friend make me feel it is the right thing to do

This is an intense and beautiful practice. It brought tears. Thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you that is a beautiful practice!

Very clear. A different approach to what I've experienced before (very limited experience) from other teachers in that it focuses one's awareness and Tonglen on one person we wish to help. Thankyou very much 🙏

Thank you so much for this extraordinary meditation! I wish you the very best for your own life. May you be blessed in everything you do!

Different from the practice I am used to. I liked it.

Lovely! Very helpful. Thank you!

Thank you 😊
🙏