The Interview: Melanie Serrano ~ A Basketful Of Miracles

Melanie Serrano is an incredible human with a deeply invested belief in her life, in your life, in the lives of those she works with, in the world without and within. I just sighed as I listened to her and so wished I could inhabit that same world (believe you me I am working on it!) This episode is one of beauty...and hopefully that is conveyed to you, through Melanie's voice this week. She is grace walking, and we should all be awed.

Transcript

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the podcast.

This week I want to start off by thanking everyone who's left a rating or written a review.

I'm so very grateful to everyone who takes the time.

I love getting feedback and it's important to know what works,

What doesn't work,

So every time you write something to me I seriously appreciate it.

This week I interview Melanie Serrano and she's such a warm,

Beautiful,

Gorgeous,

Deeply intuitive human being.

She works at Enlightened Path and has a master's in psychology.

She also self-describes as a self-love and empowerment coach as well as meditation teacher.

But I was really struck in my conversation with her just how loving she is,

How open-minded,

How open-hearted she is.

And make no mistake,

Melanie has a huge heart.

Her story about her miracle this week,

She shares a couple and I don't want to spoil anything,

But by the end of our conversation I was feeling so fuzzy and warm-hearted.

I hope you feel the same.

So now,

This very next episode and my conversation with Melanie Serrano.

I was widowed at 30 years old and I had three kids ages eight,

Four and two and a half years old.

And I remember people saying so much,

Mel,

But you're so strong but I never saw it.

I never saw it because I wasn't ready to see it.

And I was in the space of not allowing myself completely to grieve in that space because I had the first time when the police actually came to my house and told me that my husband went past because he passed in a car accident.

The first thing that came out of my mouth was,

What am I gonna say to my kids?

How do you self-describe?

It's funny because I have written down as a human being,

I'm like,

We all are like a spark of God,

Right?

And but I said as me,

Melanie,

I can say that I'm loving,

I'm caring,

I'm nurturing,

I love to hold space for people.

I really do love humanity.

I can't say that I don't.

I know people would say,

I don't like humans.

I do know people who say that,

But I'm not like that.

I'm very much the opposite.

I love humans.

I love humanity.

I love to see how they grow,

What they think.

I believe that that's another reason why I studied psychology and why that interests me a lot.

And just to be there for them,

Not to hold judgment or anything like that,

Because everyone has their own thing that they've been through that they're still going through.

And it's very important to sit there with empathy for them.

I'm not saying that they didn't do things wrong,

But that was maybe in that moment in time,

They felt that that was the right thing to do,

Or haven't had any way of expressing or releasing things that they've been holding in.

So that's how they know to do it.

And where did you grow up?

I was born in Summit,

New Jersey,

But I was born in a Caribbean household.

My mom's family is Jamaican and I grew up with them.

My dad was not a very big part of my life.

He's from Puerto Rico,

But I'm grateful because as a young child too,

My mom got to know my dad's sisters who very lovingly opened their home to me.

Like almost every summer I would go to Puerto Rico,

I would want to learn Spanish.

I love that Caribbean culture.

And I believe that that's another reason why I am the way that I am.

I see mixes of people.

I mean,

My grandma,

She's Jamaican Chinese.

So I mean,

In Jamaica,

That's very common,

But to a lot of the world,

They don't know that that exists.

And they're so mixed.

It's such a mixed culture,

But I love that because we're all different and we all have our different little things within the culture of one,

Which is what Jamaica's motto is actually,

Out of many,

One people,

Which I really love a lot too.

It's like a mix of everyone,

But we're all one.

It makes so much sense to me because we all are one.

When you were growing up in that household,

Was your mom very culturally Jamaican?

Like was that cultivated in the house?

Well,

I mean,

We had our,

Yeah,

Very much so because my mom,

It was my mom and her parents that I grew up with.

And it wasn't just my mom.

It was a multi-generational family.

And at some point in time,

Even my mom's grandma,

My grandmother's mom was living with us for a bit too.

So it very much was that multi-generational family,

Which I do love,

Feel grateful for because even now today,

My children,

I grew up around my mom's family still and had my kids around my mom's family too.

So my kids got to grow up with their great grandparents,

My mom's parents,

And then have my mom as a grandma.

And that was something that was very special.

And I'm very grateful for that experience for them too,

Because not a lot of people can say that they grew up around their great grandparents or even their grandparents.

So yeah,

It was a typical Jamaican household in that a lot of the food was traditional.

A lot of the traditions about Sunday dinner was at this time and such like that.

In that aspect,

Yes,

Very much.

But my grandfather and grandmother were very strict.

And even with my mom and her siblings growing up,

And they didn't want any patois spoken in the house.

It was only the Queen's English that he wanted in that house.

So they didn't speak Jamaican patois at all.

My uncle,

Yes,

He did.

One of my uncles did.

But my other uncle and my mom did not for the most part.

It's mostly English that they spoke.

Can I ask why they didn't want that spoken in the house?

Yeah,

You can ask.

Because my grandfather saw it as something looked down upon.

That was his mindset and his point of view.

He saw that as something looked down on because from what my mom told me as well is in the early 60s,

Because they left Jamaica in like late 60s,

67,

68.

And at that time was when the Rasta people were coming up more,

But a lot of society in Jamaica would look down on them.

So that was that space.

So that was how he thought.

And that was his thing,

Not mine.

But I was also just so curious.

So what encouraged them to move from Jamaica or emigrate?

So my grandma told me this.

I was like,

Grandma,

Jamaica was part of England.

Why didn't you go to England?

And she was like,

No,

Because I always just wanted to go to the United States.

That's where I wanted to go.

So I was like,

Okay.

That's so,

I mean,

That's actually kind of an interesting,

Right,

And fabulous choice.

Yeah.

I'm sure it would have been a lot easier to move to England since it was already,

And coming to the States would have involved a lot more red tape.

At that time,

Immigration was not as hard as it is now.

So I think my grandfather had someone sponsor him for working for a job here and then sponsored the whole family to come.

I'm so curious.

I mean,

I don't,

Do you ever go back to Puerto Rico still?

Yes,

I do.

There's a really,

On one of my podcasts,

I interviewed this woman who's lived there for decades,

Who is an ethnobotanist,

But one of her,

And she was a journalist in New York.

She's written multiple books.

She's invited me to come visit,

But she actually is fascinating.

She goes,

Part of her journey and her goal is to go into the small villages and talk to the elders and the healers and gather their knowledge of the plants that they use to treat,

Their stories of treating people with traditional remedies,

Kind of that knowledge that's being,

That's disappearing.

She is just,

Her interview is fabulous,

But she's a spitfire.

She's just this amazing,

Amazing human.

And someday I hope to meet her in person.

I bought some of her books and read them.

And it is fascinating the stories of these elders who quite a few of them have passed away already,

But how,

You know,

It was,

They were called,

It was their life's work.

They didn't make a lot of money,

But they would just,

They would travel and travel and maybe get paid with some sweet potatoes or maybe,

But that was their,

You know,

Their goal.

So their job in life or one of their jobs,

I guess I should say.

Anyway,

She's just,

I encourage you to listen to it because she's just this amazing human.

And again,

Like kind of unstoppable.

I mean,

Just like laughter and laughter,

Joyful,

Joyful human being.

Yeah.

So,

I mean,

My second question is like,

Did you grow up in a religious household?

Like what did that look like for your family?

I mean,

You already kind of alluded to the Sunday dinners.

So I'm going to guess that sort of,

You know,

Came into the mix potentially,

But I'd love to hear all about it.

Yeah.

Well,

Honestly,

In my,

And I grew up around a lot of Christian people,

But in my actual home,

I don't think,

I don't believe,

I don't remember us practicing any religion per se.

I remember when I was young,

My mom would,

She did Christian me because my grandmother was Catholic.

I think my grandfather was Anglican,

But she baptized all her kids,

My uncles and my mom,

Catholic,

But we didn't go to Sunday mass or anything like that when I was younger.

And I wanted to know about stuff like that.

Cause I saw my cousin going to church and I was like,

Well,

I want to do that too.

I want to know what that's like.

So my mom would send me with her,

But she wouldn't go with me to church.

So that was in,

But when I got married,

Fast forward,

When I got married,

My husband wanted,

Well,

He wasn't completely Jehovah's witness,

But that's what he remembered as liking when he was young and he had his own issues.

He wanted to do that.

I wanted to support him.

Was I 100% behind the religion?

Not really.

But my goal at that moment was to be supportive,

To be there for him,

Thinking that it was going and helping him and being there for him in that religion would help him with his baggage,

Which did not wind up happening.

But I mean,

I was there when,

After my husband passed,

I went back to Catholicism with my three kids.

We went to church almost every Sunday.

I had my children started doing CCD.

I had two of my youngest baptized.

My oldest was not,

I don't remember what happened there,

But,

And then I started to get into my own spirituality and I stopped going to church and had my own thing going on,

Understanding about spirituality in that way.

Does it,

That it's not at a place where you go to,

My understanding,

But it's,

It's here in my heart.

I carry God with my heart every day.

My,

I talk to my Archangel Michael all the time.

It's in that space and here where I found religion and the love of God in all things.

It sounds like kind of spirit or that energy is ever present in your life or,

Or very close.

Would you,

Is that an accurate?

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah,

Very much,

Very much so.

Very much so.

Do you ever find that a little oppressive?

No,

Not really.

I,

You know,

When we get to more of the other questions,

I'll tell you about how beautiful it has been for me.

It really is not oppressive at all.

It's,

It's,

It's more like my norm at this point in time in my life.

That's just my normal.

I wake up and I'm talking to my,

My go-to guy a lot is Archangel Michael.

So say,

Okay,

God,

Or I've even have my own name for God.

I call him my big kahuna.

I'll say,

God,

Big kahuna,

Michael,

I allow you to come into all my decisions today.

What am I,

What do you have for me to do today?

I'll do that sometimes.

I'm not going to lie and say all the time,

That's not true,

But there are times that,

Yes,

I will be like that,

But I always talk to Michael.

I always talk to God.

It's,

It's,

It's just a normal thing for me in this moment.

I think that's wonderful.

I might be projecting on you a little bit,

Which is why I asked that question.

But it also,

You know,

Just seems to me from the,

You know,

Kind of brief messages we've had back and forth that you're also highly intuitive.

Has it,

Has it been that way your entire life?

It's funny that you asked me that.

Maybe I didn't realize that I was for a long time,

But I believe I am.

It was,

It's funny because things like that run in my mom's family.

My mom's grandma,

She would be able to see spirits and have things come to her in dreams.

My grandma has seen spirits.

My mom was like,

I don't want any part of that,

But,

But she's highly intuitive.

And then I am intuitive.

My daughters and my son are very intuitive as well.

So it's something that is very much generational,

But I embrace it.

I've always embraced it.

I was saying to my friend the other day and my daughters,

I said,

I remember having,

My mom says I had imaginary friends where we were living when I was little.

And I would say,

Eddie and Audie this,

And I'm playing with Eddie and Audie and I'm playing Eddie and Audie.

And then I asked my mom recently,

I was like,

I have a question.

She's like,

Yeah.

I said,

When we left that house,

Did I ever speak about Eddie and Audie?

She's like,

No.

I was like,

Ah,

So I'm thinking maybe it was actually people spirits that were there,

But we would,

To me,

I would just play with them.

And that's,

That was that when I was a teenager,

It was funny.

I was alone for a lot of times.

My mom was working,

Whatever.

And at that time we were living back in Jersey.

My grandma,

My parents were back in Florida or some Florida.

And I remember just having these conversations.

And then I talked to my cousin afterwards in a lot of those conversations,

She would be telling me happened to her friends that she knew things that I would be having these conversations about.

I was like,

What?

And then,

But I never really clicked still that it was my gift coming through.

And then when I was older,

I remember being in my mom's house,

So wild.

And then I just smelled the earth.

I was just looking for something.

I was looking for something.

I didn't know what I was looking for.

And I just had this thing and I had to go by just like,

Smell the earth,

Smell the earth.

And I was like my grandparents,

I felt in there,

My dad's parents.

And then it would guide me to this drawer.

And I found a check from my father.

When I found that check,

It stopped.

So I truly do believe that I was guided to that space to find that.

And then afterwards,

It's just a wild zone.

There's been many,

Many instances,

Like another one afterwards,

When my mom and I went to the hospital because she had to go for,

She had this allergic reaction.

And I went with her and we went to employee health.

And I was sitting there.

This is one time when I was guided to do something I was really uncomfortable doing.

And I was like,

They're like,

Okay,

You need to hug this lady.

I was like,

What?

They were like,

No,

She needs a hug.

You need to give her a hug.

She needs a hug.

But I was sitting there like,

I don't know about all that.

And they kept on like,

No,

She needs the hug.

She needs a hug.

She needs a hug.

I was like,

And then they said,

She doesn't like to be hugged,

But she needs this hug.

So I stood up and I said,

Ma'am,

Do you mind if I gave you a hug?

She's like,

No.

She's like,

I really don't like hugs.

And I said,

Yeah,

I know.

They told me,

She said,

Maybe you need this hug.

I said,

I was just guided to give you a hug.

That's all I know.

So I gave her that hug.

I never went back,

But my mom has gone,

Had went back.

And she said that that lady continuously asked how I was doing.

So those are one of my things,

One of many,

But one of my things that I'm like,

Wow,

It never ceases to amaze me these things that happen.

Wow.

And that's quite a powerful legacy.

And,

You know,

Sometimes with some of my guests who have those legacies,

You know,

I'm glad that your grandmother wasn't afraid.

I mean,

I can't imagine that seeing spirits is like a comfortable thing.

Maybe you get used to it after a while,

Or you learn how to protect yourself or ground yourself or what have you.

But I can imagine that at times it's a little scary,

You know?

And so bless her heart for,

For not like imparting maybe the fear or maybe she just told you about how magical it was or miraculous or I mean,

I think I don't think so.

Not,

Not,

Not that much.

I think that,

And I'm going to be very honest,

A lot of these things were kept in the family as much as they could be.

But I do have another thing too,

Not only from my mom's mom's side,

I know one of my mom's father's sisters was very young when she got her gifts and she could just see things.

And then she had people lining up at her house to ask her things.

And then her father just shut that down.

He was like,

No,

No,

No,

No,

No,

No.

She's a child.

We're not going to have to do this anymore.

We're not going to do these things.

And she has these moments when she goes to help people when she's guided and stuff like that,

But she's not as open with it.

I believe I'm one of the first generations to be open completely with my gifts.

I'm not scared to say what my gift is and I'm okay with that.

I don't feel that I need to hide it.

I don't feel that it needs to be hush-hush,

Especially when there's people that I'm helping.

Yeah.

I think we live in a really interesting time where of course there are going to be some people who judge anyone for anything.

It doesn't even matter.

And that's,

They just live for that or yeah.

But then I think we're also in an interesting time where more people are believing this stuff,

Right?

Exactly.

Opening their hearts to it and,

And being willing to have open minds.

And I think that's really exciting.

I think it's fun and it has the potential to,

To change and shift things pretty dramatically in general,

Which I'm excited about because we need more open minds and open hearts no matter where they are.

And then I also have this thing that I do believe that I say this,

That people come back home to themselves.

I believe that that's another thing that's going on in this time because we're allowed to be more open-minded to energy,

Open-minded to,

Yes,

There are people out there that are intuitive.

Yes,

There are people that have these gifts,

Owning our own gifts.

There are people who are a lot more open-minded with that too.

So it is very much coming back home to ourselves,

Coming back home to our true self,

Not the self that everyone has had this society feel that how we should be is really coming back home to our true self.

You hear a lot,

Especially in the coaching world,

Your authentic self,

Your true self.

So that's very much,

That's very much where we are right now in this space of being honest with ourselves and not having this space that,

Oh,

We have to pretend that everything's okay.

And we have to pretend that we're on top of everything because that's not,

That's not how it is all the time.

And I know I've,

I've,

I've had depression with a lot of,

A lot of my life too.

So I know it's not always sunshine and rainbows.

There's times that have been very,

Very difficult.

And that's why I'm very much another mental health advocate too.

I really do understand.

And I,

In my heart,

I understand what these people,

And I empathize with them,

What it is like to be in a space of depression and feeling that maybe sometimes you can't express or don't know why you're feeling that way.

Because that's how it is.

Sometimes you just don't know.

It's,

It's just this thing that you have is feeling this over you and you don't know how to,

To get out.

You know,

I,

Those buzzwords,

Right?

Authentic self,

True self.

I mean,

We're all caught,

Including me.

I'm not,

We're all caught in this kind of construct,

Right?

Where some things are allowed,

Some things are not.

And it's kind of like a little cage,

A little prison that all these different people put around us with their expectations and getting to that authentic place or that journey can be so lonely.

And it can be so scary because once you start that process,

Sometimes you have to let go of your old life and,

And old friends.

And because maybe they can't understand what you're going through or what you're,

You're engaging in.

Maybe they can't comprehend just what's happening.

And they don't like it by the way,

Because they don't like the change.

So,

So sometimes people have to make decisions about do they stay where they're comfortable and they're not threatening other people or do they,

Do they just commit and,

And walk away from their old life to build something new,

Which by the way is exhausting.

It can be,

It can be,

But it's,

It is pretty much getting out of that comfort zone.

A lot of people feel that if they're not taking the action to change,

Where if they're a lot more comfortable keeping the peace and stuff like that,

They don't know that there's other,

It could be that they're hurting other people involved by not speaking and keeping the peace or not doing what they need to do.

You might live later on and regret and in the space of what if,

What if I could have taken that trip and seen what happened?

I could have could have went over there.

What if I had went and moved to this place where I wanted to go?

Look,

I know because there has been places.

I remember when I was young,

I was saying,

I don't want to be here anymore.

I want to go to the university,

American university in France.

I wanted to go to France.

And then when I,

When I was learning about,

No,

But then you have to have a visa.

I was like,

Oh,

I got scared.

I said,

No,

No,

No,

No,

We're not going to do that.

So I remember that point,

But you know,

It is what it is.

And I have to say,

If,

Because I didn't take that leap,

I chose not to,

But then I got married.

I had my kids and that was here.

That would not have happened if I were to have gone over there.

So yeah,

I mean,

There's things that you can say what if,

And not choose to do certain things,

But then you don't know what you'd be missing out either.

Well,

I am so interested in it.

I would love to hear any stories that you'd like to share of magic or miracles,

Or,

I mean,

I feel like you already told me like a few little stories,

But I would love to hear anything that you'd like to share.

Yeah.

Like I said,

One has actually happened to me and what happened through me.

A couple have happened through me,

But I said about my aunt,

She was very much guided sometimes to go to people.

And one time I was in a very depressive state and she came and she got me out of it.

She helped me through it.

However she was guided,

I don't remember everything,

But I just remember certain things.

And she was,

And the day after or so,

Or soon after I was out of it.

Not completely out,

Of course,

But a lot more,

Because at that point in time,

I was not talking to anyone.

I was by myself.

I was talking to myself.

I was thinking that I had to hurt myself.

It was that space.

And she went and she did her thing and told my mom what to do.

And then I was not in that space that I had to feel it.

I had to isolate myself at that point.

I was more,

I would talk to my mom more,

Of course.

Yeah.

And as a teenager,

I was not the happiest person because I was going through my own thing with my dad not being a part of my life.

And then his wife not wanting me to be a part of their family and him being okay with it.

So I was,

I felt a real big part of me rejected and not feeling loved.

And that also played into a bigger part of me as an adult,

But she did help.

I wasn't as alone.

I didn't isolate myself as much.

So that was good.

And it was a better space all along,

For the most part.

So I'm grateful for that because I wasn't in that space of wanting to hurt myself anymore or anything like that.

So that was a good thing.

And like I said,

I didn't want to isolate myself anymore.

So that was a good thing.

So I'm grateful for that.

So what are you,

Are you saying a bit like she kind of sensed that you needed help and she came to you?

I believe that she was guided,

More guided to me.

She has this gift that God guides her.

She goes to where she needs to go and she does what she's guided to do.

So that is more it.

And then when I got into my own gifts,

Came into my,

Well,

When I actually realized it was more of my gifts,

I remember as much as the lady that I gave the hug to,

I remember not too long ago,

Having this conversation with this lady that I met through someone else.

And I was texting her and I was telling her,

Yeah,

That I do meditation sometimes.

And,

And then as soon as we stopped talking,

I got a message to give to her.

And I was like,

Okay.

And it's,

And it's like,

You know,

When,

When spirit has something to tell,

They're going to keep on,

Keep on until you do it.

So I called her and I said,

I don't remember the message at this point,

But I said,

I called her and I told her her messages.

She started crying because she had told me before that she would go to the grave and she'd be talking to this person.

I didn't even know her,

Know who the person was or what her name was,

But I said,

Okay,

This is the name.

I forgot right now what it was.

And this is their message.

And she was crying.

She said,

Oh my God,

You don't know what,

What this is for me.

I said,

What are you talking about?

She said,

The person,

That's what her name was.

And the,

And the message that you gave me is what I was asking her all those times when I went to visit her in her grave.

I was like,

Wow.

I remember I was a customer service person in a call center and this lady was on the phone.

And all of a sudden I got this,

Got this message.

I said,

Cause she had lost her husband.

I said,

You don't know your husband loved you so much.

And I just went into this space and I started crying.

My eyes started tearing and then she was crying and she said,

No,

You don't understand how important this is.

I have been asking a lot if my husband can hear me.

And he knows these things.

And I was like,

Wow.

So even when I get these pushes and nudges to do things,

I get amazed.

I'm like,

Wow.

So this,

This is really,

It's like,

You can't make this stuff up.

Cause you really can't.

I had a reading not too long for a friend of mine and her son had passed and he came through and I was telling her,

She was crying.

I said,

Mira mama,

You know,

You need to stop feeling guilty.

That's what he's saying to you.

And I said,

No,

I wouldn't.

He's telling me this and said,

It was,

It's just,

I know it's not easy.

I said,

I believe me.

I know what losses and it was not an easy thing.

I said,

He said,

You need to stop living that guilt.

I said,

He even pushed you to go on this vacation you're on.

I wouldn't be surprised if he had a part in it too.

And she was like,

Yeah.

And she cried for a bit,

But afterwards she said,

You know,

I really needed that.

And I'm,

And I was asking,

She,

And it's so funny.

She said,

I was wondering if he was going to come through when you did the reading with me.

And he was the first person who showed up and was like,

Okay,

We're going to do this.

So every time that,

That happens,

I feel grateful that I can,

That I have this gift to bring that to other people,

To bring that solace,

To bring that peace,

To bring the knowledge.

I have,

I have this thing sometimes when I do channels,

Guided meditations,

Which I call meditation of their journeys and archangels come and masters come.

And it's always,

I love it because very much it's about giving people that message of you are beautiful the way you are.

You are enough.

You are that warrior goddess.

You are all those things.

And we are here to tell you,

We're here with you so that people know that they're not alone in this world.

That's what I love so much because when I was going through my classes and things,

I remember one of the meditations that I was,

That we were doing.

And it was like,

I was being held in God's hand and feeling so much love and feeling love from the archangels and feeling love from all these beings.

And I started crying because I was like,

Wow,

I,

That's,

That's how loved that we all are.

And feeling that for myself was just like out of this world to me.

And that's another thing too.

I remember we were having this conversation before saying that,

Yeah,

Sometimes it's hard about this self-love journey and it's not always a bed of roses.

It's,

It's an ongoing thing,

But to know that you're not alone,

You have God,

Your team and spirit with you and they're cheering you on and they're seeing what you're doing.

They know that you have that capacity and so much more.

I've been told in messages sometimes that we don't realize the capacity and the enormousness that we all are as human beings,

Because we see ourselves as these little things and we're not.

There's so much more.

I remember having a special day.

Think about how you are.

Think about how much loved you are by God,

By your angels.

And then multiply that by 10 and then multiply that by infinity,

Because that's how much we are cared and loved for.

Despite many of the things that have happened to us,

There's so much love for us there.

It's about opening ourselves to it and being open to receive it,

Which is something else that I was saying to a friend of mine here too.

I said,

Look,

I'm going to tell you from my experience,

When you're in that space of that self-love journey,

Allow love from other people to come to you too.

It's not just about you loving yourself.

Yeah,

That's a big part,

But allow the love and the encouragement and the people that want to help you,

Allow that to be there for you.

Allow that love to be received by you too.

Yes,

It's beautiful to have your self-love,

But there's also people here on earth that God has put here as your soul tribe,

People call it,

As your community people call it,

And they are here to help us all through that as well.

It's about allowing them to be there in that space to help.

That is so beautiful.

And I think one of the most challenging things in this life is,

I think for many humans,

Including myself,

Is to love ourselves.

It's like our society will not give us permission to do so.

And,

You know,

Of course there's narcissism,

Which is sort of a malignant,

Unhealthy self-love,

But I'm talking about the self-love where you just appreciate your gifts,

Where you appreciate your body,

You appreciate all your cells and what they're doing to keep you alive,

All of that,

All of your capacities,

Your intelligence,

Your ability to love,

Your capacity for love.

And for some reason,

We're in this world that doesn't want us to do that.

And I don't know if it's about power or control,

Could be about both.

But again,

You know,

We were talking earlier about living in like the prisons that we construct for ourselves or that society happily constructs,

Helps us construct.

Self-love is one of those prisons that we have to break out of so that we can live better lives.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

And definitely be happier with ourselves because I,

Girl,

I know I used to be very much a people pleaser and want to do things because,

You know,

I was raised,

Jamaican households are strict and they had a regimen of how you're supposed to live your life.

And I was always the oddball,

That was just me.

And I was not,

They were saying,

No,

But you shouldn't be doing this.

So for a while I was people pleasing,

But then from people pleasing,

I realized I wasn't happy because why?

Because I'm not doing it for myself.

And I'm not saying this out of ego or that like narcissistic space,

But when you're trying to please other people,

You yourself are not happy because it's not coming from your heart.

And it's coming sometimes from a space of obligation,

Not really wanting to come from you.

That's why I can totally understand about what I was saying about earlier about authentic self.

That's also being your true self.

If it's coming from you,

As opposed to doing it to please someone else,

Or like our society deemed how it should be.

As I said before,

Coming from a Jamaican household and Caribbean people in general,

You're taught,

So you're supposed to respect your mom and dad.

You're not supposed to talk back if you say something that's talking back.

And that's,

I raised my kids very different.

I very much did.

I broke all that stuff.

I was like,

You guys tell me what you're feeling.

I'm like,

I'm here to hear what it is that you're feeling in this point.

What you say is valid to me.

I understand that.

I'm very much that parent that I'm like,

What's going on?

What's going on?

Tell me.

I'm here for you.

And it's not too much that I'm pushing them to overcome the boundaries that they're putting,

But I'm there letting them know,

Hey,

I'm here for you.

And it's okay if you don't want to talk about it now,

But when you're ready,

You can come and I'm here.

I just want you to know that.

I've very much been like that.

It's funny because my house was the hangout house for a while for everyone.

And a lot of my kids' friends even now have told me,

They said,

Mel,

They said,

You know,

This,

You have been a big impact in my life because you allowed me to be myself.

You heard what I was saying.

You didn't sit there and say,

But no,

Why are you doing that?

Why are you,

I it's,

You've done that for me.

And I've done that for my kids.

If my kids say,

I want to do this.

Great.

Go for it.

Go do it.

Try it out.

See what it's like.

I'm not going to discourage them and say,

No,

You need to look for something that's more stable or no,

You should.

I want you to go out there and discover yourself,

Discover your gifts,

Do your thing,

Play with life,

See how it goes.

And you're going to learn out there.

And I'm going to be here to catch you every time I'll be here for you.

I love how beautiful that way of being in the world is,

Right?

Because kids,

Poor kids,

Like they take on so much of what their parents are splashing out into the world.

And you just sound like such a supportive and amazing mom.

Honestly.

So yay for you.

You know,

That's so healthy and lovely.

You know,

All of us find ourselves at various times in our lives and the valley of the shadow of death,

Right?

And you're just dark night of the soul.

You're slogging through and you're like,

When is what's happening?

And I think this interview will be really good for a lot of people because it will remind people how powerfully they're loved and also how powerful they are.

So thank you.

Your stories are holy cow.

I'm going to tell you something too.

I remember for a very long time because I was widowed at 30 years old and I had three kids ages eight,

Four and two and a half years old.

And I remember people saying so much,

No,

But you're so strong,

But I never saw it.

I never saw it because I wasn't ready to see it.

And I was in the space of not allowing myself completely to grieve in that space.

Because I had the first time when the police actually came to my house and told me that my husband went past because he passed in a car accident.

I,

The first thing that came out of my mouth,

What am I going to say to my kids?

That's where my focus jumps to at that point.

And they've been,

And I'm going to be honest,

They've been my center universe for a very,

Very long time.

And my grief was very much put on hold.

So that was another point in my life that I was kind of grieving,

But not completely because I had to take on what was going on with them.

And my oldest daughter impacted her very much because she was very close to her dad.

So it was me trying to get help for her and wanting to be there for her and looking for help with counselors,

Not knowing what to do.

And not even knowing if I was a good enough parent at that time,

Because I was like,

Okay,

I'm doing this.

Yeah,

My family did help me with certain things.

Like if I had to go to school,

They'll help watch them.

But for the brunt of a lot of things,

It was me and them in the home.

So like their breakdowns and things like that,

It was me witnessing those things and me helping for those times with them.

And because I remember,

Yeah,

I was going to school,

But there were times that I wasn't even in that space of allowing myself to grieve in that moment,

Because my whole focus was to be with them and to help them.

But eventually,

You know how that is.

Emotions are not going to be stuck down forever.

They're gonna rise up,

They're gonna show up.

So then there was a point in time that I just broke down at that point.

And I was like,

Mom,

I really need help.

I really need help.

And I'm not one to ask my mom for help like that.

And we went and I got help.

But it took me a very,

Very long time to get over that.

And I'm not saying that it's going to happen for everyone that goes through that.

But this is my process.

Even up to,

And I'm not going to lie,

Up to about maybe three years ago.

And it's been over 20 years,

About 20 years,

21 years,

20,

20,

Yeah,

21 years.

And a lot of that has been missing him.

Sometimes I remember asking him,

Hey,

Can you come to me in my dreams?

And he'll be in my dreams for a little bit,

Holding me in solace.

Or it's,

It was not an easy thing.

But it's,

It's definitely a big chunk of my life in whom I am and of my strengths.

Because,

You know,

You were saying before this,

Sometimes,

Yeah,

There's things going on,

You have this beautiful journey in the space of beauty.

But there are also things that we go through that are not so beautiful.

But then I look at it in this way.

And I'm not saying that,

Oh,

It was a beautiful thing.

That part of my life crushed me.

And I'm not even going to pretend and lie.

That was,

It was like,

Here,

He was here one day,

And one day he wasn't.

And it was like,

I did feel the space of,

Okay,

I have to get up and I have to put my bootstraps on,

I got to take care of my kids.

But for like,

My eldest daughter,

She just said that her world just humbled.

And she just said she was like,

Lost.

Because she didn't have that strength.

She didn't have many more.

And it's just not the easiest thing to go through and to help your kids through.

But it can be done.

It can be done.

It's that space,

Again,

Of loving your kids,

Filling your cup,

As well as a big thing.

Because we can't always function from an empty cup.

I remember one night,

I was saying this to my mom,

When I was just in the space that I couldn't anymore.

My kids were sleeping,

I got them up.

My grandma lives like 1015,

Used to live like 1015 minutes away.

I got everyone in the car and went to my grandma's house because I,

In that moment,

It was very much towards that point where I really needed help.

I was just in that state.

And I just couldn't anymore.

And I just felt that if I could bring my kids with me to my grandma,

My grandma can help a little bit and I can get some of my time for myself,

Which was very much needed.

But I didn't know.

Because I was too busy trying to,

You know,

Do everything.

But it's a journey.

But it's part of my journey,

A part of what brought me to where I am now.

And today I can say yes,

I'm a strong person,

Because I do see it now.

Before I did not so much.

Now I do.

And I'm grateful.

I do say it all the time.

I'm grateful for all the lessons in my life,

Even the ones that,

Like that,

That like me on a whole other road to what I didn't know.

But in a way,

I've got to this point to see.

Yeah,

That was a tragedy.

But it brought me to a space of understanding my strength,

Understanding what everyone saw to be.

To know that,

Yeah,

Not everyone is going to do that.

Everyone,

I hope you appreciated this week's talk with another incredible guest,

Someone out there who's making the world a more positive place,

A more beautiful place.

I have to say that I'm really loving the conversations I'm having lately,

Because once again,

Week after week,

I am meeting the most splendid human beings.

And in a world rife with discord,

And people kind of going at each other in negative ways,

Having these conversations reminds me that this world and pretty much all the people in it are incredible human beings who are just trying to find their way.

Melanie is another example of just someone that I'd like to have in my kitchen just stopping by for a chat,

Sharing her wisdom,

Sharing her generosity of spirit.

She's another lightworker in this world.

And I'm so very grateful that she's in it.

Thank you again to everyone who listens.

And remember,

I always need more ratings.

And I always need more reviews.

And please do share the podcast with all your friends.

Getting the word out is so very difficult as someone who creates content.

So I need all the help I can get.

So any little thing that you can do to share the podcast,

I would be so very grateful.

Thank you for listening.

And here's my one request.

Be like Melanie.

Live in this world wholehearted.

Because she really does live in this world with her whole heart.

And that's a scary and strange place to be for most of us.

But I really do feel that she's in the right place.

And that she's inhabiting this world with her whole spirit,

Her whole soul.

And I think that we can only do that when we're wholehearted,

When we're open hearted.

So be like Melanie.

Have an open heart.

Live in this world with integrity and authenticity and with your wholeheartedness.

And pretty soon,

I do think,

So very soon,

This whole world,

It's going to love you wholeheartedly back.