Interview: Thomas Wilson ~ Helping Others Thrive!

Thomas talks about what it's like to be neurodiverse, in a world that sometimes doesn't understand those with different brains. But his miracle is this: how he overcame a childhood of trauma to become a champion for those who might be a bit unlike the rest of us!

Transcript

Hello,

Friends,

And welcome back to another episode of The Pod.

This time,

I'm introducing you to Thomas Wilson,

And I really appreciated the conversation this week.

We dive heavily into autism,

Neurodiversity,

What it looks like to be different than the surrounding culture,

The surrounding society,

From those who kind of,

You know,

Want everyone to be one standard and not have one iota of difference.

It was a tough conversation and painful for me to hear,

But I also think I needed to hear it because,

You know,

I am someone who doesn't like bullies.

For anyone who's listened to this podcast for any length of time,

You know this about me.

And,

You know,

Thomas really brought it home to me what it's like to be neurodiverse in a country that really isn't set up to help those who have,

You know,

A different way of processing the world or a different way of integrating the world.

So it was just,

All in all,

A really profound conversation.

Thomas grew up in Manchester,

New Hampshire,

And,

You know,

He had mental health struggles,

And he alludes to a catastrophic incident that happened when he was a kid.

And you know,

He'd already been classified as a prodigy by then.

And so after this incident that was so traumatizing,

He was kind of left alone.

And Thomas did not really receive the support that he needed.

But as with all stories,

You know,

Thomas emerged triumphant.

It took a long time.

It took Thomas understanding what his strengths were.

And it took him understanding that he could bring beauty and he could bring incredible experiences and stories to those who are neurodiverse,

To those who are autistic,

To those who interpret this world differently than the rest of us.

But his miracle story hit me hard because we can all be of service at any time to any single person out there that we encounter.

And Thomas is doing it for a whole community.

So I hope you enjoy meeting him,

But I especially hope you enjoy our conversation.

So when I actually started to accept,

Because I've had a lifelong struggle with liking myself,

With accepting myself,

With let alone trying to love myself,

That is still a daily struggle for me.

Um,

I had to undo pessimism.

I had to undo self-hatred.

I had to undo a negative self-talk.

To this day,

When people ask me for meetings,

The first thing that comes to my mind is,

Oh my gosh,

Am I going to lose someone or is someone going to fire me or all this stuff just based on all the trauma?

So I always call myself Thomas R.

Wilson,

Just because I like to have that little R in there.

I always joke that it differentiates myself from like the 8 billion other Thomas Wilsons on the planet.

Um,

At the same time though,

Um,

I,

I say my pronouns are he,

Him.

I have learned over the last couple of years how important pronouns are for so many people.

In this world,

And I love to honor that.

Um,

And the other thing I will say is I am a nice,

Fun guy who likes to tell stories,

Loves to engage in conversation.

And if anyone has questions for me at any time,

I love questions.

So I always like to throw that in because I find in this world,

So many people are told not to ask questions.

And I like to undo that narrative.

Yeah.

I'm so I'm going to guess,

Do you love meeting new people?

So I'm going to be honest,

I am an extreme introvert.

So as much as I want to say,

Yes,

I have a very strong duality.

It depends on the situation and on where my energy level is at each day.

Um,

I am very much the kind of person who will sit in a dark room watching TV to decompress.

And if people knock on my door,

I'm like,

Please go away.

I don't say that all the time because that's just rude.

Um,

But I love to make new contacts.

I love to talk to new people,

Explore conversations.

Um,

I will add the little caveat of I typically do better when I have some control over the situation.

So people see me as the grand presenter.

And then in my downtime,

I'm that quiet introvert who doesn't want to talk to people.

Um,

And I always say we all have our persona or the way we present ourselves in this world.

And so I like to have that duality.

You were like speaking my language.

Okay.

I just have to put that out there because quite honestly,

There have been times when,

You know,

Someone will knock on my door or someone texts me or call me and I'm like,

Oh my God,

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone.

I don't.

And I've started to think about it as chi,

Like my energy reserves.

And sometimes I'm just like,

I need a day with no one around siphoning my energy.

I just need to be quiet.

I love quiet.

And people say to me,

Well,

Gosh,

You know,

You've worked in restaurants and coffee shops and you can talk to anyone.

And,

You know,

I'm very aware of the amount that's going out,

Which is why I need so much time alone.

Um,

So as well as I appreciate your comment about masks or personas,

Because,

Um,

We just recently with some work I've been doing,

I've been realizing that from a very early age,

I learned it was very important to fit in,

To not rock the boat and to wear a mask so that I seem normal.

And like,

I understood what was going on around me and it has been an absolute bonkers ride,

Just real having that revelation and then wondering to myself,

How can I let that go?

You know,

That way of trying to cope that way of trying to appear normal.

Um,

So it's been,

It's been,

I mean,

This literally has just happened in the last couple months for me.

Um,

It's been really helpful,

But also kind of,

Also I think interesting because you realize how children can adapt and are very,

I don't know,

Maybe agile,

Um,

Some situations are worse than others,

But thank you.

I mean,

Everything you're saying,

I'm like,

Yes,

Yes,

Thomas R.

Wilson,

I agree with you.

And I will use the R each and every time.

What does that stand for,

By the way?

That is for Ryan.

That is,

Um,

That is my middle name.

I've,

I've actually shifted.

So over the years I've been T.

R.

,

I've been Thomas,

Um,

People have tried to call me Tommy,

Which I put my foot down immediately and say,

I am not a Tommy.

Um,

I have hated that ever since I was a kid.

And I was,

I will say the only people I've ever let call me Tommy are like sweet little ladies that have that like nice grandma vibe.

And it's like,

I don't want to make them mad.

So I just accept it.

But most people don't call me Tommy,

Um,

Anymore,

But I've had a lot of different names I go by.

But,

Um,

The only thing I will say about that,

And I think it ties into masks is I'm actually a believer that not all masks are bad.

Um,

And I think it's the same thing with names.

Um,

I think that there is,

And you might see me look all over,

That is my ADHD playing out.

I do not like looking at screens for long periods of time.

Um,

But I think there are healthy masks and I think there are unhealthy masks.

And I think what you said about kiddos and their ability to rebound and stuff,

I think it's so interesting because there's such a conversation on masks,

But I think when we teach kids to mask themselves to hide who we are,

That's a very different thing than carrying a mask.

And I like to use the philosophy of carrying it through like a masquerade party,

Right?

We all have masks,

We all have moments where we put on a little bit extra,

We have fun,

We relax,

We enjoy,

We are part of a culture in which doing that.

But in my mind,

That is very different than being a kid,

Being like,

You're acting weird,

So stop it.

Or you're asking too many questions.

And I think the reason I bring up a masquerade ball is because that is the purpose,

Right?

Like if I were my introverted self,

Every time I did a podcast,

I would not be entertaining.

I would not be enthusiastic.

But I do think,

You know,

There's also lots of cultures that acknowledge this.

Masks also give us power,

They give us creativity,

They give us a different identity,

They give us a purpose.

And so I don't often challenge this,

But I trust that I can say this here,

Masks are a good thing.

It's just like with any tool or any emotional component,

We have to know when and how we're using them,

And how to adjust if it's negative or hurtful to us as people.

Right.

Thank you for that.

That's actually,

I'm going to go and chew on that after our interview and see how that feels.

Also,

Thank you for bringing in asking a lot of questions,

Because literally every guy I've ever dated is like,

You're like a three-year-old,

And you just constantly ask questions.

And I'm like,

That's because I'm interested in the world,

And I want to know how things work,

Or why they work,

Or how they work.

Like,

I am just,

I can't turn off my curiosity and my inquisitiveness,

And I'd rather be curious about it.

But they have,

They've complained.

They're like,

God,

It's like,

Why do you have so many questions?

So thank you for bringing that up.

So now I just had a revelation on this podcast.

You know,

I don't know how old you are.

But certainly when I was growing up in the 70s and 80s,

People were not talking about neurodiversity.

They were not,

You know,

This wasn't even in the zeitgeist.

You know,

Maybe a few people,

Who knows at this point.

But now it is talked about so much more.

There's programs and schools and systems to help those who are neurodiverse.

But was it,

Did it exist when you were growing up?

So I grew up in the 90s.

I was born in 1990.

And so my favorite,

My favorite way of describing the 90s and 2000s is that it was a bad era for like the 08s,

The 2000s were a really bad era for empathy.

And I fully take that.

I don't know if you've heard of this.

Maybe someone listening will.

But the show Girls 5 Eva is,

It's a show about a group of 90s,

Like,

Oh my gosh,

Spice,

Like girl band,

Kind of 90s culture.

And decades later,

They try to become,

They try to become stars again and rise up to the fame of singing and all that.

It's by Tina Fey.

I love Tina Fey's style of humor.

And I love so much of the stuff that she backs by producing.

But they say that and they say it in an episode where they're pranking someone like intensely harshly.

And they reference like a bunch of the prank shows.

But it's so interesting because it almost feels like from time to time people don't talk about that anymore.

Like,

Especially American media kind of has whitewashed a little bit the narrative of how badly mental health and neurodiversity and autism was treated in the media in the 90s and early 2000s,

I think especially.

And I love that the show calls it out in a joke because the running gag so much for what I grew up around was if you're in therapy,

You're crazy.

If you take medications,

What's wrong with you?

All this stuff.

And I've talked to a lot of people internationally who are like,

How could that be a thing?

And I always tell people the United States has a very rocky relationship with mental health.

But so that was that was not talked about.

Neurodiverse was not talked about.

The word autism,

I think,

Was being used a lot more.

But it was very much like hush hush behind closed doors kind of conversations.

And that really frustrated me as a kid,

Because the only sense of representation was hostile representation.

It was for the people who were biased against the community.

And so long way of saying,

Yes,

It wasn't talked about.

But I think we're getting better at it.

I think it's just we have a long way to go.

We're in the Stone Age.

And obviously,

For a lot of people,

I'm not going to say why.

I'm just going to call them things.

Things are happening that are scaring a lot of people right now.

It's so scary right now.

But I think one of the beautiful things about the autism or neurodiverse or mental health communities is things have never been easy for us.

Like inherently,

There's always been so much stacked against us.

And I think,

You know,

There are people who fight and persevere every day.

There are people who instill hope every day.

And the only thing I'll add to that,

Just to that,

Is I think it's so easy to read the news,

To look at all of the scary stuff happening worldwide.

But I think that is,

You know,

As people who are tempered,

People who are taught to endure a lot,

I think the beautiful thing is every single day when I,

You know,

I show up to work,

I do what I do,

There's good happening every single day.

And again,

I'm kind of rambling a little bit,

But I think that this community,

The neurodiverse,

The autism,

Whatever we want to call it,

It is a beautiful progression of hope.

And we are strong.

We are resilient.

And I would recommend anyone who is having that hard day or worry,

Just focus on the good things for a little bit.

Because the autism community is full of people who persevere and we make the world brighter every day.

We may not be perfect.

We may not communicate the way that we always want to,

But it's such a loving community.

I love that.

And nobody's perfect,

Literally.

Even if they think they're perfect,

They are sadly mistaken.

So thank you.

That was just such a perfect,

Again,

I love that word.

You're very eloquent.

And I don't know if anybody's told you that.

But I can tell that you're absolutely committed and passionate to the work that you're doing.

I want to ask you,

How did you get involved with,

You know,

Your advocacy of storytelling,

Creativity?

I endlessly just,

I love creators and artists.

And so how they kind of,

Sometimes they slide into it,

Sometimes they stumble into it,

Sometimes it's really intentional.

How did you get,

You know,

How did that call to you or how did that begin?

So I'm going to be honest,

All three of those things,

Probably 17 more.

So I have loved storytelling ever since I was a young kid.

I'm sure that growing up,

I had a lot of storytellers in my life,

Some of them positive storytellers,

Some of them not.

But I remember at the youngest age,

I would,

My parents would read to me.

When I got old enough to read,

I latched on to books,

Especially as a kid who was struggling with mental health and stuff and my own neurodiversity and all that.

Books were so much of my life,

And especially when my bipolar affective disorder really started kicking in.

My closest confidant were books and stories.

And when I was a kid and I had a very substantial loss in my life,

That's really what set my life on a very particular path.

I also spent a lot of my time reading in school.

I was actually,

I always tell people,

If you think you were edgy as a kid,

Try being the four-year-old who was getting mad at people because they weren't reading Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven in the right way.

I was literally that kid.

I would argue with people and people would be like,

Did you,

Do you know what The Raven is?

And I said,

Yes,

You are wrong.

Read it better.

And so that was me.

That was my passion for storytelling.

And to this day,

The Raven is like one of my all-time favorite stories.

Edgar Allen Poe is my literary hero,

Which probably tells you a lot about what I expect to achieve and the,

Like,

Very little money I expect to make over the course of my lifetime.

Also,

I also mentioned that loss.

Not long after that,

I really,

My school life changed.

When I was younger,

I was considered a prodigy.

When I had that significant loss in my life,

That changed.

I became the problem student or the disruptive one.

I had a lot of educators who didn't want to work with me because I was deemed too tough.

I'm sure there's some bias there in my own personal narrative and my insight into that journey.

But,

And I'm not here to make things,

Make it sound like I made anyone's life easier,

Because I definitely didn't all the time.

I really was a bit of a nascence from time to time.

But I remember being in fifth grade and people telling me I was going to end up in jail and a lot of other horrible things like that.

I'm not going to say just for the sake of the audience,

But that was my experience for a long time.

So stories and advocacy became my life.

I started writing about that.

I actually ended up in a program that really helped me in high school.

And I had so many supportive,

Loving teachers who accepted me as I was.

Many of them,

I don't think I'd be who I am today without,

Especially my high school principal,

Who sadly has passed away.

But was one of the greatest advocates I've ever known,

Not just for myself,

But for every student in that program.

Not long after I graduated from that program,

I went to college.

Something people told me I never would,

Which I,

To this day,

I think I kind of went to college as like a middle finger to the people who told me that I never would.

Because I definitely did not enjoy it towards the end of my time there.

I wanted to learn what I wanted to learn,

Not the 17 subject matters I was forced to learn.

So I graduated with a poetry degree.

I'd actually published my first book by then.

And so I'll speed up a little bit here.

So not long after that,

I was in retail and I decided to quit retail at a certain point because I was miserable.

I am a huge believer that if you are working a job that makes you miserable and unhappy and tired and angry,

Don't do it.

Life is too short for that.

On top of that,

I then ended up as a reading tutor,

Did really well there.

I remember I helped several young students fall in love with writing.

I then went into a day program and then ended up in my day job where I am now.

Where I've been for about 10 years.

But I opened up my business at a point in my life where I was really down and out.

I always tell people because they ask me how well I'm doing,

Like why am I doing so well?

And I always say it's a lifelong day to day practice of self-care,

Of dedication,

Of not giving in to the negative stuff,

Which has been hard.

I'm not going to lie.

So I opened my business when I was going through a major depressive period.

And I asked myself,

What was the only thing that was going to stop me from breaking past this?

And the one word that came to mind was a storyteller.

And that literally got me off the couch that I had been at for three days.

And I got up.

It made me smile,

Made me feel joy.

And I opened my business a couple of weeks later.

It wasn't fully operational until about 2022,

About a year later.

Well,

Less than a year later.

And I started getting gigs.

One of them was going to be D&D,

Dungeons and Dragons.

I wasn't expecting to do that as much as I do.

I'm going to be honest.

I was going to be on stages and at festivals and all this stuff.

And some of that has panned out.

Some of it hasn't.

But I started doing Dungeons and Dragons for my community.

And got a job with the Autism Community Store.

Since then,

It's kind of been a whirlwind.

I've been highlighted internationally.

I've done many,

Many talks on this work.

I've been partnered with over 50 businesses.

Run several different events.

Depending on the platform,

I'm rated five stars.

All kinds of stuff.

And it's been a really beautiful ride.

Obviously,

I'm thinking through a lot of things.

But I'm glad to say I survived COVID with my business.

We survived the writer strike.

The Wizards of the Coast boycott.

We're going to have a lot of challenges coming up here.

I'm not going to say what,

Again,

Because I don't want to open that up.

But it's been really beautiful.

And this year alone has been one of the biggest series of successes that I've had.

I'm actually getting so much work.

I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to fill it all in.

And I have a few organizations that are like,

We're paying you too little.

We want to pay you more.

And it's been a really beautiful thing.

I'd love to say it was easy.

But it's a lot of grueling,

Intense,

Hard work.

It's a lot of answering the phone when I don't want to.

It's a lot of rolling with some very significant punches.

Sometimes it feels like being entombed in a series of chaos.

But I love it.

And I love what I do.

And I'm hopeful to be able to do this for a lot longer.

Oh my goodness.

I can tell you're a professional speaker because you're just kind of impeccable.

I love that summary of kind of where you've arrived now.

I mean,

Where you began and where you've arrived.

And I also especially appreciate that you're like,

Hey,

This wasn't easy.

This took like a while.

A lot of people just give up when they're creating something or trying to start a business or what have you.

But you have to go through the thick and thin.

You have to understand that nothing's going to be an overnight success.

And here you are after witnessing your journey and you're in this place that seems really abundant and really amazing.

Despite,

You know,

You alluding to the future,

You know,

Stresses and hardships that might be coming,

Which I hope are not too hard and not too stressful.

And I think you are an incredible advocate for people who have been diagnosed or labeled neurodiverse because,

You know,

Sometimes I think people hear that word or hear autism or whatever you want to call it.

And they say to themselves,

Oh,

That person can't function in society.

Oh,

That person isn't able to hold up.

And there are lots of different levels of autism.

And,

You know,

They've even demonstrated that those with autism that are nonverbal can sometimes use a story speller to spell and communicate.

So there are ways to communicate with people,

Maybe that have autism,

Probably that we haven't even discovered yet,

Frankly,

To be quite honest.

I also want to tell you that I'm so grateful that you said Edgar Allan Poe was in The Raven because I,

You know,

I am a bibliophile.

I love to read more than anything.

Mine is fantasy and sci-fi,

Massive sci-fi fan.

And,

You know,

When I was a kid,

I just reveled in books.

I loved them so much.

They were kind of a respite and,

I don't know,

Like a vacation from everyday life.

Like I could go there and feel safe in those books.

And so I just was a voracious reader.

I'm still a voracious reader.

I love books.

But,

You know,

Whenever I find a good series like N.

K.

Jemisin or Xixin Liu,

His three body problem,

I just devour.

And then I'm like,

Why can't I want to live in those worlds?

That sounds like so much better.

So thank you,

Because as a bibliophile,

I'm always like,

What do you like to read?

So I have to tell you that Edgar Allan Poe's The Telltale Heart absolutely haunts me.

And it's,

I mean,

Okay.

So is it kind of like the echoing ramifications of Poe's stories?

Is that what captured you?

Kind of that the story doesn't end when the last word is read.

That this idea or this haunting continues afterwards.

Is that what captured you?

So I'm going to be honest.

So as much as I love The Raven,

I actually think his less famous works are his best works.

Partly because as much as I love The Raven,

I think about first answer your question.

Yes,

I think it's the haunting of it.

Edgar Allan Poe,

In my opinion,

Was an advocate for mental health and what happened to the mental health community long before that was really a norm and really discussed.

And I think what makes his story so good as they are deeply hauntingly human,

Like their horror stories,

But it's not because of like death and gore and so much of what I can't stand about Western horror,

Which in my opinion is just it is a fuel for violence and all this kind of stuff.

I actually love a lot of anime horror because it's very much the opposite.

But I think Edgar Allan Poe's stories inherently are human and have more to do with things like loss and fear and isolation and degradation and things than people give him credit.

I feel like he often is just called a horror writer.

But I think his stories are so inherently human that you could probably look at his writing several different ways.

But I do think part of it is how they stick with us.

The other thing is,

I mean,

The Raven in and of itself is about a person who is losing their who's lost someone they love.

And it's the creepiness of it,

In my opinion,

Comes from the fact that this could be a conversation anyone could have with,

In my opinion,

Something that was there and was not there.

And so if any of us could have that conversation at any point.

And speaking of media,

James Earl Jones,

When he read The Raven on like the I think it was the first Simpsons Halloween special.

Definitive,

In my opinion,

Reading of The Raven,

Even though it's like partly comedy,

Like he has that timber and and tone to it.

And if you haven't listened to it,

Please go listen to it,

Because my goodness was expertly crafted.

But,

You know,

It's how it lasts.

And I think his stories are also so inherently human that they could be a moment of loss and of unwellness for anyone.

But especially the oh,

My gosh,

The telltale heart.

Such a beautiful resonation of of temporary greed leading to eternal guilt.

I even heard philosophers talk about the fact,

I think,

That the narrator didn't actually kill anyone.

He was just associated and therefore the guilt played into it.

But I mean,

That's the thing with Edgar Allan Poe.

People will constantly look at it in different ways.

But to also play into the other side of things,

I think when you have a writer,

Especially someone who,

From what I heard,

Gave up a lot of money for by not moving to Europe when he was writing because he wanted to succeed in a certain way.

I think the thing that makes his writing so profound is so many people know his famous stories.

But so many people,

When they run across his least favorite,

Least famous,

And they read the haunting sorrow that just exists in all of his work,

It exemplifies his talent because it's one of those things like something is so famous,

Everybody knows about it,

But they may not like it.

And then people don't realize the massive amount of work that he did that did not,

Does not,

In people's opinion,

Match The Raven,

Which in my mind,

Occasionally surpasses it.

I have to tell you that I am thoroughly thrilled that now we've brought The Simpsons into the conversation.

Hello.

Thank you,

Dream guest.

Thank you.

I want to ask you,

My second question is,

Did you grow up in a religious household?

And if you did,

You know,

How is that kind of connection to the divine,

If you even have it?

You know,

We don't judge here,

But how has that evolved over time for you?

So I'm going to filter a lot of what I'm about to say just out of respect for a lot of people.

Actually,

I had a meeting earlier that was happening with someone else's work,

And I live with someone who is very religious.

So I will say,

To try to filter this,

I actually believe the belief in something else other than just humanity is inherently a necessity to human beings.

The reason I say that is I have seen faith or religion or spirituality or realistically just a belief in like chakra or,

You know,

Going to a newspaper to see what's going to happen in your day.

It's healthy.

It's an important,

Distinctly vital part of human life.

And I think it helps to motivate us.

I will say,

If I did not grow up in a religious household,

I think I would have a very different skew on morality.

I also don't think that I would have grown up with a strong sense of forgiveness,

Patience,

Loving people around me and practicing compassion.

I don't think I would have had that at all.

And I shudder to think of the person that I could have become.

That being said,

Myself,

I am not particularly religious as of now.

I like to say that I'm spiritual and I do have strong connections to Christianity.

I just.

It is frustrating to me to see,

And I'm not saying this just about Christianity,

Not at all.

It becomes frustrating for me in any sense of faith or identity where people utilize their connection to something more to become hostile and angry and judgmental.

And I have seen that in a lot of things.

I also believe any time you have the belief that you are guaranteed to get to a paradise,

No matter what their religion is,

That becomes a very easy mindset to stop being accountable for actions,

To start becoming intensely hateful to the people who are not like you and to look at those who do not carry your faith or your spirituality with a disdain and an anger that allows us as people to become so self-indulgent in our pride that we tear apart anyone who acts or says something differently.

And so that being said,

Like I have that very duality thing of like carry compassion,

Carry empathy,

Carry love,

But don't let it permeate and destroy your sense of right and wrong.

Humans create meanings in so many different ways.

You can tell one story,

You can tell two stories,

Just about a miraculous or amazing event or something that changed everything for you.

I'd love to hear it.

So I could tell so many stories,

But I am going to kind of narrow down to one theme for the sake of time.

So one of the things that I'm a big proponent of,

Other than the arts and advocacy and things,

Is a strength-based mindset.

I love the idea of supporting and educating people based off their strengths.

And if someone's listening and going,

How are you going to confront someone in that?

A strength-based mindset is not just about saying only good things.

It's also about building off from negative situations in a positive and loving mindset and helping people accept their flaws so they can be better.

And so when I started applying this to a lot of people,

And I can talk about myself here in a moment,

But in particular youth and adults,

So often the people that I run into or I work with,

One of the first things that I hear from them is,

I apologize or I'm sorry for doing a certain behavior.

And it can be as simple as accidentally interrupting.

It can be as simple as asking a question or standing next to me.

And so when I really started exemplifying a strength-based mindset,

And trust me,

I am not perfect at this.

I may seem rational and calm.

I'm definitely not rational and calm all the time.

When I started exemplifying this and providing it for people,

I noticed one,

There was a really loving change in people's mindset.

Pride started developing.

Comfort with who they are started developing.

More and more people started talking about what I did.

People started acknowledging that they could thrive outside of school.

I've met many,

Many adults.

I met hundreds and hundreds of people and introduced them to D&D,

Dungeons and Dragons.

But as core,

It's really been forming this community,

Built off the idea that everyone can thrive.

And I've seen that in kids who are excited and willing to share stories.

I've seen that in people rolling dice.

I've seen that by sharing my story on podcasts and on stages.

And so that in and of itself,

I think is beautiful and wonderful.

But at the core,

When someone leaves those spaces and they are able to carry themselves into the rest of their life and thrive,

That's amazing,

Let alone on the scale in which I've seen it.

Now,

I said I'd touch on myself.

So when I actually started to accept,

Because I've had a lifelong struggle with liking myself,

With accepting myself,

With let alone trying to love myself,

That is still a daily struggle for me.

I had to undo pessimism.

I had to undo self-hatred.

I had to undo a negative self-talk.

To this day,

When people ask me for meetings,

The first thing that comes to my mind is,

Oh,

My gosh,

Am I going to lose someone?

Or is someone going to fire me?

Or all this stuff just based on all the trauma.

But when I really started seeing my talents,

My strengths,

My ability to thrive,

I also started to like myself.

And that is magical.

That is wonderful for me.

And when I started seeing that I was able to give myself genuine compliments,

When I didn't immediately direct people to a different mindset,

When they complimented me,

That was miraculous.

That was undoing over 30 years of abuse,

Trauma,

Neglect,

Exploitation,

Self-hatred.

And that's part of the reason why I love my work because it reminds me every day to care for people,

But to also care for myself and continue my wellness and my healing for myself,

Which many people have said,

But also so the people around me can thrive.

Beautiful.

Oh,

My goodness.

I was listening to you and thinking to myself,

I can't imagine,

I mean,

The label of prodigy is a huge one.

And when you're a kid,

It's,

I don't think you quite,

You might've understood the scope of what that word meant.

It's just so massive.

And,

You know,

With that word comes expectation and people around you maybe preferring or wanting or desiring you to behave in one way or be one way or inhabit the world in one way.

And then when you,

You know,

You act in a way that's,

You know,

For them less than ideal or what have you,

They tend to not like that.

So I just have been listening to you and thinking to myself,

Oh,

My goodness,

Prodigy was the right word,

But in a way that is really generous and kind because you have excavated and discovered these parts of yourself that then you can take the gifts to other people and bestow gifts on other people and acceptance and belonging and community,

And also helping them to see their own gifts,

Which is like massive,

Massive work.

And frankly,

We need more of that in this world.

You know,

We also need less ego in the world.

And it seems like you really just show up and you tell people,

You know,

Here I am.

This is what I can offer.

These are the gifts I bring.

And there's not a lot of hubris behind it.

There's just this understanding that you have a capacity to make the world better and to help people love themselves and see themselves and understand themselves.

But I was just listening to you and I thought,

Gosh,

Prodigy,

What a word to live into.

And then,

You know,

You reference this earlier,

Really terrible loss you had as a child.

And,

You know,

When any child has a loss that's that huge,

That is that devastating,

My God,

It's going to change them forever.

And it's also going to have them act out or change their behavior in ways that will be unexpected to everyone else in the area.

And as far as mental health,

You know,

Children need more help in that regard.

They need more assistance.

They need more people showing up,

Telling them,

You know,

I want to listen to you.

I want to,

How can I be of assistance?

How can I show up for you?

And I feel like you're doing all of this and more.

And so I'm just like grateful right now.

I just want to tell you,

I'm putting it out there that I'm so grateful that you're doing the work that you're doing.

And I want to address the U.

S.

Has a really sick culture with this story of independence and pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

And if you can't handle it,

You are a weak link and you deserve to be,

You know,

Whatever,

Shuffled off to the side or ignored.

Whereas I found strength in the narrative.

Hey,

We're all here for each other every day.

How can you show up for someone and help them or lift them up or help them to rise?

That idea of individualism has not been helpful for those who are suffering from mental illness.

You know,

Whether it's brought on by an inciting incident or it's brought on by genetic,

Something genetic happens and they can't control it.

So I am just grateful for you.

I'm grateful for you speaking on these issues and I'm grateful for your advocacy in so many different arenas there.

Has anyone ever said that to you?

That was a lot of words.

I've gotten variations of that,

But thank you very much.

We need more of you.

I don't know if anybody's ever told you that.

I'm sure some people have told you that.

I just,

You know,

This might seem like a lame question or a derivative question,

But how do you,

You know,

Every day with this work,

Showing up for people,

Helping them kind of cultivate their creativity or even their own,

You know,

Themselves,

This person that is beneath the surface that they've never been able to bring out,

Maybe because they don't feel safe,

Maybe because they haven't had the time or the opportunity.

How do you keep going with this every day,

Every month,

Every year?

How do you find the energy and the passion and the drive to continually show up?

So I would love to say that it's just a me thing.

And there have definitely been days where I've wanted to quit and like chuck it all to the side.

I think the real inspiration comes from other people and the signs of success.

I have been,

I'll be honest with you.

I have worked with a lot of cases where I truly believe people did not want to do the work,

Did not want to try to get better.

And that's really hard.

It's hard for anyone.

It's hard on that person.

But to see the success stories every day that I see,

That's what keeps me motivated.

And I would love to say that it's just me making all this happen,

But I feel like that would reduce and remove all the effort of all of the community workers,

Community members I work with.

And I think for me,

The other thing that really,

Really exemplifies it is people showing up and playing the games,

People putting in the effort,

People asking questions,

That's crucial.

But at the same time,

Part of it for me is I get to do a lot of different things.

I'm someone who thrives off of creativity.

I think if I was doing D&D with the same people every day,

For several hours a day,

I would not enjoy it at this point.

But I get to see new people.

I get to try new things.

I get to work with new programs,

New stories,

New different working mechanisms,

Which really keeps that love alive.

But also there's,

Right now at this point,

There's a lot of different people asking for different things.

I have had to fill a lot of very specific niches because there's not a lot of people doing what I do.

In the way that I should say,

In the way that I do it.

And so that is wonderful.

I also live in a fantastic state that is very mental health motivated,

That is very focused on the benefit of the community.

And I think if I lived elsewhere,

That probably wouldn't be the case,

Right?

Like the community,

The purpose of the community is community in my mindset.

And I am so,

So blessed that I got to do it.

I also live with family that helps to support during this time of developing this business,

Which has grown substantially because I've had a safe and secure place to be.

So it's a lot of different things.

It's a lot of different mindsets.

But at the end of the day,

Even if there is a moment where I really don't want to do something,

The other thing that really helps is gratitude.

I am so,

So,

So grateful for everything I get to do in the way I get to do it.

And I'm so,

So,

So grateful for my community.

And I think that shines and people know,

Well,

I know people know when they're being treated with gratitude.

And showing gratitude towards the small things,

The tiny things and the big things is huge.

And that helps.

I hope you forgive me,

But I was just listening to you and thinking,

I think Thomas R.

Wilson is the miracle and your community is the miracle and the state of New Hampshire is the miracle.

And all together,

You've created this really miraculous and magical beauty for everyone else.

So thank you.

Thank you.

I should say I am in Colorado.

Oh,

You're in Colorado now.

I don't know why I thought you were in New Hampshire for some reason.

You might've seen that in my bio.

I grew up in New Hampshire.

Okay.

Well,

Transfer everything I just said to the great state of Colorado.

And I think we're good.

Okay.

I hope you enjoyed this podcast and I hope you enjoyed meeting Thomas,

Who is making the world better and shinier for those in the neurodiverse community,

But also by extension for the rest of us.

You know,

I love a good story.

And so anyone that is facilitating stories or magic or miracles or anything that has to do with using imagination and play in this world to include everyone else,

Man,

I am all in.

So the work that Thomas is doing spoke directly and speaks directly to my heart.

Please do remember that ratings and reviews are so needed and I love them.

Wherever you listen,

If you could maybe write a little review or leave a rating,

I'd be ever so grateful.

Thank you for listening.

And here's my one request.

Be like Thomas.

See the need in your community and then have a brainstorming session to fill it.

How can you be someone's angel?

How can you be someone that brings beauty to others?

How can you step into the breach and facilitate belonging,

Community,

Amazingness,

Whatever that looks like.

I mean,

I know we're all so busy and we're all like running around like chickens with their heads cut off,

But still,

Still,

Please think about seeing the need.

I mean,

In fact,

I don't give you a choice.

See the need and then figure out how to fill it.

So that's,

Yeah,

That's my Be Like Thomas ask this week.

I can't wait to see you this weekend for another episode of the pod.

Until then,

I hope you have a beautiful few days and you're enjoying these August summer days.

And with that,

I'll see you so very soon.