Episode Twenty-Two: The Byte-Shawn - Patrick Boyd

In this shorter episode, we learn that Shawn's father was dying, or rather, not dying. Find out how Shawn discovered what was unresolved in his father's life, and how that message changed everything for the both of them.

Transcript

The Ark of the Covenant fits so perfectly into the religious doctrine I was raised in.

And so it was like,

This is right up my alley,

This adventurer who's looking for these religious relics and the lost Ark being one of them.

And I remember after watching the movie,

I went to bed and I knew that this was just a movie so that they hadn't really found the lost Ark.

And so I thought,

That means it's still out there somewhere.

So I said,

I'm gonna write a letter to God.

And I wrote this letter and I put it on my bed stand.

And I said,

God,

If you will draw me a map of where the Ark is on the back of this paper,

I won't tell anyone where it is,

I will keep the secret.

So with this graphic novel that I've been writing,

It's called Winona Forever.

And it deals with four eighth graders in a small town in Minnesota.

And they're on the hunt for a supernatural relic.

So those are sort of like the,

You know,

If I were to give an elevator speech,

That's what that's about.

But on a more personal level,

What I did is I was borrowing elements from my own past because I was an eighth grader in Winona,

Minnesota.

And I was,

I didn't fit in.

I was,

You know,

One of the nerds.

I was bullied,

I was teased.

I was just the smart kid that,

You know,

Like I made fun of it,

All this.

And I was very lonely and really sad.

And that year,

As I look back on it over time,

Something I like really carry with me,

Like a heavy bag,

Almost like something like there's a bitterness about it,

There's a sadness about it,

There's an anger.

There's something that I don't wanna in some ways like deal with.

It's like,

Yeah,

That's put that on the shelf.

Oh,

That was a horrible year.

We were glad I'm not an eighth grader anymore,

Right?

But in working on this story,

I had to really go into that and really use those elements and put them in the characters,

Put my experiences in the characters,

Show how they deal with being lonely and being,

You know,

What I,

They're called the outcasts in the book.

They've kind of embraced this as an identity that people think that they're geeks.

So it's been really interesting because in telling the story and having to deal with it,

I feel like I've really,

It's almost like I've healed the wound in a pretty big way.

So I think there's some sort of magic,

You know,

In creativity,

Because I do think it has a real tremendous power to heal.

["The So it's been really interesting because in telling the story and having to deal with it,

I feel like I've really,

It's almost like I've healed the wound in a pretty big way.

So I think there's some sort of magic,

You know,

In creativity,

Because I do think it has a real tremendous power to heal.

["The So it's been really interesting because in telling the story and having to deal with it,

I feel like I've really,

It's almost like I've healed the wound in a pretty big way.

So I think there's some sort of magic,

You know,

In creativity,

Because I do think it has a real tremendous power to heal the wound in a pretty big way.

["For me,

I just know,

I have this sense in sort of like my solar plexus and,

You know,

People will say like a gut feeling,

But that's,

And that's definitely where I feel it.

If I have a few directions to choose from,

I have a sense of,

Oh,

This is actually the direction to go.

I don't get visions of what it is necessarily.

It really is like a feeling of certainty.

And whether,

You know,

You'd consider that like communication with,

You know,

The universe,

Great spirit,

Whatever,

Or if it's like intuition or if that is a conversation,

Right?

Intuition is a conversation with the everything,

The allness.

So sort of one example I have is,

So gosh,

My dad,

He died seven years ago now,

And he had a number of like heart problems and things like from birth.

So he was already sort of starting beyond the behind the eight ball.

So for him to have lived to almost be 70 was incredible.

But anyway,

Towards the end of his life,

He was having kidney failure also.

So he was on dialysis.

He was going to dialysis multiple times a week.

And then they said,

Oh,

You're gonna actually have to go even more.

So he was gonna have to spend like four days a week in dialysis.

And he just said,

You know what,

This,

I can't,

Like my life is attached to a machine.

This isn't life.

I've had a great life.

I'm ready to go.

And so he said,

I'm done with the dialysis.

Normally people that stop dialysis die within a month.

Like,

I don't know what it is.

It's like,

I think a month is actually a stretch.

They don't live very long.

So my dad stopped dialysis in July.

We spent Christmas with him in December.

He was still alive in December.

The doctors couldn't figure out what the heck is going on.

How are you still alive?

They figured out that he,

By the way,

Only had one kidney.

He was born with one kidney.

They never knew all his life that he only had one kidney until it started to fail.

And he had to go on dialysis.

They said,

Oh,

You know,

You only have one kidney.

And he said,

No,

I don't know that.

So here's a man that should have been dead within a month.

Even if he had two kidneys,

He's got one and he's still living five months later.

He was kind of in misery and he was,

He was sort of at a loss.

Like,

Why am I still alive?

It was sort of,

The Bible,

It sort of reminds me of that moment,

Like when Jesus says,

I think,

My God,

My God,

Why have you forsaken me?

That was the feeling I got from my dad.

It's like,

Why have you forsaken me?

I'm supposed to be dead.

I'm suffering.

I'm still alive.

It makes no sense.

And so I,

One day I was,

I was laying in bed and I was just thinking about my dad and the situation and going,

How is he still alive?

And I had this very calm,

So it wasn't like a big feeling and like a booming voice or anything.

It was a very calm,

Sort of still,

Certain voice kind of coming in my gut.

And it was,

He needs to heal things with his brother.

I thought,

Oh,

That's really interesting.

And I knew exactly what was meant by that.

And so I called my dad the next day and I said,

You know,

Dad,

You're,

You know,

I know that you and your brother,

Jim,

Like,

It's not like you're on bad terms,

But the sense I have is that you just kind of need to like,

Come together and say,

Things are okay.

We,

All the things that are in our past,

We don't need to dredge them up.

We don't need to talk about them.

We just really need to like,

Acknowledge we're okay.

That stuff doesn't matter.

And my dad was just,

I said,

I got this feeling.

I got this sense.

I got,

You know,

Almost like a message and he really kind of took it in.

And I wasn't sure if he was gonna do anything about it because it did seem a little,

You know,

Maybe to his way of thinking of things like maybe odd and strange,

But I could hear him taking it in and sure enough,

He called his brother.

His brother was really glad to hear from him.

He didn't know that he was dying and his brother came and visited one afternoon.

And that's,

I don't even think they spoke about the past.

I don't think they needed to say anything.

It was really just that feeling that I had was,

You just need to come together and acknowledge like your bond and your love and see like,

Right?

Like,

Oh,

We're okay.

And within,

I think it was two weeks after that,

My dad died because I think,

And he got to see his brother a few times,

But I think what happened is I got that sense,

Whatever that voice was,

Just kind of said like,

That's why he's still here is because he hasn't healed that.

And as soon as that happens,

He'll be able to let go.

That's what happened.

And it feels kind of,

It feels very emotional even now to feel like,

Oh,

Wow,

I feel lucky that I was open enough or listening enough or whatever to receive that message.

Cause I guess somebody needed to receive the message.

So I guess I was just the open conduit at that moment.

But then there's just these other things that are just so clear and that message was so clear.

I think it helped me to calibrate my own attunement,

You know,

So that it was like,

Oh,

When a message comes in that way,

That is coming from,

You know,

Spirit or the beyond.

I got real sense of what the quality of that felt like for me so that when it happens again,

I know what that feels like.

I was just thinking about how you and Kathleen are such a really powerful,

Interesting couple,

Because,

You know,

She brings healing through her music and the song she writes and just her amazing blatant talent of creation.

And so she's telling stories through her songs,

Through her music.

And,

You know,

When she performs,

Cause I certainly never seen her perform in person,

But you know,

When she puts videos up and stuff,

It's very powerful to witness that and how it's like affecting people and how it is in the room that she's inhabiting and that you bring healing through stories,

Through screenplays,

Through everything that you're doing.

And so it's kind of like you guys are like this Uber couple,

As the Nazis would say,

An Uber couple.

It's always good to bring the Nazis into a conversation about spirituality,

I think.

Well,

I think they also wanted the Ark of the Covenant.

And maybe if they would have written a note to God and put it beside their bed and asked for the map.

That's all,

That was what was missing.

Maybe that's why I didn't get it.

It wasn't for,

The message wasn't for me.

This has been episode 22 of Bite-Sized Blessings,

The podcast all about the magic and spirit that surrounds us,

If only we open our eyes to it.

I'd like to thank Mr.

Sean Boyd,

The fabulous creator of the graphic novel,

Winona Forever,

For being my guest today,

As well as the creators of the music use.

Lilo Sound,

Sasha M,

Luis Mayorga,

Oscar H.

Caballero,

Alexander Nakarada,

Brian Holt's music,

Chilled Music and Music L-Files.

For complete attribution,

Please see the Bite-Sized Blessings website at bite-sized-blessings.

Com.

On the website,

You'll find links to books,

Music,

Music,

Music,

Music,

Music,

Music,

And more.

On the website,

You'll find links to books,

Music,

And maybe the graphic novel,

Winona Forever,

You never know.

Everything on the website is guaranteed to lift your spirits and inspire you and brighten your day.

Thank you for listening,

And here's my one request.

Be like Sean.

Find healing in your creativity,

And then bring that creativity to the world.