Episode Ninety-Nine: The Byte-Kurt Caswell

Author Kurt Caswell had no idea that a year teaching on a remote Navajo reservation would change his life. In this episode he shares two stories, one sweet and powerful, the other a story of rebirth. There are miracles in the desert, if only you know where to look.

Transcript

Welcome to episode 99 of Bite-sized Blessings.

This episode,

I interview the author Kurt Caswell.

And I discovered Kurt at a local bookstore here in Santa Fe,

New Mexico.

Specifically,

It's his book In the Son's House,

My year teaching on the Navajo Reservation.

And on Amazon,

The summary,

Here's a little bit of a summary of the book.

In the year he spent teaching at Borrego Pass,

A remote Navajo community in northwest New Mexico,

Kurt Caswell found himself shunned as persona non grata.

His cultural missteps,

Status as an interloper,

And white skin earned him no respect in the classroom or the community.

Those on the reservation assumed he would come and go like so many teachers had before.

But as Caswell attempts to bridge the gap between himself and those who surround him,

He finds his calling as a teacher and develops a love for the rich landscape of New Mexico and manages a hard-won truce between his failings and successes.

And this book does take place before the advent of cell phones.

You know,

The ease with which you can just go down to the local store and buy a cell phone.

This book happens way before all of that.

So when we talk about Kurt being really isolated,

And in fact the community being really isolated,

It's so isolated.

I don't think any of us can really comprehend what that looked like at this point.

In this episode,

Kurt discusses a couple of different miracles.

One of them is so charming and so full of joy that it kind of made my week,

Maybe even my month.

The second is the kind of experience that I think most of us wish we could have.

Those kind of experiences where you go out to the wilderness and you expect a revelation,

Some sort of shift in your reality,

In your perception of the world.

And so Kurt shared that miracle with me as well.

So now,

Episode 99 of Bite-Sized Blessings.

A little bit later,

She asked me,

You know,

Can I have like dessert?

Can I have like a something sweet I want?

You know,

Apple pie is what she was wanting.

And I said,

Well,

No,

You can't order that yet because after a little while,

The waitress will bring the food,

You'll eat,

Then she'll come back,

She'll ask you if you want anything else,

And then you can say you want dessert and you can order that.

So anyway,

As the evening proceeded,

Everything I told Judy would happen,

Happened just the way I had explained it to her.

And at some point,

She looked over at this other teacher,

Whose name is Lauren Sitnik,

And said,

And whispered,

You know,

Mrs.

Sitnik,

How does Mr.

Caswell know what's going to happen?

I can tell you,

So here's a story that's much more maybe grounded in place and time.

And it's much more about the place I was living,

You know,

In New Mexico.

This was in the spring semester.

I was charged with leading a group of students in practicing for a spelling bee.

And so the students would go and compete,

You know,

At various schools in these spelling bees.

And then there was an Eastern Agency,

Navajo Agency spelling bee.

So it was a collection of many schools.

And we went out to this place,

Chinle,

Arizona,

To go to the big spelling bee,

Which meant,

You know,

You put all the students on the bus.

There were several other teachers and myself and the bus driver.

And we had some money from the school and we'd stay in a hotel and eat in restaurants and stuff.

And you know,

So I went to,

Because these kids were,

You know,

They were sixth,

Seventh and eighth graders,

And because they were living in such a rural community and they didn't necessarily have great means,

You know,

Many of them didn't have running water or electricity at that time.

And so they'd grown up in even much more rural situation than I did.

And we went into town and we went into this restaurant and there was a third grader with us because her older sister was on the trip and she needed to be with her older sister.

So she comes along,

Her name was Judy.

And I was sitting next to Judy.

And she says,

You know,

Like,

Well,

How do I do this?

What do I do?

And I pointed out the menu to her and told her how to look at the options on the menu and that she needed to figure out what she wanted to have for dinner because we're all at this restaurant.

And then I said,

The waitress will come over and she'll ask you what you want and then you tell her.

And Judy was like,

Okay,

I'll do that.

So she looks at the menu and she didn't really understand even what she was reading.

So I kind of went through it with her.

And she finally figures out what she wants and the waitress comes over and asks what she wants and she orders it.

And then the waitress went away.

You know,

Everything worked just like I had said it would.

And then a little bit later,

She asked me,

You know,

Can I have like dessert?

Can I have like a something sweet?

I want,

You know,

Apple pie is what she was wanting.

And I said,

Well,

No,

You can't order that yet.

Because after a little while,

The waitress will bring the food,

You'll eat,

Then she'll come back.

She'll ask you if you want anything else.

And then you can say you want dessert and you can order that.

So anyway,

As the evening proceeded,

Everything I told Judy would happen,

Happened just the way I had explained it to her.

And at some point,

She looked over at this other teacher,

Whose name is Lauren Sidnick,

And said,

And whispered,

You know,

Mrs.

Sidnick,

How does Mr.

Caswell know what's going to happen?

Because she thought I was like projecting the future or something.

So I found that a very delightful moment.

You know,

It's the mind of a child,

Certainly,

But it's also the mind of a child who does not spend a lot of time in cities and towns,

You know.

I have to say that that whole story of that trip,

I loved it.

It was so,

It was so,

It made me just reexamine my own privilege and what I take for granted.

Absolutely.

You know,

Something which to me is so simple,

Like you go into a restaurant,

You sit down,

The waitress comes,

You know,

Is like this revelatory experience for a lot of these kids.

And I mean,

The ordering of the cheeseburgers and I just,

That whole adventure that you went on really arrested me and made me stop and think,

Holy cow.

I mean,

I take a lot for granted.

I really take a lot for granted.

But also it made me realize that just how much joy they all had and wonder and excitement at being able to buy candy bars or,

You know,

Having all these experiences and it was an adventure for them,

The whole thing.

Yeah.

And while,

You know,

That trip was certainly an expansion of their worldview,

You know,

They were with other Navajo kids because it was all Navajo spelling bee in Shinle,

Arizona.

But those kids in Shinle,

Arizona and from other parts of Arizona had a bigger world to live in.

They had much more connection with,

You know,

Towns and cities and,

You know,

Were going to places like Phoenix and Flagstaff occasionally.

Whereas those kids up at Borrego Pass just did not have the tools to get out to those places very often.

So this was a real expansion of their worldview.

And while I suppose that's as an adult,

You know,

That later,

Hopefully that would become a useful memory for them and experience.

But at the same time,

You know,

You're introducing them to this world that may not be as full of the kind of,

Let's say,

Simplicity and focus and joy as the world they were currently living in.

That I don't know if it's always good,

You know,

To show somebody that the bigger world is a,

Can also be a dark and cruel place,

You know.

But there was that also delightful moment when we're coming back on the bus to Borrego Pass and Judy sees a road sign and it says Gallup.

And there's an arrow that points straight up,

You know,

To indicate the ramp going onto the freeway back to Gallup.

And she looked over at me and she said,

Mr.

Caswell,

Gallup's in heaven.

Because she could see that arrow pointing up at the sky.

I taught for four years at a therapeutic boarding school in Northern California.

And when I was there,

We had a practice of,

We had a summer program in which we put students out on solo.

And they would have these periods of time,

Anywhere from two to three days where they were alone sitting in a wilderness setting,

You know,

So often it was a designated wilderness.

And then the trip leaders would kind of hang out at the base camp and we would just hold the space for them.

They went out with a journal and such.

When I came to Texas Tech,

I decided I was going to run this course with a backpacking trip and I was going to set my group out on solo for 36 hours.

So I went out and did a fast in Death Valley over New Year's.

So it's a four day fast.

You know,

I had this experience out there just before I had moved to Texas.

I was in Wyoming.

And I ended up,

You know,

And I was walking out behind this ranch where I was renting a house on this big Hereford Ranch.

It's the Wyoming Hereford Ranch.

And I discovered one evening as I was out walking,

You know,

Across this part of this ranch,

There's some kind of a constrictor that was wrapped around a red-tailed hawk.

And the hawk was alive and the constrictor was killing it.

What happened there,

I don't know,

You know,

Did this red-tail swoop down and think it's going to grab this constrictor and then the constrictor got the better of it.

And basically that hawk's lying there,

You know,

Being squeezed to death.

So I kind of started to get involved in this and I didn't really know.

First I thought I'll just leave him alone because this is nature doing what it does.

You know,

This is what right do I have to interfere?

But I did interfere a little bit and ended up separating them.

And I was in some way trying to save,

You know,

This hawk and I didn't necessarily know why but and then I tried to get this hawk to take off or to and it was just not really mobile maybe it was damaged,

You know,

Or injured beyond recovery.

So I left,

I just left it there.

I came back the next morning,

The hawk was gone and there was just a string of kind of bloody bones that was the snake.

So that was a very interesting moment.

I wrote a course about that in my journal,

Recorded all those details,

That kind of thing.

And then I went out on this fast,

This is several years later,

I went out on this fast and that story stuck with me and I told it to the group in greater detail because I had a dog with me and just around the time after that incident with the hawk,

My dog was killed,

You know,

In this kind of accident that I was not there,

She was staying with some friends,

The dog was killed and I associated that dog with that moment and the loss of that and all of this.

So the people in the group I was going out to fast with,

You know,

Said,

Oh,

There's something really important about this hawk and the red tail and blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

And I thought,

Yeah,

Whatever,

You know,

The sure,

I'm sure a random accidental moment is significant.

So I go out on my fast and,

You know,

You're out there for 24 hours or something,

The next day I get up,

It's New Year's Day.

So you go out on the 31st and your first morning is New Year's Day.

So I get up on New Year's Day and I decide I'm going to go for a hike up the canyon.

I'm just going to walk because I'm bored,

You know,

What else do you do?

You have no food,

You have just water and a little shelter and a journal and you're just sitting there.

So I decided to walk up the canyon.

And as I was walking up the canyon,

I got to some point where I thought,

Okay,

I'm going to turn around.

And I heard this commotion behind me.

And I turned around and there was this big red tail perched on the side of this rock face kind of,

You know,

Sitting up there and it's looking at me.

So I just looked back at this bird for a while.

And of course,

I thought about that moment with the bird in Wyoming and these stories coming together.

And then the hawk took off and it flew back down the canyon right to where my camp was.

And I thought,

Okay,

This hawk is telling me to go back to my spot,

You know.

So I went back to the spot.

And that's where I stayed until this big storm came in.

That storm kind of moved me.

I got up in the middle of the night in this horrendous wind and rainstorm and basically packed everything up and tried,

I was looking for some kind of shelter and I found this little kind of slot in the ground.

And I just put my sleeping bag in it because it was a little lower than the rest of the ground.

And I slept in there all night trying to hide from the wind a bit.

You know,

In my associations,

It was a bit like kind of crawling into a burial site or something like a,

You know,

Almost a place where you would put a body and cover it up,

A grave.

And so there was this experience there,

I suppose,

Of burying something and coming out in the morning and the storm was over and the sun was out and it was this glorious like 70 degree day and a kind of rebirth.

But that was a very spiritual is the right word,

But,

You know,

Spiritual moment for me where things came together in a way.

And I thought,

Yeah,

Maybe there is something that we call spirit.

First of all,

I can't believe that you would approach a constrictor,

Let alone try to separate.

I'm just I'm like,

What is he talking about?

What is he saying?

What is he saying?

Yeah,

I mean,

That's like one of those snakes where I feel like if it gets on your arm,

It's like never coming off.

And it's like,

It's all right.

Everything's over.

So kudos to you,

Because that's totally crazy.

Never catch me approaching a viper or constrictor,

Any kind of snake.

I just want to allay everyone's fears in case you're concerned about that.

I actually can't believe Kurt did it.

And it's kind of an astonishing story.

I'd like to take this time to ask everyone who listens to the podcast and who appreciates it,

Please consider writing a review or leaving a rating wherever you listen to the podcast.

Those ratings and reviews help others find us.

I'd like to thank my guest,

The snake wrangler,

Author Kurt Caswell.

I'd like to thank him for agreeing to appear on the show and for sharing both his sweet and his profound experiences.

I need to thank the creators of the music used in this episode,

Raphael Crux,

Chilled Music,

John Bartman,

Sasha End,

Alexander Nacarada,

Music L Files and Frank Schroeder.

For complete attribution,

Please see the Bite-Sized Blessings website at bite-sized-blessings.

Com.

On the website,

You'll find links to creators,

Artists,

Music and playlists I think will lift and inspire you.

You'll also find a link to the book discussed in this episode,

Kurt's book,

Under the episode show notes.

Thank you for listening.

And here's my one request.

Be like Kurt.

Try situations that are challenging,

That are unknown,

That might be scary.

Have a brave heart and walk towards those experiences.

Those experiences will test you,

They'll challenge you and then they'll craft you and shape you into someone braver and more beautiful than you could have ever imagined.