Episode Eighty-Two: The Byte - Cameron Fuller

Cam has had multiple miracles in her life - whether it was the apology that needed to happen with a friend that had died, or finding her way to her true path-miracles abound. But in Ep. 82, hear how forgiveness is one of the greatest miracles of all.

Transcript

Hello to everyone this week and welcome to episode 82 of Bite Sized Blessings.

This week I get to interview Cameron Fuller and this is how I met Cameron.

I just bought my house in Portland and it was spring.

I was going outside to look at all the yard work I needed to do and realized it was so very much yard work.

I was so grumpy and having the worst day and I'd heard rumors about this neighbor who was just one or two doors down from me but knew everyone,

Who was friends with everyone,

And I saw her approaching with this little baby in her arms.

And I was looking around the yard,

I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do.

I looked down,

The neighbor was slowly walking towards me and I'm thinking in my mind,

Do not walk towards me,

Do not walk towards me,

I'm too grumpy,

I'm having a bad day.

And then I'd look over,

Glance over and yep,

Like the terminator,

She was still coming,

Holding this baby,

Walking towards me and I thought,

You know,

At some point there's just this,

You know,

You have to give up and you have to go with the flow and you have to say,

Okay,

I guess we're going to meet today.

And that's when I met Cam.

Cam was the baby.

Cam would come over all the time.

When she was three,

Four,

Five,

She'd sit in my yard,

We'd have conversations.

She was absolutely the brightest child I'd ever talked to.

She loved being around adults,

Was able to have deep conversations,

Meaningful conversation,

Fun conversation.

And now she's in her twenties and I cannot believe that I have known this human being for so long.

So our talk today is a little interesting.

There are several different kinds of magical occurrences that have happened in Cam's life.

And I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg,

Right?

Because sometimes when I talk to my guests,

I realize they have so many more stories they could share,

But this podcast can only be so long.

Cam shares two or three of her stories and they're all a little bit different,

But really for me,

The miracle is that I've known this human for so very long that we've stayed very best friends,

That we love each other dearly,

Deeply.

And I've gotten to see her grow up into a wise,

Intelligent,

Compassionate human being who is absolutely going to change the world for the better.

I'm so very grateful that she's in my life and I'm so very grateful that her mother kept coming like the Terminator on that day because I have a deep friendship and almost a family connection with her family.

So that's my introduction.

And now,

Episode 82 of Bite-Sized Blessings.

Then I had a major surgery following that a year later.

I don't know what it was,

But while I was having the surgery,

I saw him and I got to have a conversation with him and I was able to talk and tell him how I felt and talk about our relationship and how much it meant to me and apologize for downplaying it and tell him that even though he's gone,

I'll always remember him and hold him close as a friend and I'll never downplay our relationship like that again,

No matter what other people want or want to hear.

And as I was coming out of anesthesia,

I could see him standing next to me and I knew it wasn't going to last very long,

But it was just incredible to be able to have that connection and say what I needed to say and really felt like he heard me.

At the beginning of the pandemic,

I lost a really close friend of mine.

We'd been in a show together and he was a lot older than I was and we had a connection based through that show and so we became really close and I felt because he was so much older than me that a lot of people didn't approve of our friendship or the relationship we had.

So I found myself downplaying our relationship to a lot of people to suit their expectations of what it should be or what it should look like and he passed away suddenly from COVID.

That was really hard for me,

Especially since he was living in California and I was living here and I just had a surgery and he was wanting to come visit,

Wanted to make sure my parents were comfortable with it first and it was an awkward relationship in navigating what other people expected from us and what they wanted us to be or not be.

And so for months afterwards,

I felt really guilty for having allowed other people's expectations and their judgment to influence how I felt about him and how I talked about him.

He was one of my closest friends.

I could talk to him about anything.

We would text all night long or talk on the phone all night long,

But we were never tired and we would text all the next day and we never ran out of things to talk about.

It was just one of those people where there will never be another person like them in my life.

That connection was so special and so unique and so I felt really bad about it and I had never gotten the opportunity to apologize.

I mean,

I'm not even sure he knew how much I downplayed our relationship,

But I knew.

He was unapologetic about who he was as a person and putting himself out there.

He was a musical therapist and he wrote songs and he wrote songs for me and I'd never had someone do that before.

I'm a very private person and so if I'm dating someone or if I'm friends with someone,

I don't do a lot of flashy friendships.

We were in a show together so he would come to rehearsal where he'd be practicing the songs for me.

Everybody knew and I hated that everybody knew.

I also loved how much he didn't care who knew that he thought I was incredibly special.

A lot of the people we were working with were very young and very immature and hadn't done a lot of shows.

And he'd done a lot of shows.

So he had a lot of professional experience as a musician and I had a lot of professional experience through theater.

And so both of us were kind of over the immaturity of a lot of the people in the cast.

It was a community college theater.

So you're going to get a lot of people who are exploring theater and that's good.

That's exactly what it should be.

There are still going to be frustrations with other cast members.

But then he and I and our group would go out after rehearsal and spend a lot of time together and we just got really close.

Then I had a major surgery following that a year later.

I don't know what it was but while I was having the surgery I saw him and I got to have a conversation with him.

And I was able to talk and tell him how I felt and talk about our relationship and how much it meant to me and apologize for downplaying it.

And tell him that even though he's gone I'll always remember him and hold him close as a friend and I'll never downplay our relationship like that again no matter what other people want or want to hear.

And as I was coming out of anesthesia I could see him standing next to me.

And I knew it wasn't going to last very long but it was just incredible to be able to have that connection and say what I needed to say and really felt like he heard me.

Were you surprised to see him when he showed up?

I was.

I was afraid that he would be mad at me and not want to talk to me or I was afraid that he wouldn't be there because maybe there isn't anything there.

Who really knows if there's an afterlife or if people linger.

Do you think he specifically came to you to give you the space to apologize?

I hope so.

And I hope that he just wanted to see me again.

I was really sad to see him because I knew that he wasn't still here on earth but I was also because his death was so sudden.

I'd been talking to him the day before he died.

At first when someone told me that he had passed away I thought it was a joke.

And so being able to get that closure was something that I'll never forget and something that I really needed.

And I think that in some way the universe knew that and allowed me to see him again.

And he wasn't mad as I didn't think he would be because that just wasn't who he was as a person and he understood.

I mean he understood why and we were able to move on together I feel like.

Thank you so much for listening to episode 82 of Bite-Sized Blessings.

And I'm so very grateful you all got to meet my neighbor and very good friend,

Cameron.

Cam has not had an easy life as far as her body is concerned.

She has a really rare syndrome called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome which wasn't diagnosed until her teen years but which has caused her to have multiple,

Multiple surgeries to fix how it affects her body.

So to say that she's resilient would be the understatement of the century.

She's been patient and so very strong with the process of fixing all the things that the syndrome affects.

And it's really been amazing for me to just see her bravery,

Witness her strength,

See how she goes through life with optimism and with grace.

So I really wanted to interview this human being who's been through so much and who's been such a blessing in my life.

I need to thank the creators of the music used for this episode,

John Bartman,

Otis Galloway,

Music L.

Files,

And Alexander Nakarada.

For complete attribution,

Please see the Bite-Sized Blessings website at bite-sized-blessings.

Com.

On the website,

You'll find links to other episodes,

Music,

Playlists,

Art,

And other fun treasures I think will lift and brighten your day.

Thank you for listening and here's my one request.

Be like Cam.

Be ever hopeful,

No matter what life throws at you,

What life gives you.

Be ever hopeful.

Know that there are solutions to your problems,

Whether they're out in the world or in your heart.

Those solutions are out there.

Have faith that the universe,

That that energy loves you and will guide you and take care of you.

So this week,

Have faith and hope.

And I'll see you next week for episode 83.