Ep. 103-The Byte: Mary Suzanne Garvey
Mary Suzanne lived in a nursing home for 2 1/2 years as her mother declined. Hear how being present for those about to die has changed Mary's life, and how the conversations with those we cannot see, can change everything. Trigger Warning: This practice may include references to death, dying, and the departed.
Transcript
Hello all and welcome to another episode of Byte's Highest Blessings.
In this episode,
Episode 103,
I interview Mary Suzanne Garvey,
Who describes herself as an artist,
A writer,
A selkie,
And a muse on the loose.
I was introduced to Mary Suzanne by my friend Jen Pierre-Rich.
And Jen told me a story that was kind of astounding,
That Mary had moved into a nursing home when her mother was very ill and lived there for two and a half years as her mother slowly declined.
I thought,
I have to meet this person.
Her story is a little near and dear to my heart because when I was a child,
My mother often took me to the nursing home in which she worked.
So meeting the residents,
Getting to know them over the course of the years,
It really informed the love I have for those who are older and all the stories and life experiences they have.
So now,
Episode 103 of Byte's Highest Blessings.
He had what I would call an ecstatic death.
And when he was laying on his deathbed,
He did what many people do,
Which is he saw angels.
He reached up and he was in a state of bliss.
And my aunts and uncles were there and they were like kind of thanking me for intervening because this outcome of the latter part of their lives was probably different than it could have been if they were in a nursing home.
I don't know.
But anyway,
He was obviously in the presence of something that was palpable in the room.
I couldn't see anything,
But I could feel that there was something there.
You alluded to this with what you just said,
But when did that energy come calling for you that the energy of God or that pagan energy,
However you describe it,
When did it start making itself known to you?
I think probably a little bit in high school,
But my heart didn't really burst open or feel the dimension,
I guess I would say,
That's holding us,
Like that vast awareness that's God,
That's Godness or whatever,
However you want to put it,
That is interacting with us.
I didn't feel that until I was in my later 20s.
And it had to do with my grandfather again because I had been studying theater and I was really involved in it in my third year of college when suddenly my mom called and said,
Honey,
Could you go stay with grandma and grandpa for the night?
So I went across town on the bus and my grandpa was 98 and my grandma was 102.
And I stayed the night and then within a very short time,
I realized that my aunts and my uncles were growing weary of hiring caregivers for my grandparents and they wanted to put them in a nursing home.
And my grandparents had this beautiful apartment,
It was where we always gathered throughout my life.
I just could not imagine that happening.
So I moved in,
I dropped out of college and I stayed with them until they died.
And my grandpa died first and he had what I would call an ecstatic death.
And when he was laying on his deathbed,
He did what many people do,
Which is he saw angels.
He reached up and he was in a state of bliss.
And my aunts and uncles were there and they were like kind of thanking me for intervening because this outcome of the latter part of their lives was probably different than it could have been if they were in a nursing home.
I don't know.
But anyway,
He was obviously in the presence of something that was palpable in the room.
I couldn't see anything,
But I could feel that there was something there.
And so he showed me this is a real thing.
And so I was exhausted because I was up for many,
Many nights with him.
But I still just was changed from that.
My grandmother lived on for two more years and she lived to be 105.
And then she also had a very interesting death.
And the deaths were the thing that really I had no idea.
I had never experienced anything like that.
I was only in my late 20s.
And so to me,
That was really how I tasted the divine was the moment of their leaving.
My grandmother,
She was a very independent woman.
Well,
She was talking to these visitors before she died,
Which also is very common when people do that.
And one night she was talking so loud and I was in the next room and I said,
Hey,
Grandma,
Do you think you could talk to your friends tomorrow?
And she just looked at me like,
What?
No.
She was showing me this is a way that our people come to get us and take us home.
And so my sister came over to visit me and my grandma and my sister is named after my grandma.
And I think there was some kind of link with that because she would often say,
Where's Anne?
Where's Anne?
And I was like,
Hey,
What about me?
What am I?
Chopped liver.
So Anne came over and we walked back to my grandmother's room and she was dying.
She had pneumonia.
And we kneeled down on either side of the bed and we were holding hands over my grandmother's heart.
And she took her last breath,
Like right in that moment that my sister came to visit.
We could feel her spirit float up through our hands and we were looking at each other.
It was so,
So stuff like that,
You know,
That you just can't,
You just don't know how that happens.
But it is a phenomenon.
And I think only when you experience it so closely,
Do you really,
I mean,
I don't know if I would have believed it myself.
My mom also,
When she died,
I'd been with her for a couple of years,
Living in this retirement home with her.
And she did have dementia,
But she was lucky because she didn't forget who we were and stuff like that.
She was 99 when she died.
And about a month before,
She started talking to her visitors.
And I knew then because I had been with my grandmother and I'd been through it before.
I thought,
Oh,
Wow,
Like this is,
She's actually,
It's finally happening.
Like she's finally telling me she's getting ready.
And one night she had an eight hour conversation with these spirits.
And I went into her room and laid down next to her.
I thought,
Well,
I want to get in on the action.
I want to see if I can,
You know,
Talk to them too.
So I said something,
You know,
Trying to kind of get in on the deal.
And she turned to me and she said,
No,
Not you.
Like this is the world that I need to be in and you need to stay in this other world.
Like it was just a little break in that,
You know,
A little moment where she broke a character or something.
And she looked at me and she's like,
No,
Mayor,
You got to stay here.
So then she said,
Well,
The night went on all night.
But she said,
Well,
I brought my clothes for the wedding,
But I forgot my slip.
And I said,
Oh,
Gosh,
I,
That's so funny because I happened to bring an extra slip and you can borrow it if you want,
You know.
So she,
In her mind,
She was getting ready to go.
It's just so fascinating what happens to our mind and how we travel back in time.
I mean,
It's just like dreaming.
We don't know how we dream things.
But so anytime she would say,
You know,
I need some money or I need my clothes.
I'd be like,
Oh,
You know,
It's so funny.
I happen to have an extra check here.
So it was like just how to dance with this,
This dream she was in so that,
You know,
She could come back to place of peace again.
And then also knowing like,
She's getting ready to leave and just the enormousness of what that means.
Also she saw an angel.
She said,
I was laying with her one night and she's,
This was after that first initial eight hour visit from all of her.
I imagine it must have been my,
All the relatives were there and they pierced through the veil and then they come in and,
And it's,
It's wild.
I mean,
It's like,
You think death is just going to be this kind of serene,
You know,
Like somber,
Serene,
But there's like so much going on.
Like,
So she's,
She's pointing up at something and she's gasping.
Like it's like,
Oh,
Look at that.
And I said,
What is it?
And she said,
It's an angel.
And I said,
Really,
What does she look like?
And she said,
Oh,
She's so beautiful.
You know,
And I'm looking at that,
I'm looking at the wall.
I'm like,
I don't see an angel,
But can I feel the angel?
Yes,
I can.
I can feel the angel.
You know,
She's just drenching in so much love that the love is just bursting through space.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Bite-sized Blessings.
I need to thank my charming and intrepid guest,
Mary Suzanne Garvey,
For agreeing to appear on the show and for telling all of her mystical experiences and her family stories.
I need to thank the creators of the music used for this episode,
Joel Lupez,
Frank Schroeder,
Fat Sounds,
Music Elle Files,
And Sasha End.
For complete attribution,
Please see the Bite-sized Blessings website at bitesizedblessings.
Com.
On the website,
You'll find links to books,
Music,
Change makers,
And playlists I think will lift and inspire you.
Thank you for listening,
And here's my one request.
Be like Mary Suzanne.
Be there for those you love.
Be there for them in whatever situation they find themselves.
Be of service.
Hold them.
Love them.
Be present.
Help them in any way you can.
And just that,
Right there,
That's going to be what changes this world.
