Much of the work we do with our kids starts with the internal work of knowing ourselves.
Let's take a moment now to reflect on and release any expectations we hold for our kids and to clarify and invite new intentions.
Stay in a comfortable position where you feel supported and relaxed.
Let your eyes close now.
Let's calm our bodies and connect with our breath,
The source of all nourishment and life.
Slowly now,
Breathe in through your nose,
Feeling the air rush into your lungs,
Circulating through your body,
Replenishing every cell.
And let it go,
Blowing the air out through your mouth,
Release.
And again,
Pull the air in through your nose,
The air that holds all you need for life at this exact moment.
The air that nourishes your body,
Allow it to come in and blow out through your mouth,
Release.
In and out.
In and out.
Now bring to mind the child or children in your life.
Reflect now on your biggest desires for them.
What skills,
Qualities,
Mindsets do you hope that they have?
Without judgment,
Just notice what comes up.
Take a moment now and really feel it.
Feel your deep wish for your child.
See it.
See the skill or the abilities that they have,
The people they are and the people they become.
Breathe in and out.
Now reflect for a moment on what brought you to the practice of teaching your child the skills of mindfulness,
Self-awareness,
Calm and resilience.
What drew you in?
Excited you?
Interested you?
What did you hope to gain?
How did you see yourself,
Your child and your family changing?
What outcome were you looking to achieve?
Breathe in and out.
Sink deeper into your awareness now,
Noticing what expectations have come up and take a moment to let your mind reflect.
From where did this desire arise?
When did they start to seep into your consciousness?
How long have they been brewing and growing and pulling at you?
Breathe in and out.
Now take a moment to imagine if these expectations you hold,
These outcomes didn't come to fruition.
If your child didn't make the outward changes you seek,
If your family didn't change in the way that you had hoped,
How would you feel?
What would you tell yourself about your role,
What part you played,
How successful you were,
What emotions and stories would come up?
Perhaps grief,
Anger,
Disappointment?
How does it feel to think about that now?
Breathe in and out.
Connecting back with your breath now,
Can you give yourself a moment to grieve?
Breathe in and out.
Can you take a moment now and see if you can begin the process of shifting from the expectations you hold and the outcomes you wish to see and begin setting a new intention?
Can you begin to open an intention of sharing,
Regardless of what outcome may arise?
Let yourself reflect.
What intentions can you set now to replace the expectations for how your child would change?
What can you offer your kids now?
Can you share with them through this process?
How can you create a deeper connection?
Instead of thinking about how they can change,
Can you reflect on how you can change?
Can you change the environment and the stimuli they are exposed to?
How can you set up an environment where they are most likely to succeed?
Think of an intention now.
Breathe in now and welcome that intention into your whole being.
Allow it to fulfill you completely,
Seeping into every cell of your body.
And breathe out the expectations and the outcomes,
The preset definitions of success that you held.
Breathe in,
Inviting a new intention of presence and allowing opportunity.
Breathe out,
Releasing the expectations,
The picture of the outcome you held.
In and out.
Inviting and releasing.
Some of our greatest moments of suffering are in response to our missed expectations.
When we deeply attach ourselves,
Our successes,
And our worth to a particular outcome with no control over if it is met.
If we can shift our thinking away from reaching an outcome and into a place of inviting possibility,
We welcome ourselves and our children into an environment of authenticity and openness.
The perfect environment for seeds of change to grow.
Now finishing the practice,
Begin to wake up your body by wiggling your toes and your fingers,
Coming back into the room and back into your body.
And when you are ready,
Slowly begin to open your eyes.
Bringing conscious awareness to the expected outcomes we intentionally and unintentionally place on our kids is the first step to releasing them.
As we bring awareness and acceptance,
Notice and release,
We are able to better turn towards intentions and allow our kids the opportunities to grow.
