Never Make Another Resolution Again – Do This Instead

Question: how many times have you made resolutions? Probably every year, right? How many times have you broken those resolutions? Probably every year, right? That’s because your brain doesn’t take resolutions seriously. In this episode, I walk you through a much better way to get the lasting change you are clearly looking for. This episode will help you get to a life of clarity, focus, and meaning with the lifestyle changes you know you are capable of.

Transcript

You're listening to the Presidential Experience Podcast,

The place where we chronicle man's search for meaning over money.

I'm your host,

Kanae Corder,

National Certified Counselor and clinical hypnotherapist specializing in financial therapy for high achievers.

As a former Morgan Stanley financial advisor,

I realized that high achievers need to help with more than just the numbers,

And I bring a unique set of skills to my private practice as I guide CEOs and high achievers on how to manage their stress so they can enjoy their success.

I want to bring some of that to you here,

So each week we'll start a discussion addressing one of the top stressors for high achievers.

You've built a stellar resume.

Now it's time for you to build a stellar life.

Your hard work brought you money.

Now it's time to turn that money into meaning here on the Presidential Experience Podcast.

What's the meaning of life,

Kanae?

That's a question many of my patients ask me in my private practice.

Are you asking that question?

One search for meaning over money can be stressful.

Would you like some guidance?

Would you like to reduce the stress associated with searching for the meaning of life?

Here's what you can do.

Start by taking our Meaning of Life quiz.

Go to presidentiallifestyle.

Com slash meaning dash quiz.

It'll give you insight into how far or close you are to finding the meaning of life.

Let me ask you a question.

Have you ever asked someone for directions?

Of course you have.

We all have.

But what is the first thing they need to know when you ask them,

How do I get here?

They ask you,

Well,

Where are you coming from?

So the first step in finding the meaning of life is determining where you are in life right now.

Are you a chief?

Are you a mayor?

Maybe you're a governor.

Or maybe you're a president and you just haven't figured that out yet.

Get the steps to finding the meaning of life.

And you know what?

You may not be that far away,

But you don't know if you don't take the quiz.

So go to presidentiallifestyle.

Com slash meaning dash quiz.

That's presidentiallifestyle.

Com slash meaning dash quiz.

At the end,

Give us your email address and we'll give you a special audio training that will help guide you to finding the meaning of life and turning your money into meaning.

So go to presidentiallifestyle.

Com slash meaning dash quiz.

Take the quiz.

It'll only take you about five minutes.

It's totally free.

Give us your email address and we'll give you that special audio training that will guide you through turning your money into meaning and finding the meaning of life.

You can go now or you can go later.

The link is in the show notes.

Either way,

I'll see you there.

Welcome to the all new presidential experience.

I love saying that.

Welcome to the all new presidential experience.

You're here.

You journeyed with us.

You made the transition.

You are going into a new year and a new decade with us.

So it doesn't have to be lonely at the top.

You can take people with you and I'm taking you with me and I encourage you to invite some friends and invite them first to listen to this podcast and then invite them into the deeper presidential experience with you.

Now this podcast has evolved in the month of January.

We're going to be talking all about how to evolve.

We're going to talk about how to evolve from making resolutions.

We're going to talk about how to evolve in your career.

We're going to talk about how to evolve into your greatness.

We're also going to talk about how to evolve into having the business that you want.

Going from that startup mentality to the exit mentality because a lot of us are still stuck in startup and we're not startups anymore.

Ooh,

That's such a good topic.

We're going to talk about that.

I can't wait to dive into that.

And then we're going to talk about how to rebrand,

How to rebrand yourself because maybe you've gotten stuck into a lifestyle that just isn't right for you.

It just isn't enough for you.

So we're going to talk about how to rebrand.

So this next year,

This year is going to be incredible.

It's going to be incredible for the podcast listeners.

It's going to be the ultimate experience for the Presidential Experience private members.

So if you're not already a member of the Presidential Experience private club,

It's important that you get your membership because you're going to get a lot here on the podcast,

But you're going to go much deeper.

You're going to get your questions answered in the Experience private club.

And some of you are going to have the VIP experience where you're going to get to talk to me privately and others will have the elite experience where you get to talk to me every single week.

How awesome is that?

I'm so looking forward to talking to you guys every week.

Yeah,

Because I've been having some incredible experiences just talking with men.

But before we go deeper into that,

I want to tell you about what's happened.

Now we're going to do an episode on,

I think it's January 29th,

About the evolution of presidential lifestyle and how we've evolved in the last couple months.

And we've defined our target market even tighter.

We defined our core values.

Yeah,

We got really deep into what our core values were and where we weren't willing to compromise.

And then we defined our core message.

That became even tighter.

That turned money into meaning.

That right there was it.

I was so excited when we got to that message.

And then defining how to monetize.

We had a certain pricing structure that we had to change and I needed to scale.

So one-on-one coaching needed to be one thing.

Different coaching needed to be another thing.

I still wanted to see people who couldn't necessarily invest as much as the program costs,

But I still wanted a way to see them.

So we had to do a lot of changing around that and some rebranding and evolving.

We evolved from kenaequarter.

Com to presidentiallifestyle.

Com.

So if you've been hanging out with us over at kenaequarter.

Com,

We've moved to presidentiallifestyle.

Com.

Everything is there.

The blog,

The podcast,

The videos.

So we will see you there every single week.

We've spending more time on LinkedIn.

We've kind of shifted what we do on Instagram.

And yeah,

We're just enjoying this evolution because you've got to enjoy this process.

And part of the reason why we don't enjoy the process a lot of times is one,

Because we don't track the progress.

And two,

Because we've set the bar too far in the future.

And so because it's so far in the future,

We can't even see it.

And you know how I say at the end of this podcast,

If you see it,

If you believe it,

Then you'll soon see it.

And so sometimes it's very hard to believe it if you set it too far out.

So in episodes 68 and 69,

Episodes 68 and 69,

We talked about setting targets.

I'll put the links to those shows in the show notes.

So if you haven't listened to those episodes,

I want you to go back and listen to them because they're going to go into what we're about to talk about today.

But right before I tell you that,

I want to tell you about the flow,

What's about to happen.

So in the month of January,

We have an incredible lineup.

And we're going to talk all about evolving.

And I'm going to share with you next our flagship program,

Which is Control the Controllable.

And in the presidential experience,

When you go through group or one-on-one experience with me,

Conversations with me,

I'll be walking you through the Control the Controllable program.

But I'm going to talk about it here so that the listeners can at least have some ideas,

Some insight as to what things you need to be focusing on,

Even if you're not ready to jump into the program with me just yet.

You at least should know what you should be paying attention to.

Would you agree?

And I want to just say an incredibly big thank you to all the men who supported me,

All the men who took the time out to let me pull information out of them so I knew exactly what you guys needed,

All the men who have already gone through the program and graduated,

All the men who have referred their friends or family members or their sons.

That just warms my heart.

It gives me chills when I think about it.

To the program,

Yeah.

So thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you.

Incredibly grateful.

I am moved to tears when I think about the statement,

Anything for Kanae,

That's a statement that I heard so much over the last few months.

And I was like,

Really?

I didn't know that.

So clearly I wasn't asking for help enough,

And I'm definitely changing that.

But too,

I guess I just really didn't know the impact that I had already made.

And I'm just incredibly grateful to just get a glimpse of that,

That the reputation that I have been working so hard on is intact.

And it was exactly how I wanted to show up in the world,

Because I didn't want people to say anything for Kanae,

Because that's how I feel about you guys.

It's like anything for you.

Ask me anything,

And I want to do it.

I want to say yes.

Yes is easy for me.

When I have to say no,

It hurts.

But I do have to say no sometimes.

But it hurts when I do.

So let's get into today's show.

You with me?

Today we are going to dig deep,

Man.

We're going to stop these resolutions.

I want to make sure today you never make another resolution again.

Instead,

You're going to do this.

You are going to evolve,

Because you can't resolve to being a different person or a quote unquote better person.

You've got to evolve into it.

You don't just wave your magic wand and boom,

Done.

Now you stop smoking.

Now you're in love with your spouse again.

Now you're nice to your kids again.

No,

No,

No,

No,

No.

You don't just wave a magic wand and all of a sudden your weight is gone.

You don't wave a magic wand and all of a sudden you're off that medication.

No,

It doesn't work like that.

You evolve into being that person that no longer has to take that medication.

You evolve into the person that can actually see their feet.

You evolve into that person that is healthy enough to play with their grandkids.

So how do you do that?

So today I want to,

I want to walk you through why we make resolutions in the first place.

Why we don't keep them and why we need to evolve rather than resolve.

All right,

So let's get into it.

So why do we make resolutions?

We typically make resolutions because deep down inside,

We want to change.

We want to do something different than what we have been doing,

But we just don't know how.

So we make resolutions saying,

I'm going to lose weight.

I'm going to stop smoking.

I'm going to work out more.

I'm going to eat better.

I'm going to be nicer to my spouse.

I'm going to be patient with my children.

I am going to be a better leader.

All of these things.

Have you said any of these things?

Oh,

I forgot the money one.

I'm going to be a better steward of my money.

Maybe you've been giving,

Giving,

Giving to everybody who asks and you don't know how to say no.

And like I said,

I know,

Yes,

It's easy and you want to say it,

But sometimes no is necessary.

So you want the change deep down inside,

You know that something is missing and this habit or this lifestyle that you've created is just not enough and you've got to make a shift.

You're uncomfortable.

So you're feeling this discomfort and because of this discomfort,

You want to make a resolution.

You want to say,

Okay,

I'm going to stop.

But you know that that's not true.

And why isn't that true?

Because your brain goes towards,

Homeostasis is what it's called.

Your brain goes towards familiarity.

It wants to return back to what is familiar to your brain.

Familiar is good.

Unfamiliar is bad.

So it's always going to go towards familiar.

So if eating that,

That meal,

That unhealthy meal is familiar,

That's where your brain's going to go.

If smoking is,

That's where your brain's going to go.

If yelling at your spouse,

That's where your brain's going to go.

That is where your brain's going to go because it's familiar.

It's easy to do what's familiar.

And so the resolution comes when you've done that thing over and over and over again and you feel so icky afterwards,

You know,

Like remorse or just like,

Oh,

Why am I still doing this?

And I'm like,

I'm dealing with someone who used to smoke and he was like,

He felt like a piece of crap when he smoked.

He's like,

I'm just like,

People are looking at me thinking this is a guy who doesn't care about himself because he smokes and he's totally not that guy.

So he knew that it was outside of integrity.

There was some incongruencies in who he was and how he was showing up in the world.

So he wanted to change that.

And so we helped him evolve into the kind of person who does take care of his health.

And so that's what you're doing.

The first thing that you're going to do is you are going to make a statement about how you want to show up in the world.

All right.

That's the first thing you're going to do.

And all you have to do is look at that discomfort.

Where are you uncomfortable in your life?

There are the places where you want to make resolutions,

But don't you dare because you are going to evolve.

And I'm going to tell you in just a second how to do that.

So why don't we keep them?

Why if we're making resolutions every single year,

Then by the third week of the year,

Maybe even the third day of the year,

We've already gone back to who we were.

We already clicked back into that homeostasis.

Why don't we keep them?

So I just already told you the homeostasis,

The brain wants to go back to familiar,

But also the pain is not enough.

You haven't had enough pain.

The brain learns two ways,

Catastrophic event or time and repetition.

So if the pain gets so unbearable,

That would be the equivalent of a catastrophic event.

You have a heart attack and that's how you get off the medication or stop smoking.

I definitely had a patient that that happened with.

There's a story where I worked with a man who wasn't eating healthy.

He wasn't meditating.

He had no stress management routine.

He had no nutrition regimen.

He had no physical activity.

He was just work,

Work,

Work,

Work,

Work,

Work,

Work,

Work,

Work all the time.

Work,

Work,

Work,

Work,

Work,

Barely eating,

Barely sleeping,

None of that.

And his doctor told him that he didn't know if he would be alive in a year if he kept up this lifestyle.

And at that time,

He was planning his daughter's wedding and his daughter's wedding was less than a year away.

It was about nine or ten months away and he had been saving up for this daughter's wedding for years and to think that he wouldn't even be there to see it,

This just broke his heart.

And so he had to make a shift just like that catastrophic event.

The doctor says,

You won't be here for your daughter's wedding if you keep this up.

And so immediately he got into my program and he dedicated a year of his life to changing.

And it had to do a year because he didn't get that lifestyle in just six weeks or,

You know,

There are plenty of like week-long courses and 30-day courses and six-week courses and stuff like that and programs and videos or whatever.

No,

He didn't get that overnight.

And so it's going to take more than a day or a week or a month to get him to change his brain.

And so he dedicated a year and we went through the whole program.

We went through Control the Controllable.

We went through adding more power,

Peace and pleasure in his life.

We went through his wealth,

His wellness,

His wow,

We found meaning,

Oh,

We changed so much.

But the bottom line was it started with him realizing he wanted to be here for his daughter's wedding.

And so that pain of knowing that he might,

Some other man might walk his daughter down aisle and some other man might end up married to his wife.

Just knowing that he was like,

Oh,

Heck no,

I can't do,

I can't let that happen.

So maybe the pain hasn't been enough for you to make that shift.

Or maybe the pleasure is not enough.

So there's three reasons why we don't keep our resolutions.

Homeostasis,

The brain is just doing the familiar.

The pain is not enough or the pleasure,

The reward is not enough.

So you've got to go for that reward.

Make that reward big,

Worth it.

Make it something that's just going to warm your heart.

So what happens if you get off this medication?

What happens if you stop smoking?

What happens if you lose this weight?

What happens if you're nicer to your spouse?

Can you imagine falling back in love with that person that you fell in love with those years ago?

Seeing her just so sweet.

Can you imagine her falling back in love with you?

Yeah.

That guy that slipped her off her feet.

Can you imagine your children looking up and saying,

Wow,

Just being so proud and admiring you just because you're staying present with them.

Cause let me tell you,

Kids are not that impressed with our titles.

They're more impressed with what's not on our resumes.

Yeah.

That's what children are impressed with.

So if you want your children,

Your grandchildren to brag about you,

They're going to brag about that tree house you built.

They're going to brag about that game you went to or took them to.

They're going to brag about the time you spent talking to them and telling them the stories.

They're not going to brag about that much time you spent at work.

And if you never thought about this,

I am so glad we had this conversation because that is not what kids,

Whether they're a five year old or a 50 year old,

No kids talking about how hard their dad worked,

Where their mom worked.

They're just not.

So forget about it.

If you really want your kids to look at you with admiration,

Then you're going to have to shift.

They are your why.

Now remember I talk about your wow factor,

Right?

So wow stands for why power over willpower.

Why power will fuel you when willpower fails you.

Why power will fuel you when willpower fails you.

You've heard me say that before,

I'm sure.

So what is your why?

So this is how you're going to keep your resolution.

You're going to find the most powerful why you can.

And you're going to use it.

And I've told stories before about my patient whose daughter wanted to go to Auburn University and she did everything.

We would always take it back to that.

Like is this going to get you to the goal of sending that beautiful daughter to that college that she wants to go to?

Maybe you've heard me tell the story about the wife who wanted to fall back in love with her husband.

And she didn't want to leave and they had been married for 20 years.

And so he said he wanted that.

I love my wife.

I don't want her to leave.

I don't know what life is without her.

They've been together since high school.

He couldn't live without her.

So his why was making his marriage work no matter freaking what.

Do you think that man was in my office every single week?

Yes,

He was.

And he made the shift.

He made the change.

He controlled the controllables.

And I got a phone call one day and she was blown away.

Just so happy that her marriage had changed.

And not only did she fall back in love with him,

She fell in love with him in a whole new way because she had never even seen this man that was now standing before her.

Yeah.

This is why you need to evolve rather than resolve.

Stop giving up.

So how do you do that?

I'm going to tell you.

Number one,

You're going to find your why.

Because resolutions are temporary.

Evolutions are lasting.

And that's what we're going to make today.

So what are your evolutions?

Where do you want to evolve in your life?

Where are you not showing up?

Remember you asked that question first.

How do I want to show up in the world?

So where are you not in integrity?

Where are the incongruencies in your life?

Identify them.

Now what lasting changes do you need to make in order to get off of that medication?

Maybe you need to get more sleep.

Maybe you need to eat the right foods for you,

Not for anybody else.

The right foods for you.

Maybe you need to get some physical activity in.

And that does not necessarily mean an hour in the gym.

It may mean a 30-minute walk with your spouse or your child or your dog.

That's what I'm talking about.

So in episode 68 and 69,

We talked about setting targets.

And I said,

Set your wow targets first.

So who do you want to spend time with?

These are the people,

The interests,

The activities.

I call them adventures.

The things even.

Maybe that brand new car,

That new Tesla,

That whatever fancy thing you got on your brain,

Maybe that's incentive enough.

And you say,

Well,

If I do this,

If I stop smoking,

If I eat what's right for me for 12 weeks,

Then I'll go ahead and get this thing for me.

Give yourself a reward big enough that you won't.

And it outweighs the pain.

Because if the pain is,

The pleasure has to completely outweigh the pain.

So the pleasure has to be like Tylenol for you.

It can't be like,

Oh,

I'll just take it.

I'll just grin and bear it.

It's got to be big.

Now you're probably going to want to know why.

I mean,

I'm sorry.

You're probably going to want to know how.

Yeah,

That's one of the biggest questions I get.

And a lot of times,

Where do I send people back to?

To the what.

Get really clear on the what.

Now I've brought it up a couple of times,

How you want to show up in the world.

Where are the inconsistencies in your life?

Where are you not in integrity?

Where are you incongruent?

Look at that.

That's your what.

And then your how.

You already know the how.

Most of us know what to do,

Right?

They're like,

We're like,

Eat right,

Exercise,

Get some sleep,

You know,

Meditate,

You know all of that,

Right?

But you're like,

Well,

How do I work that into my life?

Usually,

You can't do it by yourself.

It's just impossible.

Most people have a personal trainer,

A therapist,

A coach,

Even the doctor,

Right?

Their children,

Children make the most,

The best accountability partners.

Get your children on board or get into the presidential experience.

We can be your accountability partners.

I can be your accountability partner.

You have me,

You have my team,

And you have the tribe walking you through each step,

How to get there,

How.

You're not alone.

So you've got your why power.

You've got your what.

You're going to get your how together when you join the presidential experience.

Each and every step you take is important.

And the reason why your resolutions have been temporary is because you haven't been tracking your progress.

So check,

Track your progress.

We call it target tracker.

And target tracker is something that we do in a presidential experience where I really help you ask yourself a few questions.

And here are the questions and I'll just tell you,

But I want you to jump in so you can get reminded of this often,

But what's going well?

What is going well?

What's not working?

What challenges do you foresee in getting to this target or hitting this target?

You got to see the challenges.

This is a super important step.

And here's the second part to that.

What support do you need?

Here we go.

Next question.

Who can you ask for that support?

Now many of you don't have anybody you can ask because you're the most successful person around you or the smartest person around you,

Or maybe you're the most consistent person.

Even in your flaws,

You're still the most consistent person you know.

And even though you've been dropping the ball on this particular thing in other areas of your life,

You've got it down.

And so you're like,

Who's going to help me with this?

You try because you're not alone.

It doesn't have to be lonely at the top.

You can take people with you.

I told you this already,

Taking you with me.

So whether you're here in the podcast or in the deeper dive presidential experience,

The VIP or the elite level,

You're not alone.

And you can bring some friends.

So this episode is all about evolving and this whole month is going to be about evolving.

But let us first start with you setting a target in your life,

In your wow factor.

What adventure,

What love,

What,

What people do you want to spend more time with?

Because don't you want to be at your daughter's wedding?

Don't you want to play with your grandchildren?

Don't you want to see the smiles on the faces of the people you love?

Don't you want to drive that new car?

Well,

You got to take action.

We're going to talk all about how to bring more power,

Peace and pleasure in your life over the next few weeks and months.

So start with setting your target.

I'm going to put all of this in the show notes so that you can have a step by step guide on evolving.

No more resolutions.

Never make another resolution again from now on evolve in every area of your life,

Whether it's mental,

Physical,

Spiritual,

Emotional,

Whether it's in your marriage,

Whether it's your wealth goals,

Evolve,

Whether it's your relationship with your children,

You can still correct it.

If you haven't been there for them,

You can be there now and it'll take time.

Remember you're not waving a magic wand.

You're doing the work one day at a time and you're not alone,

But you're going to evolve if you do not stop.

Resolutions are temporary.

Evolutions are lasting.

So it's time.

It's time to turn your money into meaning.

It's time to find the meaning of your life.

It's time to get out of that existential crisis you've been going through.

It's time to evolve right here,

Right now.

Now if you are part of the presidential experience,

Then we're about to go deep.

I'm going to answer your questions.

We're going to do a deep dive into how to set evolutions,

New targets,

How to evolve.

So guys,

This is where we leave you.

If you're in the experience,

Then stay on because this is about to get really good and I can't wait to answer all your questions.

Ask me anything about how to evolve.

I'm ready.

Are you?

All right,

Let's go in.

Podcast listeners,

Thank you for being here and I will see you next week.

Hey guys,

Thanks for listening.

Want to reduce your stress even more?

Here are four ways you can do it.

One,

Send us your questions.

Discuss anything about money,

Marriage,

Or maturing.

You can send it to podcast at presidential lifestyle.

Com.

Number two,

Subscribe to this podcast.

You wouldn't want to miss an episode.

That would be stressful.

And number three,

Get our prosperity report recap.

It's a free resource where we share top tools and resources.

Just go to presidential lifestyle.

Com slash blog slash prosperity report.

Don't worry.

It's in the show notes.

You won't have to remember that.

And four,

If you really want to connect with us in a deep and powerful way,

Join our private club.

Go to join presidential experience.

Com to find out when our doors open again.

We want you to be there so you can turn your money into meaning.

And if you're enjoying this podcast,

Go ahead and leave us a rating and a comment and we'll be sure to thank you.

And now for the legalese.

Remember this podcast is not to replace professional counsel.

The best advice comes from a professional.

You know,

The topics discussed in this podcast are general in nature and are for informational and entertainment purposes only.

We encourage you to meet with a professional that you can discuss your specific situation with whether therapeutic or otherwise.

That's all for now.

I'll see you next episode.

And remember,

You can have wealth in all of its forms,

Believe it and you will soon see you next time.

Reviews

Very motivating, thank you and Namaste

Well done with excellent insight as always, thank you!! 🙏🏻😊