Three Qualities Of Mindful Attention

Mindfulness is a quality attention. That means you can be doing anything, and your attention can be mindful or mindless. When you shift to being mindful, your attention becomes: Present, Curious, and Kind. Let's break down each of these components.

Transcript

The definition that I work with when we're talking about mindfulness is that mindfulness is a quality of attention.

That means that anything you're doing,

You can do with a quality of attention that is mindful.

You can do things in a mindful way.

You can be doing something in a mindless way and then all of a sudden,

Remember,

Shift your attention and then become more present and curious and kind as you are doing the thing you are doing,

Whatever that is.

So mindfulness is a quality of attention.

What is the quality of attention that you are bringing to the moment?

It doesn't mean you have to be happy or cheerful.

We can bring a mindful quality of attention to the moment even when we feel angry or even when we feel sad or we feel frustrated.

Mindfulness has three components to it.

When we talk about what does it mean to have this mindful quality of attention,

Your attention is in the present moment,

It is curious,

And it is kind.

And let me walk you through what I mean by each of those.

So if your attention is in the present moment,

That means that you're not kind of running ahead into the future.

You're not wondering,

Oh,

What's gonna happen?

Will it go well?

Oh,

What are they gonna say?

We're not running into the future with our mind.

We're also not running into the back room.

We're not replaying the movie of what happened.

I wonder why they said that.

I wonder what they meant by that.

I wonder if only I had,

If I had done this differently in the past and things would be different now.

We're not rewinding and watching the tape and wondering about it.

So attention is in the present moment.

This is part of how we practice acceptance.

Like,

Can I accept,

Oh,

Right in this moment,

It is a cloudy day.

Or,

Oh,

In this moment,

Oh,

I don't feel very well.

In this present moment,

Oh,

My foot feels a little bit,

Oh,

A little bit like achy.

Can we notice whatever is arising in this present moment?

That's the first part,

Attention,

Present.

Then,

With curiosity.

And it's this quality of curiosity that you were born with.

And if you've ever spent time with a small child and you've seen them just interested in exploring the world,

You are like that too.

When you were born,

You did not know how to judge yourself.

You didn't know how to critique yourself.

You didn't know how to compare yourself to anybody else.

When you were born,

You didn't know how to be worried about next week or next year.

When you were born,

You weren't ruminating about the past.

Like,

Your attention was just fully present in the moment and open with this beautiful,

Expansive curiosity.

You were just interested in understanding things and engaging with things.

You were interested in experiencing the world around you and the people around you.

Everything was just interesting because you're like,

What is this?

I don't know,

Let's look at that.

So that's that quality of curiosity.

It's like being comfortable with not knowing.

It's not like,

Oh,

I don't know what this is.

That is not a problem.

That's actually great.

You're like,

Oh,

Okay,

Let's see.

We kind of let go of needing to predict and anticipate what will happen.

And so when we think about mindfulness this way,

It's not something new that you're trying to create.

It's actually something that you already understand deeply in your bones as a person.

And you're now learning how to reconnect with and bring it forward and amplify it.

Because as an adult,

As we grow and experience the world,

We learn all kinds of new skills.

We learn language as a skill.

Sometimes we learn multiple languages as a skill.

We also learn how to exercise good judgment.

We learn how to make decisions.

We learn how to imagine the results of that choice or imagine the consequence of that behavior.

Like we learn how to project what might happen.

We also learn how to reflect on the past and hopefully learn from it.

And so none of these are bad.

They're all really important skills and things that we learn into our adulthood.

And then with mindfulness,

It's kind of like remembering that being judgmental and planning,

Those are optional tools that we use intentionally,

But we don't have to live with them active all the time.

We're remembering the value of accessing that part within you that knows already,

That is inherently capable of simply being present in this moment with this wide open curiosity of interest without kind of grasping or trying to make things go a certain way.

Just,

Huh,

That's interesting.

And the last piece of this,

Right?

Presence,

Curiosity,

And kindness.

Kindness is what keeps the curiosity sort of warm and friendly.

So it's not invasive.

It's not an interrogation.

You're not trying to wrestle an answer,

You know,

Out of that curiosity.

It's not an accusation.

It's not that kind of pushy,

Poking kind of curiosity.

It's that curiosity,

It's warm and friendly.

And as you rest your gaze,

Place your attention on people,

On the world,

On yourself,

It's that soft gaze that is infused with kindness.

Even when there is tension,

Sometimes,

You know,

In my own life,

There's that feeling of,

Oh,

You know,

I procrastinated or I delayed on this thing and now I've kind of made my schedule sort of complicated and,

Oh,

Why did I do that to myself?

Sometimes we can have that inner dialogue.

And when it gets a little harsh,

It might sound a little bit more mean.

Like,

Why don't you get yourself together?

Why is this hard for you?

You should be able to do this.

Mindfulness reminds us,

Can I cast my gaze with a quality of kindness?

And that shifts that conversation because I'm no longer regarding,

I'm no longer placing a quality of attention that has a sharp judgment upon it.

Instead,

I'm letting my gaze fall with a quality of softness and kindness that's more like,

Yeah,

So yeah,

You did that.

Yeah,

You did that to you today.

You know,

Your schedule got a little out of sync and it happens,

But I still love you and I still think you're great.

And we get a new opportunity to schedule or to make decisions.

We get to,

You know,

Reset and try a new,

In this new moment.

And so this quality of kindness infuses our attention with friendliness,

With that sense of self-compassion,

Like the self-compassion of,

I would like for you to be free of suffering,

Even the suffering that you impose upon yourself.

Let's not amplify that by being hard.

Let's just say,

Yeah,

Like this is something that happened.

Let's find another way,

Perhaps next time,

You know?

So mindfulness is a quality of attention.

It's having your attention in the present moment with curiosity and kindness.

And it's almost,

I mean,

Honestly,

It's a little bit magical.

When you make that shift,

You can be doing whatever you're doing.

You can be in a meeting.

You can be talking to,

You know,

Whoever is close to you.

You can be going to the grocery store,

Just walking down the street,

Going to the grocery store.

And all of a sudden,

Your attention shifts into that mindful quality,

That mindful state.

And it's like you always have it,

But we can be intentional about bringing it forward.

And when we bring it forward,

It changes how we experience the moment and it changes how other people experience us.

Reviews

Great description and run through. Made for a really nice morning preparing for the day ...thanks