Saying YES To Life

This is a 30-minute podcast about saying yes to life and letting go of excess. Excess can show up in our lives in many ways: having tons of stuff, needing more information, wanting more and more and more. This podcast tells about my experience with the teaching "the lighter the load the easier the climb".

Transcript

Oh,

What a world we live in,

Y'all.

It's a crazy world out there.

I just want to start this podcast and just say that I hope that this podcast finds whoever is listening,

That they're just okay,

That you're okay.

I really hope that you're okay.

There is so much stuff going on.

And there are so many people being affected by what's going on,

And I just want this space to be a space of compassion and a health safe space.

Where you come here,

And you know you're going to get quality-ish content.

Sometimes my rambles,

I'm not sure,

But my hope is that I can just share the things that are helpful for me and that maybe,

Just maybe they're helpful for somebody else.

So thank you for being here.

I know what it takes to be here,

And I am beyond grateful.

Today we're going to talk about excess.

We're going to talk about excess,

And we're going to talk about excess information,

Excess stuff.

And we're mostly going to talk about it because I'm in the process of moving right now.

And let me just tell you,

Somehow,

And I know probably everyone listening to this understands,

Somehow when you live somewhere more than like,

I don't know,

A year,

You just collect stuff.

I was like thinking about it as I'm like going through the kitchen stuff,

And I'm like,

Oh,

People just kept bringing us stuff.

Like oh,

Do you need this?

Oh,

Do you need this?

Which is like so kind.

And it's like in the moment when you do need stuff,

You just say yes,

And then you would just have now all of this stuff.

And so I did this big drop yesterday at a donation place.

And one,

Something that COVID I think is probably positive for COVID is the donation places are being really picky about what they accept.

And maybe it's because they just don't have the people to work.

I'm not quite sure what exactly is going on,

But I had to go to three different places in order to donate.

And so I felt actually kind of okay about that,

Because I feel like a lot of times when I've donated,

It's just like,

Here's all my crap.

And then they were just like,

Okay,

Yeah,

Okay.

And this time,

It was not that way.

And I kind of appreciated that.

But mostly what sparked this podcast is that I was going through my books.

And this interesting thing has been happening to me where I just,

Anybody who listens to this podcast knows how much I love Buddhism.

I love Buddhist thought.

I love Buddhist philosophy.

I love Buddhist.

I love their take on training the mind.

I love like,

There's so much about Buddhism that I could rave about.

And it keeps getting stronger,

Which is like such a cool feeling.

I've never really besides music,

Probably music,

And then Buddhism,

Those are the two things that just perpetually get bigger and stronger in my life.

And it's just such a cool thing.

I'm so grateful for it.

And so I was going through my books.

And one,

I just have a ton of books.

And I feel like I'm always getting rid of books.

I'm always getting I'm always purging books.

But I just still have a ton of books.

So I was going through my books to get rid of some for this move.

And I just was like going through these books and I have this like huge aha moment around access.

And the aha moment has been kind of happening,

I would say probably over the last two years,

I remember it happening again,

Very strongly.

Oh,

Man,

It's probably been a year ago when I was reading something.

And when I was reading something,

I was like,

Oh,

I need to like,

Just find a few good books and really just study these books.

And I really I want to put this message out here in the world because I have been a person and I still am a person that I love to read.

I love to research.

And I want to hear everyone's opinion.

And so I have,

You know,

I have read so many different Buddhist scholars,

I have read so many different Buddhist monk,

You know,

Monks,

I have read people who write about Buddhist monks,

I have read,

You know,

Everything that Jack Kornfield has written everything,

You know,

That Tara Braga has written,

I have just,

I have gone on many deep rabbit hole of authors in mindfulness and meditation and Buddhism.

And there are a ton of them.

And there's like all these different sects of Buddhism.

And all of it,

You know,

There's just so much,

There's so much information.

And I have been kind of hungry for all that information for years and years and years.

And as I've gotten older,

And as I've realized,

Myself,

Maybe getting to know myself a little bit more,

Is often that can have me feel confused.

And I have like a very kind of stark example is so there's like,

One Buddhist scholar,

Sarah Lama doss,

And he's amazing.

I really love his books.

I love the way that he kind of interprets Buddhism.

But it's like very lax.

It's very chill.

It's very,

And I kind of like that.

I like that it doesn't have to be so strict.

And it doesn't have to be about the rules.

And it doesn't have to be right.

And he specifically says things that,

You know,

You put out into so whenever I was like holding for a long time,

I was holding a weekly meditation and kind of like book club group.

And I have now stepped away from that for a lot of reason,

But for a lot of reasons,

But one of the main reasons is that I just want to keep learning.

So I'm putting myself in a position where I can keep growing and learning.

And honestly,

It's been cool because it's the people that were coming to that group,

I have now heard,

Some of them are like forming their own groups.

And some of them are reaching out to different,

You know,

Different practitioners and different teachers.

And it's cool to watch people kind of grow and evolve in that way.

I will have a group again.

I'm not sure.

Maybe when I'm an old gray haired foxy lady.

I'm not sure.

Anyway,

So then I also read one of my favorite authors and probably the monk that I studied the most is a monk called Ajahn Chah.

And and he specifically writes to monks.

So that's a big preface,

Whereas Sir,

You know,

Sir Lama Das writes for like lay people.

And you know,

This other author that I really love,

Writes specifically for monks.

So there's like a stark difference in how they write like one is very,

You know,

Kind of rule based and not like strict rules,

But like this is how you develop the mind and this is how you would develop your heart and this is how you and and he honestly Ajahn Chah is who I follow most.

So and maybe that's because I like structure and that's helpful for me,

Whereas for some people it might be a complete turn off.

Um,

Anyway,

So in studying those two different teachers,

You can get very confused.

And you can get confused like this about a lot of things.

So it may not be Buddhism that you're into,

But you're into I don't know,

Health and wellness.

And then you realize some people are like,

Yeah,

Do intermittent fasting and other people are like,

Oh,

No,

Don't it affects this.

You know,

It's like,

It's kind of like that.

It's like there are so many different ways to approach Buddhism and so many different ways to approach these things that I love,

That I often have felt confused in in confusion.

We stop taking action often.

So when humans are confused,

We often have like a fight flight response.

And mine is definitely like flight.

Like I'm like,

I don't know,

So I'm just not gonna do it.

You know,

Like,

I just like,

Kind of like push it away.

I'm like,

Oh,

That's interesting information.

Okay.

And then,

You know,

Carry on with whatever I'm doing.

And so what I have found,

And what I really wanted to make this podcast about is not needing as much excess information not needing as much excess stuff.

And probably the quote that I love the most that encompasses this,

Maybe teaching is,

The less you carry,

The easier the climb,

The less you carry,

The easier the climb.

And something that I have been really practicing,

And I really practiced when I purged my books is I just got rid of everything.

And I kept a handful of books that I want to spend my life or this part of my life studying.

And it kind of like,

It kind of is this like idea of like,

When you can just focus.

Now this doesn't mean that this thing that you're studying is the only thing and is the only way I want to be very clear about that.

There will always be a bazillion options,

There will always be a ton of different reasons.

There will always be resources,

There will always be information on both sides of topics,

There will always be just more and more and more and more and more information.

We live in a culture specifically in the West,

Where like,

More and more and more and more,

We're just taught,

Collect,

Collect more and more and more and more.

And the more you know,

Then the,

You know,

The more prestigious you are or something,

The more you have the,

You know,

Just like the rank is like,

You're better if you have more and I completely disagree with that mentality.

I do think that you in some way have to read enough until you find something that really clicks for you,

Or something that really speaks to you.

And then my suggestion is once you find something that really speaks to you is to stop looking and to study that thing in depth.

And not just study it.

Here's,

Here's where I was hoping this conversation would go.

I never really know where these conversations go because I don't plan anything I'm saying.

But once you find something,

And you've studied it,

The key in my opinion to life is to then act on it.

So you know,

I have these books,

I have these chosen books that I love,

That I love,

Love,

Love.

And I did keep a few books that I have not read yet.

And you know,

Just curiosity and there are books from my schooling when I studied with Jack and Tara and I was like,

Okay,

Well,

We'll just see what these books are eventually.

But the handful of books that I really kept to study,

My goal is,

And this is like,

Honestly,

What I'm,

You know,

Constantly practicing is just to actually practice the information,

Not just read it,

Excuse me,

Not just intellectualize it.

But to actually put one foot in front of the other and do what these books talk about.

And the thing that I'm working on most right now,

Which if you have followed my podcast,

You know,

You probably have heard my struggles with.

I don't know,

I the most blatant way for me to say it is like lying.

And not like,

You know,

There's like subtle,

The cool thing about Buddhism.

And the cool thing about life is that there are subtleties to everything.

So like lying,

There's like,

You know,

Big,

Blatant,

Fat lies.

And I don't do that.

I don't do those.

You know,

I'm not telling people that I'm a millionaire,

I'm not telling people that I have a different name.

I'm not telling people like I'm not there's none of that.

But there are these like subtle,

Maybe exaggerations,

Or subtle withholding that I consider lies.

And in the second I do them,

I have a reaction,

I have a physical body reaction,

Which I think is the gift of practice.

Something that I have been reading more and more about in Buddhism,

Which I love,

Is about shame and how shame is actually a very useful tool to help us become more moral beings.

I think shame in a lot of ways is like seen as like a negative,

We need to get rid of shame.

And I actually think shame is just like an indicator.

It's kind of like,

You know,

If you were looking for someone and you finally saw the blinking light of like where they were located,

It's like,

Okay,

Like,

Shame,

Anywhere we feel shame is like just a place to look,

It's a place to be kind,

It's a place to investigate.

And anytime that I have like,

Right in even tempted to tell a white lie,

Or,

Or I do do one,

I do say one,

One slips out of my mouth.

It's like,

Oh,

I have this automatic physical reaction and even mental reaction where I'm like,

Oh,

You're a bad person,

You're never going to get over this.

Like,

Why don't you,

Why are you doing this?

That's not even important.

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

And so I've been playing with the subtleties of it.

And as I play,

You know,

One of the things that I've been doing is I will just like,

Say it,

Oh,

I,

I just lied.

You know,

Just like,

Pointed out,

Like,

There weren't,

There weren't 50 of those,

There were actually only 27,

You know,

Like,

Whatever it is.

The other thing that I've been trying to do is,

So for me,

Exaggeration has been a way for me to get attention.

I think it's also like acting,

You know,

I grew up acting.

So acting is always this performance.

And part of my habit of exaggerating is performative.

It's like,

I want attention.

And,

You know,

I grew up with loving parents,

Very,

Very loving parents.

But they were kind of absent.

They in,

And that's fine,

Rightfully so.

They owned a thriving business.

And I had three other siblings and,

You know,

Not the easiest of siblings.

And so there was a lot going on for them.

And also,

I do kind of believe this.

So if you are a person that feels like you didn't get what you needed from your parents,

I want to say this out loud for everyone,

Because I have had to learn this.

I don't think our parents can give us what we need.

I don't think that's their job.

I think their job is to do the best they can.

But they're humans,

And they still have to live their own life.

And we can't be the center of their world.

And maybe our job is just to grow up and to learn,

You know,

From those experiences and to take maybe the things that were hurtful from when we were children to really use it and to grow and develop our own hearts.

And so I've been really,

You know,

Working on that.

But this performative,

This like lying,

It's often performative.

Everyone wants,

It's just me wanting attention.

And and I also I want to say this,

There's nothing wrong about that.

You know,

I for so long have beat myself up.

Just like,

Thinking that like,

Something is wrong with me.

And honestly,

Like,

For anyone listening,

I don't care what your habits are.

I don't care if you're an alcoholic,

And you drink too much.

I don't care if you lie a lot.

I don't care if you I don't know,

Are addicted to sex,

Like whatever.

There's nothing wrong with you.

There's a reason that you're acting that out.

And if you can get to the reason you can begin working,

And if you can get to the point where you're kind to yourself,

I think that can go a long,

Long ways.

But we're all we all are messed up in our own ways.

So I just want to like,

Say that I am,

You know,

Hand raised.

I have my own things.

And I'm kind of grateful that I have a life to work on those things.

Anyway,

So this performative,

It's like,

Okay,

If I can catch myself,

And I can give myself the attention that I'm yearning for,

Then I don't have to lie.

Or if I can just speak it like,

I'm wanting attention right now.

You know,

It's like,

I don't have to lie.

And the thing is about lying.

Like once I said,

Once again,

I want to say there's like,

Nothing,

Quote unquote,

Wrong with it.

I'm not harming anybody or you know,

I'm not doing anything intentionally to like create harm.

But I do think that there's karma related to it.

So I want to keep more and more and more,

I just want to keep creating good karma for myself.

And these are for my beliefs.

You know,

Like,

I believe that everything we do has an effect.

So if I lie to somebody,

Even if it's a white lie,

Even if it's a tiny lie,

Guess what,

I have to keep up with that in my head.

Or I have to worry if they're gonna find out.

And it's just it's like a waste of energy to have to do that.

It's karma.

You're you're living with the karma of being like,

Oh,

Man,

I lied about that one thing.

And now I gotta this person thinks like,

Okay,

This is really silly.

One one time I lied about my age.

And I like did it just kind of like I just threw out an age,

You know,

I and it was just a year difference.

It was like I said,

I was a year older.

But then I ended up being friends with this person.

And then I had to come clean about my age.

And I was like,

Worried about it.

They're not gonna like me,

They're gonna not want to be my friend,

They're gonna be like,

Why do you lie about that?

That's weird.

And it's just like,

I want to like make these things more normalized,

Because like,

We all do this.

It's not just me.

The one thing that Buddhism has also taught me is that if I do something that there are a ton of other people that are doing it.

And that's kind of the beauty of Buddhism is that you're really just watching human nature.

You're not,

When you're watching yourself,

You're watching human nature,

You're not watching yourself,

There is no self to watch,

You're watching the human condition.

And there's something like so freaking relieving about that,

At least for me.

Anyway,

So I'm,

To get back to the point of the podcast,

Excess,

So you know,

I'm choosing these few books so that really I can begin acting.

And so the watching my lying is like,

I want to put these things into action,

I want to actually develop myself in these ways.

I don't want to just read about these things,

And then read about something else and then read about something else and never practice any of it.

I kind of feel like if we just intellectualize everything,

Then we're never actually doing anything.

And I want to say intellectualizing something is maybe the first step.

It maybe is the first step,

It has been the first step for me,

Like I,

I have soaked up so much information.

And it has taken me I mean,

It's taken me a long time to like,

Be like,

Okay,

I know all this stuff now.

It's time to practice it.

And it's cool,

Because when you practice it,

The second you choose to practice something,

You reap the benefit of it in that moment.

And that's like such a cool thing.

So like,

The moment you choose to practice being kind,

You reap the karma of that kindness,

The second you practice loving yourself,

You reap the karma of loving yourself the second you choose to practice compassion,

You reap the karma of that the second you choose to not lie,

You reap the karma of that.

The other thing about lying,

I'm sorry,

I'm all over the place,

But whatever,

Anybody who listens to this knows that this is normal.

The other thing about lying is that,

You know,

I often will like lie because I wish that life was like more exciting than it is.

I know this sounds so interesting,

Like I even saying it,

I'm like,

Huh,

It's almost like,

It's still in that performative vein.

It's like almost like when I lie,

I create like a bigger life or a bigger existence.

And something that I've been also practicing is like being okay with the mundane,

You know,

The mundane parts of life.

Like life is very mundane and there is beauty in that mundane,

But we got to search for it.

And when I'm lying or I'm exaggerating,

Often it's like I'm creating an alternate reality.

I'm not even really living in my life.

And I'm practicing some one of the biggest practices for me is just being okay with how life actually is.

Can I be okay with how life actually is?

It reminds me of another powerful question.

What's not going wrong?

What's going right?

There are like so many ways that we can view our life and the way that we view our life is so wildly important.

The way we view our life is what literally creates our life.

And so the more that I practice just being okay with how life actually is,

Like how much money I actually make,

What things I actually have,

What friendships I actually have,

Like it begins to change how you look at life.

When you want life as it is and you don't want a made up life or you don't want all the things you don't have,

But you want what you have,

Things just begin to change.

When you want what you have,

Things begin to change.

And I mean that in every moment.

So,

You know,

Life will deliver us things that are hard.

Every day life delivers things that are hard or challenging.

It could be an interaction with a person.

It could be driving in traffic.

It could be,

You know,

Whatever.

It could be losing someone.

It could be,

You know,

The gamut of life's challenges.

But when you just like surrender to life and you want life as it is.

Right here,

Like,

Okay,

This is what life has delivered me in this moment.

And I kind of want it because I just want to be alive.

I just want to be awake and alive.

And I think that's kind of the gift of practicing instead of thinking.

Like something that I've been really trying to do too is I love writing.

I love writing so much.

I write so much.

Like I'm constantly processing my life via writing.

But there is a thing where I can write too much and I stop living.

I'm just writing about living and I'm not living.

And that's something else I've been really trying to practice is like,

Okay,

You know.

So instead of reading the books,

How about I live the books?

Instead of writing about being healthy,

How about I be healthy?

Instead of writing about exercising and wanting to exercise,

How about I,

You know,

Get outside and take a walk?

And when you begin to do that,

You begin to live instead of thinking about living.

Instead of intellectualizing living,

You're living.

You're out there doing it.

And then in the moment you do it,

You reap the benefit of doing it.

The moment I get my walking shoes on and I take a walk,

I reap the benefit of that walk.

Instead of being like writing in my journal like,

Starting tomorrow,

I want to be healthier.

I'm not making fun of,

I have done that so many times.

So I'm not making fun of anyone who's doing that.

I do that.

But it doesn't do anything.

You can plan and plan and plan,

But how about you do and do and do?

There's a quote that I use,

You know,

With my clients actively a lot,

Which is just,

Action creates clarity.

It's not the other way around.

Like,

You can't think your way to clarity.

We think that we can.

We think if we think hard enough about it,

That we'll come up with the perfect plan.

And I want to say,

No,

Every action you take towards something,

Then the next thing shows up.

And then you work with that next thing.

And that's how we get clarity is through action,

Through one step after another step after another step.

Like,

I think about AA a lot.

Like,

You can't,

You can't think about not being an alcoholic.

You just have to like not drink and then you got to deal with what comes up when you don't drink.

Like,

That's how we work through stuff in life.

You can't,

You don't want to be in a relationship without practicing being in a relationship.

You can't think about,

Oh,

I'm going to like develop myself and become the perfect person for a relationship.

No,

No,

No.

Like,

Yes,

Develop yourself every single day.

And the way you practice being in relationship is by practicing being in relationship.

You know,

It's like via the practice,

By putting ourselves in the situation,

We actually practice it and we develop ourselves.

And that's how we become alive and live.

That's living.

You know,

The practice is living.

And that's why I got rid of all my books.

See,

I came back full circle.

And now I have less books.

So guess what?

The lighter they carry,

The easier the climb.

The less the less I carry,

The easier the climb.

And so here I am on my next adventure.

There might be a gap in podcasting because I am moving.

But I don't know,

I just podcast when I get a wild hair.

So here I am with a wild hair.

And when I get the next wild hair,

I will post again.

And honestly,

I just want to say thank you for anyone out there wanting to live.

I just want to suggest that you go live.

Stop thinking about the thing you want to do and just go do it.

And if it takes a lot of money or if it takes a lot of time,

Make a small step today.

Do a small step today.

So if you're wanting to backpack the Appalachian Trail and you have nothing,

I don't know.

Buy a headlamp.

Buy something you can afford.

Just small things.

Get yourself working toward it.

Go on a walk with a backpack full of books.

You know,

Do whatever you have to do.

Start training.

Say yes to life because this is it.

Whatever life delivers you today,

That's your life.

And even if it's hard stuff,

Can you say yes to it?

OK,

You guys rock and are amazing and I love you.

And until next time.

Reviews

Entertaining and thoughtful 🌟 Thank you for sharing. You rock, too 😁