Hello and welcome to my Insight Timer meditation page.
My name is Kimberly Johnson.
I am so excited and honored that you have come to sit with me today.
Today we're going to begin investigating our fears.
So many of us in life,
We have fear arise and we're so caught in habitual patterning that we don't even have the space or the know-how of how to really face our fears in a skillful wholesome way.
So go ahead and just take a moment to get comfortable.
Maybe making micro movements with your body,
Letting the body settle.
If it feels good,
You can let the eyes shut down.
And if it doesn't feel good,
Just finding something to hold your gaze.
And as you bring your attention from the outer world into your inner world,
Just taking a moment to locate the breath wherever you feel the breath most easily today.
It could be in the nostrils,
It could be in the chest or the belly,
But just really directing your attention right to the breath.
And just begin to notice the inhale,
Notice the exhale,
Notice the inhale,
Notice the exhale.
And as you pay attention to the breath,
See if you can let your body relax.
Maybe see if you can let your body relax the most that it's relaxed all day.
Continuing to notice the breath and really paying attention to what the mind does,
That the mind wants to wander to other things.
And knowing that that's okay and continuously practicing,
Bringing the awareness gently back to the breath.
As the mind settles and the breath settles,
Maybe whispering to yourself,
I am capable.
I am capable of looking at my fear.
I am capable.
And right here,
As your eyes are closed,
I'm going to just begin bringing in some inquiry and just trust where your mind goes.
Trust what arises,
Not overthinking it,
Just letting yourself go on this little journey.
What is it that you are afraid of?
What is it that you are afraid of?
What is it that you are afraid of?
Are you most afraid of death,
Pain,
Illness,
Or disease?
Are you more afraid of death,
Pain,
Illness,
Or disease?
Public speaking,
Getting old,
Losing your job,
Your house,
Your spouse,
Your parents.
Are you afraid of what others are thinking about you?
What is it that you are afraid of?
Be honest.
So,
Where does that coming from?
Now,
For the purpose of today,
Choose one fear and only one fear.
With time,
You can return to this meditation and go through other fears that you notice.
And for today,
Just choose one,
Knowing that every human walking this earth has multiple fears.
Just choose whichever one feels most present for you today.
Imagine that this fear is a demon in your life.
And I want you to begin examining this demon.
What is underneath?
What else are you afraid of in the context of this fear?
What are you really afraid of?
The loss of money,
Abandonment.
What are you really afraid of?
Now,
I want you to begin imagining worst-case scenario is happening right here,
Right now.
I want you to experience your worst fear.
For just a few minutes,
Go there in your mind.
Put yourself in that situation.
Imagine it.
Visualize it.
Really imagine that this is what has happened.
Stay real still.
Don't run from it.
Don't avoid it.
Face your fear.
Keep your mind relaxed.
Keeping the body relaxed.
Imagining worst-case scenario has happened.
Move closer to your fear.
Let your fear get bigger.
Let your fear get closer and bigger.
It's right here.
You're not running.
Face it fully.
Notice what is arising as you face your fear.
Let the fear get bigger.
What are you really afraid of?
Now,
Imagine that this fear becomes a demon and it's right in front of you,
Trusting whatever arises.
It's right in front of you.
It's huge.
It's about to start chasing after you.
It's going to attack you.
Here it is.
It's getting closer.
Stay really still.
It's getting closer.
Let it run towards you.
Let it get bigger.
Let it get bigger.
As it gets closer and closer,
It's about to attack you.
All the blood in your body rushes up to your head.
It rushes up to your head.
It's coming closer.
The demon is coming closer.
The demon is coming closer.
All the blood is rushing up to your head,
Up to your head,
Up to your head.
Take your head,
Rip it off and hand it over.
Say,
You can have me.
Fear you can have me.
Take me.
Take my head.
Take my blood.
Rip off an arm.
Hand it over.
Let the demon munch on every part of your body.
Give it the other arm.
Give it the chest,
The legs,
The feet.
Say,
Take all of me.
Let it have all of you.
And when there's nothing left,
Just get really still.
In the silence,
Notice what's here now.
Not looking for anything grandiose.
Just seeing just notice what's actually here right now.
And just let yourself sit gently inside your body.
With what's here now.
Notice how your fear feels now.
Just take some deep breaths.
Maybe even placing a gentle hand over your heart or one over the belly.
Or sometimes people love to place their hand on the back of their neck or on their cheeks or forehead.
Offering yourself some loving support.
Some love and care for the work that you just partook in.
And maybe ask yourself,
What do I need to hear most right now?
What do I need to hear most right now?
And whisper it to yourself a few times.
Taking some deep,
Deep breaths.
Pulling yourself in closer.
Recognizing that fear is normal.
That we all have fear.
And that we don't have to run from it.
We are capable and courageous enough to face it.
To hand ourselves over to it.
And then to see what's next.
This practice is called Chod.
It is a Tibetan practice.
Chod means cutting through.
The practice of cutting through.
You can return to this practice as often as you need.
We don't have choice in when our fear arises.
And we do have choice in how we respond to our fear.
Taking a few deep breaths.
May our fears be a spiritual guidepost.
As we sit with them,
Release them.
May more wisdom and truth be revealed.
Taking as much time as you need.
Maybe even taking your journal out.
Writing anything that came up.
Returning to this meditation as often as you need.
