Fewer Expectations - Greater Happiness

We all want the possibility to realize our greatest happiness. The attachment to being happy and the search for it, is actually getting in the way of us being present to our greatest happiness. Khentrul Rinpoche answers a student question on how to find happiness in a very concise manner which goes through some foundational concepts of Buddhism to help us realize the happiness we seek only comes when we let go of expectations.

Transcript

To reach the goal of happiness is less expectations of happiness,

You have more happiness.

If you have more expectation to reach happiness,

You have less happiness.

If you have zero expectation to reach happiness,

You have much more possibility to reach a greater happiness.

Okay,

So why?

Because everything is depending on people's expectation.

So expectation makes less happiness because less reaching the reality.

So accepting the reality is the key to reach happiness.

So that's a little bit paradox,

But it is like that.

So according to Buddhist four foundation principles to renunciation,

For the renunciation is that.

So otherwise why we have to renounce everything?

People can think that and why we have to give up everything?

People think that.

But firstly we have to understand that renunciation is not about giving up.

It is more no expectation,

No attachment,

No cleaning,

No fixation.

No means you cannot have zero from the beginner,

But you have to be realistic and reduce these expectations and attachment.

So life is not about you want to build a great goal and building,

Building.

It is as much as you can let go and then you have much more chance.

That means let go everything and means you can misunderstand that is give up everything.

It's not give up everything,

When you let go the expectations you have much more rises the willingness,

Okay?

Willingness and inspiration.

Why?

Because you eliminate that attachment and expectations.

Then you can see much more,

Something more important.

That means that inspires.

That inspires.

That inspiration have will and willingness and this willingness is diligent,

Okay?

So they link each other.

So usually people lack of diligence because you have more expectation,

Happiness or whatever you want things more than reality,

More than possibility.

So it's not much into the reality that's why,

Okay?

So then renunciation is less expectation,

Less attachment,

More flexibility and not rigidity,

Okay?

The rigidity,

Okay?

So then how makes that happen is the four convictions of the renunciation.

So which means other people named for training thoughts of them for thoughts or for training of the mind,

Okay?

So which means the first one you can think is everything is impermanent.

We all know everything going to change.

Nothing's last long but that's so obvious but we have to think more little bit more subtle.

More subtle means every nanosecond changing everything.

So therefore our perception and our expectation is not like that.

Our perception and our expectation is always same.

I don't want to change my job,

Change my family.

I want my children.

Everything I want in my way or my want,

I want that way and you expect and always be like that.

So everything you have attachment and you want to be like this permanent like this but no possible reality,

No possible on this earth anything permanent like that.

So therefore you have to accept it and reminding yourself constantly everything is impermanent.

So you prepare any changes,

Okay?

So that helps a lot if you really practice.

Why?

Because every the all you have attachment and you can let go things when you have to let go no choice that time you have much more easier because you prepared,

Okay?

So that means you reduce your suffering,

Okay?

And then also you always think that way.

Some people probably think in negative you know like oh no no no then it's depressing.

It's not depressing it's about you preparing,

Okay?

So preparing so then you can let go easily,

Okay?

That doesn't mean you want the goal.

You want they're going to change.

You want doesn't mean you go you want getting old very quickly.

It doesn't mean that but they're getting old anyway but when you get an old you can accept easily.

You have accept easily means you have a much more happiness there,

Okay?

And if you don't accept then you have no chance to happy.

So it's like that.

So therefore is everything is impermanent.

You have to understand it this way and that helps you a lot lots,

Okay?

Think that and not only this but also something you have it it's great everything you already have it you appreciate a lot because it is even impermanent even none of the second changing but still appears for you for a while is still you enjoy so that you appreciate much more.

Because usually people have bad life because they forget appreciateness.

So it's human nature always forgetting to appreciate.

So that the happiness and enjoyment is dependent depreciation,

You know?

So and that's why,

Okay?

The gratitude and appreciation are same family.

They always come each other,

Okay?

They related each other.

Also those things you forget,

Okay?

If you don't know the impermanence.

So therefore is impermanent so important,

Okay?

And some very specific traditional Buddhist they use this you are die very soon.

So have no time to waste.

So always like diligent use as source of diligent.

So then you always you are diligent.

You never waste time any time at all and which means you make your life very very meaningful because usually people's life not not so meaningful because we are lost in laziness lost and destruction,

Okay?

That's why we waste so much.

That's why it is and also means it's no important things we see as important.

That's why is we wasting time but we realize only later it is is not it wasn't important but we thought important so we give so much energy time for that and we waste so much.

But if somebody knows the nature of impermanent the people don't do that because you already know it's what is more important and that's why you spend all your time energy for that.

So that's why it's impermanent that helps incredibly.

There is nothing help than this in this earth,

Okay?

Then the second one is you have to understand the samsaric weakness,

Okay?

Because usually people has a great how do you say expectation the life is going to be very good and you know the world is going to be very good you know very nice everybody have that dream,

Okay?

But the dream is one way is you have dream is good but one way is your dream is destroy your you know your happiness because you not matching with your dream,

Okay?

So therefore instead Buddhist sees as first the samsara weakness you know the samsara means this the existence the world this world the weakness see first.

What is the weakness means is doesn't matter you are born human you have suffer you are born animal you are suffer you are unseen beings you are suffer doesn't matter you are being been you know like whatever types of sentient being you can say hell hungry ghost whatever you say you know like demigods or whatever whatever you believe whatever what kind of beings a ghost whatever you believe all of them have a problem everybody have problem why because they don't know what causes and conditions make this world make these beings,

Okay?

So basically made from everything flows into the selfishness the self-centeredness self-focus and into this so because self means it's very small narrow it's not board-willed it's not long vision so that's why is empty everything is into for this all the motivations and intentions and attitude you know everything fall into this so therefore we make a suffering nature or world so therefore you better to expect the world is not going to be perfect the world is not going to be fair okay you have to understand this you have to accept that okay so therefore then also if you think much more you can if you think much more you can think next life next life next life but if that too much for you you don't need to think about but you have to think at least this life and if you have long life when you are old how would you like to treat by others you know how would you like treat by others when you are old and weak people be very kind to you if baby very you know uh kind generous you like that or not and when you have a sick or you have very poor or something you have a big problem would you like people to be very very respect you understand you and you know like they can't to you generous if yes then you do the same thing right now when you are not sick you are not old you are not dying you have no problem that time as much as you can i mean you know have problem means cannot be zero problem all the time but whatever you don't have any big problem you can manage it also that time how can you make causes and conditions for the great future and you know you have to make now the merits okay like that so that's that's the the second one the third one is also you have to understand this human birth is very very precious even is impermanent it is still is very precious which means the comparatively the other births animal or any of these don't have as intelligent as a human okay some people are good or some animal more intelligent human but no it's in generally no of course certain few things of course they have some ability humans doesn't but in general human have much more complex okay so the mind if you train nicely but if you train badly yes human can have much more mind to complicate make the complete this world and make destroy this world of course but if you train nice way then human have much more ability so you have to understand that you have to understand that so on so forth so therefore this human birth is incredible a purchase and not very easily find incredibly difficult to find only this time we have accidentally we can't say accidentally but we have eons eons merit accumulated we have this human birth now so we should never waste this precious human birth we use as the best as we can use the best we can means to have a bold view a long vision and create kind and understanding others and if you have kindness and compassion if you developed more more long time then becomes your compassion is becomes like fearless compassion fearless compassion means incredible power and confidence in your heart so that once you have that you can do anything and nothing can destroy you so therefore is we have to accumulate that way there is no other way i mean there is no other way many philosophies many teachings can say many other methods but all of them is temporarily works only temporarily works only uh it temporarily works means that if we have sickness we have problem you take painkillers when you tackle painkillers your problem solved but it's temporarily solved is solved the same thing not the root of the illness so if you want to treat the root of the illness you have to use uh you know uh some other methods not the painkillers similarly and our human nature if you want temporary methods then you can use any others whatever they say to be more happy or whatever you can use those methods but if you really wanted the illness of the human problem then you have to understand this and permanent and then uh you know the everything and permanent so that's why we expect is permanent that's the problem and everything is suffering nature but it's a generous suffering but we expecting is everything make you happy so yeah the paradox if you don't think that way you have more chance to be happy more chance to be strong more chance to be you know everything then slowly gradually you become more compassionate and you know more high vision you know long vision you know bold view and great attitude you know so then those things you have it these qualities nobody can destroy impossible so that's that is true yourself but until now is not we shouldn't focus so selfish so self-centered because this self is not even exist is illusion yourself true yourself is incredible powerful compassionate okay and so therefore to reach this our true ourselves we have to be be mindful and consciousness and and the vigilant okay so what i talk this impermanent and you know the suffering nature and the cause and effect cause and effect i didn't talk cause and effect means karma karma means all our happiness and suffering everything is conditional nothing's non-conditional okay so that's why if we when we know the what is the right condition what is the wrong condition then yes and we have much more chance to control but when you don't know this then you have no chance to control the happy life impossible but if we knows then we have much more chance that means what i said anything can self-focus selfish and we use everything other people's happiness other people's well-being we use for purpose of uh for self-benefits that means is really stupid because you you creating a very bad karma for yourself in the future but if we focus others altruistic mind and we ignore the self and we you know we not focus we don't have to 100 ignore but you don't focus oneself self-centeredness and we focus others because others means innumerable one self means only one so we don't focus oneself we focus innumerable others if that does then the self is no problem self is one of the other so so that's why then we accumulate only good karma you know good good good cause and conditions only so then the result also is is much better so that's why you can say karma and means the cause and condition uh and you you know this rule okay you just know this rule which means they're not come from somewhere else they come from ourself in our mind so mind positive and negative or mind negative attitude positive attitude or mind compassionate or selfish that's it basically so all of them so and which one you want which one you want to create so if we understand these four things and then everything is going to be right direction it doesn't mean become zero problem but always a reduction to improvement everything and then eventually when we say enlightened which means as big zero problem you know absent of problem there is no problems and there is no even cause of condition problem nor even propensity potential problem then is enlightened means like that so if you basically I'll talk like this so maybe I'll stop here I talk maybe too long so that's it okay

Reviews

Thank you master

Wonderful talk…thank you

Thank you- I appreciate this so much!

Thank you 🙏🏻