Why Don't We Want to Grow Up?

It can frustrate us that teens seem to not want to grow up. But do we? Really? What does this really mean? What if the current idea of "growing up" is actually just a life of slavery "to the matrix"? What if there's another way - a truly human way - the road to self-actualization?

Transcript

So today's talk is called, Why We Don't Want to Grow Up. This was inspired by a talk by my friend Shannon Hugman, Who is this amazing astrologer. And it came from a talk she did two months ago and there was something going on in the planets, Which I can't explain because I don't know astrology like that. But there was something going on that she said, In this kind of energy, It's that feeling like, I don't want to grow up, I don't want to grow up, I just want to stay a teenager, I don't want to do it, I don't want, I don't want, I just want to stay a teenager. I really thought about that. And I thought about this feeling inside that says, You know that feeling when you're a teenager, Having to kind of join the workforce. And how often when we're a teenager, We want to grow up, We want to be an adult, Simply because we don't want to be under the thumb of our parents. And we want to have freedom, We want to have autonomy. But especially today, A lot of people moving into their 20s, They're like, Okay, Adulting sucks. It's too hard, It's too expensive, It's just not the same as it once was. But what really intrigues me is I think there's a lot more to it. I think there's something within our soul that says, What society defines as growing up isn't what we're here for. What it means to become an adult in our current society, In the society we've been living for the last millennia, Isn't actually a human soul maturing. If you imagine a human soul coming to the planet, Experiencing childhood, This time that we're meant to be cared for, Loved, Nurtured, Taught, Whatever we need to do to sort of become a fully actualized human. Well, We aren't taught that. We're taught how to join the workforce. We're taught how to get married and have children and become part of the machine or something. And some of this talk may feel a bit, I guess it's funny when I was thinking of doing this talk, It was like, Wow, You're going to sound like a crazy negative person. But I actually genuinely think this, This is really where my thoughts went after Shannon's talk. We aren't taught that. We're actually taught how to do as we're told. We're taught to achieve something based on external parameters. We're taught how to get the A in your eyes, Not my eyes. We're taught how to be successful based on something that someone else determined was success, Not my soul at all. And that's interesting. Like you imagine even how different our childhood would be if we were being taught the skills to fully actualize as a human being, How different that would be. So just a bit of context, Because again, This is genuinely how I see the world. Take it or leave it, It's just my perspective, But it's not a perspective I generally share. So I was reading this really interesting book yesterday called The History of the Tantric Religion. And they were talking about the creation of the caste system in India and how essentially there was a class of people who chose to be the dominant class or the dominating class or whatever that was which you wanted to call it. And of course within the Hindu understanding, Brahman is all things. Brahman is God, Brahman is not. And it's not that simple by a long shot. And so this dominating class, The dominant class, Were the Brahmins and they created the caste system. And essentially from here on in, They would not work any longer. And they kind of organized the rest of society into all the people that would now work so that they wouldn't have to work. And what's really interesting about this, Because when you really think about this soul's thing that says, No, No, No, I'm not going to fall into this program. It's like, Well, Why am I working to serve a bunch of other humans? That doesn't make any sense. But it wasn't just happening in India, It was happening all over the world. Plato even wrote about it. Plato wrote this whole thing about, Now that we have installed the slavery class, Like they actually created slavery, And his words were literally, So that the citizens of Greece could now focus on other things because they no longer had to do manual labor. That they had given the labor and the agriculture to the slaves. So this was a real thing thousands of years ago, That there was this separation of the citizens, Or the upper class, Or the dominant class, And then there were the people who worked for them. There was this real separation. And this is all over the world. Like this would be in the Arab countries, It was in Europe, It was the royalty, It's all this idea. And what's really interesting about this is this is actually the paradigm that we've all grown up in. That there are those that don't work, And there are those that do. And there's something amuck about that. And I believe that this is why it's kind of really driving me crazy right now. It's something I think about a lot. This is very current in my own consciousness, As I'm sort of sorting the world. And again, I believe in 2022, Veils are dropping from our eyes. Like we're seeing things that we never could see before. And this is one of those things where we're looking around going, Wait a minute, Why are we working so hard? Why are we working eight, Ten hours a day? What's going on? Who are we working for? What is this? Why is our education system the way it is? Why were we trained the way we were? This doesn't make any sense. Like if all of us right here, All joined in and created a community, And we actually all contributed our skills, Whatever they were, To meeting the needs of our community, Do you know how little we would have to work? When we were dairy farmers, We worked 17 hour days. But we weren't just creating milk for us. We were creating milk for hundreds of thousands of people or something, Right? But what if you only worked and created what was needed in your local community? How little we would actually work? Buckminster Filler talked about this a lot, That there was this entire percentage of the workforce that literally did nothing but move pillar to post and plan another meeting and do this and do that, But never actually accomplished anything of any actual value to society. And this is a really interesting thing to just imagine that the paradigm we were raised in isn't quite right. And the fact that we don't really want to move into that or we rebel against it even in the smallest ways is right. That our soul knows something. Our soul knows something is wrong. So it's really interesting about this. And of course, You know, Movies like The Matrix definitely showed this to us and it said, Really, Are you sure this is what you want to be doing? Are you really exhibiting self-choice? Are you really living the life you want to live? Or are you plugged into a machine? What's really going on? Honestly. So what's interesting is from that place when we're all born, We take different paths. Some people rebel against the system from day one. From day one, It's like, Screw that, Screw you teachers, Screw that. I'm not working. I don't want to do that. And it's rebelling against the family, Which is normally seriously justified. Rebelling against authority. Rebellion, Again, Authority. How in the world does one human have authority over another human? This is crazy. This is not a spiritual axiom. This is not a real thing. Humans can't have authority over other humans. We are all divine beings. There's no such thing. The very idea that there is authority, That there's a hierarchy. Well, Guess who made the hierarchy? The dominating class. Period. And again, I know this is not my normal shtick that I would normally teach, But I think it's really, Really important and it's really intriguing to me. So, Of course, These people are the rebels. I'm going to call them the rebels. They're like, And screw you, And screw you, And screw you, And screw you. And even if one day down the road, It's like, Well, I do have to get a job. I've got to pay the bills. But there's always this thing inside that says, Oh, I hate my job. I hate having to go to work. I hate having to do this. And the world sucks and politicians are idiots and religion is stupid. There's just this constant spirit of rebellion. But you almost don't even know who you're rebelling against because they're kind of hiding. It's like you know there's a boogeyman in the room, But you don't know who it is. So, If I just get pissed off enough constantly, Then maybe I'll figure it out and I'll figure out the way to happiness. But I'll tell you right now, I'm not doing what I'm told to do because whatever that is, There's something wrong with. Then there's folks who grew up in the same paradigm and for some reason want to achieve in the paradigm. That's me. From the time I was little, I wanted to get the A. I wanted the gold star. I wanted to be the best. I wanted to be the top student. I wanted to be a good wife. I wanted to be a good citizen. I wanted to figure this out. I wanted autonomy. I wanted to be successful. And I was more than happy to do it in the system I was given. So, I looked at the system. I didn't do this consciously, But I looked at it and went, Okay, I'm going to try to look this way. I'm going to get this kind of education. I'm going to get this kind of job. I'm going to marry this kind of person. I'm going to have whatever. I try to do everything right. And then what happens? Well, In my case, I can't speak for everybody, But in my case, I eventually realized around age 29 that it was a dead end. I wasn't happy at all. I was actually so depressed, Literally despairing, That I got sick and like thankfully had breast lumps and had to play the cancer game and had to go through a pile of dark nights of the soul to say, Wait a minute, What am I doing? Who says this is what a good wife is? Who's to say this is what a good life is? Who's to say that someone else gets to define what my life should be or what my day should look like or what I should think or what I should do? Who said? And these were serious dark nights of the soul, Especially if I had 30 years under my belt of really believing that this was going to make me feel good. This was going to make me feel part of the collective. This was going to make me accepted. This was going to make me respected by other people because again, I even in myself wanted to be higher in the hierarchy because this is what it is. When there's a hierarchy, We don't want to be at the bottom. We want to rise up in it. So we do things to try to make ourselves better and better and better and better and better and not even that we're consciously comparing ourselves to others, But we are because that's the nature of the game. It doesn't matter whether you're at work and you need to climb the ladder to be a higher level of management, A higher level of whatever, Employee of the week, Employee of the month. We become parents and we want people to say, Oh wow, Katrina, She's such a great mom. We want to do this because of course if I'm such a great mom, There must be people who aren't. Like it's all about this higher and lower comparison thing and we don't want to be on the bottom end of that comparison because the whole paradigm is set in this curious hierarchy. We want to be the royalty. We want to be the dominant class. We want to be whatever, Wherever we are. It's a paradigm in our minds. So I come to a place in my life where I realize, So me growing up doesn't mean being the best person in the system. According to the system, Me being an A student in the system actually isn't me growing up. It's me still looking to someone else to tell me what to do. Me growing up and what I really mean by why we don't want to grow up in the world, Well there's a lot of things I mean there, But for me growing up meant setting aside what other people thought, Setting aside the system and the paradigm that I was raised in and saying what does my soul want? What was I put here for? And taking the much scarier road of following that path, Getting an A in that path and that's a lot harder because of course the system is so, It simplifies it to say all you have to do is check these boxes and you're good to go. You can just go to sleep from now on. Don't you worry. You do what you want to do and you can just watch Wheel of Fortune for the rest of your life. It's a sanctuary, But that's not our soul self-actualizing. We're like infinite beings. Our self-actualization process could continue for our entire life. We could just keep growing and expanding and growing and expanding. That in my opinion is what true growing up means. We're like the people that we were growing up where every day we discover something new about ourselves and that's really fun. That's really exciting because every day you're like, Whoa, And there's nobody who can judge you. There's nobody who can say, Well, That was a wrong choice. Why did you do that? Well, You shouldn't think that because this is a hundred percent between you and God or you and the universe or you and this planet or you and wherever you came from. It's a hundred percent our choice. And that changes everything because life is really entertaining then. And then suddenly all we want to do is grow up. All we want to do is self-actualize. We really, Really, Really want to go inside and say, Whoa, What's really going on inside of me here? This is an exciting journey of growing up. That other weird journey of growing up, Just learning how to be a factory worker or how to do the thing that that other person is going to give you the gold star for and always trying to look a certain way for other people and always trying to make enough money so the neighbors think you're successful and all that. In that path of growing up, I don't see a lot of happiness there. Hence the desire to like screw that. I'm just going to rebel against that for all I'm worth. And what I find fascinating is even though I consciously chose that no, No, No, I want to get the A in it, There was a lot of parts in me that were also truly rebelling. Like I wasn't all in. There were all kinds of parts and sometimes that rebellion was turned towards me. Like sometimes it was self-sabotage. It was almost like my soul was like, Trina, This sucks. This is not where you want to be putting your energy. And so suddenly I'm, I don't know, Eating too many caramel bars and not exercising and not doing all the things that actually bring me to my greatest truth. Because deep down I'm not even happy about where I'm going. So I've got this like brutal dichotomy going on inside of me where half of me is like, Must achieve, Must achieve and the other side going screw that, Go to bed, Go to bed. I make all the wrong choices. And so it's a really interesting thing to actually get all of our ducks in a row, Find out our own soul's path and actually grow and expand in that instead. So what's really intriguing to me is that, You know, I told a lot of you guys that I was donated this bookshelf full of books where all these books have come from. I mean, I never know why things happen. They're all books about ancient tantric texts, Ancient philosophy, A lot from the East, A lot about ancient Buddhism and things like that, Which all actually come from the same root. And what's intriguing to me right now, My theory is that a lot of these teachers and gurus, For whatever reason, Weren't affected by this dominating class. They were outside of it. Maybe they were hiding in the Himalayas or up in the Andes. But there are pockets of people in the world that were not affected by this paradigm. The rest of us have thousands of years of ancestral memory that we have to snap out of, Which is very possible. It's very possible today. But for some reason, These teachers didn't. They were immune for some reason. And so what did they teach us? And these wisdom teachings have been here the whole time. But what have they taught us? Non-attachment. What does that mean? Don't worry about the things that they tell you you're supposed to be attached to. And isn't it interesting, This idea of they? What will they think? Again, It's this strange invisible boogeyman. So this non-attachment releases us from the system. It's not non-attachment personally that we don't get to love or we don't get to love chocolate or we don't get to love hiking or we don't get to love puppies. It's non-attachment to the things we've been well trained to care about, The hooks that keep us enslaved. They teach us to go within, Listen inside to the voice that doesn't use words, That every single one of us has wisdom inside of us. The wisdom doesn't come from outside. No one else knows what the right step is on your path. Over and over again, Listen within, Listen within, Know thyself. This is all that matters inside. Be present. Just be here now because of course this whole thing that we've sort of been born into says, Plan for the future, Make the right choices, Develop security, Depend on us, Do this. It's all about the future. Whereas this whole concept of carpe diem, Seize the day, Live now, This is so empowering. And this is what all the teachers have said to us. For millennia, They've always been there in the corners. But half the time we read these texts and we think, Yeah, But what about my job? Then what about my rent? And what about this? And these are valid issues as we are still hooked into that system, Into that. The caste system doesn't just exist in India. It's a worldwide thing. It just happens to actually be out there in the open and named. The other really interesting thing is this idea of moksha, Of freedom, That we don't have to be enslaved. We actually could live according to our truth. But this idea that we can live in total freedom, That we are fully divine beings, That these upper chakras aren't just in name. We really are fully connected to the universe and fully incarnate here on Earth. And that because when you think of our chakras, Even the seven main chakras that we look at, We have the root chakra connected to the Earth, How we are manifest. We have the crown chakra, How we are connected to the infinite galaxy, To God, To the universe. These are equal. We are equally divine and equally physical. We are equally connected to each other through the second chakra. And we are equally listening here all the way through. We are equally divine and equally physical. So from here, What's really interesting is suddenly growing up means self-actualization. And one of the cool things I learned recently about in this book actually about tantra, I've been teaching tantra for a long time. And I normally just focus on how it relates to people and how it relates to relationships and love and connection and all that. And there was always this story that I would hear in the background about the tantricas and how they would go into a town and they were the rebels and they would upset the apple cart and they would try to wake the people up out of their spell. This was a huge teaching in tantra. What was really interesting in this book, The History of the Tantric Religion I was reading, Is that tantra is very similar to the indigenous cultures and indigenous religions around the world where divinity and spirituality was a part of the earth. It was a part of our day-to-day life. It was a part of our work. It was a part of our love. It was a part of our child-rearing. It was a part of our friendships. It was a part of community. It wasn't separate. It was always part and parcel. It was always together. And then this is the curious thing about thousands of years ago when this curious dominating class arose all over the world. That it arose and it said, No, No, No, No. We will take care of all that for you. Don't you worry. We will be connected to the divine. We will be connected. And we'll tell you what it all means. The tantricas said, No, No, No, No, No. They said, No, This is intrinsic to the human being. This is not to be taken outside of each individual human's sphere of influence or sphere of choice. This is us. And so, Of course, The tantricas continued to live. They continued to do what they had to do. And so who started dissing the tantrics? Well, This class of the dominant class was like, They are the behemians and they're this and they're that and they're horrible. And it's hilarious, Right? Because they weren't doing what they were told, Which is a very different sense for me than what I originally thought the tantricas were doing, That they were intentionally rebelling and all that. It's like, No, They were just holding their own. They were just saying, No, The divinity belongs in here. And this is actually a very deep tantric teaching that, You know, We talk about the microcosm and the macrocosm. We as human beings are actually a microcosm of the entire universe. Everything that's happening out there is happening right in here. This is actually an ancient tantric teaching. So when you begin there, That means that all self-actualization happens here. All spiritual growth happens here. There is no God out there ruling the universe. Again, What paradigm does that sound like? So it's not out there in here and we're just the lowly humans. It's all here because we are a microcosm of the universe. So where is the path? Where is the path to enlightenment? It's all in here. This is a very scary teaching for any kind of class that wants people to work so that they don't have to work. The tantra thing is really, Really interesting. And suddenly it doesn't seem like such a rebellious act as much as it's simply a very grounded act. It's simply something that says no, Religion doesn't just belong in a church on Sunday. It doesn't just belong in your prayers when we're burning incense. We're meant to do it at work. We're meant to listen within for guidance all the time. We're meant to do it when we're raising our children, When we're making love, When we're cooking, When we're working all the time. So again, If we circle this back to the desire to grow up, Imagine the journey of growing up when what we're doing is exploring the microcosm. We're exploring the universe through this divine vehicle, This infinite vehicle we were given. That is a very, Very exciting journey. That's a way of growing up I'm all about. And there's nothing in me that wants to rebel against it either. Suddenly all self-sabotage programs go by the by. Everything. Because I'm like, No, I do want to explore that. Why was I created this way? Why am I made this way? Why was I born to this family? Isn't that interesting that this is how I was raised or this is the experience I had? I wonder what that says about humanity. I wonder why I was given this particular lens to view this world. It changes everything. So it's a really interesting journey depending on where we, Where our natural tendency was. You know, Whether we kind of initially just rebelled right off the hop or whether we really tried to get the gold star. If we sort of began down that rebellious path. It's a really interesting journey to shift to self-actualization, To shift to a different growth. Because if we are rebelling, The system still owns us because everything we do is simply against something. Against our parents, Against authority, Against our bosses, Against the church, Against the politicians, Against. They still own us. True self-actualization has no attachment to that either. That we actually get to go within and say, I'm not for and I'm not against you. I'm actually going to carve out my own path. And that's a big deal if we spent a lifetime rebelling against it. And if you're one that wanted to get the gold star. What a really huge deal to give ourselves our own gold stars. That require no one else's approval. Not our partner, Not our boss, Not our parents, Not our kids, Not our friends. Nobody's. That we really are diving into our own microcosm. And that's no small thing to give up the approval of others. But it's so much more fun. I think that's one of the reasons that a lot of the spiritual teachings are all about satya. Like satya being truth. Satya isn't just here's what I think about that. Satya is that place where you go inside and you ask, Okay, What is my next step? Or what is my true perspective on something? And we just walk in that. And this is Gandhi's teaching. Satyagraha, Standing in one's truth. Imagine living like that. Imagine if all of us lived like that. And we just walked in our actual truth all the time. And continued to grow in that truth. The wild thing about it is we always know we're on a path of truth because it actually feels good. Sometimes it's challenging to get back on the path because we have to give up some things. We have to give up some attachments to people or situations or circumstances. It's a bit of a journey to get back on. And even once you're there, We fly off into the woods all the time. Right? But there's really something about changing the whole definition of growing up. And just really growing into who we actually are. There are huge hints about this coming from people in their deathbed. Right? And the beautiful thing is, Like one of my favourite things that Buckminster Fuller said, Was he used to say that you can't fix an old system. You just create a new one and the old one just disappears. And that's really what I believe. I believe you just really go within. Again, This is just my experience. It's like when I go within and I ask, It's like I know a world that is actually possible. And I can experience it all kinds of times. And we just focus on that and we just build the new fire. And those who are attracted to it, Who resonate with it, Who believe it also to be their path, Will just simply join there. 100% Kate. It's just so, Our satya is odd, Honestly. Normally it's the things we love the most. It's the life we love to live. And again, Because of this weird separation of this, We are the ones that don't work. And we are the ones that do work. There's this other really weird pattern going on. You know, You go on Facebook, So because I'm really feeling rebellious about this right now, Every time I see a post on Facebook, Like a sponsored post, And it says, How to make a million dollars a year, How to make 50 grand a month, How to make all your money from one client. Don't serve 30 clients, Serve one client. And you can make 40 grand a month or whatever. My rebellious side right now, Because this is really hot for me right now, I literally want to go on there and say, Do you have a cocaine addiction? Why do you need so much money? And what's really interesting is, Why does everybody want to not work? The four hour work week, Everything is about not working, Because we've been so trained that we want to be in that elite class. We want to be in the dominating part of society that doesn't have to work, So that everybody else will do all the work for us. Because we still need to eat, We still need to have food, We still need to have shelter, We still need to get around. But this weird training, Because we've had to be this working class for so many generations, It's like we still have this thing inside of us, I don't want to ever work. That's my goal, That's my ideal. It's like, No it's not. If we all live together in a community, Everybody's going to work. Everybody's going to contribute. There's nobody that gets to be supervisor. Everybody's going to contribute. Life's not that complicated. And so it's really interesting, A lot of these strange paradigms that are rising up right now that says how to live and never work. It's like, Oh we have to look at that. We have to look at why that's the goal. To not contribute to the community. Who wants that? We know who wants that. That's not the way of the future. That's not the way of true connection and true love. And I mean that in terms of real loving community. I think a lot about community these days. I love pondering community. I love thinking about what connects us and what holds us apart. And I think a lot of this weird competition and desire to rise in that hierarchy, To eventually be the one that isn't doing any work, Causes a lot of disconnect in community. A lot of comparison and a lot of fear of each other, Dog eat dog and all that stuff. So it's an interesting thing to say, Now what do I really love? What makes my soul sing? What do I love to do? The confusion is crazy and sometimes backwards. That's why it's such an interesting time. Like as difficult as the world is in many ways right now, It's so potent. Like it's so in your face. It's almost like it forces you inward because it's so wild. There's so much divisiveness. There's so much opportunity to really get our pants on fire. Then you go, Why? Why? Why is it like this? Okay, Well I'm going to use this one way or the other. I'm going to use it to hate all my friends and family. I'm going to use it to split the communities even worse than ever before. Or I'm going to use it for my soul's growth and I'm going to dive inside. I'm going to truly find my gifts. I'm going to truly find my Satya and question myself and say, Do I really believe this? Do I really believe that my soul can guide me on this path? Or is it just an idea? Is it just something I read in a book? Do I really believe it? Because God knows the world is nuts right now. So it's a beautiful thing when the world becomes so potent. Because we become more potent. We have to dive in. It gets interesting. My sister was talking to a premier of Nunavut, Which is one of the territories in Canada up in the north. She was talking to him years ago, Maybe five or six years ago. She was complaining about politics, Something going on in politics in the world. His advice was, Don't focus on what the politician said or did. Focus on the result in the population. Focus on what happened because they did it. That's a very interesting thing from a spiritual perspective. If a politician does this thing and the people rise, That's interesting. It's not interesting what the politician did. It's interesting that the people rose. If something happens in family and people have realizations and secrets are shared, It's an interesting thing why things happen. When we look at it from that microcosm, Macrocosm thing, There's a lot of different ways to look at what's going on. To me, It's really interesting when you actually imagine that the collective consciousness is, And I'm just responding to Monica here, In chiropractic we call innate intelligence a subset of universal intelligence. When you think of that universal intelligence, Every single one of us is a part of it. It's not an intelligence out there. It is the collective of all of us here right now. When we go inside and we explore that microcosm, We do explore the divine passion inside of each of us for life. Then my divine passion connects with your divine passion, Connects with your divine passion. That is the universal consciousness. We are it. This whole curiosity about the world even to say, It isn't about waiting for the world to become peaceful. It's each one of us to find it in. We are that exactly. We are the microcosm. When we find peace, When we find it, And then we connect with others, We become the new web of consciousness in the world. It never comes from outside because there's nothing outside of us. Nature's already perfect. That one's done. We're the ones that have to create the interesting human web of consciousness. It's an amazing opportunity. It's kind of a fun time to get this idea of growing up. I think about it all the time. Anytime I go to do something, I'm like, Trina, Which game are you playing? You're rebelling against the system right now? Or are we going to actually live our wisdom? Not in a judgmental way or anything. I'm not mean to myself. I just sit and observe. Sometimes I still choose the rebel side. I haven't sorted it all out. I've got deep, Deep programming trying to fit in the system and succeed in the system and all that kind of thing. Whatever. It's a journey. But there's just as many times that I choose truth and I choose to go within. We don't have to figure this out overnight. We just have to let our eyes be open to what's really going on. Thank you so much for joining me. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Reviews

I know when I am moving away from my centre and slipping into old and outdated patterns and have recently noticed I haven't been centred. My intuition brought me to this and it was the right choice. I am still part of the machine but little by little am finding my ways of loosening it's grip. Recently I have become more politicised but what you said about rebelling against is still being trapped by it.....I will focus on my path because I know my path is going to lead me to being an active community member and the alternative to this system needs to come from the people on the ground, the ones who have unplugged from the matrix. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and knowledge, it was exactly what I needed to hear today 🙂🙏

Oooh I LOVED this talk. You covered many themes that have been bothering my consciousness for a while so it was great to hear you speaking them out loud. Thank you so much! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

This was an absolutely brilliant talk. I heard it live and came back to hear it again. I’ve taken many pages of notes. So profound and resonates with exactly where I am in life. Thank you!!

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