Thriving As An Empath 9: Soul Group Connections

As an empath, it is normal to feel the emotions of others. But sometimes it seems that there is a deeper kind of connection. Something that feels so much like it's ours that we don't even stop to wonder whose it is. Let's explore the idea that we are deeply connected to folks all around the world. Part 9 of the Thriving As An Empath

Transcript

So today is our final talk of our thriving as an empath series.

And it's all about soul group connections.

We often think about being an empath in terms of the relationships with people right close to us,

You know,

And very often we look at being an empath as a negative thing.

Not really,

Like in our hearts we're glad we're empaths,

But in a world that is,

It can be pretty cruel and pretty disconnected,

Sometimes it's really hard to be empathic.

The point of this whole series is really to understand why it's brilliant and how to thrive in it.

You know,

We've identified through the many talks about,

You know,

Some of the challenges and the pitfalls and where it can be hard,

Especially in a world that is just growing into itself.

You know,

Sometimes we have this idea that there was a time that human beings were more evolved and maybe it was Lemuria or Atlantis or some other time that's lost to us.

But in our current incarnation,

In our current recorded history or the history that we understand,

We're not so sure we've been more evolved than this.

And so as each one of us develops our empathic gifts,

I think the world is just going to keep catching up.

But in the meantime,

It can be really challenging.

So this whole journey has been about where are we going as an empath?

What can we do with this?

How does it make our life more interesting,

More juicy?

How does it make our relationships richer?

How does it make our own journey richer?

And so normally,

Because again,

We've been focusing on the negative,

We focus on the difficult ones close by,

Partners,

Family,

Especially family,

Coworkers,

Children.

But this talk is about what about the other seven or eight billion souls on the planet?

Are we connected to some of them too?

And I'm not going to go with to all of them,

Right?

We can go to the whole,

Oh,

We are all one and we are all,

You know,

In that paradigm,

You know,

We're all one consciousness.

That's not a really valuable perspective to use in this case.

Because in oneness,

We're not separate.

We're just in this eternal joyous bliss,

Singularity.

Right?

What we're talking about here is,

But how do we actually feel each other in duality?

And so today's talk is really a thought experiment.

This is not something I can prove.

This isn't something I can say.

And here is how it is.

A thought experiment is something where we just ponder something.

And we ask ourselves,

Does that land is truth?

Is there some aspect of my experience that this rings true with?

And we don't have to know what the answer is.

We don't have to know that aha,

Yes,

It's a soul group that I've been traveling through time with for the last 72 lifetimes.

And you were once my father,

Like we can,

We don't have to actually come down to a final conclusion.

But what we can do is sort of throw things out into the ethers and allow them to swirl and see what truth is.

Because it's an interesting thing to grow in the spiritual realms.

Because very often we're talking about things that we don't really understand.

I was,

I can't remember who it was.

I think it was there's a guy on Gaia,

Who talks about dimensions and things.

He's a Spanish guy,

A young guy.

I can't remember what his name is.

But I remember him saying once that we feel things before our brain can conceptualize them.

Like our emotional body is actually more evolved than our brain,

Which makes a lot of sense,

Right?

Because our brain learns in hindsight,

Our brain learns something,

Maybe it catalogs it,

Maybe it integrates it.

But it doesn't have new experiences.

Like our brain records what we're experiencing and almost has to go away and do the research to figure out why this is true.

So when we feel something as true,

When we have an experience in the world emotionally as an empath,

Very often we're learning something new.

And then our brain catches up with us later.

So that's really what today's all about is we're just going to think about the possibilities in terms of being connected around the world with people.

Because how beautiful is that?

We experience it here in the live that it honestly feels like we're all sitting in the same room having a conversation.

Why do we feel like that?

Why do we feel like we are actually all connected that somehow we actually know each other,

Even though all we really might know is our name,

Or maybe the picture,

They are our avatar picture here on insight timer.

And yet,

A bigger part of us knows,

If we all suddenly landed in a retreat center somewhere,

We'd already know each other.

Right,

This is not something we can explain.

But we know our hearts know each other.

You know,

That's a thing.

How amazing is that?

What an amazing function of being an empath that is.

So instead of,

You know,

Being upset that it's hard to connect with people who are distant or hurt,

That we close our eyes,

And we almost let our soul scan the planet.

And we think,

Wow,

They may be thousands of people out in the world that I am actually empathically connected to right now.

And we all understand each other.

How peaceful that is in our heart,

No matter where we are in the world,

No matter how isolated we might feel,

Because we're either actually alone,

Or even if we're in huge groups of people or in relationship,

But no one quite gets us to actually realize that out of the 8 billion people on the planet,

There's probably piles.

So,

I don't know,

Back in the 80s,

When the celestial prophecy first came out,

I think that was the first time I ever heard the idea of a soul group.

You know,

That we actually traveled through lifetimes,

And we continue to keep meeting people we already knew.

And you feel that,

Right?

You can go to a party or you go to an event,

And someone walks in,

They go,

Hey,

This is,

You know,

This is Karen.

And you look at them,

You say,

Hi,

We've never met?

You feel so familiar to me.

Like how we say that,

You feel so familiar to me,

Right?

Our hearts remember,

Our empathic hearts,

I know you.

Why do I know you?

You know,

Sometimes I think,

Even,

You know,

If you're single,

And you're dating,

I swear sometimes you're actually just looking for people you already know.

You meet someone on a date,

On the first date,

And you kind of go,

Yeah,

I just don't feel anything.

You know,

And then someone else you meet and you're like,

Hey,

Wow,

You are so familiar.

Right?

And what is that?

And one of the explanations,

And there's been a lot of mythology around this,

A lot of interesting people have written books and screenplays around this idea of meeting each other over and over again.

Imagine that.

Imagine the people you meet that you are so connected with.

Imagine it's deeper than just,

Oh,

Yeah,

We probably,

We just probably knew each other in a past life,

Right?

Yeah,

It's no big deal.

What if it's a really big deal?

What if it's mystical,

And amazing,

That we are actually psychically connected?

What if it's,

And what if we treat it like that?

What if we treat it like the minute I met this person,

I just knew that we were going to be friends,

Or I just knew we were going to be lovers,

Or I just knew we were going to work together somehow.

I just knew it.

What if we really took that in and said,

Wow,

What a magical world this is?

How amazing is that?

Right?

So that's a really fun thing,

Especially as an empath,

To wander around the world,

No matter where you go,

And you don't have to focus on everybody.

But look for the people you recognize.

Like,

Allow yourself to be as psychic as you really are,

As every single one of us here really is.

And you're just scanning the crowd for a feeling for someone you're drawn to,

For some reason.

I'm not talking about sexually,

That you're just,

What is it?

Why do I keep looking at this person?

Why do I,

Why am I wondering what they're doing now?

Why do I feel myself inching towards that corner of the room?

And you can even just go up and say,

You know,

It's weird.

You know,

You seem so familiar.

Yeah,

It's weird,

Right?

You know,

And you just,

What if it's,

What if life's that interesting?

What if this is one of the gifts of being a high functioning empath?

Is that you can find your friends so quickly?

How cool is that?

You know,

Puppy sounds at the bottom of the stairs.

I met a woman once at a retreat.

And it was interesting.

It was actually,

I had been studying Tantra for a long time.

And I'd been having these really wild experiences,

Like really kind of out of body experiences while having sex and not like a disassociated state or something,

More like,

Like an ecstatic state where my body would almost like rise up and it was very bizarre.

And so I would go to all these retreats to find others who also had had these experiences because when I would read the books,

People wouldn't,

Even the teachers just looked at me and said,

Wow,

That's really wild.

I've never had that happen.

Then one day,

I met this woman from Europe.

And I started telling her these stories.

And she started finishing my sentences.

And I looked at her and I'm like,

You are someone.

And we,

You know,

Instantly started calling each other our sisters,

Right?

Like,

Even though we live so far apart,

There was something interesting that connected us.

And even years later,

I discovered that I was severely anemic and I was ended up in the hospital,

Having to get blood transfusions.

And I was recovering,

Chilling on the couch.

And I was going through Facebook and there's this picture of her in the hospital,

Getting blood transfusions because her blood had dropped.

And we hadn't really talked a lot since,

You know,

The retreat probably like eight months before that.

And then we really started chatting.

And we really started connecting.

And it came to this point where I would literally have started having thoughts and feelings.

And I would call her and say,

Are you okay?

She'd say,

Oh,

I'm having the worst day.

You know,

I would be,

This was when I was traveling a lot and I'd be like across the world.

And all of a sudden,

She would be in my mind and in my heart.

And I'd be like,

What is going on?

And I would call her and say,

What's it?

And she goes,

Oh,

I'm just having the worst time.

And it wasn't.

And it's very possible that I also felt her happiness.

But it was the sadness I noticed the most,

Right?

Those are the pieces that we,

We really notice.

You know,

It's really interesting to me is the idea that what if,

You know,

I knew that my friend was struggling,

Right?

And I was able to call her and I was able to say,

Are these feelings I'm having mine?

Are they yours?

Or whose are they?

You know,

And,

But what if I didn't know?

Right?

Are there other people in the world whose,

Whose emotions I'm also feeling?

Right?

Are there other people who I haven't even met yet,

Who are having difficult days?

You know,

And it just,

It sort of just asks us to think about that and say,

You know,

When we ask even like,

Is this emotion mine?

Even if I don't know whose it is,

Can I let it go anyway?

Right?

Like,

Is that possible?

Can I just let it go?

Because there's,

There's 8 billion people on the planet,

There is a high chance that maybe it's part of your soul group.

Maybe there's something going on in the world,

Right?

So there's really something,

It's something really interesting to just even allow,

Allow the thought experiment that this is a possibility.

So in the Netflix show Sense8,

It's a move,

It's a show by the Wachowskis and the Wachowskis are particularly brilliant.

I actually believe they are great prophets of our time.

They created the Matrix,

They created Cloud Atlas,

They created Sense8.

And in Sense8,

If you've never seen it,

It's so brilliant.

It's a story of eight people around the world who were connected empathically,

But connected in a very deep soul way.

And the wild thing about it is as the viewer,

You get to watch them explore this connection.

You know,

It kind of begins with,

You know,

You're sitting there and all of a sudden you're humming a song.

And one of the people in your soul group are also humming the song.

And someone else is humming the song.

And then they actually start to realize that,

Wait,

There's someone else going on or there's something else connected here.

And what's amazing about this show,

I mean,

It's just so well done and it's Wachowskis and it's genius.

But their connections have this underlying assumption that when you meet another person who you're actually empathically connected to,

There's like 80% of communication isn't even necessary because it's all coming through the heart channel.

It's all coming through the empathic vibes,

Right?

And what's really amazing is are the lovemaking scenes in Sense8.

They are off the charts because of course it is,

It's literally the most tantric lovemaking I've ever seen in film.

Like just bar none,

Because you are literally merged with them to begin at a heart level.

And the bodies really are just flowing through the motions of that heart connection.

And what's really cool is this couple could be making love over here.

But of course,

Because they're empathically connected to this person over in Africa and this person over in Iceland,

If those people also choose to be making love in the moment,

All of a sudden those energies all start to form together.

And as the show continues,

They actually superimpose the lovemaking scenes onto each other.

And even on occasion,

They mix and they're able to even make love with people across the world.

But it is so seamless,

And it is so heartfelt and so beautiful.

And it spans gender,

Orientation,

Everything in a way that is,

It's just so seamless.

It is a work of art,

You know,

And I just,

If you've never watched it before,

I will warn you because I've done this before,

I recommend it to people,

Recommended it to people.

And the first show,

The first episode,

There is violence in it.

And so you just,

I don't know,

It never,

The violence never bothered me,

Strangely enough,

But there is violence in it.

But it is such an epic show.

So now imagine that this isn't a fictional show.

So what if they're right?

What if we really are connected to people all around the world?

What if when we're feeling happy,

We might also be feeling other people's happiness?

What if when we're feeling sad,

We're feeling other people's sadness?

What if when we're making love,

We're tapping in to all the people in the world who are making love right now?

Can you imagine?

Just imagine that for a minute.

That every time we feel happy,

We're tapped into all the happiness that is,

Right?

That somehow we're all just lit up with everybody's happiness.

And when the funny thing about this whole Wachowski thing and the lovers at a distance and all that kind of thing.

You know,

I remember the first time I had this lover after I was married,

And he and I had this kind of curious connection.

It was almost,

And it felt very kismet.

You know,

If you've ever read my book,

Tontric Intimacy,

He's most of the stories in there.

Because it was like two universes colliding.

There was just something about our energy that was kind of off the charts,

To the point that I could,

You know,

Message him and say,

Are you okay?

Like are you?

Like what's going on with you?

We could lie in bed at night,

And I could feel something,

And all of a sudden,

I'd be able to smell his breath.

And if I relaxed my eyes,

He would be lying there.

And I could see him.

And we could actually touch each other.

And the next day,

We could actually repeat,

Like we could tell each other what happened.

And we both had had the same experiences.

So then 10 years later,

To have watched Sense8,

Where this is exactly what was happening,

Is they were able to touch each other across the world in this connected state.

I don't think it's fiction.

I think it's very,

Very real.

And this is where it's so interesting and important that as an empath,

We don't shut down.

We don't let whatever it is out there,

Make us hide and try to not feel it,

That somehow we figure out how to thrive in this way.

Because we're capable of this.

Can you imagine how beautifully connected we would feel in all of our lives if we could simply close our eyes and connect with all of our soul friends around the world?

Right?

Like they're everything in Sense8.

I've experienced,

I'm sure lots of you guys have experienced some or all of it.

So what does it take to stay open that way?

What does it take to honor our empathic connection with people around the world?

That's to me the only question.

And when there are things in our lives that shut us down,

We look at them seriously.

And we're never a victim of it.

We're never at the whim of the world that we can sort this out.

This empathy is stronger.

It's stronger than the mind and it's stronger than the fears.

It's stronger than all of those things.

So what do we do?

How do we do it?

How do we go from this place and actually stay sane?

How do we know that we are now connected great to like a billion people or hundreds of people or 10 people around the world?

How do I stay sane?

And one of the number one ways is to actually literally ground in your incarnation to be really,

Really,

Really clear that we're all unique.

That I don't have to become you.

I don't have to even understand you.

I don't have to be able to connect with everybody.

I don't have to be able to understand everything.

I am me.

I have a very particular third chakra wiring that defines who I am and what I love and what I need to know for this journey.

And I need to ground in that.

Like if you imagine you're grounding your first chakra.

This is your incarnation on the planet as you were created in this society,

In this family,

In this body,

In this world,

In this mind,

In this set of hopes and beliefs and preferences.

That's what we have to be clear about.

Right?

This is this sat,

Satya.

We must know what our truth is.

Who am I within the collective?

And when I can stay clear in myself,

It doesn't matter how many people in the world I resonate with because I still know that they're separate.

Because there's a real danger sometimes that we feel the emotion and we actually take it on ourselves.

We take it into our system and we feel like,

Well,

If I can feel these emotions for them,

Maybe it alleviates it and it doesn't.

So the number one thing we want to do is just be really clear with who we are and really walk our path.

It's very easy to get caught up in other people's paths too.

Right?

That I'm really feeling this so I'm going to focus on you and I'm going to try to help you and I'm going to really,

You know,

Just all my energy is going to be focused on you.

But then we get very confused.

Then all of a sudden I'm feeling this and I'm feeling that and I'm feeling this and I'm feeling that and I become completely disconnected and scattered.

But when I really focus on my incarnation,

I get to do what I'm doing.

And the cool thing is,

Like even this connection thing,

Like one of the things that they showed in Sense8 is not only could they feel each other but they could use each other's kind of superpowers.

Like they weren't really superpowers.

But you know,

One woman in Japan,

No,

Or was she in Korea?

I can't remember.

I think she was in Korea.

And she was a master martial artist.

Right?

And then the guy in Africa,

He was getting beat up by these guys and suddenly he was channeling the woman in Korea her martial arts skills.

And he's just like taking them all out and they're calling him Jean-Claude Van Damme and you know all this cool stuff.

What if that's possible?

Like what if we get to that resonance with other people actually allows us to use that in a really positive way.

Like you know,

Maybe we're doing something like,

Wow,

I didn't even know I was good at this.

But I seem to be really good at it.

Well,

What if it's not you that's good at it?

How cool is that?

Like there's so many bonuses here.

Like to be empathically connected to amazing people around the world.

Like how exciting is it?

And it just expands our whole world out beyond not only ourselves,

But our first circle of people.

Right?

It's really easy to feel lost if the only people we interact with are blood relatives or the people that live close to us.

But to be able to connect around the world in a very real way.

Like how exciting is that?

All right,

I'm going to put my glasses on.

If you have any questions,

I would love to answer them.

People get scared by this connecting and knowing.

Some run if you share this.

I have had that happen once with one friend I was very deeply connected with.

She was very uncomfortable.

Like,

And it wasn't even anything direct.

It was actually that I would post things on Instagram.

And she'd say,

Literally,

Are you reading my mind?

Like I was actually thinking those exact thoughts this morning.

And then two days later,

I would post something else and she said,

Katrina,

Like quit it.

And she actually felt like it was an imposition.

Like I was sitting there tapping into her and then repeating it.

And but the curious thing is,

Maybe I was,

I don't know.

But have you ever found that it's not even just two people?

Like there could have been 1000 people that said,

My God,

This is exactly what I was thinking about this morning.

Like,

Where do these thoughts come from?

You know,

Are we all just being affected by the movement of the planets and the galaxy?

Are we all shifting together?

Are we all feeling similar things?

One person writes it down,

But everyone's feeling it.

I don't know.

It was very interesting because,

You know,

When I would make these posts,

I wasn't thinking about her.

I thought they were my thoughts.

Maybe she was thinking,

But again,

This weird ownership of thought,

Like it was my thought,

Her thought,

My emotion,

Her emotion.

What if it's just a feeling?

A thought that I happen to feel or you happen to feel like what if?

What if it's not personal?

What if we don't have to own it?

I don't think people in general are aware of this energy around family and friends.

I feel like I see so much more than others see.

Oh,

Yeah.

So I love people.

I love connecting and I love chit chatting and I love hanging out and I love doing all this stuff.

I find life a very exciting exploration.

But out in the world,

I don't feel like I'm part of the collective.

And I don't mean that in a conceited way.

I mean I've always felt a little outside.

And maybe out of 50 people,

Even when I was a child,

Out of 50 people,

There might be one person I resonated with.

And I've realized that over time,

That is my norm.

That I actually don't expect to be able to connect with most people.

And so if you were to take the 50 people to one ratio,

Maybe most family and friends fit into that 50 group that you don't connect with.

But then every so often,

There's one.

Or there's one person in the family you connect with.

You know,

I really realized lately that that has been my norm my whole life and it doesn't depress me.

I just sort of feel like I walk through the world and certain people light up and I'm meant to connect with that person.

And everyone else,

They're just sort of extras in a movie.

There's nothing wrong with them.

They're significant to someone else.

But they're just not part of my story.

And so I actually very seldom reveal my whole being to most people,

Right?

Because they're not part of my story.

So I don't have a lot of,

You know,

Even in family and stuff,

You know,

When I was married,

Whether it was in-laws or just they might have just thought I was a very boring,

Strange woman,

You know,

Who just didn't talk about the same things they talked about,

But they certainly didn't know anything about me.

You know,

I remember I used to have a dance studio in 2006.

I opened a dance studio with a man who was a great dancer.

And my in-laws,

They knew I had a dance studio,

But they kind of just I was just sort of relegated to well,

Who knows what Kat's doing now,

Right?

They called me Kat.

And I remember one time they came to pick up their niece or their granddaughter at the dance studio.

And so they had to wait a minute because I was doing a choreography with someone.

And they stood there and they watched for a while.

And then when we were finished,

I walked out and they looked at me,

They said,

Wow,

You can really dance.

It was so funny that,

You know,

That this was a shocker that I could dance.

Even though I owned a dance studio.

Like,

It's a curious thing when you're sort of a little bit of an outsider,

That you're actually unfathomable to other people.

Right?

That they didn't even something as simple as I'll bet she can really dance,

Never crossed their mind.

Right?

So it's just it's a very interesting thing to embrace being different.

And I don't walk around,

You know,

Flailing my difference,

But either that's not it.

I just,

I just am different.

And I just see the world differently.

I pick up things that are different.

And but it's been like that my whole life.

I've never fit in.

So yeah.

When do you reveal this connection ability in dating?

For me,

It's not that I reveal it.

I just see if they're connected to.

Right?

I only want to play with people who are like me.

So it's when I sense that they too,

Are connecting,

They too are feeling through their heart that they're not just in their head.

And,

You know,

It's not really that I'm revealing myself.

I'm watching to see if that's how they navigate.

So it's a little different.

People will form a totally unrelated conception that hardly seems like it.

I know,

Right?

It's wild.

It's just,

Or they'll pick one funny thing.

Just one thing.

Like,

You know,

Years ago,

My husband and I went on a naked cruise.

And I blogged about it because I actually really deeply believe in naturism.

I believe that being able to be naked is extremely healing.

And the fact that we're afraid to be naked is a common a culmination of a lot of our dysfunction as a society.

So I was really happy to blog about that I that we were on this,

This naked cruise in the Caribbean.

Well,

I'll tell you for a bunch of people who I was always a little bit different,

You know,

She's that one that owns the train station and she teaches meditation and,

And,

You know,

They chant and who knows what they do.

And she's a nudist.

And I used to run barefoot.

When I was when I was a runner,

I would run barefoot and I would teach workshops about how to run barefoot.

So I'm that weird one that runs barefoot.

And I mean,

It was wild.

I used to run in 5Ks.

And I'd be running along.

And people would the crowd would hush as I would run by.

And I'd hear them.

She doesn't have any shoes on.

She doesn't have any shoes.

It was like I was naked.

Just running without shoes.

So who knows what what people think,

Right?

I can feel so lonely to be misunderstood by those around me.

Knowing my tribe is out there is so heartening.

The question is how to find them and how to stay connected.

So many of the connections are fleeting.

What if what if we stay more connected with our tribe when we really follow our truth?

Right?

That we really dive into our soul's journey.

That our lives are not consumed with what we do to pay our bills or the drama in our blood,

Family or,

You know,

We can spend so much time and effort.

So distracted by nothing.

Distracted by so much drama in the world.

So much social media,

So much Netflix,

So much whatever.

It's like,

We really have to figure out.

Really what thrills me?

Like what thrills me?

It's almost like we have to charge our own magnetism.

We have to charge up our own field so that we just keep connected and we keep connecting and we are so literally attractive and attracting and attracted to.

Like it's almost like this world of whether because we've had so many difficult millennia behind us,

We seek comfort more than we seek excitement.

And I don't mean,

You know,

Crazy excitement.

I just mean soul excitement.

That oh I'm just tired at the end of the day.

I just rather just relax.

I don't want to.

It's like yeah but there's stuff,

Right?

We could be doing stuff and being excited and growing and expanding.

Like it's almost like we're we've been trained to just work hard for the machine and then rest at night.

And then even if we find our tribe,

We don't stay animated and we don't stay learning and we don't stay excited.

You know?

There's just something about a new way of staying alive that I wonder if that keeps the tribe active and connected.

We wonder what will come next.

Honestly that to me is the most exciting way to actually live is just to sit in this place of wonder and you're just like oh what now and what now?

You know and what if soul groups shift?

What if it's not like okay I found these four people and I've got to hold on to them for dear life?

What if there's thousands of people we're going to move through?

What if you have epic experiences with these people and then that shifts and changes us and then we move on to something else and that shifts and changes us and we just keep expanding.

Oh what's that line by?

Oh there's a great quote.

Oh I really want to find it.

Rainer Maria Rilke.

I live my life in ever widening circles each superseding all the previous ones.

There's just so I just ever expanding right?

Like there's there's no need to ever stop.

It's so fun.

It's just so much fun.

Thank you guys so much.

It's it's been great.

We'll see you guys later.