Thriving As An Empath 2: What About The Lies We Can Hear?

One of the challenges of being an empath is that we can feel the dissonance between what is being said by others and the truth that we can feel. How do we communicate this way? How do we navigate a world where truth isn't the way? Let's explore how to share truth gently & truly thrive as an empath.

Transcript

So today we're doing part two of our Thriving as an Empath series.

And this is a nine-part series.

And if you haven't watched the first one,

It's all good.

You can jump in any time.

This is a topic that's really dear to my heart because I believe that we're coming into a time where we actually are going to start connecting with people in a very real way.

We aren't going to just sort of be side by side,

Banging into each other,

Reacting to each other.

We're actually going to connect.

I believe that all humans are designed to be empathic,

Which means that we actually communicate through our emotional bodies,

Which are linked in with our psychic bodies and our subtle bodies,

Which allows us to communicate telepathically and all that kind of thing.

But it's all rooted even if we can get the emotional body clear.

Everything else will just flow easily through it.

But one of the biggest problems with being empathic in the world the way it is right now is that the world is based in lies.

Like we're actually trained to lie.

We're trained to keep the peace.

We're trained to pretend we like something when we don't.

We're trained to not like something when we really don't have any reason not to,

Like in the case of,

Say,

Racism or something like that.

But it's said to us so often,

And it's so when it's everywhere,

It's just everywhere,

You almost don't imagine there's an alternative.

So this is the topic of today is how do you navigate in a world where because you are empathic,

Because a lot of people,

Their empathy has been sharpened for some reason,

That's been honed in a way that maybe others,

The empathy still has to sleep because we're wrestling with other things.

But with many people as the ability to be empathic rises,

This world becomes really hard to navigate because everybody's lying.

It is very uncommon to meet someone who always tells the truth.

And it could be something as simple as do you want to go to this thing on Saturday night?

A lot of people will read you and kind of sure,

Yeah,

That's a great idea,

Especially if you're a people pleaser.

It's an uncommon script to say something like,

I'm not sure how I'm going to feel that day.

It's not even necessarily accepted.

Depending on the place we were raised,

We might be told that,

No,

Now come on,

It's granny's 80th birthday.

You have to go.

Not only do you have to go,

You have to want to go.

And then you have to go away and you have to tell yourself all the reasons you want to go.

Like you're literally training yourself to lie to yourself so you can embrace a reality that is not reality.

But it's granny's birthday,

That's different.

Why?

Still lying.

It's like,

Remember that,

I don't know if you've ever seen it,

But there was a t-shirt once that it said,

Sorry,

I'm late,

I didn't want to come.

This would be the ideal t-shirt for people who can't help or are still locked in that old training that we have to pretend we want to go to things because it's the understood expectation of the clan.

This is what you have to want to do.

Because not this is what you want to do,

You have to do it.

You have to want to do it.

You have to change your inner truth to make everybody happy.

Well,

You should want to do it.

What's wrong with you?

Do you not like people?

Are you some kind of weird introvert?

Are you something like what,

You know,

You know what I mean?

Like we're actually bullied into lying.

And this is a real challenge.

So,

As you walk through life,

There's many ways that we communicate with each other as humans.

We communicate verbally,

Obviously.

We communicate emotionally.

Again,

Telepathy and stuff is sort of mixed in with that,

But on the surface,

Let's talk about emotion.

We can communicate physically.

We can have a certain stance.

We can even flail around if we're angry and make ourselves bigger,

You know,

To scare you into something.

But we can lie verbally and we can lie physically.

Emotionally,

You might actually be feeling real pain in someone and real fear.

But physically,

They're going to,

Or maybe emotionally or verbally,

They're going to attack you and they're going to make themselves big,

Which is all a lie.

It's all just a show because the truth is they're actually afraid.

This is really hard to navigate,

Especially if you're sensitive,

Especially if you're mostly attuned to their emotions.

So,

Now you have this frightened person pretending they're angry and righteous and getting really big physically.

That's not their truth.

The truth is they want to slink into the corner.

Maybe they want to lick wounds from their childhood.

Maybe that's what they really need to do.

This is really confusing.

How do you communicate with someone who's so disconnected from their own truth?

Like you can't respond to the anger.

You can't respond to the big show physically when you know your heart's kind of breaking for them.

And the hard thing is it gets very confusing in our minds.

This gets really confusing.

And it almost makes us calm down because we know they're actually frightened and maybe we won't fight back.

Maybe it allows us to end up in situations where we shouldn't be because as big and as strong and as abusive they might be,

Our heart can feel the broken person inside of them and we may not fight back the way we should.

And I mean fight back.

I don't mean be a pacifist.

I mean sometimes if there's abuse on the line,

Physical,

Emotional,

Mental abuse,

Fighting back is the only answer to get yourself safe.

So,

Now imagine you grew up in a home where the truth is seldom spoken.

People are maybe keeping the peace.

Maybe there's one person that's a big personality that's a challenge.

Maybe there's alcohol.

Maybe there's abuse.

Maybe there's power and control and dysfunction there.

Maybe another of the partner of your parent is keeping the peace and just never really saying their truth and pretending this is okay and lying.

And maybe out of generations of training that this is how you survive.

Not only this is how you survive,

This is an altruistic stance.

This is the right way to be.

This is the kind way.

This is the most righteous,

The most spiritually conscious way is to kind of just clean up the alcoholics mess.

Don't,

You know,

Just everyone just,

It's okay,

It's okay.

It's not okay.

But we're trained to pretend it is.

We're trained,

Again,

Out of centuries of requirement.

You know,

100 years ago,

That partner couldn't leave.

They had to find the silver lining.

They had to lie to themselves.

They had to tell themselves it was okay.

It was a self-preservation mechanism.

It's not evil.

It's not a lack of character.

It's not a lack of conviction or power.

It's good training.

It's survival training from generations of people.

So now,

Imagine you're a child in this home and the lying could be anything.

It could be belief in a certain system.

It could be belief in political system.

It could be belief in a religious system.

It could be belief about the world in general.

Maybe they're true,

Maybe they're not true.

Maybe the people who are sharing them don't even know if they're true because they learned it from their parents.

But the hard thing is,

Is we talk a lot about satya,

This deep,

Deep truth.

Well,

How do we feel that deep truth?

It's not an intellectual process.

It's something that simply lands inside of us that we go,

Yes,

This is truth.

If you're surrounded by kind of half-truths and twisted ideas and all this,

You sit there and you kind of start to think you're going crazy because you can't connect with anything that's being talked about.

And then these people have friends and family and they're all talking about it.

And they all seem to think it's really interesting and they're building upon the stories and they're making life decisions based on it and they're judging other people based on this and you're sitting there going,

Why don't I get anything that anyone's talking about?

And then we start to think,

Well,

It must just be me.

Maybe I'm weird,

Maybe I'm different,

Maybe I'm messed up,

Maybe I can't think straight,

Maybe I'm not very intelligent,

Maybe that's the problem,

Maybe I'm not smart enough to understand what the people are talking about.

And we start to have all of this self-worth stuff and you know,

Well,

I'm just different and I'm an outsider and I'm this.

It's not that.

The people that you're interacting with might be really nice people but what they're saying simply isn't truth.

And they don't even necessarily know it's not truth.

This is one of the great challenges is as a society in general and there's always exceptions to this.

So I'm just going to talk in a big generalization just for fun.

In general,

We are taught to be pathological liars.

And when someone's a pathological liar,

What that means,

It doesn't mean they're evil,

It doesn't mean they're manipulative,

It doesn't mean anything like that.

But it means that we are lying and we don't even know we're doing it.

That's what it means.

When I was a teenager,

I spent about two years being a pathological liar because I felt like I was boring.

I felt like I was this little boring library girl guide nerd and I didn't want to be that.

And I really wanted to be cool.

I wanted to be popular.

I wanted to be accepted.

And I realized one day I was sitting with a bunch of friends.

I'll never forget.

I was sitting with a bunch of friends and I realized I had gone away for the weekend.

My family had a cottage up north of Toronto and we would go away for the whole summer because my parents were teachers,

So they had the summer off.

And I did have all kinds of adventures there.

I mean,

I was maybe 12 or 13 and sometimes you'd meet boys and sometimes you'd kiss boys.

And back in the day when we talked about going around the bases,

A concept that has now been destroyed through young teenagers watching porn.

There's no such thing as going around the bases.

But this is a classic thing to lie about in the late 70s,

Early 80s,

How far you went with summer.

So,

Of course,

I would go back to school in the fall and I would say,

Oh,

I met this boy.

And like,

What?

Oh,

My God,

What happened?

What happened?

And I'd tell the story as it actually happened and it was kind of like,

Oh,

Well,

Yeah,

Who hasn't done that?

And then one day something happened inside of me and I thought,

They'd never know.

They'd never know whether or not this was true or not.

So I added a little something something to the story and then suddenly,

Oh,

No.

And I was the popular one.

I was the one with the great stories.

I was more experienced than the others.

Of course,

We're just like young teens,

Right?

But something in me was like,

Wow,

That was cool.

Then I realized that I could kind of embellish any story no one would ever know.

And what happened is I started getting into the habit of it to the point that I stopped realizing I was doing it.

It was almost like every story in the world,

Everything that happened to me was just the foundation for a much better story that I could tell.

Like I had actually morphed storytelling.

And of course,

You guys know I love telling stories,

Right?

So this was always in there.

But my life wasn't,

I guess,

Interesting enough that I thought anyone wanted to hear my stories.

And this went on for a while.

Like I completely and of course,

I mean,

It's young teens and I had all kinds of self-worth issues and a million issues there too,

Right?

And then one day,

I got caught in the lie.

Whoever it was that I had told the lie about,

For some reason,

One of my friends ended up meeting up with them.

And they said,

That's not true.

And then what really happened was two years of horrid bullying of me.

To the point that I had to hide in the library.

It was because I'm actually very shy.

As much as I might be teaching,

I'm actually very shy.

And my little 13,

14 year old self died.

And I would just hide from them because they would yell at me,

You're just a little liar and you're just a little geek and you're just ends of the 80s,

Right?

So it's all nerd this and dork this and brown noser this and oh,

So anyway,

That broke me out of my pathological line stage.

But then the wild thing is,

I had to actively learn to tell the truth again.

It's like I had to accept my reality for what it was and I had to discipline myself to only tell exactly the truth.

And it was hard.

After you've been lying for a long time,

It is so hard to tell the truth.

And that's kind of just a teenage version of this,

But this is just my story.

But the crazy thing is,

This is a lot of our training.

Then it can start at home,

Where you want to make your parents happy.

And maybe your parents want you to really want to be in sports.

You don't really want to be in sports,

But you can see how happy it makes them or maybe they just make you do it.

So you kind of start telling yourself that no,

No,

I like sports and this is a thing.

And you know,

And you really tell them,

Oh yeah,

I love hockey or I love soccer,

I love whatever.

And we're taught that when we lie,

Other people smile.

And when we lie,

They love us.

We say something that makes them happy.

And then we go to school and we're taught to sit still when all we want to do is go and run.

We're taught to listen when we're not even remotely interested in it.

And you're not allowed to sleep and you're not allowed to doodle and you're not allowed to look out the window.

You actually have to learn.

You have to learn how to lie.

You have to learn how to look straight and pretend you're interested in what's going on.

This is like whole body lying.

You're being trained how to position yourself outside your truth.

And this is very subtle.

And then imagine we go on and you maybe have a relationship with someone and you don't want to hurt their feelings.

And maybe you're having sex and maybe it's not really that great,

But you kind of learn that if you just make a few sounds,

They get pretty happy or maybe you don't really want to do this,

You don't want to do that.

The lying just becomes part of our life.

And are we being manipulative?

Like,

I'm not even talking about manipulative lying.

I'm just talking about normal existence.

Just and we're actually taught that this is keeping the peace.

This is being nice to people.

Doing things that you don't want to do is being nice to people.

But what if the truth was but I don't want to do it?

Well,

Who else is going to do it then?

Well,

I don't know,

But I don't think it's meant to be me.

We're not taught this.

So,

This is a really big deal.

Because the secondary part of this is not only are we lying to other people,

We're lying to ourselves too.

We're lying to ourselves in crazy ways.

Here's my truth.

Here's the truth everybody wants it to be or here's the truth that's acceptable or here's the truth that makes me look successful or here's the truth that I think other people will respect me for.

And it's almost like I know inside of me it was like there was a point in I think my teenage years probably when I was trying to develop who I was and a lot of you guys have seen the energy grids that I do and the energy grids kind of chart how you're wired through your chakras.

And some of us have no planets in our third chakra.

Some have lots and have no idea about this nonsense about not knowing who you are.

But for anyone who has always struggled with who we are what we do is we develop a persona.

We develop an ideal self.

We say okay,

Well,

I'd like to be someone who is seen as intelligent,

Responsible,

Witty,

Sexy,

Fun.

Here are all the things that I want my persona to be and then we live up to it.

But this has nothing to do with our truth.

And the problem is even if someone asked your truth you're going to have to actually go through the persona's filter first.

It's like oh,

Yeah,

I really want you to think I'm fun.

So the proper answer is yes,

I do want to do that because the persona I've created that I believe will give me a happy life would say yes.

I didn't even check in with me.

I don't even know what Katrina wanted at that moment because the persona I believed was so important to be functional in society.

When we are accustomed to lying to ourselves it's the double whammy,

Right?

And again,

We're taught to do this.

Just suck it up,

Sort it out,

Come back when you're feeling better,

Get rid of all these nonsense emotions,

You're being oversensitive,

You shouldn't be upset by that.

Oh,

You should be over that by now.

You should be angry about that.

You should care about this.

You should retort all these shoulds how we're supposed to be and a lot of them stick.

And it is a crazy day when we all of a sudden start connecting with my real self and you start to realize that wow,

I don't want to do that at all and I don't even like hanging around with you and I've never liked to do that.

And it's so strange because we've built up these beliefs that if I don't like that,

People aren't going to like me or if I don't like doing that,

I'm just some weird social recluse or something.

Like we have all these philosophies built on all of these lies we tell ourselves.

So we're actually quite afraid to give up the lies because if I'm just me,

Am I even interesting?

Without all the drama?

Without all the passion and what I want you to think of me?

Like it's almost like when we get under all of it,

There's this stillness that's really uncomfortable because it's almost like we've all been raised with Hollywood and it's like we've all created these Hollywood personas that we want to live up to and it can be anything.

It can be good being a good daughter or a good son to our parents.

It can be being the perfect parent.

It can be being the fun friend in the group.

It can be being a teacher or an enlightened person or someone who's important in society or a business owner.

But what if you don't want to be that anymore?

What if you never wanted to be that?

What if it's nonsense to think we even are any of those things?

What if we're just Sally?

What if we're just Katrina?

What if we're just John?

What if we're just me?

Just a soul wandering around,

Making choices,

Responding to events,

Yes,

No,

Left,

Right.

What if there's no persona?

Osho used to say that a great practice was to release your character.

Imagine having no character and just being you.

And this is fascinating because on the one hand,

We have the character that we tell ourselves that we are and we want to be.

And not only do I want to be it,

I want to make sure you think I'm that.

So I'm going to tell stories,

I'm going to dress a certain way,

I'm going to act a certain way so that you also believe the lie that I'm telling myself.

But our persona also is very,

Very,

Very commonly a reaction to a life lived.

In our chakras series,

We talk about how we have these perfect chakras inside of us,

This perfect divine energy that we really are.

Then we have this crazy world that we're all like living in,

Which I love,

But I'm not pretending it's easy.

That's the key,

Right?

World's crazy,

Just crazy.

But I really like being alive here,

Right?

So the world's crazy.

So then we develop this interface almost like this raincoat between this beautiful divinity and this crazy world.

And when we are raised in difficult home or a difficult society or a difficult religion or difficult,

There can be tension about all kinds of things,

Whether it's racism or homophobia or even crazy things like the concept of royalty.

The concept of royalty,

And I'm not talking about the queen or anything like that.

The idea that some people are more important than other people,

That movie stars are more important than the people that watch the movies,

That rich people are more important than poor people,

That people with education are more important than people who aren't.

This idea of royalty is one of the greatest lies that we integrate into who we are on either side.

Maybe we're that rich person and we think we're all that and a bag of chips,

And those people over there,

Well,

They obviously just don't work hard enough.

Or maybe we're the ones that are just like,

Oh my God,

We're starstruck because we see some movie star.

And it's like,

Honestly,

If you ever got to know them,

It would be shocking how incredibly human they are.

There's no such thing as royalty.

Nobody's better than anybody else.

And when we have internalized this idea,

This causes a lot of crazy in the world.

So let's say,

For example,

We have this interface and even that idea that some people are better than other people,

Part of our character might actually be in reaction to that idea.

Maybe I was raised poor and so part of my character is making sure you never know it.

Or maybe part of my character is hating rich people.

Or maybe,

You know what I mean,

Like part of my character is I'm a social climber because I want to make sure I'm one of the important ones.

Part of our character is that.

So it is such an interesting discipline and by discipline I mean study,

I mean journey,

Adventure,

Expansion.

It is such an interesting discipline to try to live a day without character.

And all it means is every decision you make is going to be from your soul.

Not from this incarnate personality,

This particular DNA sequence that we're playing out,

But from my eternal soul.

What am I called to do?

What am I not called to do?

Like to actually live from that deep truth inside as opposed to whatever this character is.

This is a very,

Very interesting thing and it's important because it helps us reconnect with our own truth.

And the crazy thing is once we start to do this personally,

Once we really start to go inside and identify the falsehoods that we've internalized and the actual truth inside of us,

Not only is our life infinitely happier after that,

But we also have a lot of compassion for others who also haven't seen the difference between the falsehoods that they are living according to and the truth of who they really are.

So part of what I want to talk about is how do we negotiate,

How do we navigate this world when we feel a certain truth in the moment and other people aren't really reflecting that.

I remember the first time I ever met Jim,

My teacher,

Who I've talked about if you're new,

1999,

I had breast cancer.

It's the topic of my book,

What If You Could Skip The Cancer?

And a teacher appeared in my life as they do.

The wild thing about this man is I remember sitting and talking to him.

It's so funny,

Right?

When I think back to when this was,

Because this was over 20 years ago and I was 29 when I met him,

Maybe 28 when I met him and 29 when I was sick.

He was like in his early 40s.

He was some old guy.

He was just,

He was in his,

I think he was 44 when I first met him because I remember talking to him and asking him how old he was because the wisdom in him was so blowing my mind.

I was actually expecting him to say like 500 or something.

But what I remember the most was sitting and talking to someone who only told the truth.

There was not a single platitude,

Politeness.

There was nothing,

He wasn't repeating something he read.

He wasn't repeating something he heard from his parents.

He wasn't repeating something that he heard from society,

The church or anything else.

And I wasn't interpreting this way at the time.

I just remember sitting there and listening to him and every single word he said dropped his truth inside of me.

It was all in alignment.

I didn't have a single bit of resistance on the line.

There was no static.

It was just truth.

And I'll never forget it.

I just remember sitting there listening going,

Wow,

I didn't know this was possible.

And the crazy thing is at the time,

The only language I had because I was 29.

The only language I had at the time was this is the first man or the first person I've ever trusted.

And it was so curious because that's the only language I had.

But this is part of the problem because one of the challenges we have when we're in empath and we live in this world and regardless of even our upbringing,

You could still have the greatest people in the world grazing you and then you go out into the world and you're sort of faced with all this falsehood and advertising and telling you that unless you're skinny,

You suck and unless you look like you're 18,

You suck.

And if you don't do this,

You're going to be alone the rest of your life.

And guess what else?

And I told some of you guys that when I went back to university after breast lumps,

I had a miraculous healing and the people started coming to me for help.

And I only had a degree in mathematics.

So I thought this was 10 years after I graduated.

So I thought,

You know what?

I'll go back to school and study psychology,

Maybe get a degree in psychology and then at least I feel like I'm qualified to help people.

One of the things I learned was that 70% of all psychological experiments were done by marketing agencies.

So the goal of advertising is actually to hack your frontal cortex,

Get in there and disconnect you from your truth.

You might be perfectly happy,

But how can we convince you that you're not so that you'll buy my product?

How can I convince you that you don't really have everything you need,

You actually need this too?

This is creepy,

But this is the advertising world.

Even like I teach online,

I've had an online business for a long time now.

And the training out there is like if you want to advertise,

You go for the pain points.

That's how you're going to hook people.

What?

How about you just honestly offer what you're teaching and let people resonate with it or not,

But that's not how it goes.

And so one of the challenges,

One of the great challenges of being an empath,

Which I can literally say being a human,

Is that we don't trust anybody.

Because when we're with people and it could start out as parents,

It could be friends,

It could be friends' parents,

It could be teachers,

It could be anyone,

But they're saying one thing out of their mouth,

But you are receiving an entirely different message energetically.

You're receiving a totally different message emotionally,

Telepathically,

Through the aura,

Everything,

But they're saying this.

So now imagine this as a child.

You've just landed on Earth.

You have just emerged from the sacred womb of life onto this planet,

And you're like,

Whoa,

What's this place all about?

And all you learn is people feel a certain way,

But they will say something different.

They will act differently than what you perceive as truth.

So at a very young age,

We're taught to not trust people.

We may not have these words,

But deep down we know,

Always have a filter out because what they're saying is not true.

It's almost like we learn at a young age that humans don't know how to tell the truth.

They're so deeply lying to themselves.

They're so deeply wanting you to believe something about them.

And sometimes this is very innocent.

Like I've told this story too that,

You know,

Part of my journey when I had the breast lumps was learning to express my emotion,

Which was learning to be honest,

Learning to honor the truth inside of me,

Learning to not lie to myself and start being honest.

Well,

I wasn't lying to people to manipulate them or to get my own way or to even maintain a persona.

I genuinely didn't want to lay my issues on people.

If I was sad,

I didn't want you to have to pay for that.

That's how I saw it,

Right?

That you were paying for that.

And especially when my children were little and when I was sick,

My kids were what,

Two and four.

They were little.

So if I'm having a bad day,

They don't need to know about it.

Literally,

Like I'm not going to,

My kids are kids.

They need me to be the mom.

They need me to be the one in charge.

They need me to be the solid container for their growth.

So it doesn't matter what's going on in my life.

The creepy thing is that when I was doing this,

When I had this double life that I was living,

That my inner self was dying a thousand deaths of despair and sadness.

But I got this great big smile and I was like,

Mommy's fine.

Everything's fine.

Let's just go have a cookie.

If this is what I'm kind of projecting to them,

It was like they would go a little crazy and they'd just start pushing each other.

And then they'd pull the cat's tail and then they'd steal the other kid's toy.

And they would just bicker at each other.

This was the final moment with my children was one day they were,

I mean,

They're little,

Right?

And they're arguing about he touched me,

No,

She touched me first.

And all the stuff that little ones talk about.

I was losing my mind in life,

In general,

Breast lumps,

Dark nights of the soul,

Like the whole thing.

And I was walking up the stairs.

We had a farmhouse and I was walking the stairs with this bucket of laundry on my hip.

And I looked into my daughter's room and they're just like,

Dadadadadada,

Mom,

Mom,

Mom,

He's like,

No.

I'm like,

And I just put my back against the wall and I slunk down the wall and I just started crying.

And the kids,

It just like,

And they turned to me.

And Aaron,

My son,

He comes over to me and he looks at me and he says,

He puts his little hand on my shoulder,

He says,

Mommy,

What's wrong?

And I said,

I'm just so sad.

And then he puts his little back against the wall and he slides down the wall like I did and he said,

Yeah,

I get like that too.

And then my daughter came over and she crawled into my lap and I just sat there and cried.

And I realized that this doesn't burden them.

Like it's actually better to be honest and just say,

I'm just sad today.

It's almost like normalizing being true to self.

So anyway,

So it's really interesting because what happens is,

Like that's not even a manipulative trying to be something I'm not.

It's just I don't want to hurt you.

I don't want to burden you with my stuff.

So,

We're sort of surrounded by this.

It makes it very difficult to trust people.

If you meet someone you think,

Wow,

That's a really nice person but something doesn't feel right.

Like you can't quite trust them.

It's almost like there's so much buried inside of them.

You're almost a bit nervous because you just don't know if all of a sudden it's going to explode.

It's just going to,

You know,

And that's going to be the end of it.

When we start to really tune in with self and we really become clear with our own truth and our own falsehoods that we've been living according to,

When we talk to someone else it becomes easier to sort it out.

And not only do we,

It's not always about trusting them but we start to trust our own sense of truth.

We start to trust our own ability to read people.

And again,

I don't go around reading people.

That's not a thing.

That's the one thing about being an empath.

It's a really important skill to be able to pull in your antenna.

I don't in any way read people unless they ask or if I'm in intimate conversation with someone then I open up my heart.

But I don't go to the grocery store like reading people.

It's none of my business.

We're not evolved as a society enough yet to be that heart open.

That'll come maybe in time but now it's a good thing to have kind of Japanese privacy that we keep our eyes to ourself because people are really struggling and hurting,

Right?

So we have to be careful.

We have to use our gifts for good,

You know,

Not being,

Looking into people's lives who haven't asked us to.

But when we're really clear ourselves,

We trust that when we're having a conversation with someone that if they're kind of going offside,

You can feel it.

And you can kind of say,

Are you sure?

Are you sure that's true?

Are you sure that's how you feel?

Because again,

I'm not pretending that I know how you feel.

All I know is that doesn't quite feel right.

And in my world,

In my circle of friends and family and kids,

This is how we talk.

This is why I love to verbally process with my friends.

I'm not verbally processing with them so they can solve my problems.

But I can say something and even just their reaction to what I'm saying,

I can feel like what I'm saying isn't quite right.

Maybe it's partially right,

But there's a falsehood that's been woven in there somehow.

And together we sit there and kind of go,

What is the truth about that?

And we can kind of ponder it and say,

Was it this?

Is it this?

Oh,

This is it.

Yes,

Yes,

This is interesting.

So you can really play with it with kind of inner circle people or people you're close with.

And out in the world,

Sometimes you just realize that people just want to talk.

They just want to hear their story.

And sometimes I find if people are talking to me and they're telling you something and none of it's landing.

None of it.

I recently had conversations with people and they're telling me their plans about something.

Just none of it seems like it's real.

It's almost like they're just telling a story from a movie.

But I just listen because what do I know?

Maybe it's absolutely true.

But I don't get particularly invested in it and I have a hard time responding to it or actually really.

And then what will you think?

I can't I can't actually engage in it.

And eventually that topic just sort of dissipates.

And then we just sort of start talking about something else because I just I'm not capable of engaging with it because I can't feel it inside of me.

You know,

We don't have to call people out and say,

I'm intuitively reading that what you're saying is wrong.

Like we don't need to be like that because we're all just people.

Maybe I am.

Maybe I'm not reading them right.

Maybe I'm projecting my stuff on them.

Maybe what they're feeling I'm resonating with and it's throwing me off.

Like,

You know,

I don't pretend that unless I've been paid.

If someone hires me to say,

Katrina,

You know,

Tell me what you think.

That's a whole other thing.

But navigating the world when you feel truth from others and the world is made up of lies and falsehoods.

I believe this is shifting big time.

This is why the gurus have been teaching Satya and the honoring truth and meditation and going within and releasing all the baggage and the attachments and the things that keep us stuck in the lies.

That keep us stuck in these constructs that aren't true.

And then bit by bit,

Each of us just slowly releases them and we all act a little bit more in truth and a little bit more in truth.

And then being an empath becomes joyful.

Becomes lovely.

Because you just sort of wander around and,

You know,

You finish each other's sentences because the connection is so easily there.

You're kind of like,

Do you want to?

Yeah.

And then we can.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's a great idea.

Okay.

Yeah.

And you never even finished a sentence because you're just this whole communication is happening in the ethers.

This is what humans are capable of.

And we're moving that way.

But it's gentle and slow and we have millennia of difficulties to unpack inside of our psyche.

So.

How to pull in my antenna.

Honestly.

It's all about your intention.

You have to want to pull it in.

You have to want to not read other people.

And it's a challenge because sometimes it's like we're so used to it.

We're so.

For example,

If we were raised in a difficult home.

We are intrinsically trained to scan the crowd all the time.

It's like as a child,

You had to have your antenna up.

So like this all the time just to keep yourself safe.

You know,

I've told you guys what my friend that she says.

She was raised by assassins.

Not literally,

But emotionally.

So she was raised to keep her antenna up.

And it was quite a thing to learn slowly to say.

I'm not in danger here.

I can pull my antenna in.

And I am safe to walk without this antenna up.

So we really have to decide.

It's a big deal.

It makes dating difficult.

Yeah.

It also makes dating an interesting adventure.

Like I remember chatting with a guy once when I was dating in Toronto and.

And he was the most happy,

Positive guy.

And I said,

You know,

How are you finding dating?

And he says,

Oh,

It's fascinating.

I met an accountant last week and two weeks ago I sat with an author and now I've met you.

I mean,

I'm just meeting the most interesting people.

It's like you have the best attitude about dating I've ever met.

And it's so interesting to actually meet people and just first just go there.

Like,

Do you even like being around this person?

Like nothing deep,

Nothing interesting.

Like,

It's so weird.

You go on one date and suddenly people are asking you about your sexual fetishes and your desires for life or something.

And you're like,

Whoa.

I want to know what book you wrote.

I want to know,

You know,

What kind of ice cream you like to eat.

And then later we can slowly trust our our readout of people.

How do you protect yourself from others?

Projection,

Bad energy.

It's so easy to say to ourselves and truly know it's their stuff and not take it personally.

But as empaths,

It can still affect us.

How do we protect our aura and feel calm and a company?

Of others.

Chaos.

So I believe this is just how I see it.

I also believe that there are many,

Many,

Many kinds of empaths.

So this is only how I perceive it.

There's a time in our life where we really need that strong protective bubble that we learn when we start doing energy work and things like that.

But oftentimes we need the protective bubble because we have pain inside of us.

We have trauma that we haven't been able to heal yet.

But this is normal.

This isn't,

Again,

Like some weird character flaw.

Someone goes to war and they come back shell-shocked.

We don't look at them and go,

You haven't dealt with that yet.

But regardless,

Shell-shocked.

This person going out into the world,

Having a really strong bubble of protection around you while you heal.

Very important.

This is really,

Really important.

And this is where,

Because we're still healing,

We're really susceptible to the pain of other people.

We're really susceptible to their projections.

We're susceptible to their chaos because it's resonating with the very things that we're trying to heal.

It's almost like there's something deep inside of us that's got a certain vibration and it's hurting us.

It's something that happened when we were young.

It's something that happened last week.

It's something that happened and it's hurting us and we're trying to heal it.

Right.

We're trying to sort it and we're also trying to go to work and we're also trying to maintain our relationship and we're trying to be happy and maybe read that book we want to finish.

We're trying to actually live because we can't always be trying to heal this stuff inside of us.

And so then all of a sudden we come in contact with someone who's maybe dealing with the same thing,

But they're extroverting it out,

Maybe blaming you,

Judging that person,

But it's the same resonance.

So somehow that resonance gets pierced inside of us and it starts to kind of explode us from the inside.

This is very painful.

This is very hard.

But it's also part of our journey in the land of there's no mistakes.

And again,

That's a big dangerous topic to dive into.

But to know that when you go home and you go,

Wow,

That person drives me crazy first,

Maybe they're a jerk.

Always allow that.

Some people are just jerks.

I think it's wrong to assume that everyone has good intention.

And sometimes you go,

Wow,

Did that ever hit a chord inside of me?

And with our beautiful objective witness mind to look at ourselves and say,

What is that hitting inside of me?

This is helping me.

This is helping my healing journey.

So that I believe most of us are in that state where we're still sorting things out.

We're still maybe even a little unconscious of some of the traumas from our younger years or whatever.

We don't have the right container to even understand what's happened or maybe we're blaming ourselves or whatever.

Now imagine on the other end of the spectrum.

So again,

Jim,

My teacher,

He would teach that the goal in life is to be empathically like a flow through teabag.

That there is no bubble.

The goal in life is to be a flow through teabag.

We don't become a flow through teabag while we're still processing our own traumas and sorting ourselves out.

This is the goal as we heal,

As we come closer to our truth,

As we do this kind of thing.

The end goal is to be a flow through teabag.

And of course,

When we're a flow through teabag,

This means that we are really clear about ourselves.

We're really clear about our mission.

We're really clear in our third chakra.

And what that means when we have a healthy fire in our third chakra,

That means that anything that comes into us,

The words of people we love,

The news,

Movies we watched,

People in the grocery store,

Every single thing comes into us like prana.

It is processed through our third chakra,

Burned in this cauldron.

The nutrients are kept and the rest is discarded.

And when we have that strong,

Powerful center,

It doesn't matter what's around us.

Because we're so clear,

That's for me,

That's not for me.

This is for me,

That's not for me.

So this is just the goal.

And it's not something to say,

Okay,

I want to be that now.

It's like,

No,

If we're a broken leg,

Use crutches.

If energetically you're sorting yourself out,

Put up a bubble.

This is really responsible and important.

Like I remember even at the end of my journey with the breast lumps,

I had to send my kids to my dad's.

I couldn't actually care for them.

I had to actually create the quietest sanctuary for myself.

Because I couldn't be around anybody.

So I could kind of go into the darkest corner,

Right,

To really get to the bottom of whatever was there.

I couldn't be around anybody,

Not my family,

Not my friends,

Not anybody.

It's really important to honor wherever we are.

They're all interesting points,

Right?

How to speak our truths to those family members who are so used to and expecting our former lying selves.

So I believe,

What I experience in the world is that the consciousness is shifting.

It's almost like on some level we're all a little tired of the old way.

We're a little tired of the posturing and the nonsense and the arguing and the da da da da da.

And if we're just gently ourselves,

We're gently honest,

People will have a reaction to it.

But then that'll be their reaction.

And then maybe someone else in their life will also be honest and they'll have a reaction to that.

Maybe it has to happen five times before they in their own time and their own journey say,

Well,

If they don't feel obligated to do this thing,

Maybe I don't have to do it.

You might just be one voice of ten that finally has that other person give themselves the right to not lie anymore.

And what they do with it,

We can't do anything with anyway.

All we know is if I lie,

It hurts my soul.

Every time if I'm asked to,

I can't even do it.

Like if I'm asked to lie,

It literally,

It just about makes me gag.

That's where we want to be.

That the minute something's going to come out of our mouth that's not true,

That something kind of stops us and we say,

Wait a minute,

What's my truth here?

Everyone else in our life,

They're just part of our lives.

They're just,

They're kind of the other characters in our play and with kindness and love and all that kind of thing.

Right.

But it's a big deal.

Thank you so much for being here.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

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