Strengthening Our Inner Feminine

Our masculine and feminine energies must be in balance and connected within for us to thrive and be truly happy. However, sometimes life leaves us struggling with one side or the other or both. Let's explore what it means to deepen our feminine experience within and with others.

Transcript

So today we are continuing our series all about the divine union of the masculine and feminine.

It's all based in my new book that I'm super passionate about,

The Divine Union of the Masculine and Feminine.

Today we're talking about strengthening the feminine and this is probably one of the most important parts of the whole training because of course it's about the divine union of the masculine feminine and even though we may not fully understand what the healthy masculine is because we've sort of been in this disconnected paradigm,

This domination paradigm,

But we still have an idea what the masculine is.

We know that the masculine is manifesting,

We know that the masculine is doing,

We know that the masculine is pursuing or talking or creating all those kind of things.

We understand that we have to learn how to do it in connection with others and within ourselves but at least we understand the essence of what it is to quote be masculine.

But the feminine,

We actually have no idea what it is because of this curious energy or this curious zeitgeist,

This paradigm we've been living within,

The feminine just disappeared.

The feminine just became something that served the masculine which actually is a completely flipped energy pattern which is another big thing we need to shift in our minds to actually put these right.

Like for example if you look up the word effeminate in the dictionary because you might say to someone oh well he's very effeminate or she's very effeminate or all that kind of thing.

It actually doesn't have a definition of what that means.

It simply means not manly.

It's all just caught in gender stereotypes,

Has nothing to do with masculine and feminine but the word effeminate has no meaning except for not manly and in many ways deep in our hearts this is what we believe the feminine is.

That it's somehow just not masculine.

So for example like someone earlier said you know I'm too masculine,

I'm too much of a control freak,

I need to figure out the feminine but it's almost like we feel like okay that means I need to like lessen my masculine.

Like it's just like the the lack of control,

The lack of this.

You know what I mean?

So it's like all we really understand the feminine to be is what isn't masculine but then you look at what the feminine is and it's like but then what is it?

And the reality is that feminine energy is something unto itself.

It is something to cultivate.

It's something to cultivate within ourselves and from there it will just naturally happen out into the world but it all starts within us.

So for example one of the reasons that a lot of people want to cultivate the feminine is if you are someone who likes to be in the feminine in relationships and last week we talked about whether or not you like to be in the masculine or in the feminine in relationships.

All genders,

All orientations,

It's irrelevant but if you want to have a dynamic romantic relationship,

One has to dominantly be in the masculine,

One has to be in the feminine.

Not in all aspects of life,

Just in the erotic parts,

Just in the romance.

But if you are someone who likes to be in the feminine,

That's your deepest soul.

You know that I want to expand in the feminine,

That's what I desire.

Sometimes we want to study how to strengthen my feminine to attract a partner.

So suddenly again it's about the masculine.

I want to be the opposite so that I can get the partner.

That's not feminine.

That's just the lack of masculine.

All we're focusing on is but I need masculine so I need to do something.

It's all about the masculine and this is a huge challenge because that's not feminine.

So we're going to talk today,

We're going to talk about five different aspects of the feminine.

We're going to talk about mystery and mystery,

It's cohort.

So this is like mystery,

Chaos,

That kind of thing.

Of course it's masculine part is structure which we understand which is why when I went through university,

When I finished high school,

There were scholarship programs.

If women wanted to study the sciences,

If women want to study math because we want the math,

We want the sciences.

So we understand the structure but chaos isn't just lack of structure,

There's more to it.

So we're going to talk about that.

We're going to talk about the actual created manifest feminine and again these may not seem like what you imagine feminine to be but it'll all make sense because again feminine is a something.

It is not just sort of that willowy thing that serve has served the masculine for millennia.

It's actually a powerful entity,

It's a powerful thing.

We're going to talk about receiving,

We're going to talk about inspiration and listening and we're going to talk about what it is to be pursued and I don't just mean in relationships but that's probably the number one thing.

It was funny a friend of mine,

I was talking to her yesterday and she has a new partner and this guy is in his healthy masculine and he pursues and he makes plans and he shows up and he gives,

He is like in this utter healthy masculine and she said to me,

She said you know if something ever went wrong I don't think I could go back to the way I used to be in relationships.

Which is what?

Constantly pursuing the broken partner,

Constantly trying to lay out a golden road so that they feel comfortable you know in the relationship and all that and I said to her and it was ironic because we're doing this talk today and I said but it's not about them,

It's about you.

After having this experience you know what it is to be in the feminine and then you continue on in the feminine but you'll never chase anyone ever again.

You'll never put up with sort of bad behavior again because you are connected with this created manifest feminine and it's the most important thing and any healthy masculine will pursue you but you'll no longer ever go into that flipped polarity of trying to meet someone else's thing.

That's not the role if your desire is to be in the feminine.

That's what we're basically gonna we're gonna chat about and the other big thing I want to mention is I remember about a year ago actually it was in one of our talks here we were talking about the masculine and feminine and somebody asked how do you activate the feminine within?

Well the coolest thing about the feminine within is you don't activate it.

It's already there.

I'm going to actually read you a quote from Marianne Williamson.

She says feminine power isn't something we go out and acquire.

It's already within us.

It's something we become willing to experience.

Something to admit that we have and this is really important to understand that it's the masculine energy within us that we cultivate.

That we get out there in the world and we do things and maybe we light a fire or whatever.

The feminine is already in us.

The thing is after generations of living within this paradigm we have oppressed our own feminine.

We have.

We can say that our parents did it or the church did it or the schools did it or the governments did it which is also true but in the end it's us that internalized that control and oppressed it ourselves within us and I say that because we all know people who haven't oppressed it and they have all the same influences.

So that's why today we're predominantly going to talk about it within because as soon as we can just let go of those strongholds the feminine just flourishes.

It's like mother earth.

Mother earth is one of our greatest examples of the feminine.

If you put all kinds of structures over her to block out the light,

To not allow rain in,

To suppress the grass.

You know everyone wants to suppress the grass to whatever build a sidewalk or a garden so they put stuff on the grass and then the grass dies and the earth does whatever.

All we have to do is remove the covering and mother earth will flower again and that's the same with us.

That's the whole goal today.

This idea of strengthening the feminine is just letting her free.

So the first one and this is my favorite is mystery,

Chaos,

The unknown.

What does mystery feel like?

What does the unknown feel like?

Because of course in our society we've been taught to be afraid of the unknown.

Whatever you do try to make sure you know everything.

Make sure you get the A.

Make sure you know 100 percent and we bring that into our lives that I want to know well if I if I date this person I don't know what's going to happen.

If I move to this other country I don't know what's going to happen.

If I change jobs I don't know what's going to happen.

If I leave this relationship I don't know what's going to happen and we've been taught that that unknown is scary because again it's a nothing.

We've been taught that the feminine is a nothing.

So if I can't tell you exactly what is going to happen which is masculine it's scary.

It's dangerous.

Feminine is dangerous because you just feel like you've been thrown off a cliff.

Imagine instead that mystery and the unknown is a palpable potential.

When you really think of what we know in the world compared to what we don't know in the world most what is it what would it be 99.

999 percent of what goes on on this glorious planet is absolutely unknown to us and certainly not understood by us.

That is a pile of potential here on earth.

Can you feel the potential of mystery?

I almost see it like as this swirling mass of potential possibility.

This is chaos.

It's not destructive and evil and horrible and scary.

We've been taught that it's scary.

We've been taught to fear it but in your heart it's exciting to step into the unknown to step into the mystery of life and to trust the mystery of life.

What does that feel like to actually say wow I have no idea but what an adventure.

There are so many people who craft their life so that nothing will ever change.

They know exactly what tv show they watch every night.

They know exactly what food they're always going to eat.

Their cupboards always have the same food in them.

They talk to the same people.

They have the same conversations.

Nothing changes because we have been taught to crave structure that if we live with zero unknown we have reached pure comfort.

We can relax but of course what happens then?

Stagnation?

Death?

Like if we aren't actually connected to the chaos of the universe the mystery that is swirling inside of us are we even alive?

Are we even living?

I have this real passion right now for about immortality and it's it's been a low-lying passion for a while but it's rising up again right now.

Well the interesting thing about immortality is in a lot of Taoist understandings what they do is they cultivate energy inside kind of down near your dantian like just below the navel and what they do is they work with the energy to create a spiritual child within.

It's almost like it reminds me of energetic stem cells that inside you have this beautiful stem cell this child this energetic being that is growing and of course it's always growing.

It's always living from mystery of chaos.

This is immortality to live constantly awake constantly responding to the world around us.

So as we want to strengthen the feminine can I enjoy mystery?

How much chaos would I like and again not negative chaos not the chaos of a dysfunctional relationship or a job I hate or not knowing how to pay the bills.

That's not chaos that's just difficulty.

Chaos is unknown.

Chaos is I don't know why I feel drawn to do this but I'm going to do it and trust it anyway.

I know I don't know what's really going to happen this weekend and no even think of that you know I'm going away this weekend with my daughter.

In my mind my mind wants to go okay you know probably by 10 o'clock we'll do this and 11 we'll do this and the afternoon we'll do this and that and that's okay.

A little bit of structure a little bit of planning is healthy.

This isn't about throwing out the masculine because it's all about balance but sometimes we don't allow for the chaos of the feminine.

So instead imagine we're like no idea what's going to happen.

I guess we'll see.

Live life as it unfolds without any control.

That's fun but cultivating our connection and our trust in mystery is a huge deal and again it's in it's deeper than that.

It's deeper than just oh I don't like planning.

I like to be spontaneous.

I like to just flow with the wind.

It's not just that and this is where like feminine wisdom is deeper.

This is when you close your eyes and you feel deep into the earth and when I say feminine wisdom I mean all genders.

I mean each each of our feminine wisdom that we close our eyes we connect deep into the earth and we trust the mystery of the universe.

We trust the mystery of earth,

Of god,

Of consciousness,

Of the galaxy.

We're connected.

That's why we trust mystery because we feel the earth even though we can't explain it.

We know something.

See I can't actually even describe it because the true feminine is ineffable.

It is indescribable.

You just know it and that's when you stand in something and you stand in a truth and you just go it is just the way it is and you just stand in it.

That's the feminine.

There's nothing to fight about because you know it intrinsically and when you know it intrinsically it's like in the Blackfoot tradition.

They understand that matter is created by spirit and spirit is mystery,

Chaos which is why in their tradition they live in a state of constant renewal because they fully understand at a foundational level that life is chaos.

Actual life,

Actual reality is constantly changing.

It's constantly unknown.

This is reality and when we are connected to that perpetual shifting and changing what happens?

We're intuitive.

We find ground on the planet.

We listen but we assume change.

We assume mystery.

This is deep wisdom but it comes from trusting mystery and playing in it.

It's not just okay I trust it.

Okay good what's next?

It's like no no no no go out into life,

Listen within,

Follow your intuition,

Not know what's going to happen but you're listening to intuition.

It's not like a willy-nilly thing.

The feminine is very serious.

Like this is real.

This is not just some la la la.

It's real.

You listen to your intuition,

You trust it and you take that leap.

You take the leap of faith into pure mystery and you love the journey no matter what it is.

Whether it's hard and painful or whether it's epic and inspired it doesn't matter.

So the second aspect of the feminine that I want to talk about is the feminine is manifest reality.

In tantric teachings we began in oneness.

Shiva and Shakti in oneness.

This is the whole universe.

This is God,

Omnipotence,

All that stuff from all religions,

Oneness.

In order to create duality Shakti descended into the physical form and our life is a perpetual dance between Shakti and Shiva.

The feminine is Shakti.

The feminine is the manifest experience.

It is creation.

So what does that mean for us?

Accessing the feminine is accessing what is.

What is?

What is your truth right now?

Is it raining out or isn't it raining?

Do you want to do this thing or don't you?

How do you feel about that when this person says this?

What is your emotional response right now?

It's just what is.

I'm sad.

I'm scared.

I feel angry.

This is manifest Shakti,

Manifest reality.

This is feminine.

Emotions are feminine not because they're crazy or wild or unpredictable.

That's not why emotions are feminine.

Emotions are feminine.

It's because they are the truth of our manifest reality.

When that person hits me I feel pain.

When you do this thing I feel sad.

When I think about doing that that makes me angry.

That's it.

It's just a feeling.

It's just it's raining out.

It's not raining out.

It's not to be discussed.

It's not to be gaslit.

It's not to be analyzed.

It's not to be anything.

It's just the truth.

Can you imagine living and honoring your truth all the time?

Honoring your reality all the time.

Because this is one of the weird things is that we've been taught that our brains can create a reality that's different than our actual reality.

Depression is rampant.

It's a rampant issue around the world.

Now there are places in the world that are much happier for sure but even there I'm sure there's pockets.

We have this weird idea that we can superimpose a different reality onto a crappy reality.

Do you know how many people are depressed because they're married to the wrong person?

Do you know how many people are depressed because they have unresolved trauma in their bodies?

Or how many people hate their jobs?

That's why they're depressed.

They're not depressed because of a chemical issue inside.

They're depressed because their reality is not in alignment with their soul.

So our society says well you know what just take a drug and try to change your reality.

We'll try to override what's actually happening on the planet.

We'll try to override it.

Or then you know what else?

Maybe here I'm going to do this thing and I'm going to convince you why your reality is great.

It's fine.

What's wrong with you?

You shouldn't complain so much.

This is the constant overriding of our truth.

Depression goes away when we're no longer being depressed by something.

Imagine instead we actually just were honest.

And again it doesn't mean we have to be crazy or something.

But someone says how's it going and you're like I really don't like my life.

Now so when all of a sudden someone says oh my god like what if they take their life?

It's like no I'm not saying that.

I'm saying I really don't like my life the way it's become organized.

And it's really interesting because people often ask what is a dark night of the soul?

Lots of you guys know what it is.

One of the number one and to me the most helpful definitions of a dark night of the soul is when everything you've believed which is all in the brain,

Nothing to do with reality,

It's what your parents taught,

It's what you saw on tv,

It's what you understand in the universe,

It's what the church taught,

All those things,

All these ideas in the brain,

In the masculine,

They've all created an ideal reality and so you have lived that reality.

Maybe you have gotten the job that is most considered most successful.

Maybe you married a good person and had the right number of kids and you have the two-car garage and whatever and then all of a sudden you come to this realization but the only reason you can even live within it is because the masculine brain is oppressing the truth.

It's oppressing the feminine reality that says I'm dead here.

This structure doesn't let me thrive.

I spend so much energy fighting fires trying to do things that are completely out of my nature.

I hate my life.

So then all of a sudden something happens.

We have a crisis.

Maybe it's health,

Maybe it's business,

Maybe it's who knows what it is but a crisis happens and suddenly we can no longer hold it together and that masculine structure we're like screw that and we don't know what to do because everything we've believed up until this point we thought that structure was holding it together.

We thought that structure was creating the perfect life but that structure had no feminine in it.

It had no reality in it.

It had no connection to our emotions.

It had no connection to our own mystery.

It had no connection to our soul.

Our soul was treated like some robot that was just fitting into a program.

This is one of the number one reasons we have dark nights of the soul which is also why we very seldom want to make these big changes because we can almost feel that if I make this big change I'm going to be really depressed for a while because I won't even know how to function.

But it's important and again when we can trust the mystery we can trust all that and we know that the feminine already is within us.

We just have to give her a chance to grow again.

It's kind of like that example where they've used something to oppress the growth of grass or something.

You take it away.

It's just bare for a little while.

Just for a little while and then the rains come and then the critters bring seeds and then the seeds fall in the fall and all of a sudden a year later it's completely grown in with new growth,

New creatures,

New insects,

New grass,

New good stuff.

This part of the feminine reality,

This is also our body.

Our body is feminine.

All genders.

This is manifest reality.

How often do we ignore our bodies?

How often do we treat our bodies like nothing?

Like a shell?

How often do we eat anything we want indiscriminately and just treat the body as this sort of garbage processor?

Well it doesn't really matter as long as I'm enjoying what I'm eating my body will process it whatever.

Well yeah I mean I may have some stomach ache and I might end up with whatever but you know it doesn't matter because in the moment I got this thing my brain has decided this is what I want.

The body's irrelevant.

I don't really care.

I don't really care.

How often is the body treated like a nothing in that if it's sick we just treat the body like an object?

Now what if the body isn't a nothing?

What if the body holds wisdom?

What if the body is genius?

What if the body is an entity unto itself?

Well then all of a sudden when we become sick what should we do?

Well we should listen to the body.

What's the body saying?

What wisdom does the body have to share?

How different is that?

How often do we override our body signals?

How often if you're tired do you just have a nap at 10 o'clock in the morning or two in the afternoon?

And I get it sometimes work doesn't allow it and all that but how often do we override it?

Oh I'm so tired you know what I'll just go get a coffee.

I mean you know what coffee does?

I don't know if this is actually true but this is what I've been reading a lot lately is that coffee doesn't actually stimulate us.

It just hides the sleep cues.

It just stops us actually accessing the sleep the tired messages so we don't actually know we're tired.

How often do we do that?

How often do we eat when we're not hungry?

How often do we exercise when we're tired?

How often do we try to mold our body into something that our brain wants?

We've been watching Hollywood movies and looking at models and fashion magazines for how many decades so our brain decides what beauty is.

Our brain decides what handsome is.

So now again treating our body like a nothing like a piece of plasticine we go to the gym and we sculpt that plasticine into something that our brain wants it to be.

I'm really tired this morning you're gonna run your 5k no matter what.

I decided this is what's gonna happen and you're gonna drink this thing and you're gonna eat that thing and you're not gonna eat that thing and you're gonna do this because I've decided what you are gonna do.

This is pure oppression of the feminine.

Does the body not matter?

Again we treat the body like it's not a thing.

We treat the body like it's evil.

Oh you can't just listen to the body.

I mean you'd never get off the couch for god's sake.

The body's full of it's lazy and all it wants is chocolate and it's where all the desires live and all the addictions live and you can't listen to the body.

Again it's this demonization of the feminine and yeah you know what if you've sort of got a really strict training regimen and you suddenly are like you know what screw that because again balance.

Right now we're not talking about the healthy masculine we'll talk about that next week but if we just throw everything out you know what you probably will sit on the couch and eat bonbons for a while because your feminine is hurting.

You have literally oppressed and beaten the crap out of her for how long but then as you connect with her as you actually connect with her and you sleep when you're tired and you cry when you're sad and you eat when you're hungry only and when you drink water when you're thirsty and you go for a run when you have energy you'll come into balance and she will want to go for a walk and she will want to make love and she will want to eat food.

She will want to do all these things but can you imagine actually listening to her like she's real?

Like imagine this is one of the number one things we need to do to strengthen the feminine is to treat our body as a wise entity and not just an object to be utilized and shaped to our brain's belief.

The body also holds pain and pleasure so what's really interesting is accessing our feminine for example even say in intimacy this is where you actually are in your body during intimacy.

So what happens when you're not in your body in intimacy?

All you're thinking about is the next thing you're going to do or wow that's really sexy or what does this look like or maybe we should get this toy or maybe we should get that or something like that but when we're in our body suddenly we're connecting with the miracle of touch the miracle of our skin cells and our nervous system.

This is a miracle these bodies are insane.

Osho used to say you know people will sit and meditate gazing upon the beauty of a tree and he's like have you looked at the body you are living in right now?

It is a greater miracle and more sensitive than a tree or anything else that you gaze upon in nature and you think of this touch of the body like even where you are right now to just touch your hand and feel the miracle of the sensation of touch.

Well now you imagine being that sensitive in intimacy.

What would happen?

It's almost like we can't handle it.

We can't handle that much sensation.

This is cultivating the feminine.

To receive that kind of attention that kind of touch is overwhelming.

The more you connect with it the wilder it becomes and it's not just in intimacy because then suddenly you walk outside and it's a sunny day and that warmth hits your face and suddenly you feel it permeating your skin and you feel it through your whole body and this beautiful sensation flows through your whole body.

Suddenly you're walking down the street with your love or your children or your grandchildren and they hold your hand and suddenly just the feeling of this hand holding you realize first of all how precious the relationship is but in the body you actually feel the connection of these two physical beings touching and we realize how powerful and important that is.

It's no small thing.

So it's a really big deal to actually be able to be in our bodies to feel pleasure and of course to feel pain.

Feeling pain in the body is really important.

My last stepmother her daughter she doesn't feel pain.

She's never felt pain her whole life which was a whole issue because when she played sports she would injure herself constantly because there was nothing to slow her down.

Nothing to actually stop the action and her to protect herself.

We don't have to fear pain but we have to feel it.

We can't numb it.

We have to feel it and when we are allowed to feel pain completely then we're also allowed to feel pleasure completely.

Another big aspect of strengthening this feminine this manifest reality comes with this sober truth about life.

My manifest reality is this.

This is satya.

True satya.

What Gandhi taught about satya graha to stand in one's truth.

This was deep feminine.

This is the way it is.

There's nothing to argue about.

I'm not here to convince you.

You either know it or you don't.

This is why ahimsa his non-violent teaching goes along with satya because when you know a deep truth why would you fight?

It won't help.

Someone's either connected to that deep truth or not.

I want to read you another quote and this is a quote by Mark Twain because we often talk about feminine wisdom.

We often talk about what that is.

When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth and tell the whole world no you move.

Your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth and tell the whole world no you move.

Now this again is not stubborn.

This isn't just having an opinion to be a rebel or to make a point or anything like that.

This is when you're connected to the earth.

You're connected to reality.

You meditate.

You pray.

You hear truth and when in doubt you quietly stand in that truth.

There's nothing to say.

There's no argument to be had and if you are the feminine in an interaction and I don't care whether you are in a relationship or you are a matriarch of a family or you are simply at work that deep feminine just is.

That's all it is.

It doesn't fight.

So all of a sudden you stand in your truth and someone's like well that's not right and you don't understand and everything else and you're like there's nothing to say.

This is the wise woman or the wise man of the tribe.

Are they trying to convince you of something?

They don't try to convince anyone of anything.

If you want to know you'll ask them.

If you want to understand you'll ask them to explain it to you but you don't try to convince them.

They're connected to truth but the only way we can access that deep truth is to be in our body,

To be in our emotions,

To honor our reality,

Honor shakti,

Honor our truth.

This is the deep feminine.

Part of the feminine is being able to receive.

This is the giving and receiving dynamic.

So now suddenly here you are in this deep feminine.

So now suddenly here you are in this deep feminine.

You are whole.

This is mother earth.

She's whole.

So if someone gives you something you have this beautiful foundation.

So you drop your guards.

You open up and you receive it and that's it.

We have a lot of issues with receiving in our world.

Why?

Because we don't have this deep connection to self.

Because part of this deep connection to self also is when someone wants to give you something and in your heart you know your emotion says no.

That deep wisdom says no thank you and you don't receive it or something comes your way and you say oh yes that is something I would love or I need and I open.

All receiving is still dependent on your truth all the time.

It's easy to receive when what's being given is what we desire but how do we know what we desire?

If we aren't connected to our own feminine receiving becomes very easy.

So of course part of this beautiful wisdom is this inspiration and listening within.

You're walking through the world and you're connected to the world.

Like this doesn't have to be airy fairy spirituality.

This can just simply feel the wind change and know that something's shifting in the world.

You don't have to study a pile of spiritual texts or anything.

This is intrinsic to us to understand and feel and when we have this connection we also know that we can tap in to all of that mystery,

All of that unknown.

So we ask a question.

Whatever the question is it could be anything.

A friend of mine they really wanted to they were saying you know I really want to experience the masculine energy more and then suddenly they meet somebody and they happen to have a CrossFit gym.

They're like oh well if if you do this and this and this then you can come to CrossFit for a while and they start going to CrossFit and suddenly all of this beautiful testosterone is flowing through their body and all of a sudden they did this and they did this and all their masculine energy is like all over the place creating things.

They asked for that and the universe provided and again what happens then?

What happens to that deep trust of mystery when we ask a question and the answer comes?

It makes us even wiser.

Why does it make us wiser?

Because we're even more connected to the truth.

We're even more connected to the feminine.

The last thing I want to talk about which is kind of a little lighter because a lot of times that we we want to strengthen the feminine because perhaps we like to be in the feminine in relationship.

That is our preferred polarity in intimate relationship.

Well whether you're in a relationship right now or whether you're seeking a relationship right now one of the number one dynamics that makes a relationship happen and keeps the fire alive in a relationship is the pursuit of the feminine by the masculine partner.

As soon as the pursuit ends the passion ends and again this is whether you've been married for 30 years or you're going on your second date.

Can you feel the difference between someone feeling this deep feminine within you and being attracted to it and pursuing it?

They're kind of like wow I don't know what you are but I really want to know more about that.

As opposed to again us believing that we are nothing.

We are nothing without that person that person and so I'm gonna chase them.

I'm gonna chase that person.

Can we feel how backwards that is?

Not only do we imagine that we're nothing we're actually going into the masculine energy pursuing someone who theoretically might actually prefer to be in the masculine but it's almost like nothing chasing nothing.

There's no substance to anything.

So instead let's say we spend our energy cultivating mystery in our own lives,

Listening for inspiration,

Being aware of our body,

Living our life,

Manifesting and being open to change and allowing our life to be different all the time and then all of a sudden you meet someone and they're like wow you've got quite a life like you've got quite a thing going on that's really interesting.

They're either attracted to that like magnetically they're either their masculine pull either is attracted to that feminine or it's not and if it's not they kind of just disappear in a relationship or at the beginning of a relationship.

What does the feminine do with that?

Nothing.

She,

He,

Whatever gender you are,

Is connected to the entire universe.

The mystery of all that is.

That's just the way it is.

That's the magnetism of these two beings.

They don't line up.

That's it.

Maybe it's a disappointment or whatever.

We're accustomed to honoring our feelings.

We're accustomed to listening.

We're accustomed to it raining sometimes.

We're not judging it.

That's just the way it is.

Then all of a sudden someone comes along and they are truly attracted to you and then something real happens.

They rise up to actually pursue you and now you have two whole interesting beings interacting because the feminine is a whole interesting juicy being and the masculine partner is also connected to their own feminine and all that kind of thing.

They are also a whole interesting connected being.

Now you have worlds colliding.

Now you have something interesting.

Now you actually have dancers on the dance floor.

So it's a very interesting thing that as we become deeply connected and enjoying the feminine,

Enjoying the mystery,

Like even in that,

Like how often are we disappointed because things don't work out?

Whether it's a marriage or whether it's a date,

You know,

How often are we like,

Oh darn it.

But if we embrace mystery,

Not fear it,

But we embrace it,

Then we say,

Huh,

I wonder what else is coming.

I wonder when I look back on this one day how I'll feel about it because something else happened.

If you have any questions,

I'd love to answer them.

So how do you tell between a pursuit and a masculine aggressor?

Like which one is the healthy one?

It all depends if you desire it.

If they're pursuing you and it makes you happy and it gives you butterflies,

Then it's right.

And if,

You know,

If it doesn't feel right,

If you don't get excited by it,

If it doesn't stimulate your happiness inside and you say,

Okay,

Just,

You know,

Sorry,

I don't think this is right.

And they continue.

Well,

You're no longer a person.

You're just an object of their desire.

They're not actually treating you like a being.

They're treating you as an object.

So then it's not healthy anymore.

But if they're treating you like a whole being and you say,

Wow,

I appreciate the attention,

But I don't think this is right.

And they say,

Oh,

Awesome.

Nice to meet you.

And they go on with their life.

That's healthy.

They're always attracted to that in the beginning with me.

And then once it's been two to three years,

They lose interest in the magic and they want normal.

And you know what?

I think some people or some relationships,

I really do think they come in for a season.

And maybe those relationships were only supposed to be for three years or two years.

And they were meant to pass by.

We don't understand how we're meant to work through our karmas.

And I don't mean in a negative way.

I mean,

Our patterns that we're cycling through,

Or maybe even patterns that we learned from our parents or things we've inherited from our ancestors.

And maybe we need to sort something out and we end up in a partnership with someone and we have particular battles with them,

Particular challenges.

But then we resolved it and they don't fit any longer.

And it ends.

And that's it.

And that's it.

And we shift on.

We have a lot of attachment to this idea that a lifelong relationship is the only successful relationship.

And that's the only reason to be in a relationship.

But what if we're meant to be with certain people for certain times?

Sometimes I feel like that about children,

That it's almost like I was meant to be with this person,

Because these children had to be born,

But we weren't meant to be together.

But the children drew these particular DNA sequences together.

I don't know.

I'm afraid of the loneliness of waiting to be pursued.

I've tried and will try again to listen for insight instead of entertaining the loneliness.

Well,

And it's interesting.

I understand the desire to couple.

I do.

But there's really something important about expanding in our own lives and really having a life that we would love to live.

Like what if,

What if imagine for a moment that nobody coupled?

Let's just imagine this life.

Coupling wasn't assumed.

It wasn't even done.

What would you do with your life right now?

Coupling isn't a thing.

What would your life look like?

And live that life,

Whatever that is.

Join piles of groups and invite your friends out for coffee and learn hang gliding or whatever.

The problem is we've been taught that without a couple,

You know what I mean?

Our life isn't okay.

So if for some reason we find ourselves in a time where,

Wow,

I really,

I'm really feeling lonely.

What if that's actually the soul saying,

Come on,

Let's enjoy life.

I'm unsure how to find someone masculine who isn't toxic masculine.

So in my experience,

It has a lot to do with our own toxic feminine,

Because we will find the toxic masculine in the same amount that our feminine is toxic.

And what I mean by that toxic is a weird word and it's been used in a lot of weird ways.

So let's just say unhealthy.

So for me,

I have had unhealthy feminine in that I will try to fix my partner.

I believe that that's my job to fix their wounds.

So of course they can come and be wounded and they can come and bleed all over me all the time.

And I don't mean someone's hurting and you help them.

I mean,

It's part of their identity.

And so I fix them or maybe it's unconscious and all that kind of thing.

Well,

The more I'm like that,

The more I'll allow that in my life,

Not attract it.

Let's assume for a moment that people are always going past us.

So it's not that I'm attracting them,

But the ones that I allow into my life will match that.

That it's okay that I'm with someone who's messed up because I'm a fixer.

Well,

What if I wasn't a fixer?

They won't stop.

Or we might go on a date and they find out that,

Wow,

They're really not pursuing me at all.

Okay,

Next.

We don't go into the,

Well,

They're not pursuing because they had a really difficult childhood and they're,

You know,

They're afraid of rejection and all this kind of thing.

We don't go into that because we never get that far because I'm not interested in fixing them.

So you're either healthy enough to pursue me or you're not.

So I'm not going to be in a relationship like that.

If the toxic masculine is always mansplaining,

Well,

The toxic feminine or the unhealthy feminine takes that and listens to it and then tries to explain back and tries to argue their point.

But if you're in the healthy feminine and you're simply standing in your truth and anybody starts to mansplain,

Male or female,

It doesn't land anywhere.

It just disappears.

And either the relationship disappears or they stop it.

That's what I mean.

I think right now we're in this massive shift in society where all of our unhealthy masculine and unhealthy feminine are coming up against each other so that we can heal.

It's not negative.

This is how we need to heal.

This is,

We need to have those examples in our life and perhaps in intimate ways.

So that we can actually heal and become stronger.

So thank you so much for being here.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

Reviews

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 I think this is my favorite talk of yours 🙏❤️🫂💫Thank you for this incredible wisdom 🫶🎯✨🪷I actually felt my chronically wound-up nervous system actually calm down and regulate as I listened 🕊️🐋🧘‍♀️🪸

Wow thank you! I heard your talk just before a 2 hour dance meditation(5 rhythms). I literally feel things starting to change inside me, your words open my eyes and my heart.... I feel the understanding and healing pouring in me. Thank you soooo much the world needs people like you 🙏🏼

I'm absolutely loving this series. Thank you for your wisdom x