Healing This And All Other Lifetimes

Do you ever wonder why all of these old issues are coming up inside? There are those who say that part of our current evolution is about healing and integrating this and all other lifetimes. The memories and pain and gifts from all of our lifetimes are always living within us. But the veil is thinning and they are all coming to be addressed, understood, and integrated. It's time for us all to become truly whole - along our whole personal story arc.

Transcript

So today we are talking about integrating this and all other lifetimes. This idea first came to me through a friend of mine, Who I've mentioned before in other talks, Who began channeling paintings when she was 54. She'd never painted before. She'd had a bunch of children. She was raised Mennonite. This wasn't her world, Even like the ultra-spiritual New Age world wasn't her world at all. And her husband died, And all of a sudden these paintings started coming through. And all of a sudden, All this wisdom started coming through. And she's, She must be 86 now, 87, And she's still painting. And her house is filled with over 500 of these huge paintings, Just epic. And it's the story of humanity in the past and going forward. It's not public or anything. I just, I take friends there. I take people there every so often. It's just amazing. But she's a very wise person. We call her the Oracle. And she is painting the ascension of all of us, That we are in a very interesting time. And we have been for a little while, And it's only getting more interesting. And part of that ascension, We as humans have to go through certain processes. Some are the marriage of the masculine and feminine. Some are the marriage of the divine and the physical. So you can imagine why all of this intrigues me so much, Because it's sort of my life passion, All of these things. And, You know, And then serendipitously, I meet this wonderful woman. Another aspect is the integration of this and all other lifetimes. So imagine what this could mean. Even if we can't really wrap our brain around what it means to be in an ascension, To be flowing from 3D to 5D, Even if we can't actually define that, Imagine for a moment yourself where you are right now. And imagine you want to be able to do something new. So let's say right now, I'm a couch potato, But I have an inner desire, Like every cell of my body knows that I want to climb Mount Everest. But right now, It's exhausting climbing upstairs. But I want to climb Mount Everest. Well, Somehow, I have to go through a journey inside of me to gather all the parts of me that maybe believes that I'm not an athlete, Or believes that I can't do hard things like that, Or believes that I can't do that, Because that's not reasonable, And that's not worthy, And I don't have the money, Or whatever. All the negative things that sort of are hurting me. And maybe even some false positive things that things I tell myself that, Oh, Yeah, I can do, I can do, Tell myself that, Oh, Yeah, I can do anything. I don't have to train for that. I don't have to ask for advice. I can just do it myself. So we really have to kind of clean house to bring myself almost to a new state of being, Still myself, But a new state of being, A new version of myself, In order to do this new thing. That's the kind of time we're in right now. However we understand it, Things are shifting, And it's a time for us to really gather ourselves together, Gather all the little bits that we don't understand, Gather the bits that hurt us, That we are triggered by, All those things. So one of the aspects is integrating this in all other lifetimes. So now let's imagine, And this may not even be your belief system, But just for fun, Let's pretend it is. Let's imagine that there is no such thing as time. I actually believe that is true. But we are living in this three-dimensional time and space continuum, And so we experience time linearly, For all intents and purposes. We can go deeper into that if we wanted, But and let's say I am a particular soul. I'm a particular energy pattern that is wandering through this interesting world. This physical body brings in this energy pattern, Or the energy pattern manifests this body. Maybe when this body tuckers out, A new body appears, And my energy keeps rolling forward. This is sort of the journey of karma, That whatever patterns this body, This energy being, Is experiencing, Just continues to have those experiences. Whether I'm in this body, Or a male body, Or a child's body, Or an old, It doesn't matter. I'm still repeating these patterns. These are karmic patterns, Or it doesn't matter all the words we use for it. What's interesting is every time we come into a new body, Theoretically we forget the past lives, So that we can actually have a genuinely new experience this time. It's almost like, Well, What if I experienced this pattern as a woman growing up in Canada? Katrina Boss. Let's say I experienced this pattern as a young boy growing up in Czechoslovakia, Or Czech Republic. I think it's something different now. What would it look like there? And by seeing this pattern in all these different bodies and lives, We learn interesting things about the pattern, About our lives, About being human. But of course, In each life, It seems that there are leftovers from past lives. It's not just the karmic patterns. Sometimes we still have the whispers of the wounds, Of the memories. We come into this life very loaded. We hate that. We're terrified of snakes. We love that. We have addictions to that. We have repulsion to that. I certainly don't believe that children come in as blank slates. We seem to come in very loaded. What's interesting is, What many people say, And it's certainly my experience, Is that the veils between all the lifetimes seem to be getting thinner, Which can be very confusing if we're not paying attention. Because all of a sudden, Issues that we thought we had solved are rising again. Patterns that we thought we'd figured out are happening again, And I'm getting pissed off about it, And I'm getting upset about it. What's going on? How come I was fine about this, But now I'm repeating this again? What's going on? What's wrong with the world? How come that person's doing that, And this person's doing that? We're just seeing all of these things in the world, And it's driving us crazy. Well, We can let it drive us crazy, Or we can sit back and sit in our witness mind, Which is what we develop in yoga meditation. This ability to sit within ourselves and observe our life almost objectively. We're still seeing it from our viewpoint, But we're looking at them, Looking at it quite objectively and with love and compassion. In yoga, They talk about koshas. K-O-S-H-A. It's defined as a sheath, Or a cloak, Or a cover, And they talk about the five cloaks of being human. The first one is the body. The second is the pranic body. The body is anamaya-kosha. Maya, This universe, This curious place we exist in, So maya-kosha, And then ana, Maya-kosha, Is the body, And then the prana, Maya-kosha, Is the breath body, And then the mana, Mana-maya-kosha? I think so. Mana-maya-kosha is the brain. Then they have something beautiful called the vijnana-maya-kosha. And vijnana, One interpretation is wisdom. This is what we study on Mondays, The vijnana by Rava Tantra, Right? The wisdom of the universe, The book of the wisdom of the universe. And so the vijnana-maya-kosha, Anyway, So that sits between that and ananda-maya-kosha, Which is our bliss body. Vijnana-maya-kosha is also our witness mind. This is the part of us that observes ourselves with love and acceptance, With agape, For anyone who has studied love with me. Agape is unconditional love, Acceptance, Respect, And respect's very important. So this is within all of us that we look at ourselves and we say, Isn't that interesting? So as the veils thin, All of a sudden, All of these unresolved pain, Issue, Trauma, Gifts, Wisdom, Everything is rising. And it's all rising to come together so we can climb Mount Everest. But we have to look at it. We can't ignore them. And this is probably the primary message of today's whole talk, Is that whatever is rising for you right now, Take it very seriously. And not in an overwhelmed way or not in a, Oh my God, You know, I was burned at the stake 40 times, Now I know what's happening in my life. Not like that. Not in a victim way. In a vijnana-maya-kosha way, In a witness mind way, In a way that understands that this life that I'm in right now holds all the power. In this moment, I can make changes. In this moment, I can integrate everything I've learned from all my lives. And it all goes into me. It's like, You know, That great scene from The Matrix, Where Neo at the end, He realizes that he isn't a victim of the bad guys. And the bad guys run at him, And he simply opens up, And he absorbs them. And then he kind of does this little expansion, Contraction. And it all just, And it all comes into him. That's our long game with this integration of all lifetimes. And I'm not saying this is easy by any means. But it's important. It's kind of like knowing that, Okay, You know what? I'm finishing the final part of my master's program. I've got to focus. I've got to focus. I've got to do the research. I've got to do the work. All right, I'm in. I'm in. That's all we need to really make sure that we think about. That everything that's coming into our world right now is important. Every weird thing that happens in relationship is important. That we look at it and say, Hmm, In one of my classes this week, Somebody called it an opening to awareness. That if something is going on that's really rubbing you wrong, Trust your wisdom. Trust your spidey senses. When you stop and you go, What is this actually? What's going on? Like we kind of step back into your witness mind and say, Okay. And then you take it to whatever toolbox you need. I mean, This is one of the great things about a platform like Insight Timer is we learn tools for our toolbox. We learn all the tools that we use to process challenging things. So maybe it's yoga nidra. Maybe it's meditation. Maybe it's kundalini yoga. Maybe it's journaling. Maybe it's running. Maybe it's sitting by the ocean and meditating. Who knows what is in your toolbox that helps you process. Maybe it's sitting with a friend over coffee. Maybe it's gathering a group of friends together and saying, Okay, Look, Here's what's going on for me. I don't know. Maybe we need to gather our own little covens together to kind of say, I need some support. There's some big stuff coming through me right now. I'd really love your guys insights here because I'm quite stymied. Who knows what it takes, But the key is to take it seriously and don't turn a blind eye to it. Because we're a very curious culture who believes that comfort means we've arrived. And so as soon as something is uncomfortable, We drink it away, Smoke it away, Shop it away, Gamble it away. We do whatever we possibly can to distract ourselves from what's going on. But at this time, We can't do that. We can't use any of our addictions. For me, I just like to kind of drown it out in chocolate. So I become numb. Right? We all have our ways where we just are like, I don't know how to handle that. So the primary place that we want to be through this journey is in the self. I read in a book recently that truth, Big T truth, Or as we would say satya, Is the conversation between the self and the divine. So imagine that in all moments, No matter what's going on, You can always close your eyes and have a conversation with the divine. However you understand that within you, Without, Whatever. And this is your truth. This is your guiding light. This is the path. Something comes up and you close your eyes and you say, What do I do with this? And you trust whatever comes. Maybe a word comes. Maybe a person's face appears. Maybe whatever. Maybe you journal about it. Maybe you go for a run. Maybe something says, Go for a walk to your favorite cafe. You know, Who knows what it is. But this is always the center. So even as we get triggered and maybe we imagine that, No, I think I had a past life where this happened or whatever. And you don't necessarily have to go and have a past life regression or anything like that. Sometimes deep inside, We already know things. You can almost feel it inside of us. There are people in my life that I have no doubt that they've been soldiers before. You can just feel it in them that they have had heavy sacrifice and it's been extremely responsible. And you can almost feel there's something disheartened within them today. You know what I mean? Like there's sometimes we just know stuff about ourselves. So as we walk through life and things trigger us, People specifically. It's almost always people. To really sit quietly and ask, Why does this bother us? What is the pattern that I am repeating? To truly understand that it is never about the other person. The problem is never in the other person. If the other person is abusive to you, The only thing that's interesting is, Why do you continue to be in a relationship where abuse is normal? That's the only interesting question. And in the context of this particular talk, Perhaps you've repeated this pattern hundreds of times. Maybe it's extremely familiar. And this is interesting. And again, Perhaps this is a realization that rings true for you in that moment. And you say, All right, First of all, What do I do with that? Do I do yoga? Do I write about it? What do I do? Then the question is, What can I do in this life right now to change the pattern? I don't even want to say break the pattern, Just change the pattern. Because what's interesting about that, And I can't tell you if this is true or not. I used to have a book that was called, Nothing in this book is true, But it's exactly as things are. It's one of the funniest things about being human, Is we actually can't see the blueprint. We can't actually see how things work. So all we can do is create theories and ideas that seem to work. And if they help, Then they're a useful tool. They don't even have to be true. They don't even, Our actual truth might be dimensions beyond anything we can fathom. Our actual truth might be dimensions beyond anything we can fathom. But if we have a working theory that helps us heal and integrate and be happy, Then all that matters is that it works and it's actually genuine, Right? So I have a theory. It's all probably not mine alone. It's a great understanding that time does not actually exist, That we are always living in the eternal now. That it's a construct of maya, This world that we live in, That we walk through time sequentially. So which means our past lives are actually in some illusion of a past time, That they aren't happening right now. Now let's imagine for a moment that we close our eyes and we collapse the time-space continuum. And that means that every single thing that has ever happened to us in every lifetime is happening right now. So all of those abusive relationships are happening right now, Which is why it feels so incredibly difficult to change it. It isn't just this incarnation. It isn't just this body, This 50 years. It's harder than that. Someone else looks at you and says, Well, Just do this, For God's sake, Just do this. And you're like, I know, But somehow you feel like your feet are stuck in muck. You just can't change it. You're like, What is wrong with me? But what if it's deeper than that? This is where I mean to take this very seriously, To take our plight seriously. Imagine for a moment that if you sit there and you change the pattern, Change the story in this life, Because this is the only one where we have power and we have agency. This is the only life that we have that ability. And we change the pattern. What if it changes it in all of our lifetimes? What if the story shifts in every lifetime? We don't know. We assume that everything that happens is set in stone. And yet, Is it true? And we don't even have to go as far back into lifetimes. We can go into, Like, I kind of laugh that in my life right now, I swear I think I've had at least seven lifetimes that seem so absolutely disparate and separate. I can't even fathom that they've all happened within this body. When I think that I was once a dairy farmer's wife. 30 years ago, I married a dairy farmer, Moved to the farm, And it clicked in an entire program all the way down my maternal line of serving the man and doing the thing. It's almost like I have been a farmer's wife so many times, My body, Like those memories almost kicked in and overrode this person, This actual person who is here today. Because I even had friends in university come to visit me. And they would just look at me and say, Who are you? What? Oh, I'm just fine. And you know, The men, The men are coming in for lunch, And I've made them sandwiches. And they'd be like, Who are you? No idea who this woman was before them. And I lived out this massive pattern over and over and over again until finally I got sick. The story of the breast lumps and all that, Right. And I met my teacher. And all of a sudden, I had to look at the world differently. And I had to start changing the patterns and changing the story and you know, All that kind of thing. But what's interesting is for many years, I told stories about my time on the farm. And I told them in the ways that I was a victim of those stories, You wouldn't believe what he did. And then there was this one time that his parents did this thing to me. And then there was this other time that he said this to me and I just cried for three days like this. These are the stories I would tell about my life on the farm. And then later, Especially after we divorced, We were together for 20 years. After we divorced, You know, Having other relationships, Suddenly I started recognizing myself in the mix. I started recognizing, Oh, No, You were a player, Katrina. You didn't have to act that way. You could have actually said this. And that would have changed the whole dynamic. Oh, You could have also done this. So lots of you guys know that I'm addicted to Ted Lasso, This amazing show on Apple TV. Only because I think it is one of the most beautiful shows about what's possible with inhumanity, And integrity and joy and fun. There's this great point where there's one of the characters, She was married. She's the one who hired Ted Lasso because she was mad at her ex-husband because he had had all these affairs and cheated on her and stuff. And essentially, She had stopped hanging out with her friends, Which happens a lot, Especially in certain kinds of relationships. And she had completely ignored and neglected this one really good friend of hers from childhood. Finally, They came back together after the divorce, And they were, You know, Chatting. And the woman said, I'm just so sorry. I'm so sorry for not reaching out for the last six years. I've been such a horrible friend. But you know, I just couldn't as long as I was with him and blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah. He's just such a horrible man. And the friend looked at her and said, Look, He built an ivory tower. And it's true, He kept you in it. But you climbed every step to get into it. And you have to own your part of that. That's why I love this show. It's filled with scenes like that, That are just done in such love and kindness, And yet deep truths that are just so important for our time right now. And these are the things I started to realize. I started to realize the places where, Because I needed their approval for this, They had the power to do this, And it had this effect on me. And as soon as I uprooted that, And I changed that, It disappeared. And as soon as I started acting differently in my current relationships, I can't even remember those experiences that I repeated over and over and over to people. It's almost like the experiences disappeared, Like they didn't happen. And again, I'm not saying that what I'm saying is real or true or legitimate. All I'm saying is that all I'm saying is that within me, As soon as that loaded, Emotional, Karmic pattern was released, Imagine again that time is all happening right now. It's like it shifted the whole pattern. It just shifted. And the story changed. And that's, It's a really empowering thing to imagine, But it really takes so much diligence to really look at what's going on right now. I had an experience last week. I went to a healer, Very interesting woman. I don't normally go to healers. I'm kind of surrounded by intuitives and really interesting people. And even if they're not intuitive, People surprise you with their wisdom all the time. And so I don't normally go to people, But this one came highly recommended. And I, As a lot of you guys know, I have struggled with, I've had struggles with breathing for like 30 years and anemia and things like that. So that's why I was going to kind of find out, You know, Was there something else going on here that I couldn't understand? Anyway, And sure enough, There was a past life that was very current and it was dark and it was really horrible and it had to do with sex slave. It was very, Very dark. And so I've been in the process of sort of sorting all this out, Right? Well, What's interesting is what the process is inside of me, Which to me feels very similar to the process of this, Is sorting out Katrina in this life. Who am I in this incarnation? This one right here in this body. And what constructs have I created around me because of these other energies inside of me? For example, I have really struggled in my life to trust men. I struggle to trust anybody, To be honest. And it's deep, Like it's a deep thing, Even though intellectually I know better, Even though people maybe even prove to me they're trustworthy. Deep down, I'm like, I don't really trust you. Very seldom do I meet people that I actually full out trust. Well, Based on that life and probably a lot of lives and probably for a lot of people here, We had very good reason not to trust anyone. We've lived in a very, Very dark world. If you follow the the yugas from India, Then we've lived in Kali Yuga, The darkest time in humanity. We're coming out of it now. So a lot of us easily have some pretty dark things that are rolling through our consciousness. So it's a very interesting thing to really sit within ourselves. And again, This is where it comes back to self. It comes back to our communication with the divine in this moment, In this body, Because how often do we escape our bodies? This body. I have to be in this body all the time. This was part of the healing journey with her, Actually, Was to perpetually come into this body. What is my reality right now? And so in the meantime, Now it's ironic, You know, I planned this class a month ago, And then I go to this healing on Friday. And so now this is like so poignant for me, Healing all the lifetimes. The serendipity of the world is pretty hilarious. So here I am inside my consciousness, Always checking in. Wait, Who am I really? And then, Oh, Look, Here's this thing that doesn't trust. Oh, Here's this thing that always has to people please. Here's this thing that's afraid to not be liked. Here's this thing that really wants to be respected. Here's this part of me that really wants to be seen. And you're kind of looking at all of it, And you're thinking, Where does all that come from? Why are we all so desperate to be seen, Desperate to be respected, Desperate to be liked, Desperate to be accepted by others? Is it really who we are in this life? Or is it all just leftovers from ourself that lived in 1320 and 1512 and 1780 when we just were invisible for some reason, Or we were slaves, Or we were whatever. And so again, It's not that we have to go to all these healers and do all this work, But to really sit within ourselves and say, Okay, Well, Maybe I did go through difficult times. All right. So the process is, No one understand whatever it is. So for me, Let's say I had this very difficult past life that I have conscious memory of, Or I have some kind of whispers that are still living within me. Have some kind of whispers that are still living within me. So I can heal that, And I can imagine that, Okay, I'm safe now, It's all good, Blah, Blah, Blah. Maybe stuff has come up through my life sexually and relationships and all that kind of thing. So again, To be very careful, Don't let any stone be unturned. Really look at it, Look at it with love, Find a healing path, Pray for guidance, Do all those good things. And then we integrate it into our lives. Remember after I came back from this healing, It was funny. So my sister, One of my sisters, She sent me this text because she'd learned of Henry David Thoreau, Who I've spoken about many times, Because I have such a deep affinity with Thoreau. And it's funny when we say things like that, I have such a deep affinity with this teacher or this person or this whatever. And she said, I really think that in a past life, You were like Thoreau or something. And I was laughing because I was sort of reeling in this experience from the healer about this whole sex slave thing. And I said, Wow, I said, Thank you for saying that. Because I really needed to almost remember that although I may have had some very dark past lives, I also probably had some very beautiful ones as well. And it's very important that we don't get caught in that negative cycle of, Oh, See, This is where all my bad habits come from. This is why I'm always a victim. This is why. But what about all the amazing parts of you? What about all the incredible pieces of wisdom that you've picked up over the years? And so it was a it was beautiful medicine that she intuitively sent me in that moment. And so I told her that I said, Wow, I really needed to hear that right now. Because she had known about what I'd found out in the healing. And she said, Well, Doesn't it make sense that because you've experienced such darkness in the world of intimacy, Sex and all that kind of thing, That doesn't it make sense why your whole life is dedicated to experiencing something different in the world of intimacy and Tantra and love? Doesn't it make sense why you're so passionate about it? This is really interesting to kind of think about. Why are we so passionate about this? Why are we so passionate about living a different way, Living in a different consciousness? These past experiences don't own us today. We can use them as understanding for maybe some of the things we beat ourselves up about. But they also propel us to really know that we can experience something different here. What if our past struggles cause us to be very compassionate for people who are suffering? What if one of these past lives of mine and yours, I mean, God knows, I'm sure we're all in a very different in very similar boats. What if it gives us compassion for people who feel stuck, Feel stuck, Who struggle, Who can't find the answers? And deep down in our hearts, We are like, I get it. I understand. I really deeply understand. And we don't try to give advice, Because we truly get it on a deep level. So going forward, I, Of course, I'm a very, I'm very writing oriented, Because that's just how I'm wired. I like to write, It's easy for me. So a lot of my tools have to do with writing. So for example, Imagine you took a piece of paper, And you do a line down the middle, As I like to do. And on the left, You have your name, Born 1969 till present. I don't know why that tickled me, But that really tickled me. And you write down, Who are you actually right now? Who is this, This, This lifetime? Who are you? And then on the other side, Write down all the things that you are like, That these are your traits, But you're not sure they're you, Like the people pleaser. I even wrote a book about people pleasing. But I don't really think I am a people pleaser. I actually think I'm more than nutty professor, Who didn't realize that people thought they were nutty. That's who I actually think I am. And I obviously get quite a giggle about, About being the nutty professor, And not the people pleaser. And again, If the funniest thing is, As soon as I allow myself to be the nutty professor, I don't care about being respected, I don't care about being liked, I don't care about whether you understand me, Because I understand me, And I'm quite entertained by it. So it's just interesting to kind of make two sides. Here are all the things about me that confuse me to no end. Why do I always need this? Why do I need other people to like me? Why do I just write it all out? And kind of let that be your starting point, The start point of your exploration of this integration of all lifetimes into this one. And then look at each one, And say, Is there a story that rings for me? Who knows? Maybe it's just an imaginary story. Maybe you, You like to tell stories, And you sit down with a book, And you go, There was once a young girl named Matilda. And you just tell a story that somehow makes sense as to why you're like this now. And again, It doesn't matter whether it's true or accurate. All that matters is that it somehow integrates that energy into this lifetime. And maybe if that person was suffering or struggling, You sit down, And you meditate, And you have a conversation with them. In the same way that you may have a conversation with your inner child from this incarnation, You would sit down with that six-year-old of yourself right now, And hold them, And tell them they're okay, And tell them everything's going to be okay. And we kind of heal that inner part of us. Whether it's in this incarnation, Or the last one, Or 50 incarnations ago, Like, Who cares? For me, It's also very important that I don't leave it in my head or in my paper, That I also do something physical. For me, Kundalini Yoga is very integrating, And it forces me into my body. It forces me into this body. I can't stay in my head. So for someone else, It might be Ashtanga Yoga, Or horseback riding, Or running, Or something that actually gets us in the body. It could be cleaning house. It could just be, You know what? That's it. End to end. I'm going to clean this house like I'm cleaning my psyche. Whatever the process is, That is just really important. We just always come back to center. We always come back to self. Because no matter whatever happened in past lives, Future lives, This is the only one that's real right now. This is the only one that we have any power or agency in. So thank you so much for being here. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Reviews

So good!! Thank you for sharing your journey as a teaching opportunity for us. Including the delicious laughter that clears patterns in and of itself! 💕🙏☺️

Wonderful as always. I like the mixture of incite with a splash of silly. I end up laughing along as if we are together hanging out. I've never felt like finding ones truth is a serious matter. I'm convinced God is a comedian urging us to relax and get the joke. 🥳

Loved listening to this. Thank you for sharing your truth, experiences, and giggles! 🙏🏼❤️

Thanks for sharing your experience. After listening to this talk I find that I have a peaceful easy feeling that I have not been able to find for quite a long while. I’ll definitely look deeper into myself for more learning.
Namaste 🙏 ❤️☮️
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