Healing Our 2nd Chakra: Chakra 3.0 Series

How can we feel the flow in our relationships after many difficult experiences with others? How can we truly feel our emotions - letting them talk to us and guide us in our lives? Let's explore how to heal this wonderful energy centre that lets us experience relationships with others!

Transcript

Today we're doing the second class of our chakra 3.

0 series.

The 2.

0 series was all about looking at the chakras in a really different way and understanding the chakras themselves as being in the light.

And because we often think about the chakras as being blocked,

Which is really interesting,

Especially today we're talking about the second chakra.

So the second chakra is all about how we interact with others.

It's also creativity,

It's sexuality,

It's actually money,

It's all kinds of things.

But this is one of the places where we often will say,

Well my second chakra is blocked.

And there's something weird about internalizing that and saying,

I'm blocked inside.

It sort of takes away our ability to be able to look at something objectively and heal it,

Because it's almost like saying,

I am diseased in my second chakra.

It might last the rest of my life.

And that can really take away from our healing process.

So in the 2.

0 series,

We looked at the chakras differently and we said,

Imagine the chakras are all in their perfection.

So inside of us,

We're actually perfect.

But the reality is,

We look around the world and the world's pretty crooky,

Like it's pretty crazy.

And if you look at,

In the second chakra specifically,

How we're taught to interact with each other in this shadow world,

In this very strange world that is really governed by separation.

And because we're in separation with each other,

It's really easy to be mean to each other.

It's easy to lie to each other,

Either manipulate,

In order to manipulate people,

Or just simply to protect ourselves or whatever.

It's easy to try to be controlling.

It's easy to be in dysfunctional relationships,

Because it's a pretty scary world.

And the training we've gotten is really dysfunctional.

We could live in a scary world but have excellent training,

And we'd be able to navigate it.

But that's not it.

We were given really dysfunctional,

Codependent,

Power,

Desiring,

Fear-based training.

And because of that out in the world,

So imagine now we have an interface in between this perfection inside and this crazy world.

Well,

In the second chakra interface,

We had to adapt to interacting with a world that was mean,

That wasn't safe,

Where people weren't necessarily honest in relationships.

They weren't honest in their communication.

So this is really important to imagine this adaptation or these programs living in this interface between us and the outside world,

That inside our second chakra is perfection,

And that over time we've simply learned the rules.

It's kind of like imagine you had to go and interact with people in a gang.

You might learn the lingo,

Or you might learn something,

Or create a persona to be able to fit in or to allow people to trust you or something,

Which doesn't make any sense if you're creating a persona.

But you sort of learn the lay of the land.

In a lot of ways,

That's what the interface is.

It's sort of our way of interacting with a world that's really not terribly safe if we're kind of all open-hearted.

And so that's what today is all about.

We did the first chakra series,

Which was kind of just a normal thing about relationships.

And then the second one,

The 2.

0,

Was all about let's redefine this in terms of the light and the shadow and the interface.

And then this 3.

0 series is all about,

Okay,

I hear you,

But what do we do with it?

How do we heal this interface?

How do we look at these programs?

How do we actually do the work,

Air quote?

How do we do that?

Because it's easy to say it.

You've got to heal the second.

It's like,

Yeah,

But I don't really know what you're saying.

In the immortal words of my ex-stepmother,

It's really easy to say when you say it fast,

But harder to actually do.

So let's imagine,

For example,

That the second chakra,

If we just focus on our interactions with other people,

This is one of our primary stresses in life.

This is a reality.

How do we naturally navigate the world interacting with other people?

Well,

Imagine you have a mission.

So your third chakra,

Which we'll talk about next week,

Is all about what am I here for?

What is it that this soul came to earth to experience,

To do?

What is that?

If you have a certain mission,

There'll be certain people that you're drawn towards.

There'll be certain experiences that you're like,

I really want to do that.

I don't know why I feel so called to this thing.

And someone else says,

Do you want to do this?

And you're like,

Not really.

I don't really feel any call to that.

I feel no attraction to that.

What's the same with people?

There will be people that naturally are meant to be on our paths and other people we just literally don't connect with.

This is magnetism.

If you imagine that our beings are actually magnetic creatures,

Like on a very basic level,

Our atoms are made of energy.

And the energy is all made of charged particles.

And so the atoms,

They're like these swirling charged particles.

They're not even a thing.

It's not even like an,

It's not even a physical thing.

They're just charged particles.

So you have this one little charged particle,

This little universe.

And then there's another one over here.

And the only thing that keeps them together is a kind of magnetism.

And as they stay close together,

And then this one's close together,

And this one's close together,

And they're all moving very quickly.

If there's enough there,

They appear solid.

So these bodies are actually just energy molecules held together by magnetism.

So we are literally a huge manifestation of charged particles.

Magnetism is a real thing.

So when you meet someone,

They are also a charged particle of a sort.

And it is so interesting how you can meet someone and you literally can feel drawn to them.

And you can meet another person and you're literally repulsed by them.

And to be really careful of these words,

Because Hollywood books,

Soap operas,

Things like that,

Have really put interesting ideas in our head when we imagine what is attractive,

What is repulsive.

And we have this idea that you can define attractiveness or repulsiveness.

It's kind of this idea that the hunchback of Notre Dame is repulsive or Beauty and the Beast,

This is repulsive.

But the beauty,

She is attractive.

And if you look like Angelina Jolie,

You are attractive.

This isn't real.

This is just a surface thing.

This is just like,

I'm wearing red and I like red.

It's not real.

True attractiveness between human beings.

If you want to talk about attractiveness between robots or even if you imagine the attractiveness in the animal kingdom.

Yeah,

If you know the attractiveness might mean,

How do you tell if a female animal is in heat or not?

How do you tell if a male animal is ready to breed or healthy enough to breed or something like that?

There might be that kind of thing,

But that's not really what we're talking about as humans.

We're not really walking around in a mating ritual all the time looking for a woman with swollen,

A swollen groin or something.

You know,

Like that's not really what's happening.

So instead,

We use this magnetic attraction of the second chakra.

But one of the challenges is one of the trainings that we've been given that is sitting in this interface is that you are not allowed to trust this magnetism.

Sometimes we're taught that we have an ideal in our head that says you have to like everyone.

You're not allowed to be repulsed by people.

And again,

To take out any ideas of repulsion.

Repulsion just simply means I'm being pushed away from this person.

I don't want to talk to them.

I don't even really want to be in the same room with them.

That it's OK to honor that.

But if we have a philosophy in our head that says,

Now that's judgmental.

You're not being very nice.

How would you like it if someone did that to you?

We have all of this training that says,

Do not listen to your inner truth.

Do not listen to what your body is telling you.

Do not listen to what this perfect second chakra energy is telling you about your purpose on this planet.

Ignore that because you're supposed to like everyone.

And that's a really strange program that can be very deeply embedded in us that makes us stand and listen to someone.

Or talk to someone.

Or marry someone.

Or hug someone.

Or do all these things.

When the truth is we want to run for the border.

We don't want to have anything to do with this person.

And again,

It doesn't have to be that they're actually a mass murderer or something.

I just am not meant to be around them.

And this was a huge thing when I was young.

So I'm 53.

We're a lot more open today about being safe sexually as children.

I mean,

Stuff still happens.

But in my generation,

Most of my friends were sexually abused,

Including me.

And it was a really interesting training as a child.

That you're having a family gathering and it's like,

Okay,

Everybody hug.

Okay kids,

Come and hug your uncle and your grandpa and all these people kind of thing.

And it was so interesting as a child and you're like,

I don't want to.

And it's like,

Get over there and hug them.

Stop being so silly.

And we would be chastised for not listening.

For not busting through that little part of you that's like,

I don't want to hug that person.

I don't want to touch them.

I don't want to be in their energy.

I believe it's different and that's changing today.

But 50 years ago,

That just wasn't even recognized.

That you could actually navigate the world.

And if I don't want to hug you,

That's okay.

You know,

I don't have to be in your presence.

I don't have to quieten that.

And I'll tell you,

If I knew that when I was little,

I probably wouldn't have been abused.

Because I would have been able to say,

I don't want to be around you.

But I was well trained that you weren't allowed to do that,

Especially if it was an adult.

You know,

And that's kind of a dark aspect to it.

But we live like that in life a lot.

Let's say we're at work and there's this colleague and for some reason it's like,

I just don't like talking to them.

If we feel obligated to sit and talk to them,

What happens is we actually get angry.

Because we're ignoring our truth.

And now we start to tell stories.

And now we get it in our head.

And it's like,

Well you know,

I don't really like this person because they do this and this and this.

And they remind me of my aunt who I don't like.

And we start to make stories about this person.

We don't have to make stories about people.

We don't have to make it bigger than it is.

All we really know is my second chakra is saying,

You know,

Go eat at the other table.

This person's not on your path.

They're not part of your journey right now.

We don't have to make up stories unless we feel forced to be with them against the wisdom of our second chakra.

So now what we have to do is we have to put a block up in that interface to this person.

Because we have to,

It's almost like we have to pretend we like them.

We have to put up a false magnet that like,

Oh no,

I really do want to be here.

No you don't.

It's a funny thing like that this world,

We are so trained to lie.

And this hurts our soul.

It really hurts us in deep,

Deep ways to lie and stay when we don't want to.

You know,

And it's interesting too that even say in relationships,

I remember when I was dating and I would go on a dating app.

And you know,

You would meet,

You know,

A chat with them online kind of thing.

And they'd say,

Hey,

Well,

What do you want to do for the first date?

And I'd say,

Well,

Let's just meet.

Like let's not even call it a date.

Let's just,

You know,

Meet for coffee.

Just like we might normally.

Like we might just meet someone because they're a friend of someone.

Like don't get us too wrapped up in this.

And like,

Oh no,

No,

I really,

I'm really interested in meeting you.

I really think we've got something here.

Like we've literally been texting.

And I actually would say to men,

I'd say,

No,

There's like a 10% chance that I'm attracted to you.

You know,

Like actually attracted in an erotic way.

I said,

We might be friends.

We might be all kinds of things.

But in my experience,

If I lined up a hundred people in the room,

The chance of me actually having that real something something for this other person,

Like that goes beyond friendship,

That goes beyond like just simple human kindness and whatever.

I said,

It's really low.

That's the reality.

Like I'm not being a jerk.

I don't even know you.

I'm just saying the chance of me feeling that kind of attraction is really low.

So it's not personal.

It's not about you.

All I know is my soul is searching for something.

Maybe it's you.

Maybe it's not.

But I don't want you to take it personally.

You wouldn't believe how many guys were like,

Well,

That's negative.

Wow,

You're really pessimistic.

And I'm like,

But I'm not going to pretend I like you that way if I don't.

That's a very special kind of attraction.

And so it's a very interesting thing how personally we take it if someone doesn't like us.

And again,

This comes from the training that says,

Ah,

I must be repulsive then.

I have repulsed you.

I must be ugly then.

I must not be successful enough.

I must smell funny.

I must whatever.

It's like,

No.

The magnets just don't line up with this person.

This one person out of seven and a half billion people.

It just doesn't line up.

And that's it.

It's not interesting.

And this is always one of those challenges when,

You know,

When we've been married or we get into a relationship because our life goals line up.

Well,

We both have the same goals in life and we both like to travel and we both like to have children.

But there's no mention of whether there's actually a magnetic attraction between you.

And like someone might come to me and say,

Oh,

Well,

You know,

Will Tantra help bring spice into my life?

And it's like,

Well,

Do you have a natural magnetism with each other?

And it's an important question.

Again,

Because we're so heavy in our brains,

We think we can just create the realities and overlay the reality that we want.

So it's the same thing.

The second chakra,

It's like,

Darn it,

You're really good looking.

I really want my ego could really use dating you or you're really well to do or you've really got a nice car or whatever you want.

It's like,

Oh,

But you're not really attracted to them.

But my brain says I should be because they look right or whatever,

According to Hollywood.

And to really it's it's fascinating to realize the influence of Hollywood on us.

Literally this completely fake storytelling medium and how much we've been programmed to say if someone's attracted to you,

It means something about you that you must be good looking.

You must be whatever.

And it's just not true.

Not really.

Not if we're talking about soul and energy attraction.

So it's really important for us if we want to be able to flow easily in the second chakra with people to get all of those ideas out of our head.

That there's something.

It means something if someone's attracted to or repulsed by you.

Doesn't mean anything.

It just means that that's,

You know,

It's sort of the difference between looking at the world through the 3D lens of here's what you need to accomplish.

And a soul's lens that says what's on my path?

What's the next experience that is meant to be expansive and interesting and creative?

Another big thing we need to be able to do in the second chakra is be honest.

Let's say you're having a conversation with someone who you really love.

Maybe it's a partner or a friend or a sibling or a child or a parent.

And they are someone who's in your life.

This isn't someone you're dating or you don't want to be around actually.

You're actually you are with this person.

This kind of interaction is also difficult in the second chakra because we've been taught to not be honest.

Or we've been taught to be so honest we're cruel.

It's sort of that ruthlessness.

It's an interesting balance,

You know.

So for me being Canadian,

We've been well versed in politeness to a fault that we don't we're not even honest with you if we disagree with you or we feel like you're controlling us or whatever.

We'll kind of just smile and take it and it's kind of nice and it's kind of dysfunctional.

And then you travel to a different country and remember living in Greece for a little while.

And this isn't a statement on all Greek people or anything.

But it was so interesting that some of the people I interacted with there and they just walk up to you and they would just wow were they ever honest.

They would just say something to you and you're like holy mackerel I really wasn't ready for that level of honesty.

Or someone looks at you and they're like wow you got fat huh.

Just you're like wow like that's so that's not what I'm talking about when it comes to being honest.

I'm not talking about this boom like we have to do everything in kindness.

And so in order to be honest and kind in relationships this is something we have to work on.

Because again we've all been trained into this world where we have who we really are.

Then we develop these weird personas that we use in the world that I want you to think this about me.

I want you to think I'm successful.

I want you to think that I'm confident.

I want you to love me.

I want you to think I'm easygoing.

Whatever these constructs are in this persona.

So very often when we're interacting with someone we're actually interacting with their persona.

Which makes easy flow in the second chakra difficult.

Because it's almost like something inside of you your spidey senses are thinking this doesn't sound right.

Or I don't think you're telling me the truth.

They're sort of telling you a story of what's going on in their life and you're like it doesn't seem right.

But we're taught to just smile and nod and oh yeah and stay on the surface.

Well staying on the surface doesn't actually allow for real flow.

It's almost makes the whole interaction irrelevant.

If you kind of walk away no different than you came in.

I love one of the quotes of Carl Jung and he said something like.

When two people truly interact there is a chemical exchange and both people leave a little bit different.

And that's really second chakra flow that when we interact with each other there's a purpose.

And it's so interesting when we just sort of have these shallow conversations.

And I don't mean wandering through the grocery store and going hey how's it going great how are you and you keep walking.

I mean that's fine that's just lovely gentle connection in the world.

I mean you're having a conversation with someone and you're not actually engaging.

You're not actually engaging in honesty.

So to actually find new scripts in our minds that say really that doesn't quite sound right.

I'm having a hard time relating with what you're saying.

And then to actually maybe they say well yeah I guess it's not really true there's actually all this other stuff going on that's really bothering me.

And you know what I mean like we actually have to find the scripts to actually have genuine conversations with people.

And to not stay on the surface all the time.

The other thing is sometimes people say things that aren't true at all or they actually really bother you.

And there's something about honoring that deep feminine knowing and regardless of gender this isn't just for women this is for all people.

To that we have this deep wisdom that says this isn't right.

And that we actually speak from that place.

This is what I depend on with my friends and my kids.

That if I'm talking about something and I want to kind of verbally process it that they're going to say it doesn't feel right.

Something's not right about that.

I'm like oh okay all right well maybe it's this.

This is genuine interaction and it's a very interesting thing when we can't do that.

It keeps us at this weird distance and then there's no flow between people.

We're just sort of high high high high.

And then we go our opposite way no matter how much conversation happened in the middle there.

The other interesting thing that we do that we're taught that keeps us at a distance is this concept of keeping the peace.

There's no such thing as keeping the peace.

Not really.

Unless you're really doing a lot of obligatory visiting which of course we also have to look at.

Why are we doing this?

Why are we visiting with people?

That's like a ticking time bomb.

I remember years ago a man came to me for counseling and he was really struggling in his marriage.

And he was sort of telling me these different things that his wife had said and you know different things.

And I don't know what was really going on there.

I don't know.

Today I don't remember the details.

But I remember saying to him,

Did you say anything?

Have you told her all of these things that you're telling me?

And he'd say,

No no no no.

He says,

I don't want to cause trouble.

And I remember thinking at the time,

You're not causing trouble.

There is trouble.

There is difficulty between you.

There is an imbalance.

There is meanness.

There is a control and power struggle here.

All you're doing is saying the words.

You're just calling it out.

You're not causing anything.

And this is an interesting thing about this idea of keeping the peace as opposed to just saying,

This is really uncomfortable.

Or I really,

I really don't like when you say things like that to me.

You're not causing trouble.

You're just saying,

I really don't like this.

Oh well,

You know,

You're just,

You know.

And it's like,

Well you can react like that if you want.

But I'm just being honest.

Not honest about you.

Not like,

And you're a jerk.

But just like,

Wow,

This really is uncomfortable for me.

And I don't like it.

Wow.

And it's like,

Well,

Again,

You can react all you want.

But this is my truth.

It's a huge deal.

This idea of truth runs through all the chakras.

This idea of honoring our satya,

Honoring our truth,

Is also in the second chakra.

Or else how are we ever supposed to navigate the world?

Why are we even bothering interacting with people if we're not bringing our true self to the table?

We can get all angry at other people for having these personas up.

But if we're acting with our persona up and pretending that we're something we're not,

Why would we ever expect anyone else to be any different?

And part of that is actually allowing all of the emotions to rise.

That if I'm with you and you say something and suddenly I feel so sad,

Then I'm allowed to be sad.

I don't have to pretend I'm not sad.

If you say something that pisses me off,

I'm allowed to be angry and I'm going to be angry.

If I'm super happy,

Then I'm going to be super happy about something.

But to actually allow this emotional wave to happen with other people,

This is the second chakra.

If we aren't listening to our emotions,

If we don't allow all the emotions,

We're not even relating with this other person.

We're not actually there.

We're not actually engaged at all.

We're just sort of robots playing out whatever persona we want this person to think of us.

I wanted to read you this quote that I love.

It's a Rumi quote.

Run from what's comfortable.

Forget safety.

Live where you fear to live.

Destroy your reputation.

Be notorious.

I have tried prudent planning long enough.

From now on,

I'll be mad.

And mad in the crazy way.

I love this quote so much.

And not that we have to be radical and crazy and intentionally cause attention to ourself or something like that.

That's not it.

But to actually allow ourselves to be honest.

And if the other person thinks I'm crazy because that bothers me what you just said.

That's OK.

You know what I mean?

Maybe I'm in the wrong company.

It's all good to actually risk reputation.

This is something currently I'm playing with inside my heart.

You know,

As I as I run for town council,

Suddenly I'm like,

Oh,

I shouldn't do that because what will the people think?

And then I won't get elected.

You know,

This whole reputation idea is coming up inside of me in a way that's brand new.

It's like,

Katrina,

Just be you.

And if people like it,

That's fine.

If they don't like it,

That's fine.

It's better to be notorious and honest and of some earthly value than to throw up a persona and forget about who I really am.

Like,

Why would I bother going on council if I'm just going to be fake and I'm just going to play to the crowd and I'm just going to be a yes person?

Why would I bother?

So this is a current interesting little awareness inside of my own path right now.

So then we have to look at why do we struggle to be honest?

Why do we struggle to share our emotions?

Why do we struggle to have this honesty with people?

Well,

One of the big challenges is we have huge attachment to our relationships.

So to develop non-attachment to the relationship is really important.

And this doesn't mean we don't love someone.

It doesn't mean that we aren't kind to this person.

Does it mean that we don't feel,

I don't know,

Compassion for this other person?

But they often say that one of the things that blocks the second chakra or one of the things that creates all of these programs in the interface is fear.

And the number one thing is the fear of death.

Now,

If you imagine this in the context of relationships,

We fear that this relationship will end.

If I act in my truth,

If I'm honest with you,

You might not want to be in this relationship with me anymore.

So I'm not going to be honest with you.

I'm going to pretend I'm happy.

I'm going to pretend I'm attracted to you.

I'm going to pretend everything's okay because anything's better than this relationship ending.

Which isn't true because we kind of die inside.

So how do we become unattached to whether or not we're in a relationship?

Well,

The number one thing is to be whole unto ourselves.

Like if you imagine yourself as a yin yang symbol,

That you are actually complete.

And again,

We have a huge teaching in the world that says you are not complete unless you have found another,

Unless you are in a partnership.

You are not complete.

Like says who?

It's a very curious thing.

If you wanted to have children,

You don't really have to be in a partnership.

You could easily raise children with a group of people,

With a village.

I mean,

We haven't seen a lot of this in the world,

But I kind of believe this is where we're going.

That you actually,

The children are actually raised by the village.

Like we have a lot of training that says,

No,

No,

No,

It has to be this way,

Right down to,

Well,

Ideally it's a man and a woman and it's monogamous and it's for life and all this.

Well,

If there's anything we know that this really isn't true.

It could be anybody who loves each other.

It could be anyone at all.

I mean,

And whether you have children or you don't,

Or whether you're monogamous or polyamorous,

Or whether it lasts a year or it lasts 40 years.

None of these things actually have anything to do with the experience between the people,

The soul experience,

The actual connection,

The second chakra flow.

All those things are just a construct that we've sort of been fed.

And like even if someone is single,

You know,

They're like,

Oh,

Well,

Don't worry,

You'll find someone.

Like this is deprogramming that if you don't have this other,

You're not complete.

There's no way you could be happy.

Well,

The funny thing about the second chakra is the second chakra does govern sexuality for sure.

So this interacts with another person,

But it's also creativity.

And as human beings,

I actually believe that school has done a lot of damage in this way.

Because for the first,

You know,

By the time we're like four or five years old,

And then we get into school for the next 13 years,

Creativity doesn't work if you're being graded.

These are our formative years.

Why as humans are we so afraid to be creative?

This is our second chakra too.

It's almost like because our creativity has been so squashed.

The only way we can actually feel in our second chakra is sexually with another human.

So we only focus on that.

But I have this great friend that I've talked about before who paints these amazing paintings like she channels these amazing paintings of the Ascension.

And she's 85.

And you know,

She was born Mennonite,

She was married,

She had all the babies and the grand babies and the great grand babies and all that kind of thing.

And her husband died 30 years ago.

And we would hang out in idle and I was hanging out with her a lot when I was dating.

So I would always like we go for dinner and I'd tell her all my stories about the sex I was having or whatever.

It was hilarious.

And she'd always kind of look at me and she'd say,

I honestly get the same rush out of painting.

And unless we've ever experienced that,

We don't believe it.

Because we've been so inundated again through Hollywood,

Through social conditioning to say,

No,

No,

No,

No,

No,

The ultimate thrill is relationship with another person.

This is the ultimate thrill.

Without this,

You are missing something.

I guarantee you,

You are missing something.

Tell that to the greatest adventures of our time.

Tell that to the greatest thinkers of our time.

Tell that to musicians or artists or people who love the creative process,

Who get lost in their work.

It isn't true.

Relationships are not the be all and end all.

We are creative beings.

We create our lives.

We can create a new adventure tomorrow.

I could decide tomorrow,

You know what?

I'm going to train for a marathon.

And this is going to be a new adventure.

And I'm going to figure out what do I need to do to prepare my body?

What do I need to do nutritionally?

What groups can I join?

What new friends can I make?

How can I do this?

And this is going to be a new adventure and I'm going to create a body that can actually run a marathon.

This is going to be an entirely new journey.

Or I'm going to say,

You know what?

I'm going to buy an easel and I'm going to explore watercolor,

Even though I'm not an artist,

Theoretically.

Because this is another thing that has squelched our creativity,

Is that we were taught that only the best people play sports.

Only the best athletes,

Only the best artists do art,

Only the best musicians play.

And the rest of us are spectators.

The rest of us just watch.

So that's the majority of people just watch these elite athletes and elite artists and elite musicians.

But the rest of us have a second chakra too.

The rest of us also have to be creative to feel alive.

I was watching an interesting video yesterday of Gaber Maté,

Who's this fascinating man who works a lot with addictions and things like that.

And he was commenting on the addiction to pornography.

And he said people aren't addicted to pornography per se.

They're addicted to the dopamine rush they get from watching pornography.

And one of the big challenges in life is why aren't we getting dopamine rushes from life?

Why are we not out there creating?

Why are we not living on the edge of our own self?

And this is of course,

And you can imagine how this ties into the second chakra.

Because for some reason we're terrified to create.

We're terrified to stick our neck out.

We're terrified to try something new and potentially not be the best and not get the A and not be considered whatever some elite athlete,

Musician,

Artist,

Creator,

Thinker,

Whatever.

We're so afraid to be creative in that second chakra.

So imagine instead our lives were actually these creative,

Amazing vehicles.

And it's not that I'm single,

I'm an individual.

I remember David Boehm used to say that the meaning of the word individual meant that I'm undivided.

I am whole.

So now imagine you are a whole being.

You are an individual.

You are creative.

You're inspired.

You're pondering,

All right,

What's next on my docket?

What's my next adventure?

So all of a sudden then somebody comes into your life that perhaps wants to have a relationship with you.

They want to have a romantic relationship with you.

Well,

You can actually be completely unattached to whether or not you're in that relationship.

And it isn't that you don't love the person.

It isn't that you don't care about them.

It's not that you're not attracted.

But whether or not the relationship exists or not doesn't throw you off the planet.

Because you are a creative,

Fully actualized human being walking around the planet creating and having adventures.

And it's like,

Oh,

You would like to walk with me for a while and we will have adventures together?

Awesome,

Pawsome.

And as long as this is thriving and positive and healthy,

It remains.

And as soon as our second chakra starts to go,

I don't think this is a thing anymore.

Or the attraction is gone or whatever,

Then we can happily then change paths.

And it isn't that there was something wrong with them.

We don't have to make stories up or that there was something wrong with us if they felt that it was time to move on.

It was just time to move on.

And we are still the whole beings that we are when we began.

So this is a really interesting way of healing this codependency that we have in the second chakra.

This latching on to other people.

And again,

This doesn't even have to just be romantic relationships.

It can be friendships.

It can even be siblings and family.

That we have huge codependency.

That they have to be in our lives and they have to treat us a certain way and they have to act a certain way.

And they have to think a certain way.

This completely blocks our flow in the second chakra.

Because they aren't allowed to be honest.

We're not being honest because we're so requiring this relationship to be something for us because we aren't complete.

And again,

Lots of us are in that position.

So the journey becomes becoming complete.

Really stepping out into the world in our own power,

In our own autonomy.

And saying,

Okay,

Regardless of other people,

What do I love to do?

What do I want to create?

What do I want to do here?

And this can be a huge challenge because then that brings up all kinds of things like the judgement.

Like what if people don't like us?

What if people think we're crazy?

Or what if they think they don't like my painting or whatever?

Or even the idea that creativity always has to make you money.

That everything you do has to be sold somehow.

Instead of just the pure joy of just being creative.

So one of the interesting shifts in life is that historically we've lived from this karmic place.

Where we're sort of just driven by these old patterns that we have to heal or maybe we have some unfinished business we have to do.

So this often will lead into a lot of these codependent patterns in the second chakra.

That we just,

I need this,

I need this,

I need this.

So I'm going to put up this persona.

I'm going to pretend.

I'm going to lie.

I'm going to keep everybody happy.

I'm going to lash out and keep you away.

Whatever.

Because I'm sort of running from this old karmic pattern.

But as we start to heal and as we start to kind of come into our own and our own inspired place.

Like if you imagine all these beautiful chakras from the upper chakra,

From the seventh chakra.

Where we connect in to the whole galaxy,

The whole universe.

And we hear this divine inspiration and we bring it down through the chakras.

And we actually manifest this inspiration on the earth.

Suddenly we start moving into Dharma.

And Dharma,

There's a lot of different meanings of the word Dharma.

But Dharma is our soul's path.

That we can walk this soul's path without attachment to whether or not this exists on the path or not.

Because well if that doesn't exist on the path,

Then something else will appear on the path.

Whatever it is that's part of my Dharma,

Part of my life's path.

And what's really interesting about the second chakra is in Sanskrit it's called Svadisthana.

And Svadisthana,

Again because it's Sanskrit there's a million meanings of it.

But one of the interpretations of it is that it's the dwelling of your soul.

Or where your soul abides.

Now think about this,

So our third chakra is sort of our definition of self,

Our mission,

Who we are,

Our thoughts.

But our second chakra is where that abides,

Where that lives.

So now imagine this is your home.

And you're interacting with people here.

And you have these opportunities for expansion.

And you have these opportunities for creativity.

And you have these opportunities for like even true interaction with another person.

Positive or negative will actually expand our soul's growth.

So suddenly the second chakra is this incredible opportunity for our soul to expand.

So then we don't have so much attached to who is there or what is there.

We're just interested in playing.

We just want to experience whatever is on our path.

And then flow with it and grow with it and expand it.

Because it's kind of where our soul actually lives.

If you have any questions,

I'm more than happy to answer them.

After my mom passed,

My dad told me I was going to tear apart the family with his mistress and my half-sister.

You know,

It's really interesting.

I'm glad you brought that up because I also believe that as humans,

There's a lot of unwritten contracts in families and relationships and romantic relationships that no matter how you feel,

You're going to keep the family together.

No matter how you feel,

You're going to take care of your brothers and sisters.

No matter how you feel,

You're going to stay in this relationship no matter what.

And it's a really,

Really important thing to deeply look at those contracts.

I think after my mom died,

You know,

And it's not just because I'm the oldest,

Lots of people have this regardless of birth order.

But I definitely had a contract that I was to take care of my sisters no matter what,

Which meant I was going to swallow my truth a lot to keep peace in the family,

To keep every.

.

.

It's like you're the matriarch now.

I was 29.

Now you're going to take care of everybody.

You take care of your father.

You take care of everything.

And it probably took 25 years.

My mom's been gone for 28 years and it's probably only in the last few years that I broke that contract with my sisters and my dad that said,

No,

I'm not here to keep the peace between you.

I'm not here to keep the family together.

I'm here to be me.

I have my own soul's path.

And we're all grown adults.

We're all responsible for the family,

Not just me.

So it's a really interesting thing to be aware of these contracts that might be in there.

I took care of an abusive boyfriend.

Nothing left in the tank.

Then what?

Oh,

Wow.

You know,

It's really amazing.

And I'm going to say this and it's really cliche.

So I apologize.

But you know when they say that rock bottom became my new foundation for living?

I don't know whether J.

K.

Rowling really was the first person to say that,

But she's quoted as saying that.

There's something about being in a really abusive situation that really does drain you completely.

First,

You have to really honor that and really rest.

Like really rest because any kind of situation like that draws right out of our bones and we become literally bone tired.

And you can't make decisions from that place.

You can't even can't even heal.

So you really have to honor some serious sabbatical from other humans for a little while.

But then we really look at it.

We really look at it.

And like this is what's really interesting.

Within us as humans,

We have something that's called a witness mind.

In yoga,

We talk about there being three different minds,

Three mental bodies.

The positive mind that wants to do things,

The negative mind that tells you,

Whoa,

Whoa,

Whoa,

Let's back up,

You know,

Do the math.

Then we have this neutral mind that's able to really look at things in this witness mind.

And when we've been in a really abusive situation that literally drained the life force right out of us.

This is where we need to access that witness mind.

And whether it's through something like yoga or meditation that we really practice reconnecting with our soul,

Reconnecting with who we are.

And then looking at the patterns and saying,

So what were the programs in my second chakra?

That said this was okay.

What were the programs that I was taught as a child that said it was okay for people to treat me like that?

Or what were the programs that said that I was a loser if I didn't stay or that I thought it was that I had failed in this relationship if I didn't stay?

The question is,

Why did I stay?

Not why they're abusive,

The world,

That's just the world.

But why did I stay?

And it becomes a really beautiful spiritual journey to understand that.

And as we figure that out,

We learn so much about ourselves.

And then we start to see the same dynamics and friendships.

And we see the same dynamics and relationships with bosses and colleagues.

And we start to realize,

Whoa,

This isn't true.

I don't deserve this.

And so it really helps us unpack maybe some of these patterns,

These samskaras,

These old patterns that for some reason we're playing out.

And what's amazing is when we finally leave and we're really in that state of awareness,

That's when we get to just break the pattern.

But we break the pattern by filling our tank with different ideas,

With new ideas that would never allow that to happen again.

After my mom died,

I blew up at my brothers.

I found my anger.

Now I'm angry a lot.

I feel like my family beat the nice out of me.

That can happen.

A hundred percent.

But that's okay.

It's funny the people that end up in our lives and we kind of look around at them and just it's just interesting to just look at the personalities.

To really,

You could almost tell a story about your second chakra.

Like,

Imagine if you're in a family that's really difficult like that.

And you actually sit down and you almost like if you were going to write a story and say,

Here's me interacting with this person and this personality.

In my second chakra,

When I interact with a person who acts like this or thinks like this,

Here's the response that happens in me.

And you could even say,

My soul wants to say this.

My interface reacts or pushes back or fights back or gets angry.

And then you think,

And then there's this other brother.

And this is their personality and this is their perspective.

And when I react with them,

When I react to them,

This is what happens.

But to really be able to see it,

It's almost like seeing the kaleidoscope of your second chakra interface.

It's almost like your family has given you this interesting insight into some really old patterns.

And somehow they even all dovetail together.

Years ago,

When I first started teaching my yoga teacher training,

One of the assignments was to write your life story in the third person.

So you would say,

Katrina was born in Scarborough,

Ontario,

Canada,

To two teachers.

She was always this way.

And she really looked up to her mom,

But her mom was born to this kind of family and her mom really was a people pleaser.

But she honored that.

So she really followed in those footsteps.

Her dad,

He was born.

And you kind of tell this story.

And that when she turned 14,

She became very hyper focused on being approved by the crowd.

And that really changed her.

And she put up and to actually tell the story in the third person.

And she was born to,

And she had these siblings.

And this sibling always pushed this button.

And you know,

Da da da da da da da da da.

And to actually be able to tell the story in the third person and to watch it.

And it's amazing how much compassion you have for yourself.

And if you keep telling the story,

You'll also start fleshing out the personalities of your family.

Of your siblings,

Of your parents,

Of your current partner,

Of your children.

And all of a sudden,

They start becoming very human as well.

They're not just these aggressors in our lives.

They're not just these rotten people.

You start to understand where they came from,

Too.

And everything starts to change.

It doesn't change the behavior.

It doesn't change how you feel about them.

But it really allows a compassion for self,

For them.

And it's like it takes the power out of the trigger.

And then all of a sudden,

If they say something or they do something,

We're able to respond with a lot more kindness.

And I don't mean putting up with nonsense or putting up with bad behavior.

I mean,

Maybe you just quietly leave the room.

Or you quietly say something,

You know,

This isn't really working for me.

But if you want to talk about it sometime,

I'd be really happy to because I really value our relationship.

And I just feel we're stuck in a rut here.

I feel we're stuck in a really negative cycle that maybe has gone on for generations.

And I don't I don't really want to do that anymore.

I don't want to feel like that with you anymore.

You know,

It's really beautiful to be able to say something.

And even if they say,

Oh,

For God's sake,

Take your spiritual crap and stuff it up your.

.

.

They might say that,

But that's OK.

That's them.

That's just them.

We have a different response.

We're allowed to have a response that's thoughtful.

And even if they react in their patterned way,

Maybe a year from now,

They come back and they say,

You know,

I had this experience and kind of opened me up and I think you're right.

I really do want to make this different now.

Sometimes we're a little impatient.

We want everything to change right now.

So thank you so much for being here.

I hope you have a blissfully creative day.

I'll see you soon.

Reviews

Your talks are quite possibly life changing for those willing and brave enough to implement the lessons...

Lovely talk

Very interesting liked the idea that we can trust our 2nd chakra that some people just aren’t right for us at this moment without any judgement. The recording seemed to end very abruptly tho. Xx

Wow, so raw and eye opening! Thank you 🙏🏽

Absolutely loving this new series 🧡Thank you Katrina 🙏

Fantastic talk. You embodied so much of what I notice in the world and put it into words. Thank you.