Be comfortable,
Sit,
Lie down,
Stand,
Walk,
Whatever.
Noticing what's here in this moment.
Begin to listen to and befriend the sound of your own breath.
Notice places in your physical self that might be asking for attention,
Maybe even screaming for attention.
And rather than pushing them away or trying not to feel them,
Allow them to be here.
I mean,
They are what they are anyway,
Right?
If there's pain,
There's pain,
Whether we block it out or befriend it.
Now also notice another place that is not screaming for attention that might be just fine.
We want that ability to attune to different aspects of ourselves,
Even in a moment of suffering,
Right?
So we practice.
We practice attuning to sensations that are different from each other.
Some sensations might actually be suffering,
Be pain,
And some sensations might be equally pleasurable.
So let's attune to those as well.
What's hard?
What are you avoiding emotionally?
Running from struggle takes a lot of energy.
Really,
There are three main ones,
Right?
There's fear,
There's grief,
And there's anger.
And there are feelings like hope,
Peace,
Courage,
Acceptance,
Curiosity,
Fulfillment,
Love,
Playfulness,
Creativity.
So attune to whatever feels true and real within you.
So those feelings are equally authentic to the ones that are hard.
The more we tune into our own physical and emotional sensations,
Our own interception,
Which means the senses in our organs,
And our mindfulness and awareness of the present moment without judgment,
The more we tune into our own experience,
The less likely we'll be to feel that almost addictive pull into someone else's experience.
Myself and many empaths and highly sensitive people can use jumping into others' experience others' stresses,
Others' suffering,
As a way to actually avoid our own.
So by being comfortable with our own discomfort,
Our own full breadth and range of experience,
What can happen when we do that is we can become a better friend,
Not just to ourselves,
But to those that we relate to.
I invite you to just be open to that possibility by being more comfortable in our own skin and in our own discomfort and full breadth,
Full range of who we are in this moment.
We can be more present with others,
We can be a better friend.
I'm going to be quiet,
Invite you to return to your breath and to your inner sensations,
The full breadth of them.
I invite you to think of a recent interaction with a friend that was meaningful to you.
See what arises,
Deepen into the sensations of that moment,
The sense memory of that moment.
I invite you to consider what was meaningful about that moment,
That interaction.
What do you value?
What are you grateful for?
Sink that in to your center,
Into your body,
Let it seep in,
Let it absorb that feeling or meaning.
Of attunement,
Of connection you experienced.
Now I'll invite you to switch to a moment that maybe wasn't as harmonious.
Think of a time that was hard with a friend and what was hard about it.
Maybe you felt like your boundaries were pushed,
You were somehow uncomfortable,
Or you had a hard time staying with your own authenticity in the moment.
Whether it's like disconnect or self-abandonment or frustration or not feeling seen,
Anger or sadness,
Or that feeling of wanting to fix,
Longing to jump into their challenges.
How hard it can be to sit with someone who is struggling and not be able to fix it,
Or not even try to fix it.
What that brings up.
Okay,
Have you got a feeling?
Are you willing to say yes to that feeling?
Attune to yourself.
Where do you sense that feeling?
In your body.
How old is the feeling?
Ask the feeling,
How can I best support you right now?
Not the other person in the relationship,
The feeling within you.
How can I best support you right now?
You might want to put a hand on your heart.
Give yourself that nurturing,
That friendship.
Imagine it seeping through your skin,
Through all of your pores,
To your center,
Into your organs.
The gesture of friendship toward yourself.
What in this interaction with yourself right now can you feel gratitude for?
Can you both be the one who's being generous and the one receiving it,
Receiving that generosity,
Receiving the friendship?
Please thank yourself.
Feel free to give yourself a hug or place your hand on your heart.
Consider like,
How would I be a better friend if I was this good a friend to myself?
How would this translate to my relationships with others?
And what physical gesture could I do when I am pulled in to an interaction where I feel my boundaries are blurred,
Or I'm not attuned to myself and I am more attuned to the other?
What's a gesture that I could do to help remind myself of that?
Consider what wisdom your body might be willing to share with you and how it wants to be supported as you remain a friend to yourself.
