I've come to understand so much about relationships,
Romantic relationships,
Partnership over the past couple of years,
And something that I'm learning is that in order to have real connection,
Deep connection,
Deep love,
Deep intimacy,
We have to be so vulnerable.
We have to let all the walls come down,
All the blocks be removed.
We have to be willing to really be seen,
To really be seen by someone,
To see all the parts,
To have someone see all of our parts and to really see somebody else in their entirety as well.
And to do this without judgment and to do it with love and compassion and understanding and empathy,
And that is hard.
It turns out it's pretty challenging.
I've always wondered why people have found relationships so hard,
You know,
Why so many of us struggle and why divorce rates are so high.
And I've always wondered about those things.
And I get it.
I really do.
Because I think most of us have a really hard time truly letting someone in,
Truly being our full selves around someone.
And here's the thing.
The biggest thing I feel like I've learned in relationship is that when I hold judgment or blame or,
You know,
If I'm rejecting any part of my partner,
I know that it is just how I am rejecting myself.
Our partners are just mirrors for us.
They are showing us what we need to work on or what we're not liking about ourselves.
I have seen firsthand how my own judgment of self that I don't want to consciously accept is being projected onto my partner.
So I judge him instead of me.
But I know the truth.
I know that that's happening.
I have awareness.
So I can work on it.
But it's really hard.
It's really hard to,
To let those things go,
I guess to,
To admit those things and to be different and to step into a higher version of self where we don't judge others or we don't blame others,
Or we take responsibility for our own actions,
Our own lives,
Our own perceived shortcomings.
You know,
The things that we are not accepting or judging about ourselves,
Our partner is going to show us,
We can't hide from it.
And so the easy thing to do is just to make them the bad guy is to put them down to make ourselves feel better.
But that isn't right.
And that's never gonna lead to deep,
Long lasting connection.
You know,
We're never gonna get there with that.
So that's what it takes is allowing ourselves to kind of break down in a way to let it all go.
Stop holding on so tightly to things that don't serve us anymore to things we know we can be better at.
Man.
Yeah,
It's deep stuff.
It is challenging.
That's for sure.
It is.
It is challenging,
But so much beautiful growth can happen.
So much more love and deeper connection,
Deeper intimacy.
All these things can happen.
You know,
It feels like the love that we really want to experience with another person.
It can be achieved if we're willing to really do what it takes.
And the concept is simple,
You know,
Just like,
Stop being a jerk.
But it's more than that,
You know,
Deeper than that.
Because it's our own stuff.
This healing journey is really intense,
Really layered.
I've noticed so many layers.
When you really start diving in,
It is a multi layered experience.
Because if you,
If you haven't done it before,
You know,
If you've lived 30 or 40 some years,
Without really looking at your shadow,
And all of a sudden you start looking at it,
It's a lot.
There's a lot in there.
It's a lot under there.
Stuff you didn't even know about.
Stuff that was not in your conscious awareness.
That's where I'm at these days.
Back the layers,
Doing the healing work,
Shedding ways of being that don't serve me,
And that I know I'm ready to grow out of.
And I know I'm ready to transcend.
But that's the other tough thing,
You know,
When you've been a certain way for a long time,
As much as you want to change or be different.
Sometimes it just feels like you won't be able to.
Because we've just gotten so used to being a certain way.
And so it feels almost wrong to be different.
It feels like you're going against something.
So it's interesting to start seeing things differently.
To really be aware of what you can really grow from what you can change.
And for me,
It's just been having patience with myself.
Sometimes it feels impossible.
I know it's not.
But I allow myself to feel that.
And I just continue to have patience and faith.
Patience and faith.
Because that's what I've seen happen before.
Things that feel impossible or things that feel really hard.
With time and patience and love,
Those things have stopped feeling hard.
And I've been able to grow.
I've been able to have the growth that I knew I needed.
But I know that it's going to come in whatever time it comes.
So when things feel impossible,
Even though I can look at what I need to change or what I need to grow,
And I can see it for what it is,
And I can see it logically.
But I have to allow myself the time and space and compassion that the healing is going to take.
Because that's the thing,
We don't really know.
We don't really know how long it'll take.
But we can have faith that it's working.
We can have faith that we are healing.
We can have faith that in time,
Things will get better.
Right?
That we won't always,
We won't always be struggling with something.
That it will resolve and our life will go on.
And at some point,
We may hardly even remember this version of ourselves.
That at one time in our lives,
This particular thing felt really hard.
That's all for now.
Namaste,
My friend.
